Tainted Love

“Are you really happy here?” I looked at Shane, he was sitting on the swing next to me, we were waiting for Matt to get back, and we had planned a huge dinner, yet again. This time to get everyone together.

“I am, I know it’s definitely weird that I just up and left, but I’m happy here.” Shane nodded, looking down at his hands. I smiled, and grabbed one of them, squeezing it softly. “I’m happy here Shane. I finally have a big family here, I’m accepted by all of Matt’s friends, and I’ve made actual friends here. But I do miss you, I miss my best friend.”

“I miss you too.” I smiled, and squeezed his hand again.

“So, decide on any names yet?” I laughed, shaking my head. Everyone wanted to know what we were going to name Button. I just had no ideas, Matt had a few, and we were looking at name books, we just hadn’t decided.

“Well, when you do, I want to know!” I nodded.

“I don’t think we’re going to let anyone know until we actually name her. I want it to be a surprise, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to tell anyone the gender, but I knew I wouldn’t get away with that.” Shane laughed loudly, nodding.

“Yeah, I’d have tried to find a way to find out. Sneak into your appointment or something, who knows.” I started giggling, and just shook my head.

“I think I’d have noticed you!” We both dissolved into a fit of laughs. I heard a door open inside the house; both dogs started happily barking, which signaled that Matt was home. I smiled as I stood up, and walked into the house, sure enough he was coming through the living room. He had a large smile on his face when he saw me, and I just opened my arms up for a hug. Matt grinned and picked me up, before walking back outside, with me still up in his arms.

“I like the way you look. Barefoot, sundress, long wavy hair, and pregnant, it’s like the perfect picture of a pregnant woman!” I laughed, shaking my head before pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Aren’t you just the sweetest?” Matt grinned, and set me back on my feet next to Shane, before kissing me quickly. I smiled against his mouth, and turned back to Shane who gagged slightly at the sight of me and Matt kissing.

“I love you both, but that’s gross!” I giggled and put my head against Matt’s chest.

“Well, you better get used to it, because this is how we are!” Matt laughed at me, as I said that to Shane. I turned to Shane with a shit eating grin on my face, but he just shot me a little glare. I giggled before sitting back down, next to him, and grabbing Matt, and pulling him in between my legs. He sat down in front of me, and I rested my head on his back, and put both of my arms around his waist.

“You guys are cute together; I guess I can admit to that.” I grinned and looked up at Matt, who looked like he was almost blushing. I giggled and pressed a kiss to his shoulder, Matt and Shane started talking about music, which I was interested in, but I was more caught up in my own thoughts.

I was really starting to fall in love with Matt, and I was hoping that he noticed that, but I wasn’t sure. I also wasn’t sure when I’d be able to tell him. I knew that he wanted to hear it, badly, but I just wasn’t ready. I was hoping that he understood that, and he seemed to, but something in the back of my mind just told me that there was a piece of him that didn’t get it. I knew I was being paranoid, but the last time I was paranoid, I was right.

I looked up at Matt and just watched him talk. He was a beautiful sweet man. The little dark stubble starting to come out on his cheeks, the deep dimples that showed as he talked, the smile that constantly seemed to be on his lips, and the sparkle in his hazel eyes. He made me feel safe, when those big arms wrapped around me, it felt like everything in the world would be alright, that deep voice that could send chills up my spine. I really loved this man, and one day I’d be able to tell him, I just wasn’t sure what day that’d be.

Hopefully it’d be pretty soon, because I didn’t know if I could hide it from him anymore.