Home Is in Your Arms

When consciousness returns to me I smile and roll over to curl up next to Peeta. The problem though is that Peeta isn't there. Opening my eyes, I find the space next to me cold and empty. Sitting up and looking around, I see a folded piece of paper on the bedside table. The paper has my name written on it in sloppy scrawl. I pick it up and open it.

Freya,

Effie isn't happy about you not getting up for breakfast but I convinced her to let you sleep after your... stressful day yesterday. When you wake some Avoxes will be in to clean your room.

When I get done training I would like to talk. I'm sorry, and I need you to hear me out.

See you tonight,
Peeta

With a sigh I put the letter in a drawer. I guess Peeta and I should talk; I can't avoid it forever. Throwing my legs over the side of the bed, I stretch and hear a few joints pop. I suppose I should use the bathroom and shower before getting my day started.

"Ew." I mumble as I stare at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. My eyes are extremely puffy and my face is blotchy, streaked with dried tear stains. Strands of hair poke out in every direction, some spots matted, from tossing and turning during the nightmare. I'm surprised Peeta wasn't repulsed by me when he and Katniss came in.

I basically drown myself in the shower for a half-hour, taking special care to soak my puffy eyes and scrub my face. A knock on the door makes me jump.

"Come in!" I shout.

"Freya, why weren't you at breakfast?" Effie says as she steps into the bathroom. I poke my head out of the shower.

"I'm sorry, Effie." I say apologetically. "I had a nightmare and was awake most of the night. I didn't get much sleep until Peeta came in to comfort me."

"Oh he did, did he?" Effie replies with a smirk. She plops herself onto the toilet and crosses her legs.

"Not like that!" I practically squeal.

"Mhm." the escort replies, apparently not believing me. "Anyway, I spoke to Haymitch. Tonight when Peeta and Katniss return we will sit down and start forming a more definitive course of action for the rest of their training and when they enter the arena. Isn't it exciting? To finally have a pair that stand a chance?"

Turning the water off, I wring my hair out then grab a towel. I wrap it around my thin frame and step out; Effie doesn't even bother to look away. The woman is excited about getting down to business and even though I want to be excited with her, I just can't. Not when someone I care about is being taken away from me.

"Yeah, it's great." I reply halfheartedly. With a simple touch I dry my hair and slip into the bedroom.

"I know you're worried about Peeta." Effie calls from the bathroom. I don't respond and just listen instead as I pick clothes from my closet. "I really think he could do this, Freya. He's a strong, intelligent boy. And handsome to boot!" I chuckle and shake my head. "Between you, Haymitch, and myself, we'll get both of our tributes some sponsors."

Just as I'm about to pick up a pair of comfortable pants Effie appears in the doorway.

"Put those unsightly things back." she commands. I look at her in confusion. "Let's have a girls' day. We could have lunch, go shopping, and scout out some sponsors. Surely we lovely ladies could hook a few in, hm?"

I can't help but laugh at Effie; the woman wants to go shopping even though we both have too many clothes already. She's just trying to make me feel better though, I can tell.

"Sure. We can do that." I say with a smile. The flamboyant woman claps her hands joyously.

"Wonderful!" she sings. "Get dressed in something nice. This will be great!" Then Effie bounces out of my bedroom.

Fifteen minutes later I step into the main room in a lavender knee length sundress and brown ankle boots. My hair is pulled into a fishtail braid and my makeup is light. Effie smiles when she sees me and compliments me as usual. Before we leave I see three Avoxes enter my room, presumably to clean it from last night's incident.

Effie and I spend the rest of the day out and about, going shopping, having lunch, talking to everyone we can to pull in sponsors, and even spending time with people who are my fans. Some even ask me to sign things or take photos; I didn't think that many people even liked me, but being one of the youngest victors in history brings a lot of attention to me, apparently.

Regardless of my distaste for the Capitol and the people in it, being out with Effie helps take my mind off of everything. I did enjoy myself as we shopped for jewelry and talked over tea. I even got something small for Peeta, which Effie gushed over, of course.

When we arrive back to our suite we still have twenty minutes until Peeta and Katniss are expected to return. Haymitch sits in the tv room, Caesar Flickerman ranting on about how he predicts tomorrow's private training sessions will go, but the mentor on the couch isn't listening. Instead, he seems lost in thought, staring past the television.

"Did Caesar suck your brain out while we were gone?" I tease.

"Very funny." Haymitch replies, adverting his gaze to me.

"Then what's got your attention?" I question as I throw myself on the couch next to him.

"They have their private sessions tomorrow." he says.

"Okay?" I reply, confused. "And?"

"Just wondering how they'll do."

"They'll be fine, Haymitch." I assure him. "If they get a good score, great. If they don't... Well they won't get many sponsors but they're smart. Clever. And they're strong; both physically and mentally."

Haymitch doesn't respond, losing himself in thought again. The realization hits me that, for once, my fellow mentor isn't drunk. He's able to concentrate, his eyes aren't glossy, and the odor of sweat and liquor isn't radiating off of him. I must say, I'm proud of Haymitch.

"I hope you had a good time with Effie today." he finally says, standing from the couch. "Because until this is over, we're cracking down. Hard. I need you to be the mentor that I think you can be."

The look in Haymitch's eyes is so intense, like a fire is lit behind them, that I can't help but believe that he's actually serious for once. I stand from the couch as well, looking him in the eye.

"Of course, Haymitch." I reply. "Every time I've set foot outside of this building I've talked to potential sponsors. Even when you thought I wasn't doing anything, I was. I'm trying."

"Good." he says. "I know you can be a great mentor, Freya. Now is the time to prove that. Not just to me, but to everyone." Haymitch puts his hand out. "I think it's time we stopped arguing and started working together."

Shock courses through me as I look at his outstretched hand. To see Haymitch making an effort to put aside our differences for the sake of our tributes truly touches me. Even hearing him say that he thinks I could be a great mentor! I'm absolutely blown away.

Grasping his hand with my tiny one, I look up at him with a small smile. We shake and Haymitch smirks at me.

"I'm still going to hate you when this is over." I joke.

"Aw, and I thought we could be friends." Haymitch replies sarcastically. We release hands and he goes to fix himself a drink. I can't be disappointed; when someone's as addicted as he is you need to take baby steps. "Go get changed." he tells me. "Dinner will be served when they get back."

I do as I'm told and retreat to my room. When I open the door I smile, seeing it as pristine as it was before I destroyed it. Even a new plush bedspread has replaced my previous one. A new remote sits on my bedside table, and when I open the drawer I'm relieved to find my note from Peeta still there, untouched.

When I hear voices in the sitting room I quickly change into a pair of comfortable shorts and a tank top. As I walk to greet the tributes I release my fishtail and run a hand through my wavy hair.

"Good evening, tributes!" I say happily. I expected today to be a mess but it turned out much better than I thought, so I'm in a great mood.

Peeta, who was talking to Effie, turns when he hears my voice. He starts to smile but when he, not-so-discreetly, looks me up and down his smile falters. I can feel my face heat up but I quickly try to recover.

"So, how was training?" I ask as I make my way to the dinner table.

"Fun." Katniss replies with a roll of her eyes.

"Have you made any allies?"

"Or enemies?" Haymitch adds.

"No and no." Peeta says.

"What did you do today?" Effie asks.

"Can we get changed first and talk about it at dinner?" Katniss asks, very obviously frustrated. I frown but don't make my displeasure known.

"Of course, of course! How rude of us!" Effie says. "Go on and get changed then come back out for dinner. I'm sure the two of you are famished!"

Katniss and Peeta leave to change and within minutes we're all seated at the dinner table. As we eat we discuss training.

"What did you do today?" Haymitch asks.

"Tied some knots, climbed rope, attempted to throw some knives." Peeta says.

"He also threw some weights." Katniss adds.

"I thought I told you two to not use your personal skills." Haymitch growls.

"The Careers were looking at him like he was a joke." Katniss says. "He needed to get them to back off. And it worked."

I see Haymitch grip his fork and I know he's getting annoyed. Before he blows up I intervene.

"If you're going to show off what you can do, don't use your full potential." I say. "Give them a taste, but leave them thinking." Peeta, who is "conveniently" sitting next to me, brushes his leg against mine. Chills run through my body and I have to hide the goosebumps on my arms.

"Tomorrow will be the time to show off." Effie chimes in. "Because the Gamemakers are the ones who really count."

"When you go in there be nice to them. Greet them, show them what you can do, if they speak to you respond politely, then thank them for their time when you're done." I say.

"They'll call the districts in order, starting with the boys. So unfortunately for you, Katniss, you'll be dead last." Haymitch says.

By the end of dinner it becomes obvious that Peeta and Katniss are irritated. As soon as we let them free they hurry into their rooms. I stay in the dining room with Effie and Haymitch to have a few drinks and to help Haymitch, who is mildly angry from the attitude Katniss gave, calm down. When it gets late I say goodnight and excuse myself.

When in my room I pick up my brand new remote and set the window to show a mountain view, similar to that of home. Then I program some soft music to play as I get ready for bed. I'm not exactly tired but I want to relax in my new fluffy blankets. I don't know if Peeta still wants to talk but I won't bother him about it right now.

To fully enjoy my new blankets I decide to sleep in my bra and underwear. I drop my shorts and as I pull my tank top over my head I hear a voice.

"Freya?"

As I turn my head to see who's there, Peeta poked his in the room. When he sees me he immediately retreats.

"Oh I'm so sorry! Sorry!" I can't help but laugh as he stumbles over his words from embarrassment. Before I can even register it I find myself saying,

"Shut up and come in, Peeta."

I'm surprised at the words that I blurt out; it must be from the wine I had at dinner mixed with my good mood. However, I can't bring myself to change my mind because a little piece of me wants him to see.

After a moment's hesitation the boy finally enters the room. He shuts the door behind him, keeping his eyes down.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were changing." he says. "I should've knocked. I don't even know why I didn't." His last sentence makes me wonder if maybe he wanted to see, too.

"It's okay. Seriously." I say with a smile. Moving to the bed, I crawl underneath the covers. Even without looking I know his eyes are on me. "Do you still want to talk? Come sit with me."

Peeta sits on the edge of the bed and I pull the blanket, which is as comfortable as I expected, up to my underarms. The boy seems deep in thought for a few moments and I watch him. His brows are knitted together and he's looking down at his folded hands. He looks handsome when he's concentrating.

"I'm sorry." Peeta begins. "I thought about everything you said. And the more I thought about it, the worse I felt. I understand why you're so upset, Freya. I'm jumping back and forth with my emotions towards you and Katniss. I'm not doing it consciously, but I did realize it.

"Freya, you are more important." Peeta turns and looks me in the eye. I can see intensity, sincerity, and affection, but I can also see sadness and guilt. "You are the one I want to fight for in that arena. You are the one I want to come home to. You, Freya, are the only one that matters to me. You have to believe me when I say this. I want you, not her."

As much as I tell myself that it's not polite to stare, I just can't take my eyes off of the boy in front of me. He returns the gaze, growing more and more uneasy by the second I want to say something but I'm so astonished by his words. Something deep down tells me that I should be weary, that I shouldn't forgive Peeta so easily, but I ignore that little voice because I do believe him.

Peeta sighs and looks away, getting ready to stand.

"I guess I'll just go then."

But I can't let him go. I don't want to see him walk out, thinking his words meant nothing. So when he stands I reach out and grab his hand. He turns to look at me and I'm out from under the blankets in a flash, on my knees on top of the bed, and I smash my lips into his.

Peeta's taken back at first but he quickly relaxes, his lips melting into mine. He snakes his arms around my bare waist and pulls me against him to deepen the kiss. His hands on my flesh send sparks of electricity through me and I have to suppress a shudder.

He pushes into me and I let myself fall back, our lips never breaking apart in the process. Peeta moves his lower half between my legs and a warm, tingly sensation ignites, as if a soft fire has been lit there. His tongue brushes across my bottom lip and I open my mouth to allow him in. I inhale his intoxicating scent and it only makes the sensation between my legs worse.

Not being able to keep my hands to myself any longer, I slide them up Peeta's shirt. My fingers trace over the lines of his abdomen, beautifully sculpted from years of hauling flour in the bakery, then move up to his chest and around to his back. His hands explore my body as well, gingerly moving down my sides to the curve of my hips, where he then squeezes. I involuntarily buck my hips into him from the pleasure.

The motion seems to set him off because suddenly the kiss becomes more intense and I feel something hard in the crook of my thigh. I smile into the kiss and run my nails down Peeta's back. He breaks our lips apart and lets out a cross between a sigh and a moan as he plants feverish kisses across my jaw and down to my neck.

"I want to be with you." he mumbles between kisses. "You and only you."

"I know, Peeta." I pant. "I want to be with you t- oh!" I can't finish my sentence because Peeta bites down on my neck and I feel my panties become wet.

Taking control of the situation, I roll us over so I can straddle him. I pull his shirt up and he finishes taking it off. He throws it to the floor and it quickly becomes forgotten as I take my turn to kiss and nibble on his neck. He thrusts his hips into mine and I return the gesture, moaning into his skin.

When Peeta's fingers play with the hem of my underwear my heart leaps in excitement. However, I'm not sure about whether or not we should do that and so, as much as it pains me, I stop him.

"Do you think we should do this now?" I ask, my breathing labored. I don't have to explain what I mean by "this" because the look in his eyes tells me he already knows.

"I was thinking the same thing but I couldn't help myself." Peeta replies. He wipes some light sweat from his forehead and pecks me on the lips. "I want to be with you. Like really be with you, but I don't know if we should do it now or if we should wait."

Peeta's words make me blush, which I find kind of funny. This boy is staring at my almost naked body, he has felt almost all of it, he has made me moan and made my panties wet, but hearing him actually say he wants to be intimate with me making my blood rush to my cheeks.

"Why don't we wait?" I ask as I run the backs of my fingers down his temple. "You've got a lot to deal with right now. We both do. And besides," I add. "I want my first time to be a little more special."

"Okay." Peeta says, stealing another kiss. "I don't want to leave though."

"You don't have to." I reply with a smile. Getting off of Peeta, I lay next to him and snuggle with him as he puts his arms around me. "Stay with me tonight. I promise I'll wake up with you this time." He chuckles and pulls me closer.

"I really am sorry." he says after a brief silence.

"I know." I respond. "I forgive you."

"I want to train separately from Katniss." he suddenly mumbles. I'm honestly a little surprised.

"Why?"

"Because I want you to believe me when I say I only want you."

"But I do believe you, Peeta." I say, lifting my head to look at him. "If you want to train with her, it's okay."

"It's awkward between us anyway." he replies. "Nobody sees it because we try to do as we're told in front of everyone. But when we're alone we barely speak to each other."

With a sigh I lay my head back down. I feel bad that things are stressful for Peeta, to say the least, but a large part of me is happy that I don't have to worry about him being with Katniss every second of every day.

"Alright. I'll talk to Haymitch tomorrow. Let's get some sleep. You'll have your session with the Gamemakers around lunch time and you'll need to train up for it in the morning." I say.

I pull Peeta under the covers with me and, after I turn the music off, cuddle into him. He plants a kiss on my head and I smile at the comforting feeling it brings me. Right before I fall asleep I swear I hear him say something about love, but I'm too far gone to ask.