Suffocation.

I wasn't sure how I was going to do it, but I managed to avoid Graham for the rest of the week. Even in gym class when he would attempt to pull me aside as if he was going to give me another assignment. He said that he just wanted to explain himself, but he didn't need to. We weren't dating, I wasn't his girlfriend, and we weren't even benefits. All we ever were two people that shared a few innocent, and not so innocent kisses between the two of us. That was it, I overacted, but I was too proud to apologize for that.

Now it is the weekend, and that is exciting. Bobby and Frankie were visiting her parents with her brother in southern Florida. Her dad had found out he had cancer and they decided to retire early and move down because the warm weather helps with his breathing, or something like that. But Frankie had asked Daphne and I to house sit while they were away. They were afraid that someone might notice the absence of people there and break in. We agreed because Daphne wanted to start studying for finals, even though they weren't until May.

"Lennon," Daphne said slipping into my room and closing the door behind her. "I need your help."

"If it's a math question, forget it. I copy off of you, remember?"

"It's not that," said before taking a deep breath. "It's about sex."

My eyes go wide but I can't help having a small giggle pass my lips. Daphne goes red and looks down at his fiddling fingers. "Oh, okay."

Daphne took a seat on the edge of my bed. "His parents are going out of town and he invited me over tonight."

"I thought we were going to study tonight?" Daphne gave me a stupid look. "Fine, I'll study by myself."

"I need your help though because I've never done it before and I'm sure Allen has because he's had plenty of girlfriends before."

"You don't know if A.J. has had sex yet?"

"No."

"You need to talk to him about it. Why are you talking to me if you haven't even talked to him?"

"It's embarrassing-"

I cut her off. "If you think having a sex talk with someone you are going to have sex with, you shouldn't have sex."

"I just don't want to be judged for being sixteen and still a virgin."

"If A.J. judges you for still being a virgin at the young age of sixteen, you shouldn't be having sex with him."

"You're not making this easy."

"I'm sorry but I think having sex is kind of a big deal. Both of you need to talk about it before you jump into bed and a lot of kids our age don't do that. How many girls has he been with? Does he have a disease? Does he like to do kinky things that you might not be into?"

Daphne threw her head into my lap and covered her face with one of her hands. "I just think I'm ready but I'm really scared because I don't know what to do or how to do it and I don't want to do something wrong in front of Allen because I've liked him for the longest time and now because of you, we're finally dating."

"Oh, honey. The good thing about sex is that we're programmed to reproduce so it becomes natural instinct and you just do whatever feels right. Don't be ashamed of your lack of experience, especially with A.J. He's a great guy, he's a lucky guy."

"Thanks Lennon," she said sincerely.

"No problem."

We were quiet for a moment. Daphne still had her head on my lap and I brushed her blonde hair with my fingers. "What should I wear?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like should I wear a dress or a skirt, so it would be easier?"

"Definitely not. Wear what you're wearing now." Daphne looks down at the butterfly cardigan she wore over a blue top. "And make sure you have cute underwear on. Nothing is more of a turn off than ugly and old panties."

Daphne and I leave after having a quick take-out dinner once my dad came home. It honestly amazed me how thin everyone remained with the amount of take-out this family eats. If it wasn't for working out during physical therapy, I swear I would have gained ten pounds by now.

"Do you need gas?" Daphne asked from the passenger seat once I pulled into a 7/11.

"No, I'm buying you condoms," I say as I park at the entrance.

"I thought guys bought condom."

"That's the problem, too many girls leave it up to the guy to supply birth control and then blame it on the guy when they end up pregnant. If you don't want babies, always be prepared," I unbuckled my seat belt, grabbed my purse from the backseat but leaving my crutches, I walked into the gas station with Daphne behind me.

"There are so many, how do you know which one to buy?" she whispered behind me.

"They're all pretty much the same, if he does it right, you won't need the pleasuring ones, and the different sizes is really just an ego boost," I said as I grabbed a regular pack of condoms and then proceeded to the snack aisle.

I dropped the box of condoms along with three sticks of Slim Jims, a bag of Hostess chocolate covered doughnuts, a bag of sour cream and onion chips, king-sized Reese's, and a Red Bull all onto the counter. The older girl behind the counter smiled at me when she picked up the box of condoms. "Smart girl. Too many idiot girls leave it up to the even more idiotic boy."

"I told you," I said to Daphne.

I dropped Daphne off in front of A.J.'s house after promising her to call me if she wanted me to come and get her then handed her the box of condoms. "Keep these in your purse."

She took one out of the box. "Keep the rest, I don't want mom to find them. She doesn't snoop through your things. Tell me where you put them so I know where they are."

I nod and give her a brief hug over the center console before watching her knock on the door and driving off to Bobby and Frankie's apartment.

*

I gave up on studying. I was only fooling myself that I was actually going to study, even if Daphne were here, I would still probably end up vegging out on all things bad for me and watch Showtime. And that's what I was doing now, flipping through the movie channels while alternating between taking a bite of doughnut and Slim Jim, when someone knocked on the front door.

It scared me; no one was supposed to be knocking. I looked through the peep hole to find Graham staring at the door. I took a deep breath before opening the door.

Graham looked surprised to see. "Is Bobby here?"

I shake my head. "They went to Florida, they didn't tell you?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot. I need something that Bobby borrowed from me. Can I come in?"

I hesitate but eventually I open the door wider and allow him inside. I watch as Graham goes back into Bobby and Frankie's bedroom and reemerge moment later without his borrowed item. "I couldn't find it, I'll just wait until Bobby comes back, no biggie."

"Okay," I say awkwardly.

"Okay," Graham says back but doesn't move. So I move into the kitchen, ignoring his presence, to get a glass of water.

Graham followed me, his eyes drilling into mine until I finally give up. "Please leave," I say after setting the glass in the sink and lean up against the counter.

"I broke up with Jenna."

"I didn't ask you to do that."

"You didn't ask me to do anything."

"I know, I just wanted to make that clear."

"I'm sorry," he offers.

"Yeah, so am I," I say eventually.

Graham lunges at me, taking my face in his hands and capturing my bottom lip between his lips. It takes me a moment to process what is going on before I pushed him away from me. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm sorry, it's just," Graham is unable to finish his sentence. I watch him as he folds his hands behind his head and look up at the light hanging down from the ceiling.

"It's just what Graham?"

"It's your fault."

"My fault? What did I do exactly?"

"You make me feel this way and think this way."

"And how do you feel and how do you think?" I laugh, mocking him.

Suddenly, like the previous attack, Graham presses his body into mine, my head craned back to look him in the eyes. And then I feel him, pressed against my stomach. That's how I'm making him feel. "They aren't thoughts you should have about your best friends little sister, or a student," leans down to whisper in my ear.

I was completely struck, I didn't know what to do, but just like I had told Daphne, instinct took over. I moved my head until our lips found each other. Graham wasted no time, following my lead, taking my pony tail into one of his hands; he yanked lightly on it, releasing my mouth from his. His lips trail down my exposed neck. He nipped and sucks until her got to the one spot on my collarbone where there is a circular scar. Graham placed small, gentle kisses on the new skin before working to my other collarbone then back up my neck and finally reaching my waiting lips once again.

I allowed my hands to roam Graham's body; feeling the muscles of his abs that were hidden beneath his cotton tee shirt. I could feel his heart beating fast; I was making it do that. I smiled against his lips, tugging on the hem of his shirt until it was up and over his head and lying on the floor.

I did the same to him as Graham did to me, trailing kisses down his neck, sometimes grazing my teeth along his skin causing goose bumps to rise in my wake. I placed kisses all the way down until his heartbeat was beating underneath my lips.

Graham's hands are on me now, finding the hem of my own top to pull it over my head. I watched as it landed in a pile along with Graham's tee shirt. His eyes stared down at me hungrily. I bite down on my lip, not realizing how badly that I wanted this as well.

"Bedroom?" I whispered.

Graham nodded, picking me up, my legs wrapping his waist; he carried me into the spare bedroom. He deposited me onto the bed, following me down, capturing my lips with his again. My hands traveled down his torso until they reached his belt buckle. I hated belts, I hated them taking them off, and they were always in the way. Graham laughed against my neck as my fingers fumbled until finally I had the damn thing unbuckled and his jeans unbuttoned and unzipped.

"Stop laughing, I hate those damn things," I say once I find his lips again while pushing his jeans down until they got caught on his shoes.

"Yes ma'am," he chuckles while toeing off each shoe before kicking his pants to the ground.

Graham grazed his fingers around the edge of my leggings, where the fabric meets the skin. He smiles, hooking his two index fingers and sliding the soft material down my thighs and tossing them to join his jeans.

I let out a gasp of air when I feel soft kisses on both of the scars on my stomach, then a line of kisses on the long scar on my thigh.

"Do you have protection?" I barely got out as Graham continued to kiss my body.

Graham let out an aggravated sigh. "Bobby's got to have some."

"Frankie has an IUD, I doubt they use condoms. I have some in my purse," I tell him.

Graham looks at me, stunned. "Why do you have condoms in your purse?" He asked sternly.

I laugh, "Why are you jealous?"

"Yes, now why do you have them?"

"Calm down," I kiss him. "They aren't mine."

"Whose are they?"

"Really? You really want to know?" Graham nodded. "They're Daphne's."

"What?" He said angrily. "Why does Daphne have condoms for you to keep in your purse?"

"Why do you think?"

"Daphne's having sex? She's not allowed to have sex. Where is she now?" Graham sat back on his heels.

"With A.J."

"She's having sex right now?" I nod. "Well she ruined it. I can't have sex now, thanks Daph," he said sarcastically.

I laugh, sit up and cup Graham's face in between my hands to kiss him softly. He deepens the kiss but then pulls away. "We should talk things out before going any further."

Graham nods and he gets up to put his jeans back on, tossing me my leggings, but I don't put them on right away. He leaves the room, I assumed to get the rest of our clothes, and I was right. I do slip my top on as soon as Graham hands it to me.

"So," he says waiting for me to begin.

"So," I start. "We need to set up some rules if this is going to continue."

"Do you want it to continue?" he asks laying his head down on one of the pillows.

I look down at him confused but Graham remains focused on the ceiling. "Do you?"

"A very, very small part of me is telling me that this is a bad idea. That you are a bad idea," he finally tilts his head so our eyes meet. He reaches out for my hand, I offer it to him. "But the rest of me really wants this. And the good is outweighing the bad."

"I want this too."

"Good, so we both want this. You're officially my girlfriend," Graham smiles a funny, lop-sided smile.

"Now to the rules," I say and we begin laying out the ground rules and the dos and don'ts for the both of us. The number one rule being that nobody finds out and the second major rule being nothing can happen during school.

I'm dating Bobby's best friend; my gym teacher, someone who is eight years older than me. But all of that seems so small when we're together. Right now, we're just two people who desperately love the other one's company.