Weightless.
Dinner.
Why does 96 pounds feel like 196? Why does two crackers and a bottle of water feel like a 4-course meal? Why do sharp bones feel like rolls of fat? Why does going after something he wants SO bad feel like misery?
His father is home after 4 months. His family is invited over for dinner. Grandmother, grandfather, 2 aunts, an uncle, and 4 cousins. None of them know he's lost 18 pounds since they last visited, the evening before his dad left. He wonders if they'll even notice the difference.
Dad gets there first, laughing and wrapping the mom up in his huge arms before kissing her. He doesn't see his son standing to the side awkwardly but when he does his expression is shocked to say the least.
Look at his face. He can't stand to look at you.
He's sent upstairs to change into a long sleeve shirt to hide his arms and jeans that don't hug his legs. It hurts more than he expected to be rejected by his father but he knows its what he deserves. He doesn't get to have the hugs or the kisses or even a simple smile. He gets scorn and disbelief. Hes hidden away in layers of fabric because his family cant bear to look at him, and he wont force them to.
xxx
He doesn't leave his room when they arrive. Complains of a stomach ache and it isn't entirely false. He lays on the bed in his boxers, a heating pad on his stomach. He doesn't want to be tempted by his favorite dishes. Doesn't want his cousins to grandmother to fill his plate up with seconds. Doesn't want his mother to shake her head at his lack of appetite. He just wants to be alone.
He hears footsteps on the coming down the hall and then knocking on his bedroom door.
"Mijo, do you want dessert? Your mother made brazo gitano. Come out por favor."
He hates to hear the desperation in his grandmothers voice and forces himself out of bed despite the hunger pains. He unlocks his door and opens it. His grandmother is silent for a moment, maybe two before the plate she's holding crashes to the ground. The pastry falls with it. Her eyes are all over him, his face, his neck, his chest, over his hips and down his legs, his arms. Her mouth opens and closes like she doesn't know what to say. Ana knows what she's trying to say. Fat. Fat. Fat.
His father is home after 4 months. His family is invited over for dinner. Grandmother, grandfather, 2 aunts, an uncle, and 4 cousins. None of them know he's lost 18 pounds since they last visited, the evening before his dad left. He wonders if they'll even notice the difference.
Dad gets there first, laughing and wrapping the mom up in his huge arms before kissing her. He doesn't see his son standing to the side awkwardly but when he does his expression is shocked to say the least.
Look at his face. He can't stand to look at you.
He's sent upstairs to change into a long sleeve shirt to hide his arms and jeans that don't hug his legs. It hurts more than he expected to be rejected by his father but he knows its what he deserves. He doesn't get to have the hugs or the kisses or even a simple smile. He gets scorn and disbelief. Hes hidden away in layers of fabric because his family cant bear to look at him, and he wont force them to.
xxx
He doesn't leave his room when they arrive. Complains of a stomach ache and it isn't entirely false. He lays on the bed in his boxers, a heating pad on his stomach. He doesn't want to be tempted by his favorite dishes. Doesn't want his cousins to grandmother to fill his plate up with seconds. Doesn't want his mother to shake her head at his lack of appetite. He just wants to be alone.
He hears footsteps on the coming down the hall and then knocking on his bedroom door.
"Mijo, do you want dessert? Your mother made brazo gitano. Come out por favor."
He hates to hear the desperation in his grandmothers voice and forces himself out of bed despite the hunger pains. He unlocks his door and opens it. His grandmother is silent for a moment, maybe two before the plate she's holding crashes to the ground. The pastry falls with it. Her eyes are all over him, his face, his neck, his chest, over his hips and down his legs, his arms. Her mouth opens and closes like she doesn't know what to say. Ana knows what she's trying to say. Fat. Fat. Fat.
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I would like to thank Jamie (Intoxication;;) for this wonderful layout. I highly recommend his story "Bones". If I knew how to add links in here I would. Thank you again Jamie.