Suffocation.

Tonight is the night that Bobby and Frankie return home; it's also the night of Melanie's winter dance recital. But for now, Daphne and I lay in on the spare bed in the guest room, in the state of being half asleep and consciousness.

She had returned to Bobby's a little after lunch, A.J. dropping her off on the way to work. I watched as she gave me a ridiculous smile from my spot on the couch.

"Did you guys talk?"

Daphne nods excitedly. "It was amazing, oh my God."

"Want to tell me about it?" I laugh.

She nods excitedly again, taking a seat close to me on the couch, folding her feet underneath her. "We ate dinner first; he made me dinner even though I had already ate. He's a terrible cook and burnt the spaghetti sauce and the noodles were mush but it was so cute because he got embarrassed. I knew that he was just as nervous as was, so I decided that we're both smart, logical people, I mean we discussed the pros and cons of our relationship before making it official, so why couldn't we discuss having sex?"

"That is what I was trying to tell you," I say.

"I know. So we talked and I told him my issues and that I was extremely nervous because I don't want to make a fool of myself, and he laughed at me! And that did make me mad, but he explained that he laughed because there was no way I could ever make a fool of myself. But I found out that even though he wasn't a virgin, he was still nervous because," she took a deep breath, barely able to contain her excitement. "He said that he's liked me ever since I was in his group of new freshman, when the sophomores get to show us all around before school starts. But he never acted on those feeling because, he used the word 'powerful' but I'm not powerful, that he assumed that I would never go for someone as mundane as him!"

I go to say something but Daphne ups her index finger to stop me. "And that's not even the best part. He was all like, 'I know this is cliché but I really think I love you.' he said he loves me! I didn't even care if it was cliché; all I could think about was that we were wearing way too many articles of clothing."

I laugh loudly. It was impossible to sit here with a straight face as sweet, innocent, smart, little Daphne talked about not being able to have sex fast enough. "So was it satisfying?" I ask as my laughing fit dies down.

"We did it like four times, and it was very satisfying all four times," Daphne says with her eyes wide.

"Damn, so he did have protection? Did you guys even sleep?"

"He had a whole drawer full but he liked that I brought one, and we barely slept. Oh my God, Lennon," she says throwing herself back onto the couch. "We went to his bedroom and we first did it there, then again just because. But we got hungry, so we went down to the kitchen for me to make something, but we forgot about the door and had sex up against his fridge! Then we ended up in the family room, on the couch. Sex is my new favorite thing, I feel so like liberated. Thank you," she says to me.

"Why are you thanking me? You should be thanking A.J. he obviously knows what he's doing."

"For talking to me, making me a little bit less afraid, for inviting Allen to that party that you drug me to and made me kiss him. I know that I'm not allowed to say that I'm glad you're here because you're only here because your mom died, and that would be insensitive, but I am happy that you're here."

A warm sensation washes over me and I almost want to cry, but I don't. Instead, I pull Daphne into a tight hug, showing her that despite what happened I am happy that I was here too.

As we pulled away from each other Daphne continued, "I wasn't looking forward to you and Toby coming to live with us, like I was upset. I didn't want two new people taking the attention away from me. I know that's selfish, but it's true. Bobby was always getting in trouble when he was younger, now he's getting attention because of the wedding and that takes up most of Mom and Dad's time, and Melanie is the baby so of course she gets a lot of attention, and I'm just over here, working my butt off trying to impress everyone, but no one cares. Then you and Toby come in and that's all Dad can talk about. So it made me feel even less important."

I chewed the bottom of my lip; Daphne was really in the mood to share her emotions. "But you're definitely not what I expected. And I don't have many friends, I think they're intimidated by me, so it's really nice to have family that has time to notice me, " she finished with a small smile.

I didn't know what to say, so I settled for a small smile. I was glad that I had Daphne too. I never had many friends back in Huntsville either. It's nice to be able to share stories with someone who understands you.

*

Melanie danced nervously around the kitchen, using the edge of the counter as a ballerina bar. I pick at the lint on my heart sweater dress as I watch her swirl and extend her leg into the air.

Daphne same into the kitchen, balancing on one foot while putting a red flat on the other foot. "Mel, mom wants you to put your first outfit on now so she can do your hair when we get there."

Melanie nodded and raced upstairs to change into the first of the three dresses she has to wear tonight just as Bobby, Frankie, and Graham walk through the front door. I smile as soon as I see them, as soon as I see Graham. We haven't talked in two days, and I was nervous to see how we were going to react to each other.

"I thought you guys weren't going to come in until later tonight," Daphne said taking turns hugging the three of them.

"We got an earlier flight to see Melanie's recital," Bobby said.

"How come you guys go to all of Melanie's things but you never come to mine?" Daphne pouts.

I can see her jealousy, but I venture back to my room where only moments later Graham enters behind me. I gave him a shy smile before allowing myself to sink into his arms.

"Hi," Graham breathed out quietly.

"Hi," I murmur into his coat covered chest. "I didn't know that you were going to come tonight."

"Yeah, your dad mentioned to me a few weeks ago that Mel was going to have a recital, so I decided to come."

"So it has nothing to do with wanting to see me?" I joke, leaning me head back to look him in the eyes.

"It has everything to do with wanting to see you," he lowered his lips until they were pressed firmly against mine. "I should probably go back out there; I just wanted to give you a proper greeting first." Graham kissed me again before slipping out of my room and down the hallway to join the rest of them in the kitchen.

We had to take two cars, Dad and Denise with Melanie and Toby in my dad's SUV and the rest of in Bobby's. Graham offered to sit in the back with Daphne and myself because Frankie has been complaining about having an upset stomach caused from motion sickness.

Graham moves his arm to rest it on the backs of the seats, finding the bare skin on my neck to caress with the tips of his fingers. Even at the recital, then the lights dimmed and the red curtains opened to show the dancers, our hands met between the two auditorium seats.

Dinner was worst of all of it. Everyone sat at the same table, smashed together. Graham's hand traveled up and down my thigh, making slow circles against my red tights. I moved my hand to push him away but he captured it, interlocking our fingers together.

In front of everyone, we were showing some sort of affection, but they were all too oblivious. I was so afraid of being caught, but this was too easy.