My Sister's Shadow

Several days have passed since Matt saw my disaster in the bathroom. I haven't left my room since then and everyone has bee trying to get me out. The worse part was that today was my sister, Fynn and my birthday. By default I was more depressed than usual.

Matt came up to my door; I knew it was him because I could hear his heavy feet coming closer to the door.

“I don't wanna fuckin' come outside.” I said as I continued to rip the loose bits of my jean shorts.

“Stop being a fucking child and come out side before I drag you out.” I heard Brian's voice.

Brian? Why the fuck is he outside my door.

I finally gave in and got up from the bed and opened the door.

Brian had his typical “bad ass” smirk on his face and he had a blonde bitch on his arm.

“Matt told me he was getting you out of the house probably to air your shank ass out seeing how you have been in here three whole days.” Brian said looking me up and down glaring. Knowing full well I shower everyday I simply glare back and brush past him.

I walk down stairs and see pretty much old faces and new ones. Matt saw me and he walked over to me.

“I wanna get you out of the house, I know you Avery when you get like this you need to go to the beach.” He said putting his arm over my shoulder. I smiled sort of. That was the only thing that could calm me down, a nice walk on the beach would be just what I needed.
“Happy birthday Avery I know you feel really upset today, but I hope the beach will make you a little happier.” Matt said as we drove down the street.

“Thanks, I know I should try to be happy, but it still hurts...I still hurt.” I said looking out the window.

“I know, but you know Fynn would want you to live your life happy and with pride.” He said as he continued to drive.
Matt and I got to the beach in record time. We pulled up just as the sun was setting. I sat over on the wall just like my sister and I used to back in the day. I feel the cool ocean breeze and it's almost like my sister was there will me.

“I know you think that you don't belong here Avery, but I'm here to tell you that you really do belong here. I don't want anything bad to happen to you.” Matt said. His words went right through me and I could feel the sadness leave my body.

Matt took a hold of my hand and we watched the beautiful California sunset. I squeezed back letting him know that I was listening to him and that I was grateful.

I felt like I didn't have to be sad or depressed anymore with Matt by my side. I still have the urge to cut, but hopefully soon I wouldn't need to anymore. Having Matt here was like having a little bit of Fynn with me telling me I wasn't alone anymore.

“Come on it looks like it going to storm.” Matt said looking into the sky.

He was right the once beautifully painted sky of purple and pink died and in came an angry dark gray sky. We ran back to the car and headed home. When we pulled up to the house everything was dark inside.

“I think everyone finally decided to go home.” Matt said chuckling. As we walked into the house I knew something was up, just then the light flicked on and everyone jumped up and screamed “Surprise!” I was both shocked and happy I didn't know that they would put all this effort into a party for me. They loved Fynn and I always thought I was her black sheep twin. Matt came up behind me and wrapped me in his arms.

“I hope you aren't mad, I know you really don't the whole birthday party thing, but I thought this would make you happy.” Matt said.

I turned around and smiled. “This is the greatest thing ever, I didn't expect it at all. Thank you so much” I said hugging him. It felt so good hugging him it's like he took all the bad feelings away and calmed me.

“You're welcome Avery, now lets go open presents and eat cake.” Matt said grinning. T hats what Fynn used to say she always wanted presents first, not that she was greedy, but for a log time I never really got any presents really. So Fynn always made me open my presents first so I could know the feeling.

Everything was going so well, everyone was happy and having a good time until Brian had to speak.

“Shouldn't we be celebrating Fynn's birthday too, I mean she is the one who is dead and can't be happy here with us.” Brian said sounding drunk.

“Brian come one man sit down, you know we will always remember Fynn” Matt said.

“No one has forgotten my sister, I celebrate her everyday she isn't here, and I have to live everyday knowing she isn't with us.” I said looking at Brian.

“Well maybe if you weren't drunk Fynn would still be alive. She was always bailing you out of everything you never learned anything. Fynn was always helping her fucked up twin sister and you just took her for granted.” Brian spat leaving the room. I quickly ran outside not caring if it was raining. I fell on the grass and just laid there. The rain mixed with tears as I cried hard into the grass. I didn't know how long I was out there,but I felt someone pick me up and take me into the warm house. That's was all I remembered before passing out.