Losing Control

"Marisol! I told you to talk to him and you just duck your head and run into his friend. What is wrong with you? You're off your game, girl!" My friend, Melody, yells, punching my arm.
I rub the abused limb and yell back, "I have no idea! He just makes me freeze up, Mel, you have no idea!"
"Well, get your act together! Before someone else takes him to homecoming!"
"I am tr--Wait, I'm not going to homecoming."
"It's your junior year, of course you are."
"No I'm not."
"Yes you are."
"Nope."
"Yep."
"MELODY I AM NOT GOING."
"SHUT UP, YOU ARE."
"NO! THIS IS AMERICA FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!"
"I DON'T CARE! I AM THE ELDER AND YOU SHALL RESPECT ME!"
"BITCH PLEASE, YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT COMING FROM ME."
She glares at me. "I hate it when you're right."
I wink, "Nope, you love it."
"Nope."
"Yep."
"Nope."
"Yep."
"Nope."
"Nope."
"Yep."
"I WIN!"
"NNOOOO!" She falls to her knees and holds her head. "How can I be so stupid and fall into that trap?"
"I was wondering that, too, care to enlighten me?"
"Oh, uh, hey, Marisol."
The blood in my veins stops flowing and I turn around. Jordan. Tell me he didn't hear the whole conversation. "Oh, hey."
"What's up?"
"Um..." I look at Melody for help, but she's backing away slowly, about to make a run for it, "Nothing too exciting, I can assure you. Yourself?"
"Walking around."
I nod my head. "That's cool."
"Yep..." He runs a hand through his hair, a nervous smile on his face.
"Well, I have to run, I'll see you guys whenever. At least, Jordan...Marisol, I'm going to see you at my house at five sharp. Ta ta!"
Before I could grab her arm and make her drag me with her, she's gone. Dang it! "Now that she's gone...do you wanna walk with me?"
I bite my lip and look at Jordan. There's a hopeful glimmer in his eyes, even in the dim sunlight (there's never too much sun...never). Do I want to? What is he trying to do? Why am I trying to talk myself out of this?
"Sure!"
"Great. So, shall we?"

I sit on top of the park table and take another bite of ice cream from my dish. Jordan smiles at me and does the same. My heart races a little at how close he is to me. I mean, he--Whoa. Wait. My heart shouldn't be doing this. I don't even know the guy that much.
"So, what were you and Melody arguing about back there? Seemed pretty entertaining."
The ice cream catches in my throat and I try my hardest not to choke. Once I get it down, I answer, "Nothing much, we were goofing around and I tricked her into saying, 'yep'. She takes her loses very hard, poor sportsmanship."
"Uh huh. You're evil."
"One of the evilest girls I know."
"I can tell."
"I bet."
"How much you want to bet you're not?"
"Five bucks."
"Deal."
We shake hands and he laughs. "Alesha is the meanest person you know, hell, she's the meanest one I know. Rude bitch."
I did not think about that...ugh. "You suck."
"You know it."
I pull a five out of my purse and "throw" it at him. By, "throw", I mean: Attempt to throw and watch the bill fall to the ground, then have to get up and get it. In other words: A throw that failed.
"You don't really have to pay me."
"I do, we shook on it. Next time you take me to get ice cream it'll be like I'm payin' for myself."
"Oh, so you're saying that this is going to be a more than once thing?"
I smack my forehead. Oh GOD I am an idiot. "No, I didn't mean it like that, I just meant tha--"
"It's cool, we'll make it like a tradition. Every Friday we'll get some ice cream and freeze our asses off sitting on a table in the middle of fall because we'll wear t-shirts instead of hoodies or long sleeves. Sounds like a plan."
"Okay, uh, it's a plan then."
"Yep."
I sit next to him again, finishing the last bite of ice cream, and shiver as it goes down my throat. My hands are completely numb, but I don't care, ice cream is worth it. A hand snakes around me and I'm pulled into Jordan's side.
"You're cold."
Now I'm frozen in shocks, thank you very much. "Um...yeah."
"It's four, I should be getting you to Melody's."
"It doesn't matter...I can go myself. She lives like five minutes away from here."
"I'll walk you."
I pull away and stare at him. What guy offers that? "Why?"
His looks makes me feel stupid because there must be an obvious answer that I'm not getting.
"Seriously. Why?"
"Because that's what guys do...we walk girls home or wherever they need to go."
"Not around here. We do the, 'Thanks, I'll see ya,' awkward hug, then go our separate ways."
"That's sucky. Do ya'll not have class around here?"
I stand up and stretch. "Chivalry is dead." I state in a matter of fact tone.
"Not how I was raised."
"You're one of the few then."
"Come on, let's walk around and get you warmed up."
"It's fine, I'll be okay."
"No, I'm serious, whenever you move around a lot like this it means you want to move."
I stop stretching and stare at him. How did he know that?
"It's pretty noticeable. During lunch when we had the extended break, I looked over and you were fidgeting in your seat as your friends chattered away, then you got up and said, 'I cannot take this anymore, sitting around is driving me crazy' or something like that, and walked away."
"I don't know if I should applaud you for making that observation, or if I should be creeped out that you were practically stalking me."
"Applaud because I was about to talk to you then you left."
"Remember when I ran into your friend? I think his name is Jeremy..."
"Yeah." He chuckles. "That was really smooth."
I blush. "Gee, thanks, way to not make me feel anymore embarrassed than I already am."
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Continue."
"Nope. You killed the moment. I'm done."
"Please?"
"Nope."
He drops to his knee and takes my hand. People stop walking and stare at us, expecting a proposal or something. "Marisol, sweet, sweet Marisol?"
"Yes?"
"Will you do me the honors of...of...of explaining the story to me?"
I hear a person mutter, "You've got to be fucking kidding me."
"Nope. Sorry, you ruined the moment."
"PLEASE!"
"NEVER!"
He tackled me to the ground, then kisses me.

Whoa. What. What the...? DA HELL JUST HAPPENED?

I walk into Melody's house in a trance. What just happened? I'm lost.
"Wow...did you have a good time?" She asks with a wink, tossing me a water bottle.
"I'm confused."
"Why?"
"He kissed me."
She gasps, grabs my hand, and pulls me to the ground. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN? ARE YOU SERIOUS?"
I nod.
"OH MY GOD! THAT'S EXCITING! YOUR FIRST KISS!"
I slap my hand over her mouth. "SHUT UP! Your brother could hear!"
"He isn't home."
"Oh...Well then."
That's right, I lead the guys on and they never get a chance to kiss me or make a move of any sorts, really. Why set myself up for the heartbreak? No one will lay me, if they do, they're damn lucky. I don't put out (which many have found out), so they leave soon after. No big deal.
So the fact that he just stole my first kiss is...
It's something.

And the scary part is:

I don't mind it.