Tainted Love

I smiled, looking down at my little girl, Matt would be here later today, but right now, I was having a moment alone with Caeli. Shane had stayed with me last night, just to help if I needed anything. I had kicked him out of here to go get some sleep early this morning though. Caeli had already been fed a few times, and she was opening her eyes just a little, as long as the light wasn’t too bright. I was just excited to see those deep blue eyes when they decided to pop out.

“Daddy is going to be here soon! You know Daddy; he has that big scary voice!” I giggled as she wriggled around some more.

“I didn’t think my voice was all that scary.” I looked up to see Matt standing in the doorway, I wanted to jump up and run to him, but he was already on his way to the bed. I scooted over as far as I could for him to sit down next to me, and when he did he held his hands out for his little girl.

“Don’t let Mommy lie to you; I don’t have a scary voice!” I smiled and watched as he held Caeli. She opened her little eyes at him, and yawned, showing off those deep dimples again. Matt’s eyes got wide, as he stared down at them.

“Well, she definitely got those from me.” I nodded, and put my head on his shoulder. He kissed the top of my head, before turning his attention back to Caeli. Her little hand was wrapped around one of his fingers, and he just looked completely in awe of her. Until she cried, then he just looked afraid. I giggled and grabbed her out of his arms, before adjusting my gown to feed her. Matt’s eyes widened again as he watched me breast feed her, before almost looking like he was in pain.

“That cannot feel good.” I giggled, shrugging, and rubbing a hand over her dark hair.

“It makes babies smart though! Plus she’ll get those adorable little chubby cheeks.” Matt grinned, and turned towards me on the bed, before slowly rubbing Caeli’s back, not sure if he’d disturb her eating.

“She’s beautiful Ary. We make pretty cute kids.” I giggled, and nodded, turning my head towards him. I grinned when his mouth met mine; I had missed that so much.

“I love you.” I said it against his mouth, only to get kissed again. When he pulled away he had quite the large smile on his face, but it didn’t last long, because Caeli started fussing again. He just looked horrified, like he had done something to hurt her. I giggled and switched her to the other side, making sure she had grasped on well before looking back at Matt.

“You know, your mom told me this is how you were such a big baby.” Now he looked disgusted, which just made me giggle. I grinned and pulled him back with my free hand and kissed him again.

“Never remind me that my mom breast fed me, ever.” I nodded, and put my head on his shoulder, loving the little moment I was having with my family.



Because I hadn’t gotten the epidural, I actually got to go home that day, which made me pretty happy. Matt would get to be there my first night home with Caeli. Everyone was pretty much giving us our space, even though we we’re all going to have lunch tomorrow, they were letting me have him for tonight.

Matt had decided he’d put Caeli down, he wanted to cuddle with her a little, he wanted to have that bonding time, so I had pumped earlier, that way he’d at least have a little bit of a bottle to give her. I was watching them on the little video monitor we had set up in Caeli’s room; he was being pretty cute with her. He was sitting in the rocking chair, singing softly to her, and feeding her. I knew she had fallen asleep, but I think he was afraid to pull the bottle away from her mouth.

I watched as he slowly stood up, before putting her down in her bassinet, he leaned close, I’m sure to kiss her head, and he walked out of the room. I’m sure he was going to run the bottle downstairs before he came back up, which gave me a moment to prepare myself. I hadn’t slept next to Matt in 3 months, and it would be a little bit of a shock to actually sleep on my side of the bed, and not be curled up on his clutching a pillow. I heard his footsteps on the stairs, and knew he was coming back to me.

“I always loved seeing you in my clothes.” I giggled as Matt climbed into bed. He had decided he’d take a page from a baby book, and feed Caeli with his shirt off, because then she could memorize his touch, and the feeling of skin against her made her feel more comfortable. I smiled and moved towards him, to curl up against him. His arms snatched me up, and pulled me on top of him; I giggled and kissed his chest quickly.

“I’ve missed you, so much!” Matt kissed me hard, and I whimpered against his mouth. I hated that I wasn’t able to have sex for at least two months, mostly because of the complications I had during my pregnancy, otherwise it’d only be a few weeks.

“I can’t do anything…” Matt nodded, and kissed me again anyways.

“I know, but I can kiss on my girl all night long, as much as I want, and I can’t be stopped.” I grinned, knowing that he was going to make good on what he said.

“You can kiss on me as much as you want baby. I am going to return the favor though.” Matt grinned this time, before turning off the lamp on the bedside table, and grabbing me. I was going to enjoy tonight, and I wasn’t going to want it to end.