Never Look Back

Along with the dress I picked out black heels which added up to around one hundred fifty dollars. Jack asked how I got so much money and I lied and told him I saved up some money from working back when my mom was still alive but that was a lie. I had millions of dollars inherited from my mother who worked as a neurologist. She made a lot of money but was hardly ever home because of her work hours; she wanted every cent she had to go to me. No one knew that I had so much money, not even Patrick.
”See, aren’t you happy we went shopping? Now you can come to the dance!” Jack said pretending to be excited when he was actually exhausted.
“Yep…super happy.” He began feverishly texting someone nonstop, which was unusual considering he never texted anyone.
“Who’re you texting?” I asked as I dragged in my bags and sat next to him on the couch, peeking over his shoulder.
“Alex,” he said simply and pulled away from me just far enough so I couldn’t see. There was a silence while he continued texting.
“What are you guys talking about? Did he say what his mom wanted him for?” I asked and he shook his head. I sighed in defeat and went to put away my dress and shoes. It seemed like everyone was acting strange today, even Patrick wasn’t home yet.

Friday finally rolled around and all the band mates got out of school at one to get everything ready to leave by three. Matt was running around making sure everything had been accounted for and everyone was here on time. He checked off all the instruments and gears as they went in the van, Alex hummed along to some notes in one of their songs, Zack helped lift the cases into the van and Jack filled the car with food, beverages, accessories and directions to the high school and hotel. I made sure my camera battery was charged and wrote down places to get pictures developed and different t-shirt and poster designs.
By the time everybody got everything together it was already 3:30, we were running late and Matt was throwing a fit. He had to drive all of us in the van and he was not happy about all of the guys acting like ‘children.’
“Woot Woot! Road trip!” Alex called from the seat directly behind me. He was sitting next to Rian. In the middle seat I sat next to Jack and Jack sat next to Zack and in the passenger seat sat Matt Colussy.
Alex and I had barely spoken since we talked on the phone and I didn’t know why, was it something I said or did?
“Alex, Pokémon war right here. You can sync your phone to mine,” Jack held his phone against Alex’s and they went at it.
“Fuck, someone hand me a bag, I’m gonna blow,” Rian groaned and held his hand against his head. Everyone groaned back and leaned away from him, passing him a brown bag that Jack got especially for his car sickness.
“Matts I’m bored!” Zack whined and Colussy handed him a weight and some papers and some crayons. “Ha-ha…hilarious.” He said sarcastically. Next thing everyone knows Rian’s back there putting good use to that brown bag. We reluctantly passed it back up to Colussy who chucked it out of the window.
“Only thirty more minutes you guys,” Matt Flyzik called back to us and the two managers continued small talk about the future of the band. Rian continued to squeeze his eyes shut and groan every two seconds, Zack continued to sit silently and draw and Jack and Alex continued to duel each other in Pokémon, occasionally hearing one of them praise themselves or hiss swear words. I sat…all alone, occasionally looking at all the past photos I had taken of the boys, smiling at how silly they looked sometimes.
As we neared Washington D.C. Jack fell asleep as with Alex, I slipped his phone out from his hand and went through his messages. The only person he talked to was Alex.

Me: I got the picture; here I’ll send it to you
PICTURE MESSAGE
LexDragonMaster: Alright thanks, my mom will hem the pants for me
Me: When are you gonna ask her?
LexDragonMaster: I don’t know, can’t find the right time
Me: Well she’s getting suspicious so hurry
LexDragonMaster: Fuck, okay I’ll do it soon. Thanks again man btw you gonna ask Becca?
Me: I don’t know, we talk a lot but I don’t know
LexDragonMaster: Just go for it; if she hesitates then say only as friends
Me: Gotcha, thanks man see you tomorrow
LexDragonMaster: Kay bye

I clicked on the picture message and it was of me in my dress laughing. Suddenly it clicked; he WAS taking a picture for me to send to Alex! Is Alex gonna ask me to the dance then? If so then why did Alex need a picture of me? I cringed as I looked at the picture again, wasn’t the best one of me.
Jack stirred and I dropped the phone quickly next to his hand, his eyes slit open then closed again.
“Guys we’re here wake up.”
We turned into a big high school that had a sign that said DUNBAR HIGH SCHOOL out front. Everyone helped unpack the equipment and drag it into the cafeteria. Since I was weak, I couldn’t exactly lift much so Zack was making most of the trips. Alex and Jack were inside taking all the instruments out and setting them up as well as Rian, he was putting together his drum set behind them.
“Guys hurry, we’re late as it is and I really don’t need you guys putting us even more behind schedule by fucking around,” Colussy said when he came in to check on everyone. They put it all together, setting up the stand, putting picks into the mikes and plugging the guitars into the amplifiers. I couldn’t really help in any way except take pictures of them putting stuff up to put on their site.
“God, stop that Alyssa your flashing is annoying,” Alex complained as I snapped a picture of him and Zack tuning their guitars.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, feeling a little hurt after his snap. I lumbered over to both of the Matts who were talking about lights and sound.
“Well, I’m thinking if we put- hey Alyssa, you need something?” Flyzik asked me.
“No, sorry,” I mumbled and sauntered off. It seemed like I was only in the way, not knowing what to do with myself I sat off in the corner. I watched everyone work as a team, setting everything up, laughing, talking, joking around and I realized how much I loved the people in my life. I didn’t think this was how life would end up here, but a past like mine definitely wouldn’t guarantee a good life.
I thought back to the money, knowing it could take care of everything we needed but I just couldn’t tell anyone. But, if anyone found out they would accuse me of keeping it all for myself. No one would understand why I can’t tell anyone. No one would understand why I can’t spend any of it either.