Once Bitten, Twice Shy

As she looked up at him, it was as if all the life had drained from his hazel eyes. That seemingly endless vitality and zest for adventure that had been so characteristic of James, one of the many reasons she’d fallen for him, was now gone, leaving only hollowness in its wake.

The young man that stood in front of her with pleading eyes was not the James Diamond she’d fallen in love with just a year ago. That James Diamond was dead and gone, and as much as Jenny wished she could return to the way things were, she knew there would be no going back.

She’d accepted it, even. James Diamond was dead, ripped from this world at the ripe age of seventeen.

The months she’d spent mourning his loss after that tragic car accident were irrevocable, and there was still times, even now, when she’d feel herself begin to lose grip on reality. Every little thing about him still haunted her: the songs he’d sing to her those nights they’d park by the old rock quarry (she could still hear his voice as clear as day when she tried to fall asleep at night), the way his eyes glowed like amber when he laughed, even the way-too-strong scent of forest pine Cuda body spray that always clung to his skin was forever embedded in her memory.

A thousand memories that she’d tried so hard to escape came washing over her in the instant he showed up at her door, suddenly back from the grave.

“Jen, it’s me.” No tears spilled down his cheek, but she could hear the tremble in his voice. “I know it’s hard to believe, but Doc Rocque brought me back.”

All she could do was stand there, utterly speechless, while eyes the color of the sea glazed him over and her mouth hung agape. Jenny knew she should feel something, fear, longing, relief, something, but she only felt numb. Completely devoid of any emotion, she felt like she was on the brink of waking up from a dream. Yes, this was all some sick, twisted dream her mind had conjured up just to torture her more.

“Jenny, it’s really me!” he claimed, and if she didn’t know better, she would’ve sworn he was more desperate to convince himself of the statement than he was to convince her.

“One…two….three,” she counted in her head as she tried to blink herself awake, but her surroundings failed to fade away.

Jenny shook her head, refusing to believe this was real, but just as she was about to close the door in his face, James grasped her wrist. It was something she couldn’t quite explain, but her kneejerk reaction was to yank her arm away.

Her fingers fluttered back to her wrist, instinctively rubbing the skin to ease some circulation back into the region. Cold, marble, danger. These words came to mind at the sensation of his fleeting touch. It wasn’t the warm and fuzzy feeling that used to cloud her senses while she was wrapped up in his arms or whenever she laced her fingers through his. This was strange, foreign, and unnatural.

The dead boy standing at her door was a statue. He was perfection embodied, more beautiful and magnificent than Michaelangelo’s David, but he wasn’t the same. From the goosebumps left behind by their brief contact, Jenny knew that he was no longer human, and the thought of someone transforming her James into a monster made her sick to her stomach.

But she fought the tears long enough to muster the crucial question. “What did they do to you, Jamie?”

His gaze fell to the floor, an undeniable shame shadowing his features as he scratched the back of his neck.

“Vampire venom.”

Jenny wasn’t naïve, she knew some of the monsters from the legends were real. Hell, in this day and age, everyone was aware of the creatures that walked among them, but she never thought the boy she’d loved so deeply would end up becoming one. But then again, nothing about their relationship had ever fit to her expectations.

But seriously, a vampire? She wasn’t sure how to wrap her mind around the concept: first, that the boy she’d loved, the very same boy she’d seen with her own two eyes lying in a coffin and pumped full of embalming fluids, was now one of the creatures she’d been told all her life to steer clear of, and then, that they could even attempt to possibly pick up where they’d left off. In rural Minnesota, there wasn’t as much of a paranormal threat as there was in the cities, and the most experience she had with the creatures of nightmares was purely hearsay. It was common knowledge to keep away from the forests after nightfall, and she’d heard gossip about crazy events that had taken place beneath many a full moon, but that was it.

Every cell in her body was urging her to escape, pushing her to run, and she could feel the scream building in the back of her throat, threatening to tear its way out. It was a primal reaction, adrenaline running rampant through her veins, but the more she studied him, the more she noticed traces of his old self buried beneath the altered exterior. He was sporting one of his old long-sleeved polos in a shade of rugged green, and Jenny remembered that it had been one of her favorites. The collar and hem were worn thin from constant wear, but the deep hunter hue had complemented his sunkissed complexion. Now, as he stood in front of her, the color made his skin appear granite gray, washed out, and she had to remind herself that blood no longer pumped through his veins to lend his cheeks that rosy flush. Once she was past the initial my-dead-boyfriend-is-a-vampire shock, a part of her had expected him to be dressed in traditional Dracula garb, but he was dressed in the same outfit he’d worn that last night before he’d left for California. It was a gesture that made her feel more comfortable around him, as she was sure was his intention all along. He probably didn’t need them, but James kept his square-framed glasses pushed up his nose, and despite the circumstances, Jenny couldn’t keep from smiling to herself. In spite of his own vanity, he’d always looked his best when he wasn’t really trying.

To say that she was conflicted would’ve been the understatement of the century. It felt like the James she’d known like the back of her hand and the James that stood before her were waging war inside of her. Her emotions served as the weapons, designed to tear her apart and make her doubt herself. She found herself longing for that instant when she’d first pulled open the door, because somehow, that dulling numbness was easier to deal with than the array of emotions battling for her attention now.

“So…do you…drink blood now?” she spat the words out as if they were laced with poison because even the thought of sweet-hearted James’s lips stained crimson with blood felt toxic. Corrosive, like it could wear her away from the inside out.

He kept his eyes downcast, but his reluctant nod confirmed her worst suspicions. “Can I at least come in? Maybe I could try to explain all of this to you. It’s not as bad as you think, Jen.”

Jenny stepped aside to let him in, but no words were exchanged between them as she trailed him to the sofa. Aquamarine eyes darted towards the next room. Her parents kept a gun loaded with silver bullets and a wooden stake stashed away in case of an emergency, but the thought of fearing James was so foreign, she knew that, if push came to shove, she’d never be able to do it.

This wasn’t the boy she’d fallen for, and truthfully, deep down, she knew he’d never be the same, but she couldn’t risk losing James. Not again.

“Okay…” he began, a nervous smile forming on his lips. “I guess I’ll just start from the beginning. You remember how the four of us were going to Hollywood to record our demo for that huge record company?”

She nodded.

“And you know about the accident…”

Jenny flinched at the rush of images, each one more devastating than the last as they flickered before her eyes like a projection reel.

“Well, Kendall was the only one that was able to survive the crash, due to….extraordinary…circumstances.”

She wasn’t sure what he was referring to, but she decided she’d rather not know. One horror movie monster was already more than she could process at the moment.

“Doc Rocque wanted to go ahead with the demo and market Kendall as a solo act,” James continued, “but he refused to do it without the three of us by his side, and…let’s say Doc Rocque is rather well known in Hollywood for his ‘reconstructive’ work…”

“So he turned you into a blood-sucking vampire?” It seemed like a bit of a stretch to her, but then again, she couldn’t say that she understood the music industry these days.

“Trust me, out of the three of us, I turned out the best,” he replied in his own defense. “You should see Carlos and Logan. Carlos can barely talk, and it’s all Logan can do to keep from falling apart.”

All she had left to give him was a half-hearted smile, and although he was unable to shake the statuesque quality from his features, she could see the pain in his eyes.

After the silence became too much to take, James managed to get out the words he’d been holding back the whole time. “God, I miss you, Jenny. You were the first person I had to see.”

Her eyes were lined with a million questions, and for a second, it was as if nothing had changed. James still had that amazing ability to read her like an open book. The transformation hadn’t changed that.

“When they brought me back, my one condition for staying in the group was that I could see you.”

As she listened to him continue to describe those first few waking moments of his resurrection, Jenny let her eyes fall closed. Without the new ashy complexion and sharpened incisors to distract her, she realized that the sound of his voice felt like home, the home she’d been searching for for months, ever since he’d left their small hometown for Los Angeles. It was the same voice that used to guide her into her dreams every night over the phone from Los Angeles, despite the time difference. It was the voice that, in hushed shouts, had been punctuated by the clunk of a pebble against her bedroom window all those nights they’d snuck out.

It was a voice she never thought she’d hear again.

His hand clasped hers, cold and uncalloused, and still it was the perfect gesture to steady her trembling thoughts.

No, she wouldn’t lose him again.

In that moment, she didn’t care so much about the technicalities or logistics of his change, she was simply grateful that he was here, so she cut him off with a kiss. The crash of their lips was impulsive, reckless, but it was a danger she knew she’d be unable to resist. Jenny just couldn’t let him walk out that door without at least trying to see if she could do this, if she could love him again in spite of what he had become.

At first, it felt as if they were just picking up where they’d left off all those months ago. There was that familiar pressure of his lips against her own, the earthy scent wafting from his skin, and for a while, the warmth that radiated from her skin was enough to counter his stony touch. For an instant, the two of them were back in his car, parked at the quarry, all endless kisses and foggy windows. But those marble lips were quick to leech the heat from her flesh, leaving goosebumps in their wake as they coursed down her neck. Jenny could feel that primal fear bubbling in her gut as his kisses traced along her jugular, but instead of pulling away, she found that the sense of taboo only edged her on even further, her fingers threading through his shaggy chestnut-colored hair.

Both of them were aware that, if they were going to try to make this work, there would always be this back-and-forth, give-and-take between them, that things would never be the same as they were before, but that shift was just another part of growing up.

James held her stare as he pulled away, fingers reaching for the hem of his shirt as he cautiously shed that first article of clothing. Even in the dim light, his skin possessed such a brilliant luster that could rival even the most exquisite diamond.