Darling, Look at the Sparks

Drag my hand behind you like a chain behind a truck. Sparks over your carpet while I chase you through the darkness.

If you saw how Jack and Alex acted towards each other, you'd always think they were dating. The elder of the two, Alex, lived so far from the younger, Jack. About six hours away. The elder had no idea why his friend made such a giant deal about them seeing each other as often as possible. He didn't want to bother him, but Jack would always make the effort of the six hour drive to see him.

It was worth it in Jack's opinion, his friend was everything he has ever wanted, Alex and Jack were basically the same person, and that sparked his interest more than anything.

Somebody's supposed to fall in love, but nobody even calls. Somebody's supposed to...

It was Jack's choice to go to Alex's house all the time, he never wanted the elder to make the effort to see him. He never thought he was good enough for his friend to drive six hours just to see. But to Jack, Alex was worth the walking distance.

Tear this place apart until you find me hiding, silently I wait. You'll be excited just to see me someday. Everything's okay.

They'd mostly sit around Alex's apartment, on the floor, or just roaming around the small insignificant town the elder lived in and has called his home for years. To Jack, everything was worth it, the long talks, walks, star gazing, and simply enjoying the silence shared between them.

Jack felt so important when his friend would share stories about his younger life, his family, old friends. Sometimes, Alex would get stumped on a specific time period, his breath would hitch and eventually lean into the younger's neck and just cry. Trying desperately to share his life with his friend. Paw at his head when he would just get so stuck on it, get so frustrated it sometimes scared Jack. But he stayed.

He'll always stay until Alex finally disposes of him forever.

Summer and gold throw their colors at the dark, a mother tells her son, "Darling look at the sparks." But you hold my attention without even trying.

A lot of the time, Alex would lead Jack into a giant clearing, a giant patch of the sky could be seen from above, filling Jack's eyes with stars. He would bend his legs towards his body, wrap his arms around them, and rest his head on his knees and watch the stars while slowly leaning into Alex's side.

Over time, Jack got more confident around his friend. Which seemed silly, a 23 year old man not confident enough to look his 24 year old friend in the eye. Afraid of judgment, replacement, heartbreak.

So when Alex was too occupied with telling Jack all about the stars and space, the younger would just lean his head up and watch his friend's face while he animatedly spoke about the world outside of the small bubble we lived in. Sometimes, Alex would catch him watching him and lean down just to peck Jack's forehead or brush their noses together.

A beautiful reflection from firework eyes, but never means forever. Desperation and hanging in the backyard at night. Somebody's supposed to fall in love.

Jack likes to think back about how they met. It's been a year since then, and he still cherishes the memory.

His friend Rian was throwing a party and the younger was sat in the corner of the room, watching people he knew and people he didn't make giant fools of themselves. He didn't notice the golden honey like eyes that he has fallen in love with until they were in front of his face.

After a bit of awkward introductions, Jack seemed to warm up to him and even learned his name. They just.. clicked.

Everything after that, was history.

Tear this place apart until you find me hiding, silently I wait. You'll be excited just to see me someday. Everything's okay.

Jack had learned all about Alex's past. It took awhile for the elder to open up and tell him his darkest secrets, but eventually Alex had opened up and the younger did the same.

Although, Jack's problems weren't as bad as his friend's and he just wanted to scoop Alex up and kiss him forever just so he could replace the bad memories, with good.

He remembered holding his friend tightly to his chest as he sobbed, talking about his brother and father dying in a car accident, talked about the kids at his school and how emotionless they were. Talked about the depression, pain, and burns put onto his person.

That was the day they first kissed, and Jack swears he saw all the cliche things in a romance movie. The fireworks, sparks, and fire in the gut. He hoped that Alex felt it too, the connection between the two were just made to be.

Love, don't forget to bleed so slowly. Haunted hearts we melt over the fabric of your floor. I'm holdin' her just like she's gold, but I've been running from the sun. Oh no, no.

All the nights they spent holding desperately to each other, the younger watched Alex's life crumble away at the seams, he watched as Alex lost faith more and more each day, he knew he couldn't do anything, he could just hope that his friend would hold on and let Jack show him that life was worth the pain and misery. It was worth the heartbreak.

Life was just... worth it.

Alex just didn't understand that.

Some nights were spent with Alex yelling out his frustrations. Jack tried to console him but learned that none of this was pinned on him, it was all about what the elder experienced in his younger years. He remembered Alex grabbing a fistful of his own hair, streams of tears running down his face as he screamed 'Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken!'

With that one sentence, Jack knew he had to always stay with Alex.

And if I ever catch the ones who hurt you, I'm hoping that God looks away this time. Why would I let you go?

It was really hard honestly. At times Jack wondered why he even tried. Alex would completely ignore him, wouldn't act like there was anything going on between them, like they didn't make out on the floor two days ago. It was frustrating, it made Jack want to just leave all together, but he could never do that.

He loved Alex and wanted to hurt everybody that hurt his favorite person. He just wanted to wrap Alex in his arms, protect him from everything and keep him safe, but he knew he could never do that.

Tear this place apart until you find me hiding, silently I wait. You'll be excited just to see me someday. Everything's okay.

So when Jack drove the normal six hour trip to Alex's house, he fell to his knees outside the house. A big sign on the left of the house stating that it was on sale, the big sign that ruined Jack's life.

He walked up to the door, hoping this was all a joke but he found a note on the door addressed to him.

'I'm so sorry, Jack. I had to do this, you wouldn't want to stay with a mess like me, you'd eventually get sick of me and leave. I don't think I could take that.

I love you. Please don't think I never did, because I do and I always will. - Alex'

He didn't even think of where he was going, and when his mind finally caught up he found himself at the clearing he and Alex always went to, he collapsed onto the cold ground and aloud himself to cry. Alex was all he had and now everything was gone, he spent so much time on him just to end up alone.

Alex didn't love him, why would he? Jack was just a stranger he met at a party that was willing to listen.

With that thought in mind, he cried even harder, pounding his fists into the ground just begging for this to be a dream and to be able to kiss Alex whenever he wanted to. To be able to tangle his own tongue with the elder's and swallow the moan that he would let out once in awhile that was music to Jack's ears.

But now, he could never do that. Alex had left and had taken Jack's heart with him. Never to return.

As far as Jack knew.