Life Without the One I Love

"No Zhenya I will not let you do this again," she whispered forcefully across the table at me.
"Why not? I do this for you," I bit back growing frustrated at her stubbornness.
"Because we are here for you, this is your dream. Your not giving that up for me. Last time they almost didn't let you come back."
"No, Russian hockey doesn't matter, I will always come back." I shook my head, "I just want you to be happy too."
"I am happy, I have you and our daughter and that is all that matters."
"No Maria, that isn't how this works."
"Well..." she pushed the chair out and stood up clearly over the conversation, "we are here, we are staying in Pittsburgh and that is final, you can't let Sidney fight this all on his own again," she threw her napkin down and stormed out of the restaurant.
"Maria come back," I grabbed a handful of bills and slipped them under my plate before getting up to hurry after her.

I didn't even know why we were having this argument. Going back to Magnitogorsk was only a suggestion. With yet another lockout looming there wasn't really any other option if I wanted to keep playing hockey. Nobody knew how long it was going to last and I didn't want to be missing out on hockey to be fighting politics here.

"Maria where do you think you are going?" I sighed watching here waddle off in her too tall heels.
"Home!" she shouted as she walked straight passed our car.
"Don't be silly, you can't walk that far," but she kept walking, shoulder's up and determined, "you wouldn't want to ruin your favourite heels..." and then she stopped.

I pressed the button on my key ring to unlock the car and walked over to the passenger side to open the door for her.
"Don't think being a gentleman is going to make me drop this," she scowled as she climbed in a snatched the door from me to close it herself.

I rolled my eyes because if there was one thing that summed up Maria it was her being stubborn, she was the queen of it.

I climbed into the drivers side and watched her out of the corner of my eye as buckled myself in.
"Good?... Don't be like this," I reached for her hand on her knee when she didn't answer.
"Don't," she wrenched her hand away, "don't talk to me right now," she folded her arms over her chest.

I sighed and started the car. If not talking to her right now was what she wanted than she could have it. I wasn't going to talk to her. She would come back to me when she was ready.

The streets were fairly quiet for a Saturday night in Pittsburgh and something just didn't feel right. I felt like I was going to be sick, my stomach was doing flips and something was telling me not to go the short way home but I did.

I stopped at the lights and fiddled around with my watch, "Do you want to pick Kieta up from Sid's now or get her tomorrow morning?"
"Now," she mumbled not even bothering to look away from where she was staring intently out the window.
"Ok."
So instead of turning right to go home I headed straight through the intersection.

"ZHENYA!" my wife screamed and sat up abruptly latching onto my hand.

That was when everything began to blur together. The sound of tyres screeching on the road as our car span in circles, Maria screaming in the seat next to me. I felt like I was in some kind of horror film.

Everything was silent for a while once the car stopped and I thought for a second I was dead because peacefulness wasn't what I had ever imagined in a moment like this.

"Maria," I spoke up trying to find her hand once again and regretted it instantly as my whole body screamed at me. I felt like I had been checked into the boards by the entire Flyers hockey team at once.
I turned my head to see blood trickling down her pale face, tiny pieces of glass showering her hair, her hand was there just in reach so I grabbed it without second thought. She didn't say anything, didn't squeeze back only the quietest little whimper of pain came from her mouth before she was silent again.
"Maria."

"Sir?" I heard someone else's voice as I was about to start begging her to wake up.
"Help," I turned my attention to the movement but as I did everything began to fade away, my voice wouldn't work, my eyes began to shut and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
"Sir?" I felt a hand on my shoulder but I couldn't respond I was done, my body was saying no to the pain and I was out like a light.