Tainted Love

I couldn’t figure out a paint color that I wanted. Matt didn’t know, but I had some movers come and help me take out some things in one of the extra bedrooms. It was just on the other side of the master, and it’d be close in case the baby was crying at night. I wanted a cute neutral color, but I wanted some designs done on one wall too. I’d need some painters for that though, I wasn’t extremely artistic.

Maybe a jungle design, or a forest, has some cute little rabbits and owls on the wall. Something that could be gender neutral, I just wanted something cute for the baby room. I didn’t know why I was settling in so much, the DNA results would be here tomorrow, and by then, I could be gone. But if it was negative, and Matt wasn’t the father, then I would want this nursery done soon. I guess I was nesting, only real explanation for it, even though I was barely two months along, I wanted a space for the baby. Maybe it was because this was really the only thing I could do right now, I hadn’t even spent much time in the rest of the house, just getting this room ready. The painters would be here in an hour to map the room, and discuss colors and design. I already had a few things set up in here, so they’d have to make sure that they didn’t get paint on my crib. I had picked out some adorable bedding for the crib; it was a white with pale yellow ducks all over it. I knew Jimmy would love it if he saw it.

I finally decided that I wanted a slate grey on three walls, and then the fourth wall would be a forest scene, maybe do some stars on the roof, and have a cute room. The carpet was already a nice cream color, so it didn’t have to be replaced. The crib and changing table were both black, I still needed a rocking chair, but maybe I would go pick one out when the painters left, it’d give me something else to do. The painters would be here tomorrow morning, and after that I had a few hours to kill before I had to go to the doctor’s office to pick up the results. I had picked out some clothing items, most of them were band inspired, and a few were tattoo inspired. One outfit even said “My daddy has better tattoos than you!” Hopefully Matt would like it.

I sighed before going down stairs, the painters would be here soon, and I needed to let them in. I didn’t really want to deal with all of this alone, I should have waited for Matt to get back home, or for me to find out the results of the DNA test, but I just wanted to get things done quickly.



The painters were upstairs, and I was out in the back yard, I couldn’t be around all the fumes it was bad for baby. I had went out and bought some more blankets, and a car seat. I bought some little white socks, nothing too frilly in case I was having a boy. I had also gone by a used car lot and had looked at some things a little cheaper than this Audi. If I was going to have to run, I would need money. I would need to get rid of the car Matt had bought me too. I wasn’t going to want reminders of him. I had found a cute VW Passat, it was a 2001, a little older, but it would work fine for Button and I. On the plus side, it was under eight thousand, and that would give me plenty of money left over from the trade in of this car. I could maybe find a small house, and even buy it for that price. I’d have to rebuy everything I had for the baby, plus furniture and things like that, so maybe renting was a better idea, but still, there was a way I could make this work for me.

I didn’t want to go to the doctor’s office today, I didn’t even want to think of what the results could be. I wanted to know what was going to happen with my life tomorrow. Matt would be back in about a month, and I had to think of that, and consider it all. If I left tomorrow, I’d just have to leave a note, and the key to the storage locker for him. Hopefully he wouldn’t mind having to redo this whole bedroom. I didn’t really care, it was just one way I could take some frustration out on him, he’d have to pay another couple thousand to redo everything.

I walked up into the room I had been staying in, and looked around at all the bags, everything that held the Button’s clothes, or the things I had picked out so far. If anything I could still take all of these, the diapers I had bought, car seat, and bedding, I just wouldn’t be able to take the bigger furniture. I still had my bedroom set in a storage locker back home, but I wasn’t sure if I would want to go back there. I didn’t want to explain things to Shane until I had it all figured out for myself. I didn’t want Matt to get ahold of him, and ask him anything. I knew Shane would keep my secrets, but if Matt was enough of a monster to rape me, I didn’t even want to know what he would do to get information out of someone. I didn’t want Shane to be a part of it either. Maybe I could convince him to move in with me somewhere, we could always split rent, and make it easier on both of us. Plus, I’d probably need some help in the last months of my pregnancy, and I know Shane would help me. He’d always been there for me before, he’d be there for me now.

I heard the painters packing up, and went to go grab the invoice from them, so I‘d know how much to send them, before letting them out. I had time to get ready before going to the doctor’s. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen, so I had to prepare myself for anything, I felt like I was walking into a lion’s den.