Inside of Me

Throughout the concert and afterwards, Patrick had felt fine and was glad. He'd been worried about having to cancel it.

But it didn't last long.. Each morning he awole feeling ill and tired. He was throwing up each day until around noon. Pete and the others were obviously worried, but since Patrick seemed fine once noon had rolled around, they didn't really figure anything could be too wrong. Maybe he just had nerves?

"Maybe you should see a Doctor." Andy suggested. Andy kinda' played the roll of Patrick's big brother.

"Yeah.. Guess I can when we stop in the next city." Patrick sighed, taking his glasses off and rubbing his eyes. He was so tired. All the time. The thing that bothered him the most though, was that even though he'd been throwing up.. He was gaining weight. He'd gained 3 pounds in the last week and that kinda' freaked him out. Ever since he'd dropped the huge 60+ pounds, he was very strict on not gaining any of it back.

He shoved his glasses back on and blinked. "What city's next anyway?" He asked.

"Portland." Pete said, sitting beside him. "You look exhausted."

"I am." Patrick murmured. He wanted to lean against Pete, telling him he was getting worried about himself.. But with Andy and Joe sitting right across from them, he knew he shouldn't.

When they reached Portland, Pete and Patrick took a Taxi to the nearest Hospital so Patrick could see a Doctor and get some tests done.

The Doctor was a young female. She did scans, ran tests and examined him. After waiting for the results she came into the room and looked at him and Pete. "Uhm.. This is gonna' sound really strange." She murmured, looking over the papers that had the results from the tests and stuff.

"What? Is he okay?" Pete asked.

"Yeah.. He's fine.. It's just." She looked at him. "He's pregnant."

Pete started giggeling and even snorted. "What? Men can't get pregnant.." He nudged Patrick in the arm with his elbow. "Hey, Dude.. You're pregnant."

Patrick blinked a few times, confused. "What?"

"I'm serious." The Doctor said, showing them the paper.

"You're fucking joking." Pete responded, getting serious.

"No.. He's for sure pregnant... About 8-Ish Weeks, actually." She said.

Patrick looked at Pete, then back at the Doctor. "It's possible.. That men are capable of that uh.. Kind of thing?" He asked, twisting his hands.

"Yeah.. It's not common, but it does happen." She murmured.

She explained to them what they needed to know and gave them some information papers. "If you have any problems or concerns, just come in and see me." She told them.

Pete nodded and then took Patrick back outside. The singer held Pete's hand, walking slowly. The Hospital hadn't been too far from where they'd parked the Tour Bus, so they didn't bother getting a Taxi back to it.

"So.. It's mine?" Pete asked gently.

"Of course.." Patrick murmured, looking at him. "Who else would I have been having sex with? I'm not a cheater.."

"No.. I know." Pete mumbled. "Sorry.." He added. "We'll be okay.. We'll be good parents.."

Patrick stopped walking and stood infront of him. "Pete.. Hug me." He breathed, staring at him with a frightened expression.

Pete frowned and wrapped his arms around him. "Should we tell Joe and Andy?"

"They don't even know we're together." Patrick mumbled into Pete's shoulder.

"We could tell them everything, Patrick.. Then we wouldn't have to hide it when they're around." Pete suggested.

"I'm not ready to tell them.. I need time to think about everything.. I'm tired." Patrick replied.

Pete nodded and they kept walking until they got back to the bus. Patrick headed straight for his bunk and layed down. Pete told Andy and Joe that he was alright and there was no reason to be worried by the symptoms.

Patrick listened as Joe and Andy tried to get more information out of Pete, but he kept reassuring them, that nothing was wrong with Patrick.

He tried to tone it out as he lay on his back. He lifted his shirt up to look at his stomach, trying to convince himself there was a baby inside of him. He thought about all the stuff he was gonna' need to get before it was born and that freaked him out.

A few hours later they were doing their show in Portland and everything was going smoothly. They had Two songs left to perform, but Patrick desperately wanted to be finished with the show now. He was feeling dizzy and exhausted.

"We're gonna' have to cut the show early tonight." Pete told the crowd as Patrick suddenly wandered backstage.

"Yeah.. Patrick's sick and needs to rest." Andy murmured into the microphone.

Pete hurried backstage and found Patrick laying on a couch, staring at the floor.

"What is it? Are you okay?" Pete asked, hurrying over to him.

"Got dizzy.." Patrick mirmured. "I'll be fine."

Andy came over. "I thought we weren't supposed to be worrying about Patrick." He said.

"Andy.." Pete started, wanting to tell him everything.

Patrick sat up. "I just need something to eat." He said, not wanting Pete to get a chance to say anything else.

"Okay.. I'll go find some food and bring it back to the bus." Pete said, heading to go look for some local Food Chain.

Andy sat beside Patrick. "What's going on with you?" He asked, looking him over.

"Nothing."

"Don't lie."

".. I'm fine."

"Patrick.. You're very far from fine." Andy breathed. ".. You're not.. Like-.. Bulimic.. Are you?" He asked.

"What? No! Andy!" Patrick exclaimed.

"Well, I don't have any other explanation in my head." Andy muttered.

Patrick looked at him.

"Well?"

"Andy-.. I.." Patrick shook his head. "Me and Pete are together." He blurted out.

"I know."

"What?"

"Come on.. Me and Joe have known for weeks. You guys are way too close to eachother to not be a couple." Andy laughed.

Patrick nodded. "That's not all, though. I'm pregnant."

"What?"

"Pregnant.. You know. With a baby." Patrick muttered.