Status: Still writing :)
A Part of the Team
Familiar faces
I walk over to the bar you can tell he is not very pleased to see me.
"Hey look I am sorry for flipping out for some reason I have been doing that a lot."
He looked at me and with sympathy he said
"in an old French novel when something horrible happened there has to be a positive reaction unless you keep the bad inside then you can never heal. I think that for you to be happy or look happy with anyone else you need to get the weight off of your shoulders. I could tell the second you walked in your not proud or confident in yourself. But there is something special in the fact that you know what to do but you won't. You enjoy being around the team because you don't have a childhood so if you don't move on and deal with it your going to keep replaying the past. You learn knowledge from others you don't have to just drown on your own."
The bartender tilted his head to Kris and said
"you know he lost one of his close friends. Go talk to him maybe not now but in the right environment for advice on how to move along."
Feeling a little uncomfortable I went over to Kris. But i soon realized that I never told him about my past or RaChell. As soon as I looked back at the bartender there was this oddly familiar smile creeping on his face, it was hers. I couldn't take my eyes off of him as he started to look back to normal again. I could hear someone calling my name but I couldn't stop starring wanting to see her face again.
I finally came back to reality I didn't get a good look at who was shaking me and around me but I remember seeing blurs and I said
"stay here I will be right back."
I walked outside in the freezing cold of course hitting a couple walls on the way. I found this trash can and threw up. Meanwhile I have never thrown up in my life but I used these little sanitizing wipes they had attached to the trash and cleaned up a little bit before going inside to find everyone is out of the hallway. So I go into the dining area and sit in a corner and wait for everyone to be done with their speeches. I began to fall asleep a little, then I felt someone sneak their arm around my waist and lift me up they carried me to the locker room and put some fabric under my head and used another to cover my dress and body. They didn't say anything until they left and he said
"Сладких снов"
which is "sweet dreams" in English. At this point I recognize this voice as Geno.
2 hours later
"Babe wake up."
I heard Nealsy saying over and over while shaking me. I finally said
"what's up?"
I heard Sid say
"Geno is leaving but he's taking Hope to you know. I don't know if you wanted to go back with him or what."
"Ugh I am good here I guess."
Nealsy said
"No you can't you will be here with a bunch of strangers so sorry but no."
"I am not going to ruin his night or any of yours... Oh I have an idea!"
Sid said
"if you promise it's a good one I want to hear it."
"okay so why doesn't someone take me to a motel 6 on the way to their house."
There was a silence and then a "hell no." Nealsy said
"why don't you just stay over my house and we will get breakfast at Pauly's."
"Maybe because I have no clothes to sleep in or go out tomorrow except for a dress."
"I have clothes you can wear."
"Oh great I will walk around in some one night stands clothes. "
"well you could if you wanted but they are a little dirty."
"Don't make me throw up again."
"Come on, everything will work out fine I promise.
" Deciding that I have been too crazy earlier that giving in is the best decision. Half dazed I followed him to his car and before getting in asked
"how drunk are you?"
He laughed and said
"I am in a better driving condition then you."
I surrendered my hands while saying
"I was just asking."
He unlocked the car and I went into the back. Of course he gave me a strange look and asked
"Why are you sitting back there?"
"One so I can sleep, two it won't look good if you have a chick in the passenger seat after a charity event and three if a puck bunny sees a chick in the passenger side they will not want you and hate me. So yeah I think I am good back here."
He took a deep breath and said
"what's wrong with you tonight? I don't mean to be so blunt but you don't seem like you're not you’re happy go lucky self."
I sat there in silence and I said
"I had a drink didn't I."
"You had more than one."
I took in a deep breath and said
"I don't drink. Some parts of day black out, like of me drinking. When I do I become very weird and dramatic. I know but I never get a drink. Its always work, clean, sleep,work, pack, and leave week after week. I mean you guys have wives and girlfriends and I have Mr. Clean."
We both chuckled at my Mr.Clean reference and he said
"do you want a boyfriend?"
"I don't know. With all the traveling and work-"
"Oh please one more boy is not going to throw your life off. What I would be worried about is him being a good person. Don't worry about us, take care of yourself first."
"Hey look I am sorry for flipping out for some reason I have been doing that a lot."
He looked at me and with sympathy he said
"in an old French novel when something horrible happened there has to be a positive reaction unless you keep the bad inside then you can never heal. I think that for you to be happy or look happy with anyone else you need to get the weight off of your shoulders. I could tell the second you walked in your not proud or confident in yourself. But there is something special in the fact that you know what to do but you won't. You enjoy being around the team because you don't have a childhood so if you don't move on and deal with it your going to keep replaying the past. You learn knowledge from others you don't have to just drown on your own."
The bartender tilted his head to Kris and said
"you know he lost one of his close friends. Go talk to him maybe not now but in the right environment for advice on how to move along."
Feeling a little uncomfortable I went over to Kris. But i soon realized that I never told him about my past or RaChell. As soon as I looked back at the bartender there was this oddly familiar smile creeping on his face, it was hers. I couldn't take my eyes off of him as he started to look back to normal again. I could hear someone calling my name but I couldn't stop starring wanting to see her face again.
I finally came back to reality I didn't get a good look at who was shaking me and around me but I remember seeing blurs and I said
"stay here I will be right back."
I walked outside in the freezing cold of course hitting a couple walls on the way. I found this trash can and threw up. Meanwhile I have never thrown up in my life but I used these little sanitizing wipes they had attached to the trash and cleaned up a little bit before going inside to find everyone is out of the hallway. So I go into the dining area and sit in a corner and wait for everyone to be done with their speeches. I began to fall asleep a little, then I felt someone sneak their arm around my waist and lift me up they carried me to the locker room and put some fabric under my head and used another to cover my dress and body. They didn't say anything until they left and he said
"Сладких снов"
which is "sweet dreams" in English. At this point I recognize this voice as Geno.
2 hours later
"Babe wake up."
I heard Nealsy saying over and over while shaking me. I finally said
"what's up?"
I heard Sid say
"Geno is leaving but he's taking Hope to you know. I don't know if you wanted to go back with him or what."
"Ugh I am good here I guess."
Nealsy said
"No you can't you will be here with a bunch of strangers so sorry but no."
"I am not going to ruin his night or any of yours... Oh I have an idea!"
Sid said
"if you promise it's a good one I want to hear it."
"okay so why doesn't someone take me to a motel 6 on the way to their house."
There was a silence and then a "hell no." Nealsy said
"why don't you just stay over my house and we will get breakfast at Pauly's."
"Maybe because I have no clothes to sleep in or go out tomorrow except for a dress."
"I have clothes you can wear."
"Oh great I will walk around in some one night stands clothes. "
"well you could if you wanted but they are a little dirty."
"Don't make me throw up again."
"Come on, everything will work out fine I promise.
" Deciding that I have been too crazy earlier that giving in is the best decision. Half dazed I followed him to his car and before getting in asked
"how drunk are you?"
He laughed and said
"I am in a better driving condition then you."
I surrendered my hands while saying
"I was just asking."
He unlocked the car and I went into the back. Of course he gave me a strange look and asked
"Why are you sitting back there?"
"One so I can sleep, two it won't look good if you have a chick in the passenger seat after a charity event and three if a puck bunny sees a chick in the passenger side they will not want you and hate me. So yeah I think I am good back here."
He took a deep breath and said
"what's wrong with you tonight? I don't mean to be so blunt but you don't seem like you're not you’re happy go lucky self."
I sat there in silence and I said
"I had a drink didn't I."
"You had more than one."
I took in a deep breath and said
"I don't drink. Some parts of day black out, like of me drinking. When I do I become very weird and dramatic. I know but I never get a drink. Its always work, clean, sleep,work, pack, and leave week after week. I mean you guys have wives and girlfriends and I have Mr. Clean."
We both chuckled at my Mr.Clean reference and he said
"do you want a boyfriend?"
"I don't know. With all the traveling and work-"
"Oh please one more boy is not going to throw your life off. What I would be worried about is him being a good person. Don't worry about us, take care of yourself first."