Suffocation.

Christmas morning. It was my mom's favorite holiday. She may not have always been able to give us the most expensive gifts but it was never about that. Christmas was about Mom, Toby and I cuddled up on the couch watching the animated version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas and take Christmas cookies until we were green in the face.

But now it was different. I was positive that I had more gifts underneath the large, professionally decorated Christmas tree than I ever had in my life, but the only present I ever really wanted, I could never get back.

I showered and got dressed in another oversized sweater and maroon jeans, incredibly slowly even though we were instructed to be in the formal living room by nine and it was pushing five minutes after.

A knock came from my bedroom door but I didn't bother to answer it. The knocker came in anyways.

"Lennon?" I was surprised to see that it was Graham.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm headed to my mom's place."

"And you just wanted to stop in my room and say Merry Christmas?" I question looking at him oddly from my position on my bed.

"I get Bobby and the rest of the family gifts every year and it wouldn't have been fair if I didn't get you and Toby something. So here you go," Graham pulled a small wrapped box out of his coat pocket and put it in my open hands. "I got Toby an Alabama football jersey cause I know he played football back home, but I wasn't sure what to get you. I know that you'd have anything to have your mom back and believe me, I'd love to make that happen so I got you this instead."

I slowly peel back the wrapping paper to find a velvet box. Inside was a beautiful locket. "Oh my God, Graham!" I opened the locket and was pleasantly surprised to see my mother's face. I put the hand that I wasn't holding the locket with, up to my parted lips. Tears flowed freely down my face. "You made me cry again," I laugh.

Graham takes the locket and secures it around my neck. "You look exactly like her, she was beautiful."

"She is," I whisper, turning to see Graham's sad expression.

"She'll always be with you, just over heart."

I wrap my arms around Graham and breathe in the familiar scent of his cologne and smoke. "After seeing you Saturday, I didn't think you had a sweet side," I joke.

Graham pulls me away and holds me by my shoulders at arms distance, "There are many layers to me Miss. Abrams, and I’m like Shrek."

"Shrek?"

"You know, cause he's like an onion. Disney references, seriously woman."

I laugh, my tears now gone even though they were happy ones. "Don't laugh at me but I've never seen it."

"I cannot even look at your face," Graham turned away from me but quickly turned back. "I'll introduce you to your lost childhood. I've got to get going. My mom will be pissed if I'm late for another family function."

We walk out together and hug goodbye in the foyer before departing. The family is busy opening up their gifts to notice that I've entered the room. I was feeling so low this morning but with Graham's present I felt remarkably happy. I tuck the locket into my sweater and join the rest of the family, taking a seat on the plush couch.

"Oh Lennon, I'm glad you finally decided to join us," Denise said handing me a few square presents to be opened.

"Sorry, I just needed a little time to gather myself," I say to her quietly.

"There is no need to hide your feelings from us, Honey. We're family."