Never Look Back

“So, first gig is to start this year off is tomorrow…are we ready boys?” Alex asked looking from band mate to band mate. They all nodded slowly with readied faces. “Alyssa, how’s it coming with the photo shit?” They all turned expectantly at me.
“Well, I talked to Colussy and he said that you guys will be taking shots today after school to sell at the gig as posters and whatever. He said I could put you guys in any position I wanted,” I said mischievously and tapped my fingers together.
“Don’t get any ideas Alyce,” Alex chuckled and winked at me. “Doors open at 6:30, starting time is 7 so Matt expects us to be there around 2 when they close down the store so we can have more privacy.”
“God dammit Matt, why so early?” Jack whined to Matt Flyzik across the table.
“Because last time I let you come late you slacked off and nothing got done, we had to wait like an hour to open doors, remember?” Matt said and Jack rolled his eyes but let it go. It was almost amusing at how into it they got, I started to wonder if anyone even came to these gigs. That would be pretty depressing…but the camera Matt Colussy gave me was pretty nice so it wouldn’t be totally devastating.
“Fuck you Jack! You hungry ass prick!” I looked over to see Jack and Rian fighting over a chicken nugget, Jack stole half of it and shoved it down his mouth, Rian laughed hysterically and quickly ate the leftover chicken he had before Jack could take it again.
I was still getting used to the fact that I was a big deal because I was the only girl to ever sit at Alex Gaskarth’s table. I got side glances, glares, stares and full on gawks as I laughed and talked to the boys. Eyes even followed me in the hallway for some reason, it seemed like Alex was just a huge deal here and I was still learning the ropes of his monarchy. He playfully squeezed my shoulder once and I thought I heard every girl in the cafeteria gasp at the sight.
“Alyce, it’s time to go,” Alex said, snapping me out of my thoughts. We had the next period together and I hadn’t even realized the bell had rang. I stood up and walked side by side with him through the halls.
The fidgety and skinny girl with choppy black hair and a purple pleated skirt approached us, she was the same girl I talked to in the lunch line the other day about Alex, her hand gestures were all over the place as she spoke, “Oh my God, sorry for asking but me and my friends have been dying to know…are you two dating?!” My heart thumped loudly at the question and I was caught completely off guard, blood rushing to my cheeks. “Oh my God you are! You’re blushing!” I opened my mouth to argue but Alex was already on top of it.
“Ha-ha, no no…we aren’t dating,” He said coolly. He then leaned in and whispered something in her ear and her mouth formed an O and her eyes went wide.
“Yes!” She squealed and dashed past us to tell her friends, I eyed Alex suspiciously as we began walking again.
“Alex?” I asked.
“Hmm?” He smiled and stared straight ahead.
“What did you tell her?”
“Nothing, don’t worry about it. You’ll find out eventually,” I huffed and rolled my eyes at him which only made him laugh.
“It’s not funny!” I whined but giggled at the same time.
“It’s pretty funny,” He said smiling still. I playfully elbowed him and he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight. Everyone gasps.
We made it to class and sat in our spots, I sat directly behind him, what was with Alex and me always sitting so close together? We worked with each other when we were sent off to complete the next assignment. This only caused more female eyes to travel.
“Do you even notice?” I asked him as he contemplated the homework.
“Notice what? That this homework looks just about as hard as Jack’s dick gets when he sees my mom’s food?” I looked at him, completely confused. “Really fucking hard,” he chuckled looking up at me, his eyes full of amusement.
“Nooo, the fact that everyone stares at you everywhere you go,” he shook his head and his eyes went back down to the homework.
“They aren’t looking at me Alyce, they’re looking at you,” he stated.
“Why would they be looking at me? You’re the eye candy, the God of Gods.”
“But you’re the girl he’s with,” he said simply, not looking up from his work. I was at a loss for words; this made it sound like we were dating or something. But as I thought about it he was right, I was the girl that broke the rules and sat with him at lunch, I’m the girl that he still hasn’t had sex with and I’m the girl that he actually allows be seen in public with…I felt like a celebrity.
“Do girlfriends of yours get this kind of treatment?” I asked wondering if it was just me or was it just the fact that I was with him.
He looked up at me for a moment before answering, “No, they don’t. I don’t walk through the halls with them and I don’t allow them to sit at my table. As you know, it’s only sex and leave, none of that girlfriend shit.”
“So, you’ve never had a girlfriend?” I asked.
He shook his head, “Technically no, not officially. But occasionally I’ll keep only having sex with the same girl for some time. My thinking is, I know what I’m doing isn’t right. I realize that. I’ve hurt a lot of people but they know what’s coming to them. They want more than just sex and I can’t give them that, I’m not going to change who I am unless that girl is worth changing for.” I considered this for a moment.
“That would have to be one amazing girl to change THE Alex Gaskarth.”
“She is,” he said.
When the bell rang, I packed up my stuff and left quickly, I felt someone tug on my arm just as I slipped out of the door. I turned to see Alex pushing through the crowd toward me, turning to wave to a friend before coming up beside me.
“Here, let me take those,” He stole the books from my hand, I opened my mouth to protest but decided not to argue. I could feel the usual stares as we passed, I was starting to get used to them more every day. “What’s your next class?”
“Uhh, Business.” When I said that he smiled big and I eyed him.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing.”
I huffed but let it go, my distress made him chuckle. When we entered the room, I sat at my usual spot and accepted my books back from Alex, but he didn’t leave. He went around talking to everyone in my class and joked with the teacher. The last bell rang and Alex sat down next to the teacher’s desk.
“Alex!” I hissed at him and he turned to smile his crooked smile. “What are you doing here?”
“I have this period open and Mr. Winters doesn’t care if I stay to help.” I clenched my jaw; this was my worse class because I didn’t know anything about anything. The last thing I wanted was a distraction like Alex.
“Open your workbooks to page seventeen, it’s all about home businesses and management,” Mr. Winters hacked roughly into his overused hanker chief and stuffed it back into his tan trousers. I did as he said and glanced up at Alex who was making funny faces my way, of course I couldn’t help but giggle.
“Something funny Miss. Barakat?” He narrowed his eyes at me and cleared his throat.
“Uhh, no nothing I’m sorry.” I quickly got back to work, trying my best to ignore all of Alex’s jokes and jabs.
By the time the period ended I was close to getting kicked out of class by how many times he caught me laughing instead of paying attention. Alex of course took my books and followed me to my locker where I could get my things so Matt could take me home.
“I’m coming over tonight to take you and Jack out, Jack’s favorite ice cream shop, Mr. Moo’s Dairy, is having a new flavor come out today and Jack’s psyched so he asked me to take him…and you of course.” He said leaning up against the locker next to mine, I shut the locker door softly and turned to him.
“Alright, but you’d better get to class or you’re gonna be late,” he shrugged.
“I can take you home.”
“No, then you’ll miss class and I know how much you love class,” I joked and he grinned.
“Fine, but don’t do anything with Matt or I’ll have to beat him up.”
“I won’t,” I smirked and we walked our separate ways. I met up with Matt in the parking lot, a lot more open to conversation now that my mind has somewhat cleared.
“Hey!” He said as he saw me and walked me to the car. He opened the door for me and backed out of the parking lot. “So, how was school?”
“Okay we’re going to need a better conversation than that,” I giggle, making him laugh too.
“Yeah you’re right I’m sorry. What are you doing later tonight?”
“Oh, apparently Jack’s favorite ice cream place...”
“Mr. Moo’s Dairy?” He asked finishing my line.
“Yeah, they have a new flavor coming out and Alex said he wants to take me and Jack to go try it, want to come with us?” He noticeably gripped the steering wheel tighter turning his knuckles white.
“No, I’m good. Maybe some other time."
“Yeah, sure I’d like that.” We arrived at my house and he opened the door for me again and gave me a lingering hug good-bye before backing out of my driveway and driving down the road. I smiled to myself and headed in for the house.