Losing Control

Melody squeals, apparently liking my speechless state. Jordan smiles at me nervously, rubbing his right arm up and down. My mind spins in a million directions. How could this....Why would he....
"So, Marisol, what do you say?" Melody asks, trying to cut the tension in the air.
I stare at the sign. "Will you go to homecoming with me?"--how could I say no to that? I've never been asked before, so this might be fun. I mean...What's the worst that could happen?
"Yeah...yeah, I'll go with you."
Jordan runs towards me, pulling me into one of the tightest hugs ever. I giggle a bit. Wait. NO. I cannot giggle. The last time I giggled with someone's touch was....I shudder at the thought. No. Don't go there. I cannot think about the past like this. Stop. Stop, stop, stop.
He lets me go, noticing I tensed up, but doesn't say anything, which I'm grateful for.
"Okay, well, I'll let you guys go, I have to, uh, get to my house and sleep! Yeah, sleep!"
Melody practically runs out of my apartment, leaving me alone with him. Why does she always do this? Wait...Maybe she wanted him to ask her? She seems like she likes him...
"I guess I have to spend the night here...She was my ride home."
I give him a sympathetic look and stare at my food. In all honesty I don't want to eat it, but now that he's here I guess I have to. "Sorry...she tends to duck out like that a lot."
"It's cool, I hope."
"Whatcha mean?"
"With you...Is it cool with you?"
"Yeah, yeah, it's, uh, fine. Do you need to call your legal guardian or parent to let them know?"
He laughs. "Nah, my mom's out of town for a while, so I get free roam."
"That's cool."
"Kinda, it can get boring."
"Oh."
"Yeah..."
"You want some of my food? I don't think I'll be able to eat it all."
Jordan shakes his head, shoving it closer to me. "Nah, I'm not hungry."
"That's weird because I'm not anymore."
"You haven't had a thing to eat all day, though, according to what Melody tells me."
"I pick at a few things..."
"Like what?"
"I had like twenty fries today."
"Marisol, you need to eat."
"I do not."
"Unless you're some sort of super human with the ability to live off of beverages alone, then you need to."
I smirk. "What if I am?"
"I'd like proof."
"Baby, I'm living proof."
He rolls his eyes, clearly not buying it. "When was the last time you went shopping?"
"Uh, I dunno, why?"
"Judgin' by your cabinets, I'd say not in a while."
"Exactly. You're point?"
"Melody and I were thinking..."
I groan. Here we go. Melody didn't think me moving in here was a good idea from the start, so this should be interesting. "Go on."
"We were thinking that there are a few underlying problems here that need to be address--how you take care of yourself being one of them--and want to help you."
A laugh escapes my lips. "Help? I don't need help. I'm perfectly fine, and there's nothing that you two will be able to do, or say, that will make me think differently. I'm living on my own, we all have to at some point, and am doin' an okay job. Sure, I need to get some food, but I have more than someone on the streets. Sure, I had to get another job to keep this nicer apartment, but you don't see me complaining. Oh, and if I don't eat two days out of the week, I won't die. I've been doing this for a few weeks now, so I'm used to it. I don't need help."
"You sound like you rehearsed this."
"It always helps to have something prepared so you have the upper-hand a bit."
"Smart. But, you do realize that you not eating throws off your body, hurting it, and I'm not saying that you can't provide for yourself, but I believe you are choosing not to. Why do I believe that? Well, judging by the way your weight has been decreasing drastically, the lack of food in your cabinets, and the way you're staring at that general tso's chicken, it's safe to say you are anorexic, or were and still can't kick some of the habits."
"You are a well prepared opponent. Well done."
"Thank you. Does my statement hold any water?"
"I like that line, but no, it doesn't."
"Where's your proof?"
I hold my finger up, then get up and grab my notebook that I keep in my room. I open it to page six and show it to him. "I'm simply monitoring my calorie intake, but not restricting it in anyway whatsoever, if I ever skip a meal or more, it's because I've already consumed my calorie goal for the week."
"That sure is somethin', but I'm still not buying it. According to Melody, you had anorexia two years ago, and that you have began to do some of the same habits that you did back then. So, like I said, either you are or you were and still can't kick the habits."
I roll my eyes. "I'm not going to argue about this. I need to finish this project."
"Opting out of my questioning is your only defense tonight because you think I'm right, but you don't want me to know that."
"No, it's because I simply have no time to talk to you about my control thing, and really need to finish this."
I lay on my stomach and pick up my brush. Maybe I'll change the paint to watercolor....Yeah, that'll work. It'll work really well because I'll do the cover for Bring Me The Horizon's song, "Can You Feel My Heart". I mean...I hope it'll work...
"Everything is about control to you, isn't it?"
"Sometimes."
"No, it's all the time. Most of the things that you and Melody talk about is control. Why?"
My mind says to answer, but my heart says to keep it locked up. Heart? Mind? Heart? Mind? Neither really help me, so what is there to do?
"Okay, or don't tell me, that's cool, too."
I slam my pencil down and glare at him. "Listen, you are relatively new to my life, so pardon me if I don't spill the contents of my heart out to you. You just asked me to homecoming, I said yes, now why can't we just have a happy night and not talk about this?"
"Fine..."
"Tha--"
"But we will talk about this tomorrow before school."
"Dammit."

I wake up, my head on something soft. Wait, soft? I don't remember going onto anything soft...What the heck?
"Hey, you're up...Go back to sleep."
Who is that?
I sit up straight, gazing into the direction the voice came from and see Jordan lying on the ground. Wait. No. He was supposed to get the couch.
"What time is it?"
He checks his phone. "It appears to be seven."
I jump up and run to my room. "I am running behind! Why would you tell me to go back to sleep? Why aren't you getting ready?"
My ears faintly pick up a laugh, "Because school got cancelled, water break."
The pair of jeans I had in my hand fall, and I grab my blanket off my bed, dragging it to the living room. "Oh...well then."
Jordan watches me sit on the ground next to him, curling up in my blanket. In all honesty, I probably looked like an eskimo or something. Probably something else judging by the look on his face.
"Don't judge me, mornings are rough."
He chuckles, shaking his head. "I'm not judging, I'm admiring."
"Admiring what? My morning hair?"
"No, you're cuteness...You're like a little eskimo in that."

I feel butterflies in my stomach, a smile forms on my face. I'll admit it...I like him. He thinks like me in a way, which is a plus, and he's cute.
Maybe I will let him in...
Maybe