I Hate When They Call Me Snow White

As we approached the cottage we were greeted by the mouthwatering scent of beef and potatoes. The heart smell wafted towards me and my stomach let out a violent grumble which alerted of my presence.

Doc laughed before turning at me.

“Have a seat, dear, the food will be ready soon,” he said before looking back at his stew.

I sat down at one end of the table and noticed a few of the dwarfs started snickering.

“What’s wrong?” I questioned.

I looked at their amused expressions before I heard a thundering reply from over my shoulder.

“That’s my seat!” Grumpy shouted.

I know I should’ve been nicer considering that they were allowing me to stay with them, but I felt like if I let Grumpy walk all over me now he’d never take me seriously.

“And?” I said while raising my eyebrows.

His face turned molten red and his cheeks puffed out. He looked like he was getting ready to explode. I bet if he stayed that way a moment longer, steam would come out of his ears.

“Grumpy, your heart! Remember what the physician said,” Doc said worriedly.

This caught my attention and I looked at the angered dwarf.

He looked even angrier and a flush of embarrassment came over his face, making him look purple.

“There’s nothing wrong with my damn heart,” he roared.

It got a quiet as the other men looked at Grumpy with worry and I started to feel bad about goading him.

“Here, Grumpy, take your seat,” I said kindly.

I hoped to he would take the seat and we could move past the sudden awkwardness that had enveloped us all, but it seemed to make thing worse.

“I don’t want the bloody chair. I’ll eat outside. Away from all of yah,” He seethed.

With that, he took a bowl of stew and a hunk of bread and headed out of the cottage, slamming the door behind him.

“I’m sorry,” I said, mostly to Doc.

Doc smiled tightly.

“It’s not your fault. He’s a proud fool, but he’s our proud fool, you see?” he said looking anxiously at the door.

I nodded. I wanted to ask about his heart condition, but I didn’t think it wise. I didn’t know if dwarfs had particularly acute hearing. So I squashed my curiosity.

“The food looks delicious,” I said smiling.

Doc seemed to appreciate my change in conversation because he launched into a story of how his mother used to teach him to cook.

As Doc began to speak the others began to chime in with stories of his botched up attempts at her recipes.

“And the whole cottage almost burned down,” shouted Bashful.

I laughed until my sides hurt. For all these dwarfs were, they were endearingly funny.

“So,” I began after I wiped the tears from my eyes, “What is it that you do?”

Instantly the mood sobered and I felt a prickle of apprehension on my neck.

“Err...what do you mean?” Doc said cautiously.

I stared at him steadily. His usually clear eyes were now guarded.

“Occupation-wise, I mean,” I said carefully.

I watched each of their reactions carefully. Stealthy’s face was blank, as usual. Sneezy sneezed extra focused on the handkerchief in his hand. Bashful’s eyes darted around the room, looking at everything except me. Sleepy’s eyelids were drooping shut, but he was frowning. Doc looked grim, and Dopey was mashing a piece of bread in his ear.

“We are...merchants...per say,” Doc said slowly.

“Per say?” I raised my eyebrows questioningly.

“We’re bandits,” said a voice behind me.

Of course, Grumpy made his presence known again

The other dwarfs, minus Stealthy, looked shocked at his blunt statement of truth.

“Bandits?” I said again.

It seemed at this point I was only capable of one word answers.

“Yes, bandits,” Grumpy muttered.

As I continued to stare at the men around me who had taken me into their home, I felt a myriad of emotions threatening to explode.

“Who do you steal from?” I managed to say.

“The Queen,” Doc said, after a moments pause.

“The Queen?” I said, looking at him with wide eyes.

It was quiet then. Technically that was treason. Not that I cared so much about that. I mean, technically I was a fugitive.

“Why?” I asked then.

They seemed to notice that I wasn’t particularly alarmed by their...trade.

“As you may have gathered, Armie,” Doc began softly, “None of us have anymore family. We’re essentially o-orphans,” his voice broke on the word.

I felt my eyes water.

“I understand,” I said, my voice and heart were both heavy.

After we had finished eating, we adjourned to the area in front of the fire. Some of the men sat on the floor while a few others and myself sat on hard wooden stools that were littered around the space. Doc continued to tell the story of the Queens treachery.

It was tragic. They had all lived in the same village where the only source of jobs was diamond mining. It was a dangerous job, but because of their short stature and iron strength they were prime candidates. Although they had all worked in the same mine; they had never spoken until the day the Queen attacked.

She thought the dwarfs had given her fake diamonds. She was furious and came to the village herself. The head of the village was Doc’s father, which made sense considering Doc’s role in the group. Annis demanded that they admit their treachery.

Doc’s father, who was retired from the mines at this point, sensed that the Queen would take harsh measures to secure his submission. So he sought to appease the Queen by allowing her to take whatever diamond she wanted and leave them in peace.

But the Queen was known for her cruelty, and this was no exception. She demanded that Doc’s father go down in the mines and fetch her the biggest diamond. This, of course, led to outrage among the town. Doc’s father was loved and respected among the villagers and they knew he was too old to venture down into the treacherous mines. As if it weren’t terrible enough, the Queen gave him an hour to return or she’d massacre the whole town.

Doc couldn’t finish the story after this. The pain in his voice and eyes was so acute that I felt my eyes tear up. I reached out and grasped his hands and looked him straight in the eyes.

“Your father was a brave man,” I said sincerely.

“Thank you,” Doc said thickly.

It was quiet for a moment. As I gathered the rest of the story. These seven dwarfs were the only survivors of their village. Their circumstances were cruel, but they found sanctuary among each other and their new home.

“So it’s revenge?” I questioned, before received a few surprised glances.

“Your thievery,” I clarified.

“It’s justice,” Grumpy said suddenly.

He had been surprisingly quiet during the telling of their past misfortunes. He was looking at me threateningly now, as if I was prepared to denounced them traitors and run to the nearest guard.

Looking around at the rest of the men, they all had similar postures of tension. I decided it vital to tell them my position on the subject of their crimes.

“Can you teach me?” I asked.

If the situation wasn’t quite so serious, I think I may have laughed at their expressions. To say they were surprised would be an understatement.

“Teach you?” Stealthy said with raised eyebrows.

He looked as his he couldn’t decide whether to laugh or send me to the looney bin.

“Yes, teach me how you…steal,” I tried to think of a better way to describe what they do, but I guess being blunt was the best way to go.

“Armie, do you mean to say that you wish to become a…” Doc began and faded off with a look of extreme apprehension and confusion.

“I suppose that is what I mean,” I said with humor before I continued, “what is it you do with all that you steal? Do you keep it or spread it to the poor?”

“We’re not Robin Hood, lady,” Grumpy snorted.

“We keep the money,” Sleepy began, “but we also trade with others in the forest, it’s a bit of a…” drool dribbled down his chin as he dozed off.

“We help stimulate the economy,” Doc said.

I couldn’t help but laugh a bit.

“Do you help people?” I questioned seriously after I was done being amused by Doc’s righteousness.

“Yes, we do help those we can,” Doc said just as seriously. He began to explain how exactly they “stimulated” the economy. Who they traded with and for what. How the money was used. If they money hadn’t originally been the result of theft, it was quite an impressive institution they created.

I suppose now I could have come clean about my identity and ensure them of my complete lack of loyalty to the Queen. It could have secured my position here and given me some leverage as an inside source.

I opened my mouth to confess when Dopey shot up from his chair and ran to the window and began barking madly.

“Dopey, come back here,” Doc called after him.

“Is there something out there?” I said worriedly.

If guards found me now, it would all be over.

“Nobody comes out this far into the woods,” Bashful mumbled while looking up through his eyelashes.

“Why not,” I asked, making the mistake of looking him straight in the eyes.

He burst out laughing and flung back on his back and covered his face again with his sleeves.

“Too many dangerous creatures out here,” Stealthy answered.

“Dangerous creatures? Like what?” I asked with alarm.

To this Stealthy smirked.

“You’re looking at them, sister,” he said smugly.

I turned and surveyed the current circumstances of the room. Doc was trying to restrain a barking Dopey from crawling out of the window, Bashful was rolling around on the floor muttering, “She looked at me,” over and over again while laughing, Sleepy was still drooling down his chin and had made a substantial puddle in his lap, Grumpy was staring at the fire with his usual displeased expression, and Stealthy was leaning back on his chair cleaning his fingernails with his knife again.

“Yes,” I said dryly, “Quite dangerous, indeed.”

“Why would you want to risk your life for a bunch of strangers?” said Grumpy viciously.

I was quiet for a moment. I wanted to help them because I too had been wronged by the Queen. My life and my family had been ripped from me. I didn’t want the throne, but I didn’t want Annis to have it either. I was my father’s daughter. I wasn’t a princess. I was a warrior.

“Because I know what it’s like to have everything you had taken from you,” I said quietly before continuing, “The Queen is a cruel woman, she inflicts torturous pain onto her subjects. The people who depend on her for the state of their life,” I said passionately.

I stood up and looking at each of them in the eye. Even Dopey had ceased barking.

“I will stand by you all unwaveringly. Regardless of what happens,” My voice rang strong and sincere through the room.

It was quiet.

“Well then,” Doc began softly, “Somebody fetch this girl a sword.”

I beamed with delight at them all. I couldn’t wait to begin.