Suffocation.

"Who is she?" I ask with our bodies still pressed up against each other, lips just on the verge of touching as we lay together in Graham’s bed after hasty, ‘I miss you’ sex.

"Lauren? She's nobody?" Graham nuzzled our noses together.

"Did you sleep with her?"

"Want the truth?"

"No, lie to me," I say sarcastically, pushing away from him so I can see his face.

"Yeah, we slept together."

"Any others?" Once the question leaves my eyes, Graham looks down. "How many others?"

Graham rolls his neck; the cracking sound breaks the uncomfortable silence. "A different one every night of the week," he finally says quietly.

"Jesus Christ, Graham!" I say, I hope he's joking but I know that he is not.

"We were broken up," Graham begins to defend himself. "I was sad and fucking meaningless girls is how I stop being sad. I'm sorry, I didn't think that we'd end up back together."

I know that I have no right to be mad at Graham, he's right, we were, and we are broken up. He made that perfectly clear when he didn't even try to plead his case to Bobby. He made it clear when he didn't try and sneak back into my room and tell me everything would be okay. He made it clear when he had a new girl in his bed every night of the week.

"We're not back together, Graham."

"Don't be stupid, Lennon."

"Don't call me stupid," I spit out.

Graham sighs loudly. "Then why are you here?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," I shrug.

"Why are you here, naked in my bed?"

I glance down at my nude form, quickly scanning the room for my uniform. "It was a moment of weakness."

Graham laughs loudly, pulling me back into bed with him before I have a chance to put any of my clothing on. He nuzzles his face into the crook of my neck and I allow him to dance his fingers across my bare back, trailing down to grip my bottom, pulling me even closer to him.

"I love you, you know?" her murmurs against my chilled skin.

"I know," I whisper back.

We sit for a moment, entangled in limbs and sheets in the middle of the bed until we hear the door open and close, signaling Lauren's return. I knew that this moment was over, but I didn't want to say goodbye again. But I did. With a sigh I collect my clothes, quickly putting them on and straightening my skirt before placing a lingering kiss on Graham's lips and exiting his room.

I drive back to school to pick up Daphne with tears brimming my eyes but I don't dare let them escape; not yet anyways. Daphne is waiting for me, fingers fumbling with the end of her blazer as I pull up.

She opens the passenger door and climbs in with a small smile that didn't reach her sad eyes. I hated myself for yelling at her, for saying all those horrible things to her in front of everyone in the cafeteria.

"I'm sorry," I exhale. "I would never tell Dad about A.J."

"What's going on?"

"Like you said, everyone's been waiting for me to explode," I lie with a shrug.

"Yeah, but what made you explode? You were fine a week ago."

I worry my bottom lip trying to think of a decent lie to tell her, our lives are so intermingled that she would know if I told her something generic like school.

With a sigh I decide to give her vague details. "I started dating this guy not long after getting here."

"Do I know him, is he from school?" She questions.

I nod because she does know Graham and he is from school, technically. "But we had a messy break up a week ago."

"I didn't think you were the type to get all emotional over a guy."

"He wasn't just a guy. He made me feel like the Lennon I was before everything happened. I wasn't just Lennon, the girl who got shot and almost died and is now living with her estranged father and his perfect upgraded replacement family. I was just Lennon, the girl who is slightly awkward and listens to records and has red hair."

"Upgraded replacement family?"

"Yeah," I chew onto my lip as we pull into the driveway. "That's what I called you guys. Like my dad traded in his used Honda for a shiny new Bentley that comes with all the bells and whistles."

"Do you still feel that way? Is that why you started dating this guy, because you think we're Bentley's?"

I shrug my shoulders. "Yes and no. I just didn't feel like I fit in. I saw how well Toby was adjusting and how he was coping with everything and I just didn't feel that way. I thought that I was literally red headed step child. And Graham helped me see that I wasn't."

Daphne's eyes go wide as she stares at me over the top of the car once we've gotten out of her car. I quickly realize my mistake. "Graham as in Graham?"

I shake my head quickly. "No, another Graham."

"I don't know any other Graham's and I'm pretty sure there aren't any that actually go to our school," she says. Of course she would know that they're no other Graham's at our school. "You've been seeing Graham?"

"You can't tell anyone."

"I won't but, wow. I didn't know he was the relationship type."

I shrug my shoulders. "He was with me. He told me he loved me at Bobby and Frankie's wedding."

"Really? Graham has never told anyone that and actually meant it. Did he say it to try and sleep with you, is that why you guys broke up?"

"No, he meant it, and I meant it when I told him."

Daphne follows me into my bedroom, flopping onto my bed as I walked into my bathroom to change out of my uniform. I reappear from the bathroom dressed in a purple tee shirt and pajama bottoms. Daphne is staring at me intently, clearing not done talking about the Graham situation. I hated myself for allowing his name to slip out in conversation, but then again it's nice to talk about.

"So guys love each other?" I nod to answer her question. "Then why did you guys break up?"

I lay down next to Daphne, looking up at the ceiling instead of facing her. I could make up some bogus lie at this point and she'd believe me, but the cat is out of the bag so I didn't see the use in lying. "Um Bobby kind of caught us in the middle of something."

"Oh my God, he walked in on you guys having sex!" She exclaimed, clamping her hands over her mouth. "Is Graham dead, is that why he hasn't been to school?"

"No, he's not dead," I say with a smile. "Bobby terminated their friendship as well as terminating our relationship."

"Have you talked to either one of them recently?"

"I went to go see Graham once I found out that he hadn't been to work. I talked, or yelled, at Bobby the day of my doctor’s appointment."

"And?" she urges on.

"Graham and I aren't ready to let go yet."