Never Look Back

“Oh my fucking God! This shit is like an orgasm in my mouth!” Jack screamed as he eagerly licked his ice cream cone. Alex and I laughed at him as he got stares and whispers; the new flavor was some Cheesecake and Chocolate and Vanilla stuff that actually tasted pretty good.
“Who’re you texting?” Alex asked, leaning over the top of my phone to read my messages. I looked up at him and backed away out of his view.
“Matt,” I said simply and he scoffed.
“Matt is worse than me at keeping relationships.”
I rolled my eyes and stuffed my phone back in my pocket and followed the boys out to the car. The whole drive home, Jack ranted on and on about how amazing their ice cream was and how the new flavor was going to change the world. Alex and I just exchanged smiles at his crazy thoughts and laughed along.
**
The next day at lunch the guys talked nonstop about how awesome the gig was going to be. I found myself excited but going mad at the same time, especially since we ended up having the photo shoot early that morning and the boys were anything but willing to get up that early and take pictures. It was the worst experience of my life and made me hate every single one of them.
“Oh man, we gotta rehearse beforehand or we’ll fuck up. Especially since that guy is coming to check us out for a deal,” Rian said looking around at everyone.
“Right after school? That’s the earliest till we have sound check and set-up and shit,” Alex suggested.
Matt shook his head, “no singing. Sorry Alex, you got to save your voice.” Alex groaned but didn’t argue probably thinking that he was right. I was impressed by how serious and mature they were about this. I suddenly felt the need to pee, as in if I didn’t get to a bathroom soon I was going to piss my pants. I stood up to leave for the toilets when Alex broke conversation and his head snapped over to look at me.
“Where are you going?” He asked.
“Bathroom, I’ll be right back,” he visibly relaxed and returned to the conversation and I headed for the bathrooms in the hall just outside the cafeteria. When I pushed back the door, three blonde heads stared back at me. I awkwardly shuffled to the stall before one talked to me.
“Hey…you’re a Barakat right?” The one in the middle asked me, looking at me through the mirror.
“Yeah, Alyssa.”
“You’re the one always hanging around Alex aren’t you?” She asked in a way I couldn’t tell if it was accusingly or just simply wondering.
I shrugged, “I guess but he’s just a friend of my brothers.”
She snorted, “Yeah whatever. You’re no different from the rest of them, he’s gonna charm you, get you, fuck you then leave you. The only difference with me is he keeps coming back because he can’t stay away.”
In any other circumstances I would have gave in and timidly slipped into the bathroom stall with my head bowed like a guilty puppy but for some reason God gave me courage I never thought I had to stand up to someone so much bigger than me, maybe it was frustration from so many people giving me shit lately.
“I don’t have feelings for Alex and I couldn’t tell you if he does for me but let me ask you this, does Alex take you out for ice cream, walk with you in the hallway, make a poem about you, make sure you’re okay constantly, carry your books for you, spend his open period in your class and make funny faces at you, drive you to school or even let you sit at his lunch table?” I asked pretending to be confused. “Or does he just have sex with you, leave you and never talk to you again until he thinks he’s ready for more?” Her eyes were wide with rage and she breathed deeply, I could just imagine the flames coming out of her ears.
I strutted out of there, the urge to pee had lost me and in its place adrenaline took over, it pumped through my veins and made me feel powerful as I sat back down at the table.
Not long later as I faced no more disruptions in lunch, the bell rang and Alex eagerly walked with me out of the cafeteria. Just to make matters even sweeter, we walked right passed the table where the three blonde girls were sitting and they all looked me up and down, the one who threatened me glaring at me when she noticed me walking with Alex. I gave her a smile and listened in on what Alex was telling me.
The rest of my classes went by smoothly and I was relieved to get to see Matt and go home finally.
“Ready?” He asked, grinning at me as I met up with him outside the front doors. I nodded and we walked to his car and he of course held the door open for me.
“So, how did the photo shoot go?” He backed up the bar and exited the parking lot onto the road.
“It went like a nightmare, but Colussy liked the little photos that I could capture so now I just got to figure out what I want to do for a poster.” I chewed my lip nervously, I still didn’t have a design figured out and it was only a matter of hours until the concert.
“I believe in you,” He said as if reading my mind and I laughed. He pulled into my driveway and let me out; he gave me a hug before headed back into the car and driving away.
I ran inside and readied myself for tonight, drawing sketches on sketches of designs until I found one and successfully got them all printed out. Patrick left a note saying he was doing overtime in work and that he’d hopefully make it in time for the concert.
I stretched my limbs and changed into a more formal baby pink razor back with black jeggings and black heel/boots with my hair left wavy and my bangs braided back. By the time I was presentable I had Jack banging on my door for me to hurry up. I opened the door to his eager and excited face and he ran out to the car as I followed slowly behind him, chuckling quietly to myself. As I made my way out of the front glass door I saw Alex sitting in the driver’s seat smiling up at me, I returned the smile and climbed into the backseat as Jack took the passenger.
“Ready?” Alex asked, looking at me from the mirror overhead. I nodded back to him and he drove to the studio to the site of the gig. It actually wasn’t that far away so I didn’t have to endure too much of Jack’s poor jokes and him and Alex arguing over some stupid video game that I was completely confused about.
When we arrived, Rian and Zack were already there setting up the stage, putting up signs, tuning guitars and air playing their instruments. Matt came out and barked at Jack and Alex for being late and immediately put them to work, I was shocked to see this serious side of Matt but once he made eye contact with me, he smiled.
Three hours later, the boys were on stage and the venue was packed with people, most of whom were teenagers. I had to elbow my way to the front, gasped a sigh of exhaust and relief when I finally made it and lifted up my camera to take a picture of the strikingly beautiful Alex Gaskarth face. He looked down, smiled and winked at me before looking back up at the crowd; I got that exact expression on film.
The venue was agonizingly small so people were shoving and sweating on each other as they swayed to the music. I could pick out some kids from school who I recognized, but didn’t talk to. I was thankful to be the photographer and getting my own special placement in the venue away from the body odor that wafted through the room. There was a reserved section for parents of the teenagers who came to watch who respectfully listened to Alex. Near those tables was a barista stand with assorted coffees and frappuccino’s.
I melted under Alex’s words and his beautiful voice, it was no wonder so many girls fell to his charm. For me all he would have to do is sing to me and I’d be sold. I wandered to another location to take more pictures of the boys as they played in unison. I never knew this many people would come and that they would actually like them. I snapped some shots of Zack and Rian on the right side of the stage and another with Alex and Zack. One of their songs had just ended as I walked to the other side to get some pictures of Jack, they started joking around and talking until they felt ready to start their next song.
“You all look great tonight!” Alex called into the microphone. “Thank you guys for coming out to hear us, we’re All Time Low!” The crowd cheered.
I’m gonna lose my virginity tonight for sure,” Jack spoke into the mike.
“I don’t believe you are a virgin Jack,” Alex replied.
“Yeah, I lied. I lost it to Mr. Huggins, my stuffed giraffe.” I laughed out loud remembering the little stuffed giraffe sitting next to his pillow on his bed, the crowd erupted in laughter too.
“Hey! I’d like you guys to meet Jack’s sister, the smart, funny, clever and very beautiful…Alyssa Barakat!” Alex called and pointed to me. All one hundred heads turned to look directly at me and my face flushed a crimson red.
“Alyssa, take a picture of the crowd for me,” Jack yelled and I held the camera up over my head toward everyone and snapped a picture. I pulled it back down and looked at it, most people made funny faces and some smiled big and others weren’t even paying attention. I gave Jack the thumbs up and he smiled.
“Nice! Thanks everybody!”
“This song is called Girl’s A Straight up Hustler!” Alex said running his words into Jack’s.