Sequel: Painting Flowers ›
Never Look Back
Fighting Fire with Fire
Alyssa’s POV
I groaned as I sat up, I was sitting on the couch at home with a brown blanket draped over me. It was dead silent; I looked around and got up. I cringed against my pounding headache just as a door squeaked opened and I turned to see Alex exiting the bathroom.
“Hey, you’re awake. How’re you feeling?” He asked gently and as nicely as he could, like I was a six year old who just fell and scraped their knee.
“I’m fine, what time is it?” I asked massively irritated.
“It is…” Alex trailed on as he dug his phone out of his pocket and turned the screen on. “10:34 at night,” He stuffed his phone back where it was.
“Where are Patrick and Jack?”
“Patrick is in his room and Jack is out with Rian and Zack.”
“Why aren’t you with them?” I asked knowing he would never pass up a chance to go clubbing with the guys.
He shrugged, “you passed out on the couch and I didn’t want to just leave you so I stayed.” I sighed and my head fell into my hand.
“Passed out?” I asked in a groan.
“Yeah.”
“God I’m such a fucking idiot,” I hissed quietly to myself. I felt his arms wrap around me and his head rest on my shoulder.
“No it was my fault and I’m sorry,” he whispered. I untangled myself from his arms and hugged him tightly, burying my face in his neck. “I had to talk to Taylor alone and set things straight with her so she wouldn’t bother us.”
“Just talk to me, if you needed to talk to her alone you could’ve just told me and I would’ve left,” I replied.
“I know and I’m sorry.”
“Of course, I get pissed and run away to go get drunk so you have to track me down…sorry for that,” I whispered.
“Again, my fault,” I sighed at his response but I didn’t want to argue. He pulled away and pecked my lips before releasing me completely.
I felt a sharp jolt of pain from my headache.
“Ow! Do we have any Advil?” I mumbled and Alex escorted me to the kitchen. He got out the medicine and poured me a glass of water and handed them to me. I just took a big enough sip to wash down the pills and then dumped the rest down the drain.
“Just give me about 20 minutes and I’ll be ready,” I said to him. He looked at me questionably. “We’re going out with the boys aren’t we?”
He frowned and shook his head, “you aren’t going anywhere and since you’re staying home, I am too.”
My jaw dropped, “What!? No! I don’t want to stay here all night!”
“Alyssa, you were wasted only ten hours ago and you have a massive headache from the hangover you’re developing, I don’t think a club that contains alcohol is going to be the best place for you right now!” He stated, slightly raising his voice.
“I can take care of myself, you know that and I can also make my own decisions. I AM technically an adult now and you sure as hell aren’t any parent of mine, you’re my BOYFRIEND,” I shot back but he was ready.
“If you’re claiming you’re an adult, why don’t you start acting like one? Getting wasted at 12:30 in the afternoon just because I didn’t introduce you as my GIRLFRIEND isn’t exactly very adult like!”
My heart sank at the jab and he continued to raise his voice. “Yes, I am your boyfriend and all I want is to keep you safe, is it too much to ask that you just stay home tonight?”
“Are you really gonna throw the ‘getting wasted’ part at me when you are the one who caused it? It’s not just the fact that you didn’t introduce me as your girlfriend, it’s the fact that you guys seemed like best friends and you seemed really into her and then you just shoved me away like you didn’t even want me so I immediately thought that you wanted her back and that I was only here because you felt bad or because you’d get bored!” I felt tears starting to well up in my eyes and I tried to blink them back as best I could.
“I don’t have any feelings for her but you have to realize that I can’t change in a day! I can’t go from having sex with 3 different girls a week to not having sex at all and being in a relationship and not think about other girls! I had to give that up because I met you and I realized that I wanted you so bad that I would give up every girl for you but it’s not that simple!” He said; his raised voice remaining constant as he continued.
“I can’t just go cold turkey, I will still think about having sex with other girls but I won’t because I know it would obviously upset you and I can’t lose you! You have to give me time to get used to that fact, I know we’ve only been seeing each other for like a month but you have no idea what effect you have on me. Please…just understand that I get tempted everyday with girls coming to me for sex and I turn them all down and I don’t want to but I feel proud of myself when I do. So I’m sorry I acted that way with Taylor, I was wrong to handle it like that.” His voice ended quietly.
“Alex,” I whispered but he just shook his head.
“I should go home, I’m sure you want to be alone or maybe clubbing I don’t know…it doesn’t matter anymore.” With that, he left. He quietly walked out of the door into his car and simply left…
I slumped down on the kitchen floor and curled myself into a ball and finally let go of the tears that had been waiting to fall.
I felt like an ass, of course he was right. Changing his bad habit that took up so much of him wasn’t going to come in a day. I was going to have to be flexible about the way he acted around girls and just trust that won’t cheat on me. I’m sure I haven’t been much help in that department, he looks at a girl for more than a glance and I run off to get wasted thinking that he doesn’t want me anymore…and maybe now he doesn’t. I just get in the way of everything and maybe I’m not worth changing for. Maybe it would be better if we didn’t see each other anymore.
“Do you really think that will work? Not being with him? You’ll never last more than a day,” my conscience fired at me. I knew it was right; I wanted to be with Alex as much as he claimed he wanted to be with me.
I decided I would wait until tomorrow and talk to Alex at school; problem was I couldn’t think of a good time to talk to him. Plus, what if he didn’t even listen to me? I guess I’d just have to see how it’d plan itself out, maybe I could ask Jack to talk to him if he didn’t listen to me…although I didn’t know what Jack would do to change him mind but I figure it wouldn’t hurt to give the kid a try if nothing else works.
I headed into my room and snuggled under my covers and thankfully, fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
I languidly changed into a slouchy striped pullover with black leggings and tan riding boots over that. I loosely curled my long black hair and did my usual light makeup. I walked out to the living room with my leather bag slung over my shoulder.
“Jack?” I called, I didn’t see him in the living room or in the kitchen, he’d better be up or I was gonna kick his lanky ass. “Jack, are you ready? Alex is coming to get us soon; you’d better be ready to go.”
With still no reply I headed back to his room and opened his door to find it absent, I walked into the bathroom, no sign and I double checked the kitchen…still no one. I dialed his phone and heard a laughing on the other end.
“Jack?” I asked into the phone, but the laughing continued. “Jack! What’s going on? Where are you?”
“Oh, dude she’s on. Here, you take it,” I heard Jack mumble and the phone sounded like it was being passed to someone else.
“Hey Alyssa! Sorry, I can’t pick you up today,” Alex’s sardonic voice spoke through the phone, dripping in sarcasm. “Jack and I are getting wasted instead of going to school, thought I’d try it out and you know what? You’re right; getting wasted for stupid reasons is fun!”
“Why’re you doing this? I said I was sorry for going off to get drunk, I thought we cleared all of that up,” I pleaded into the phone.
“Yeah, you did but here’s the thing…you would do it again if the situation resurfaced, so being the respectful parent that I am I decided to FORCE you to learn that lesson.”
“I was gonna apologize, for everything I said today because you were right about it all. I shouldn’t’ve assumed that you wanted Taylor back and I realized that I was being overdramatic. I wanted to apologize for not seeing that giving up who you really were wasn’t going to be easy; I know that now…so I’m sorry…for everything.” I ended it in a whisper and tears welled in my eyes, but I stopped them, I wasn’t going to cry over this. “Bye Alex.”
“Wait Alyce.”
I ended the call and squeezed tears out of my shut eyes. This whole relationship thing with Alex was a complete waste of time; I should’ve listened to everyone and trusted my instinct. We’ve only been boyfriend/girlfriend for about month and we were close to breaking up already.
I didn’t bother going to school, I didn’t have the energy so I called Patrick and asked him to excuse Jack and I for personal reasons and after about 20 minutes of convincing, he complied. I didn’t dare tell him Jack was off getting drunk with Alex. I couldn’t do that to Jack, Patrick would ban him from the band and that would kill him.
Sleep was gonna be my best option, I striped out of my clothes and changed into sweats then climbed into my soft warm bed again. I was still wondering if this move was even worth it, having to deal with Alex and the people at this school was exhausting and stressful. Tears rolled off my cheeks in streams and I finally let out all the sorrow I felt from my fight with Alex, my life, my non-existent friends and even my mom until I drifted off into a deep sleep that I’d been waiting for.
I groaned as I sat up, I was sitting on the couch at home with a brown blanket draped over me. It was dead silent; I looked around and got up. I cringed against my pounding headache just as a door squeaked opened and I turned to see Alex exiting the bathroom.
“Hey, you’re awake. How’re you feeling?” He asked gently and as nicely as he could, like I was a six year old who just fell and scraped their knee.
“I’m fine, what time is it?” I asked massively irritated.
“It is…” Alex trailed on as he dug his phone out of his pocket and turned the screen on. “10:34 at night,” He stuffed his phone back where it was.
“Where are Patrick and Jack?”
“Patrick is in his room and Jack is out with Rian and Zack.”
“Why aren’t you with them?” I asked knowing he would never pass up a chance to go clubbing with the guys.
He shrugged, “you passed out on the couch and I didn’t want to just leave you so I stayed.” I sighed and my head fell into my hand.
“Passed out?” I asked in a groan.
“Yeah.”
“God I’m such a fucking idiot,” I hissed quietly to myself. I felt his arms wrap around me and his head rest on my shoulder.
“No it was my fault and I’m sorry,” he whispered. I untangled myself from his arms and hugged him tightly, burying my face in his neck. “I had to talk to Taylor alone and set things straight with her so she wouldn’t bother us.”
“Just talk to me, if you needed to talk to her alone you could’ve just told me and I would’ve left,” I replied.
“I know and I’m sorry.”
“Of course, I get pissed and run away to go get drunk so you have to track me down…sorry for that,” I whispered.
“Again, my fault,” I sighed at his response but I didn’t want to argue. He pulled away and pecked my lips before releasing me completely.
I felt a sharp jolt of pain from my headache.
“Ow! Do we have any Advil?” I mumbled and Alex escorted me to the kitchen. He got out the medicine and poured me a glass of water and handed them to me. I just took a big enough sip to wash down the pills and then dumped the rest down the drain.
“Just give me about 20 minutes and I’ll be ready,” I said to him. He looked at me questionably. “We’re going out with the boys aren’t we?”
He frowned and shook his head, “you aren’t going anywhere and since you’re staying home, I am too.”
My jaw dropped, “What!? No! I don’t want to stay here all night!”
“Alyssa, you were wasted only ten hours ago and you have a massive headache from the hangover you’re developing, I don’t think a club that contains alcohol is going to be the best place for you right now!” He stated, slightly raising his voice.
“I can take care of myself, you know that and I can also make my own decisions. I AM technically an adult now and you sure as hell aren’t any parent of mine, you’re my BOYFRIEND,” I shot back but he was ready.
“If you’re claiming you’re an adult, why don’t you start acting like one? Getting wasted at 12:30 in the afternoon just because I didn’t introduce you as my GIRLFRIEND isn’t exactly very adult like!”
My heart sank at the jab and he continued to raise his voice. “Yes, I am your boyfriend and all I want is to keep you safe, is it too much to ask that you just stay home tonight?”
“Are you really gonna throw the ‘getting wasted’ part at me when you are the one who caused it? It’s not just the fact that you didn’t introduce me as your girlfriend, it’s the fact that you guys seemed like best friends and you seemed really into her and then you just shoved me away like you didn’t even want me so I immediately thought that you wanted her back and that I was only here because you felt bad or because you’d get bored!” I felt tears starting to well up in my eyes and I tried to blink them back as best I could.
“I don’t have any feelings for her but you have to realize that I can’t change in a day! I can’t go from having sex with 3 different girls a week to not having sex at all and being in a relationship and not think about other girls! I had to give that up because I met you and I realized that I wanted you so bad that I would give up every girl for you but it’s not that simple!” He said; his raised voice remaining constant as he continued.
“I can’t just go cold turkey, I will still think about having sex with other girls but I won’t because I know it would obviously upset you and I can’t lose you! You have to give me time to get used to that fact, I know we’ve only been seeing each other for like a month but you have no idea what effect you have on me. Please…just understand that I get tempted everyday with girls coming to me for sex and I turn them all down and I don’t want to but I feel proud of myself when I do. So I’m sorry I acted that way with Taylor, I was wrong to handle it like that.” His voice ended quietly.
“Alex,” I whispered but he just shook his head.
“I should go home, I’m sure you want to be alone or maybe clubbing I don’t know…it doesn’t matter anymore.” With that, he left. He quietly walked out of the door into his car and simply left…
I slumped down on the kitchen floor and curled myself into a ball and finally let go of the tears that had been waiting to fall.
I felt like an ass, of course he was right. Changing his bad habit that took up so much of him wasn’t going to come in a day. I was going to have to be flexible about the way he acted around girls and just trust that won’t cheat on me. I’m sure I haven’t been much help in that department, he looks at a girl for more than a glance and I run off to get wasted thinking that he doesn’t want me anymore…and maybe now he doesn’t. I just get in the way of everything and maybe I’m not worth changing for. Maybe it would be better if we didn’t see each other anymore.
“Do you really think that will work? Not being with him? You’ll never last more than a day,” my conscience fired at me. I knew it was right; I wanted to be with Alex as much as he claimed he wanted to be with me.
I decided I would wait until tomorrow and talk to Alex at school; problem was I couldn’t think of a good time to talk to him. Plus, what if he didn’t even listen to me? I guess I’d just have to see how it’d plan itself out, maybe I could ask Jack to talk to him if he didn’t listen to me…although I didn’t know what Jack would do to change him mind but I figure it wouldn’t hurt to give the kid a try if nothing else works.
I headed into my room and snuggled under my covers and thankfully, fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
I languidly changed into a slouchy striped pullover with black leggings and tan riding boots over that. I loosely curled my long black hair and did my usual light makeup. I walked out to the living room with my leather bag slung over my shoulder.
“Jack?” I called, I didn’t see him in the living room or in the kitchen, he’d better be up or I was gonna kick his lanky ass. “Jack, are you ready? Alex is coming to get us soon; you’d better be ready to go.”
With still no reply I headed back to his room and opened his door to find it absent, I walked into the bathroom, no sign and I double checked the kitchen…still no one. I dialed his phone and heard a laughing on the other end.
“Jack?” I asked into the phone, but the laughing continued. “Jack! What’s going on? Where are you?”
“Oh, dude she’s on. Here, you take it,” I heard Jack mumble and the phone sounded like it was being passed to someone else.
“Hey Alyssa! Sorry, I can’t pick you up today,” Alex’s sardonic voice spoke through the phone, dripping in sarcasm. “Jack and I are getting wasted instead of going to school, thought I’d try it out and you know what? You’re right; getting wasted for stupid reasons is fun!”
“Why’re you doing this? I said I was sorry for going off to get drunk, I thought we cleared all of that up,” I pleaded into the phone.
“Yeah, you did but here’s the thing…you would do it again if the situation resurfaced, so being the respectful parent that I am I decided to FORCE you to learn that lesson.”
“I was gonna apologize, for everything I said today because you were right about it all. I shouldn’t’ve assumed that you wanted Taylor back and I realized that I was being overdramatic. I wanted to apologize for not seeing that giving up who you really were wasn’t going to be easy; I know that now…so I’m sorry…for everything.” I ended it in a whisper and tears welled in my eyes, but I stopped them, I wasn’t going to cry over this. “Bye Alex.”
“Wait Alyce.”
I ended the call and squeezed tears out of my shut eyes. This whole relationship thing with Alex was a complete waste of time; I should’ve listened to everyone and trusted my instinct. We’ve only been boyfriend/girlfriend for about month and we were close to breaking up already.
I didn’t bother going to school, I didn’t have the energy so I called Patrick and asked him to excuse Jack and I for personal reasons and after about 20 minutes of convincing, he complied. I didn’t dare tell him Jack was off getting drunk with Alex. I couldn’t do that to Jack, Patrick would ban him from the band and that would kill him.
Sleep was gonna be my best option, I striped out of my clothes and changed into sweats then climbed into my soft warm bed again. I was still wondering if this move was even worth it, having to deal with Alex and the people at this school was exhausting and stressful. Tears rolled off my cheeks in streams and I finally let out all the sorrow I felt from my fight with Alex, my life, my non-existent friends and even my mom until I drifted off into a deep sleep that I’d been waiting for.