Sukeban

“Miss Sasazaki, the principal would like to see you.”

Mami’s body jolted up from where it had been leaned hunched over her desk. She blinked her eyes hard to clear the blurry vision from her episode of daydreaming. She had been so worried about Haruna that she wasn’t paying attention in class and had gradually slipped into a daydream. She couldn’t help it; the way she was turned away from Haruna’s house last night by who she could only assume was Madoka was troublesome to her. The fact she had seen Haruna peeking around the corner almost as if she was frightened of something only made it that much more troublesome. Did it mean Haruna was hurt? Was she okay? Mami had to get through an eight hour school day before she could find that out and it was pure torture to her.

The blonde could see her teacher walk down the rows of desks and come to stop just in front of hers. He sighed softly and shook his head. Of course she wouldn’t be paying attention in his class, when did she ever pay any attention? Nothing ever changed with this student.

“Did you hear me, Sasazaki?”

“Well I heard my name but that’s about it,” Mami responded with a shrug. She leaned back in her seat with a bored look as an angered look took over the teacher’s expression. He let out a calming breath, urging himself not to lose his temper with this student.

“The principal would like to see you,” the teacher said again. He turned on his heels, making his way back to the front of the classroom without waiting for a response. Mami raised an eyebrow but decided to go anyway; it beat sitting in class at least. She pushed her textbook into her bag before pushing herself away from the desk. As she went to leave the classroom, Mami could hear the whispers around her.

“Didn’t she just get unsuspended?”

“What do you think she did this time?”

“She probably got into another fight.”

“Maybe she had something to do with what happened to Hana!”

A low, guttural growl left Mami’s throat as her freehand not clutching her bag clenched into a fist. It was taking everything in her ability to not turn around and hit the nearest gossiper to her. Idiots. Every last one of them was an idiot. They all believed what they were told to believe; they all believed whatever Hana or her cronies told them to. None of them could ever think for themselves.

The blonde was slightly thankful that she was the center of their gossip though. She was used to it but a certain brunette was probably not. So far in the two days she had been back to school, she had not heard much gossip about Tomomi. Other than the occasional whisper of wonder – which was quickly silenced by a harsh glare from Mami – there was no one talking about Tomomi. She knew it wouldn’t stay that way. Once the brunette came back to school, she knew the whispers and stares would begin. She just prayed Tomomi would have enough of a backbone to handle at least that.

She shook her head, muttering a curse word under her breath as she walked out of the classroom. She closed the door loudly behind her, a clear sign to the others in the classroom that she had heard them and she was not pleased. Mami huffed softly and made her way to the principal’s office.

When she got there, the secretary didn’t really bother to speak with her. She knew why Mami was in the offices, she was always in the offices for the same reason. For causing trouble. The secretary simply pointed to the principal’s door, silently telling Mami that she could head in.

The blonde did just that. She walked to the back, pushing open the door. When she looked inside though, her body froze. A cold sensation washed over her and sent a shiver through her entire body. It made her almost want to drop her bag and leave the office as quickly as she could.

Sitting across from the principal was Mami’s mother.

Seeing her mother sitting in the office was not something Mami wanted to see. The bruises may have since long faded but Mami’s back began to ache just from remembering the last time her mother had been called by her school for something she did wrong. It would happen every time her mother got called by the school; it would never fail to make her mother anger. Mami could always remember the hits she would get for getting into that much trouble. The last time was no different. Her mother had started pushing her around until she fell into the stairway railing, the intricate design of the banister digging into her back and leaving dark bruises along her lower back.

“Thank you for joining us, Sasazaki. Please sit down,” the principal said. Mami gulped, mentally shaking off the fear that had crept into her body.

She stepped forward, taking a seat next to her mother who could only stare at her with a disapproved look. Mami didn’t dare look over at her mother; she was too busy wondering what she had done this time. She hadn’t caused any trouble since she had been back, despite the fact that she would really like to punch a few people in the gut. This couldn’t possibly be for jumping Hana; the suspension had already punished her for that. Mami was at a complete loss with this.

“Now, Mrs. Sasazaki, I want to thank you for joining us as well. I know we call you here an awful lot,” the principal said, addressing her mother. Her mother laughed softly, waving her hand absentmindedly.

“Please call me Kumiko, Mrs. Sasazaki is so formal,” she said. Mami rolled her eyes at her mother’s statement, leaning back into the chair. “It’s not an issue being called down here, I’m always here to try and help Mami… Although, I wish she’d just stop causing trouble.” Kumiko ended her sentence with a sigh for effect, which only irritated Mami more.

“As do I, Kumiko. But that is what we’re here to talk about. I want to give Sasazaki an ultimatum, one that will hopefully push her to become a better student.” Mami raised an eyebrow at the principal’s words but still didn’t say a word of her own. She knew better than to have a smart mouth in front of her mother, it never ended well for her.

“An ultimatum? What did you have in mind, sensei?” Mami cringed from the intrigued way her mother had said that. Whatever this ‘ultimatum’ was, Mami was getting the feeling that she wasn’t going to enjoy it. She never did enjoy when the principal and her mother conversed.

“I’m sure we all know how low Sasazaki’s scores are. They were poor at the beginning of the year but they’ve dropped quite drastically over the last few months. Our school has a wonderful reputation for being one of the best in Tokyo so it is troublesome that we have a student with failing marks.”

“I couldn’t agree more, sensei. I’ve tried my best to get Mami studying but she’s ever so stubborn. She won’t listen to me.” Mami glanced over at her mother, glaring at the way she had her hand against her chest to feign her hurt. What a liar her mother was. Her mother didn’t care to help her with school. Her mother didn’t care at all. “I would be more than open to any suggestions you have.”

“I must admit that my suggestion is a bit unconventional but I fear it may be our only optional.” Mami gulped, a new fear rising in her. This wasn’t going to end well for her. “At the end of each year, we have our students taken examinations that will test if they are ready to move up. In Mami’s case, she will need to take a test to ensure that she is ready for third year.”

“I’ve never been told, sensei, but… What happens if a student fails their examination?” her mother asked.

“They are removed from this school,” the principal responded simply. Mami’s body stiffened, her eyes widening at the words. There was no way this could possibly be good. “We have a strict policy. We usually do not give second chances. The students pass the examinations or they do not continue in our school.”

“Oh my… That is so troublesome; Mami barely passed her second year exam.”

“This is true and I decided to take mercy on her. I should not have let Sasazaki continue in this school for second year with the score she got but I thought she would get better; I thought she could go back to how her entrance exam score looked. I was wrong though, Sasazaki has only declined. This is where my ultimatum comes in.”

“We’re listening,” Kumiko confirmed. The principal took a deep breath, looking over at the teenager who was staring at him in bewilderment.

“If Sasazaki does not pass this exam with a good score… She will not be allowed to continue to third year.” Mami’s body froze completely, her breathing stalling in her throat. “A barely passing score will not suffice. Sasazaki must prove that she has the capability of getting an average or above average score. Do I make myself clear, Sasazaki?”

“Of course!” her mother answered quickly. Mami glanced over at her to see Kumiko was giving her a warning glare. Mami grunted and slid further down in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. “I will ensure that Mami passes this exam.”

“This exam is not until the end of January so she has roughly four months to prepare for it.” The blonde in question could feel the sweat beginning to dot her forehead. She didn’t care about school, she knew she didn’t care… But she did care about her mother’s temper and this was sure to set it off. “I hope you will prepare, Sasazaki.”

“I will see to it that my daughter is well prepared for the exam, I shall not tolerate failure of the examination. You have my word, sensei,” Kumiko said and doing a half bow from where she sat in her seat. The principal nodded in satisfaction.

“I appreciate your cooperation, Kumiko. I hope that Sasazaki will improve as a student and as a member of society, I know she can be a productive and proper young lady if she so tries to be.” Mami didn’t know what made her angrier, the fact her mother and principal were talking about kicking her out of school like it didn’t matter or the fact they were talking about her as if she was not sitting right there and listening to it.

“Is that all you’ll be needing, sensei?”

“Yes, that is all I wished to talk about. You have my clearance to take Sasazaki home for the rest of the day if you wish to.”

“I would be pleased to take her home, I feel as though we do need to have a talk,” Kumiko confirmed.

“Of course,” the principal said and pushed himself out of his chair. Mami’s mother rose as well, beckoning for her daughter to get up too. With a bit of hesitation, Mami agreed to rise, not seeing a point in rejecting the idea. “I wish your daughter the best.”

“I appreciate the concern, sensei.” Kumiko bowed to the principal before turning to Mami. “Let’s go, sweetie.” Mami cringed from the use of the pet name; that was enough for her to know that she was in for it when they got home.

Her mother and the principal exchanged their last goodbyes before Kumiko turned to leave. Mami followed on her heels, her hands clenched tightly around the strap of her bag and her eyes on the ground. Why was this happening? She knew her scores were low but she never imagined the school kicking her out for them. She never imagined the school kicking her out at all; it had never been a reality before. It was certainly not a reality that Mami had ever considered.

The blonde couldn’t stay trapped in her thoughts for much longer before her mother gave her a hard push, her body colliding with the lockers. The sound of the metal rattling blew through the hallway but Mami knew it wasn’t enough that anyone would hear. No one else was in the hallway but them. The blonde snapped her head to the side, her eyes narrowing at the older woman who stood in front of her.

“What the hell, mother?” Mami sneered out in anger. She pushed herself into a full standing position again from where she had been leaned against the lockers, never letting down her harsh glare.

“You listen to me, Mami. This is serious now; it’s not one of your petty games you play with your stupid little friends. You are facing expulsion, do you have any idea what that could do to your future? You’re on the road to becoming nothing; you’re on the road of failure. If you fail this exam, you’ll be nothing more than a high school dropout and I will not have a dropout for a daughter.”

“And just what does that mean?” Mami nearly faltered when she saw the deep and dark glare her mother had given her for her tone. Her tone had probably just made this entire thing that much worse for her.

“It means that if you fail this exam then don’t bother coming home again. This is my ultimatum to you, Mami. I am sick of your attitude. Our family has more honor than this; we have all graduated high school with near perfect scores and have splendid jobs. You will not ruin that. Pass the exam or you aren’t welcome in my house anymore.” Mami was dumbstruck. Her mother had really just made that threat.

“You can’t just throw me out, I’m only sixteen!”

“You’re old enough to care for yourself. If you’re going to act like this then you might as well care for yourself because I will not care for a delinquent for much longer. It’s time to grow up, Mami. It’s time to change.” Mami held her breath, unsure of what to say. “Now let’s go.”

Kumiko turned on her heels and walked off down the hall. Mami gave a heavy sigh but followed after her mother. She ran a hand through her hair. She didn’t want to care about this; she had always said that she wouldn’t ever care about school. Deep down though, the possibility scared Mami. If she really got thrown out of school, what would happen to her? She had never thought about such a possibility, she always thought she’d be in school even if she never truly applied herself.

“God, Mami. Your attitude drives me to drink.” The words broke Mami out of her thoughts and the blonde let out a low and dark chuckle. She knew what those words meant.

She knew exactly what awaited her when they got home.

***

“I really don’t understand you,” her mother began as she sat the plastic bag onto the counter. Mami sighed softly, sitting down at the table and sinking down into the wooden chair.

She knew that this was just the beginning of a long winded rant about how horrible of a daughter Mami was. It’s not as if it was something that Mami had never heard before; she heard this on a weekly basis. Although, these days, it seemed like it came on a daily basis now. There wasn’t a time that went by that her mother didn’t remind her of how horrible she was.

Mami blew out a huff of air while she crossed her arms over her chest. There was a part of her that really wanted to bolt from the house before her mother’s drinking began but she knew better. She knew if she left that it would just cause more problems and should she return home before her mother sobered up, she’d just get it that much worse for leaving. It was better to just stay and face it.

“You’ve always been such a trouble child. I try and I try but you just never quit, nothing gets through that thick skull of yours. It’s like you don’t know how to be a good girl.”

Mami could hear the distinct sound of a bottle cap being popped off and her body instantly tensed as a knee jerk reaction. She knew that would be the first of many she would hear tonight, her mother always did have a habit of drinking when she was stressed. But Mami also knew that drinking wasn’t the other thing her mother enjoyed doing when she was stressed.

The blonde remained quiet when her mother’s words registered to her. Kumiko wasn’t too far off the mark with that one. Mami didn’t know how to be a ‘good girl’, but whose fault was that? Mami certainly hadn’t raised herself. With a mother like Kumiko, anyone could wonder how a child was supposed to become ‘good’ when they had such negative influences swirling around them constantly.

“You’re frustrating and you’re aggravating. You always do everything wrong and nothing seems to change that. Sometimes, Mami…. Sometimes I swear you’re such a mistake. There are times where I really wish I had listened to my parents when they said to put you up for adoption. It was stupid to have a child when I was a teenager; you’ve turned out completely wrong.”

Mami chuckled bitterly, her head bowing. She could feel the tears assaulting her vision but she choked them back, forcing them to disappear. Kumiko wasn’t worth crying over. Mami had heard those words many times over and over again. ‘Sometimes’ ended up being nearly every day, Mami couldn’t remember a time when her mother was actually happy to have had her. It was always something that she was doing wrong; Mami never could do anything right in her mother’s eyes.

“I wish you would have,” Mami found herself saying under her breath before she could stop herself. She didn’t have time to regret her words before she heard Kumiko’s footsteps storm over to her. The footsteps were followed by a loud slap resonating throughout the kitchen and a sharp stinging pain in her cheek.

“What did you just say?” her mother growled. Mami’s head snapped to look at her mother, her eyes narrowing.

“You heard me, mother,” she said, “I wish you had given me up. Maybe that way I could have ended up in a family where my mother wouldn’t hit me!”

“I hit you because you deserve it!” her mother yelled suddenly, giving her a rough shove. Mami’s eyes widened from the unexpected action as her body went crashing to the floor. She’d been unable to hold her spot when she hadn’t been expecting her mother to shove her so hard.

Mami groaned, pushing herself up and holding her upper body up with her arms. She kept her eyes down, her head bent and her blonde locks falling into her face. If any of her fellow students could see her like this, they would probably enjoy the sight. She knew they would probably gawk and laugh at the tough girl who had been knocked down by a single hit.

But this was different. Mami could fight any of her peers at any moment; she felt no remorse for most of them. But this was her mother. It was completely different. How could she ever hit her mother? Even if her mother continued to beat her, Mami couldn’t find it in herself to fight back physically. Deep in her heart, there was a small sliver of Mami that simply desperately wanted her mother’s love. That small sliver held her entire being back from striking her mother as she would any of her peers.

“You’ve always deserved it, Mami,” her mother continued when her daughter failed to respond. “You are the reason for everything. Everything fell apart when you came along!”

“How is that my fault?” Mami asked lowly. “I didn’t ask to be born to you. If I had my choice, I never would have been your daughter in the first place.”

“How dare you,” her mother growled. Mami let out a shout when she felt her mother’s fist connect with her arm, her arms giving out beneath her. She grunted softly and pushed herself back up and continued to refuse to look at her mother.

Mami knew that Kumiko blamed her for everything. This had all started when Mami was but a toddler. She could remember even as a child all the harsh words and the hits. When she was a baby, her mother would often pass her off to her grandparents. The abuse started only when her grandparents forced her mother to start taking care of her own daughter.

“Do you ever respond to anything, you stupid girl?”

Mami could feel two more hits land on her body, her arms shaking but refusing to give up. She coughed lowly, continuing to refuse to respond to her mother. What good would it do? Anything Mami said would just end up angering her mother even more.

“I don’t get you! You can’t listen to your own mother, you’re failing school, you’re always getting into fights, you’re in some stupid school kid gang, and you’re a dishonor to your entire family!” More hits followed her mother’s newest rant, further adding to the bruises piling up on Mami’s body. And just after the last round of marks had begun to fade.

“I’m a dishonor?” Mami choked out when her mother took a break from striking her. “What about you? Who is the one who always gets drunk at family socials? Who is the one who embarrasses the two of us constantly? Who is the one who is a sniveling coward of a drunk?! You hide behind your business suit and act like you’re such a decent person but you’re not. You’re the farthest thing from it!” Mami may not be able to hit her mother but that didn’t stop her from fighting back with her words. She didn’t want to hurt her mother at all; she simply wanted her mother to see where she was coming from.

“Don’t ever talk to me so disrespectfully!” Mami could feel her mother strike her in the back of the head before she felt a kick connect with her ribs. Her arms gave out again but this time, Mami didn’t have to push herself up. Her mother grabbed the back of her hair, yanking her body up. “You really need to be taught a lesson.”

Mami could feel a tear slip down her face against her will. A lesson? Mami had been taught ‘lessons’ all her life and look where it had landed her. She had only ever been taught bad lessons. Mami was so violent because it was all she knew. Solving her problems with anger and violence was the only coping method Mami had ever seen, it was certainly the only one her mother seemed to use besides the alcohol.

The blonde could hear her mother scoff before her hand left Mami’s hair, dropping her daughter’s body to the floor. Mami’s body cringed as hit after hit landed on her. She could practically feel her body bruising from the aching pain that soared through her with every strike her mother made.

After what seemed like an eternity to the crying blonde, the hits finally came to a stop. She could hear her mother mutter something under her breath. She looked up, watching as her mother walked over to grab the plastic bag before leaving the kitchen and Mami alone in it.

It took her a few minutes but eventually, Mami was able to push her aching body off the ground. She pushed her hand against the wall to steady her shaking legs, wiping the tears away from her eyes. Why did she always cry when her mother started this? It was something Mami was more than used to and it’s not as if Mami was a wimp to pain. She could handle physical pain; she got put through enough of it.

That never stopped the tears though. Every time the beatings would happen, Mami would find herself in tears for one reason or another. No matter how strong or tough Mami talked herself up, she was always weak when it came to her mother. She would always be reduced to tears by her mother.

With a heavy sigh, Mami pushed her legs forward. She would just get a bit of sleep in her room to rest her aching body before she had to go pick up Tomomi and meet with the others.

***

Mami woke with a start when she heard the loud rock ringtone blast through her room. She groaned softly, flopping back on the bed and groaning once more when the action irritated her new bruises. She reached out her hand, feeling around on her end table for her cellphone. When she did manage to find it, she unlocked it without looking at the caller I.D.

“Hello?” Mami winced from the tired and pained tone she had used. As if she couldn’t make her pain any more obvious than she just did.

“Mami?! Are you okay? Where are you?” Mami’s eyes flew open when she heard the overly worried tone of Tomomi’s voice. She sat up quickly, ignoring the pain that shot through her at the action. Her eyes flicked to the clock and she groaned again. 3:30 pm, she was a half-hour late at picking up Tomomi.

“God, Tomo, I’m sorry. I lost track of time, I didn’t even notice,” Mami said. She knew exactly why Tomomi was calling; it was simply because she’d broken her promise to come pick her up.

“Are you okay? It’s not like you to be late,” Tomomi told her through the receiver.

“I’m fine. Something just happened at school and I ended up getting sent home.”

“What happened?” Tomomi interrupted. Mami chuckled softly. There was no way she was telling that to Tomomi. There were certain things that the brunette didn’t need to know. Everything that happened today fell under that category.

“It’s not important. Let’s just say I got home and I guess I fell asleep,” Mami responded with a light laugh. “Tell ya what, Tomo. Why don’t you head on over and I’ll meet you there? If I came to get you now, it would be at least an hour because of how far I live from you and you only have so much time before we’ve got to send you home, you know? So just meet me there.”

“O-okay…” Mami knew the thought of sneaking out again rubbed Tomomi the wrong way but the two girls didn’t have a choice anymore. It wasn’t that they would run low on time; that was just a convenient lie for Tomomi. It was more that Mami didn’t know if her aching body could handle traveling all the way to Tomomi’s house and then to the meeting spot.

“Good. I’ll see you soon then.”

The two girls said their goodbyes before hanging up their phones. Mami pushed hers into the waistband of her school uniform before pushing her aching body off the bed. When she walked past the mirror hanging in the room, she glanced at herself. Even from this distance, she could see the dark purple bruises on her pale skin. They stood out pretty clearly from how dark they had ended up being.

Mami blew out a huff of air and grabbed a jacket that was hanging off the back of her chair. She threw it on over her uniform shirt before grabbing her bag and making her way down the hallway. She stopped just outside of the living room and drew in a deep breath. Mami peeked around the corner and into the small room, her body relaxing when she saw the scene.

She could see her mother laying on her side on the couch, the TV flicking in the shadowy room. This was a scene Mami would walk in on far too often; she didn’t know why she didn’t expect it now. The blonde sighed softly and walked slowly into the living room. She walked around the front of the couch, kicking aside the discarded cans.

She looked down at her mother, a sudden wave of sadness coming over her. Over time, she had tried to hate her mother for how often Kumiko would hit her but Mami never could. Mami could never find it in her to hate her mother. Really, deep down, all Mami had ever wanted was to know her mother cared for her. She’d never felt that though, she had always simply been constantly reminded of how much of a disaster child she was.

“This is all my fault,” Mami murmured softly. “If I could just be a better daughter to you, you would stop doing this to yourself.”

Mami shook her head before pushing the now discarded locks of hair out of her face. She grabbed the throw blanket draped over and arm of the couch before sliding it over her mother’s sleeping form. She patted the edge of the couch before walking away from her mother and finally leaving the house to go meet the girls.

Getting out of the house was easy. What wouldn’t be easy would be hiding the new bruises from the girls.