Tainted Love

I walked towards where Shane had been parked, tears streaming down my face. I felt like the scum of the Earth in this very moment, I could crawl into a hole, forget the world, and I’d be okay with it. I didn’t even know how I’d explain this to Shane, or even tell him. He’d be upset, and angry, he’d act like he wasn’t, but I knew he would be. He’d blame himself for not being there, it’d drive him crazy. I decided to run into a gas station next to the parking lot, and fix myself up. I ran through it straight to the bathroom, and locked the bathroom door. I pulled my shorts, and fishnets down, before hopping up on the counter, and cleaning my legs up, the dried blood on it was disgusting, and hard to take off, but I could do it if I put my mind to it. I grabbed for my purse the moment it started vibrating, and found my phone.

“WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?!” I clenched my eyes shut as Shane’s voice boomed from my phone.

“I got into a fight with some group of dumb skanks when I went to the bathroom. I ran to the Shell behind the venue, I’m sorry Shane, I completely spaced out on it. I just wanted to clean myself up.” I had to lie to him, it killed me to do it, but I couldn’t tell him what had really happened.

”SEE! This is why I didn’t want to fucking leave you!” I tried to fight the tears but it didn’t work out so well.

“Shane, I’m so sorry, just come and get me please?” I knew he could hear the tears in my voice, and I heard his sigh as an answer.

”Give me a minute baby girl, I need to get gas anyway, so this worked out, I guess.” He was trying to make me feel better, but I just felt sick to my stomach, I know he didn’t really know what had happened, but still, hearing that it had worked out hurt.

“Okay, see you in a few.” I hung up and scrubbed my legs off as quickly as possible. I dried them down before hopping off the counter, and taking them completely off. I slipped my shorts back up, stripping my fishnets off and throwing them in the trash. I turned and faced the mirror, noticing the swelling on where he had hit me, making me wince; I grabbed a few more paper towels, and washed my face off, fixing my makeup as much as possible. Looking at my hair I knew there was no saving it. It had been squashed, and pulled, and was just a wreck. I looked at myself, and took a deep breath. I could do this, I could go in front of Shane like this, I did look like I had gotten into a fight, but I didn’t want to look too wrecked.
I walked out of the bathroom, and walked towards the drinks. I looked out the front window, and sure enough Shane’s little Nissan was sitting at a gas pump, him standing there pumping. I took a good look at him, and realized I probably couldn’t live without him. I walked over and grabbed a few Starbucks Fraps, knowing that’d make him happy, before walking to the candy aisle, and grabbing a couple bags of Sour Patch Kids. He was entering the store when I was walking to the cashier; he just walked up towards me and wrapped his arms around my neck. I relaxed into the all too familiar body, and tried to stop the tears, but I couldn’t. I just wished I could curl up with him right now and cry as much as I wanted to, but I knew the man behind the counter was watching us.

“You want to find a Wendy’s and get a frosty?” I nodded against his chest, he always thought of ways to try to cheer me up. We separated, not before he kissed my forehead, and I walked to the counter, putting all of the things I bought to make him happy on the counter. I felt his arms wrap around me from behind, and his chin rested on my shoulder.

“Oh, for me?” I giggled slightly, and nodded. I could tell he was smiling, and knew that we were okay again, he wasn’t angry with me anymore. The cashier bagged all my stuff up, and handed it to me, before turning to Shane.

“I had the thirty in gas.” The man nodded, before taking the cash from Shane, he put his arm around my shoulder as we walked out, making sure to open the door for me. He opened the car door for me too, and waited until I lowered myself into the car, my legs were so sore, my hips were sore, everything was sore. But I wasn’t going to let him know that, that certain area of me was hurt, otherwise he’d know something was wrong. I clenched my eyes shut to hold back the tears as he walked around the car and got into the driver’s seat.

“Now, give me that Frap!” I laughed and handed him the bottle, and a bag of Sour Patch Kids, he smiled, before opening the bag and taking a handful. I smiled, and leaned into the seat, I just wanted to go home, it’d take three hours to get there, but I would be more than ready to get into bed by the time we got there. Shane turned on some soft music, probably knowing I was tired, and found the nearest Wendy’s. He pulled up and quickly ordered a medium fry, and a large frosty, handing both to me when he got them. I grinned, and dipped my fries into the frosty, scarfing it down. It did help the tight feeling in my stomach, but I’m sure I’d just be sick later.

“Stay with me tonight?” Shane just nodded, his eyes never leaving the road, I knew he would, but I still needed him to admit he would. I wanted him to stay with me, I needed to feel safe tonight, and tomorrow, maybe I’d work on getting an attack dog. Or maybe, just a dog, to bark at someone if they tried to get into my apartment.
I wasn’t sure if that’d actually happen, this was a random act in a back alley, but there was still no telling. Now every bad thing that could happen was running through my head. Plus, I didn’t know if maybe he had gotten a good enough look at me to know if he would recognize me later on. If he would come after me, after just seeing me, he could follow me back to my apartment… Who knows what would happen, I just needed a security blanket at my house, something to keep me safe.

“I want a dog.” I heard a laugh in the dark car, and smiled.

“So, get a dog then!” I smiled, and stuck my tongue out at him. He was such a smart ass, but I adored him.

“Take me home butthead!”