I'd Rather You Hate Me For Everything I am, Than Ever Love Me For Something I'm Not

I don't remember falling asleep, but I woke up the next morning around nine. I got up and showered, putting back on yesterdays clothes grandma washed for me. I went down stairs to see Brian sitting with my grandma on the couch.

Is he still ignoring me?

“Morning sleepy butt!” he grinned.

Guess not!

“Shut up Mr. Beauty Rest!”

He playfully glared before we laughed, making grandma give a grim look.

“Well, thanks for the cookies Helena I'll take Vivi here of your hands for the day.”

“Be careful with her Brian.” she seemed to have a double meaning.

“Always.” he stood and gestured to the door.

We left and I felt eyes on me as we got into his car. I looked around and saw a tan guy with thick eye brows and dark hair watching.

Brian grabbed my hand and pulled me in the car, I shut the door. He seemed in a rush as we pulled off the side of the road. We headed back to Huntington.

“Where are we going Bri?” I asked.

“To your house. You're uh, going to be staying somewhere else for a while.”

“Will I be able see you?” I asked hopefully.

He frowned and shook his head. “No.”

My heart squeezed. “Why?”

He shook his head, looking like he was at war with himself. We were silent the entire way to the house mom and I shared. Zack moved in with his friends a few years ago and mom refused to let me move out.

I pouted in the seat and waited until Brian loaded all my bags that were mysteriously packed into the car. He pulled out and we began back to Costa Mesa.

“Where exactly am I going?”

“To where you need to be.” he sounded pained.

“If this is about the beach I'm sorry and I won't do it again!” I pleaded. I really, really like Brian and now he's sending me away.

He sighed. “This isn't about that. Well, not really. I just...look this isn't easy for me either. You think I want to send you somewhere I can't see you? No way! I'll miss you like crazy Vivi, I'm sorry it has to be like this but it does. It's important that you stay where I take you and don't fight anything.”

Don't fight anything?

“That's all I can say.” he finished, fingers tight on the steering wheel.

I frowned and tears pricked at my eyes as we pulled up at a big house. It was gray in color with black trim, a big lawn and there were no other houses nearby. It was surrounded by the woods.

“Where are we?”

“Your new home. I think you'll like it here. And...I'll really miss you Vivi...I...really like you.” he kissed my cheek and heat flooded my cheeks, heart speeding up. My door opened and I was plucked from the car, my things were unloaded by I don't know who. All I could do was recall what Brian's soft, thin lips felt like on my skin and replay it over and over.

Before I knew it I was led in the house by a tall guy with brown hair and tattoos. Hey! It's the guy who pulled the ginger dude back!

“Hey, I'm Austin.” he smiled.

“Uh...Viviannah. Why am I here?”

He frowned slightly, then led me to a living room with a shiny floor, a long leather couch, a big flat screen TV with surround sound and every game system I could think of. The walls were a pale green with white boarders.

“Well, you're here because your mate has found you.” he said.

I stopped walking. “My what?!”

“You're mate. You know, soul mate and all that? The one with the 'key to your heart.”

I gasped and covered my chest, how did he know I said that?
“I was there, creeping really. When you were at the beach with that man.”

“Brian.”

Austin scowled at me for a moment.

“Well, Brian then. You saw someone with me that day, do you remember?”

“That ginger dude who was giving me a death glare?”

He smirked. “Yeah, him. What did you think of him?”

“Honestly he seemed like a giant, bull headed douche bag.”

He gave me a confused look.

“What?”

“How do you feel?”

UGH! “My grandma's been asking me that for days! I feel fine damn it!” I groaned.

“Well, you'll meet the guys later. They took your things up to your room and...kitty kitty kitty!” he called.

My cat Lacey came walking slowly down the hall into the room. Her hair white as ever and eyes orange.

“Lacey!” I beamed, picking her up and cuddling her to my chest.

“I'll take you to your room, Viviannah.”

I nodded and followed Austin up the stairs. He took me to a room with gray walls, purple boarders, a white fuzzy carpet, a large queen size bed with matching sheets and pillows, a black desk and matching dresser too. A flat screen was mounted on the opposite wall. My bags littered the room.

“Come down whenever.” he offered a smile before leaving the room. I set Lacey down and she at once jumped onto the windowsill and lay down. I unpacked with thoughts of Brian swimming in my head.

When I came down, due to my rumbling stomach, it was about noon. I found my way to the kitchen to see a short, slightly pudgy man standing on front of a pan on the stove. He had brown hair, and wore a tee shirt and jeans.

“Hey.”

He turned. “Hi, I'm Aaron.”

“Viviannah.”

He nodded. “I know this is confusing right now, but it'll get better.”

What the hell is he talking about? It has to be more than me having to stay here, he said it with such sincerity.

I nodded, taking a liking to this man. “Do you want a grilled cheese?” he asked.

“Please.”

He nodded. I sat at the table and waited, soon he came over with two grilled cheese's and two bowels of tomato soup.

We ate in silence.

He waited for me to finish, then took care of both our dishes. “Thank you, Aaron.”

The man offered a shy smile and nodded.

I went to the living room to see a clean shaven man sitting on the couch with tan skin, long dark hair and bushy eyebrows. He looked from the TV to me, eyes flicking up and down a few times making me really uncomfortable. I took a step back, getting ready for my badass act.

“Quit staring, fucking pervert.” I growled.

He arched an eye brow.

“I'll stare if I want to.” he replied cooly.

“The hell you will!” I stomped over and stood in front of him. “Keep your filthy eyes off me! You creepyass motherfucker!” I hissed, standing over him.

He rolled his eyes and I was about to slap him when I was grabbed from behind. Long tan arms lifted me and carried me away from him.

“Leave her alone Phil!” The man ordered, then set me down. He looked a bit like this Phil, but he was taller, his nose was smaller and he had a little facial hair. “I'm Valentino by the way, or just Tino. You're Viviannah I take it?”

I nodded.

“Well, nice to meet you.” he smiled, shaking my hand. His brown eyes were warm and welcoming, kinda like Brians.

No. No. I won't think about Brian. He dropped me off here with strange men because I fucked up our friendship. I was dumb to even consider that he might like me that way. Clearly, it was a friendly cheek kiss in the car, because no man like Brian would ever want someone like me. I'm too plain. My legs are too long, arms to thin, boobs too small (Almost a C though), feet too big. I don't deserve Brian. Never have, never will.

Well shit. I'm not doing a very good job not thinking about him am I?

“You too.” I said, smiling at him. I herd Phil leave the room.

I felt someone getting close. I don't know who, or how but I knew someone was coming.

Suddenly, in walked Mr. Ginger douche bag. He gave me elevator eyes not in a pervy way like Phil, but in a judgmental, disapproving way. I felt my bitch mode activate.

“Whatcha staring at ginger?!” I hissed, turning on him. Tino took a half step back in surprise.

“Nothing worth staring at.” he mumbled, rolling his eyes and walking out.

That stung. Not that I'd ever let him know.

“That's uh...Alan.”

“Well he's uh...a jackass.” I replied.

He gave a half grin for a moment before giving me a confused look.

“Why is everyone looking at me like that today?!” I whined, now that ginger left the room I felt normal again.

“You don't know?”

“Would I ask if I did?”

“I don't know.”

We were silent before breaking into laughter for a moment. Tino is just like Zack's friend Johnny, a good listener and like a brother. I just met him, and I already can tell we'll be good friends.

“But seriously. Why does everyone expect me to feel sick or something? Why am I here? Why can't I see Brian? Why didn't you let me slap Phil?!” I said, frustrated.

“I can only answer two of those. Austin can answer the rest better than I.”

I nodded for him to go on.

“You can't see Brian, who I'm guessing was a man at the beach and in the car, because you're to be with another. And I didn't let you slap Phil because...uh...that wouldn't have ended well.”

“He's a woman beater?”

Tino bit his lip. “...Phil...plays by his own rules. He would likely warn you before hand but I can't promise he'd never hurt you.”

Great. I'm living with a perverted woman beater. Fucking dandy.

“Where's Austin?” I asked, moving on.

“Probably in his room. Diagonal from yours on the left.”

I nodded and headed back up the stairs hoping I didn't run into Phil again.