When Sadness Was the Sea, You Taught Me How to Swim.

*Kellin's P.O.V*

I wandered back into Vic's room. Knees weak, palms sweaty, and scared to go home. Or go to school.

Each step felt like I was lifting a thousand pounds with each leg. The echo of my footsteps only getting louder as it bounced from wall to wall. My aching head didn't make the circumstances any better, either. I wished I could tell myself that'd I'd never touch a drop of alcohol, but I knew the second I had the chance my lips would be wrapped around the tip of a bottle.

I let out a small groan, leaning to the wall beside me for support. My fingers wandered in front of me, acting like sensors since it was so hard to keep my eyes open. If I squinted any harder, they'd be shut.

Finally, thank the fucking Lord, I had reached the doorway.

"H-Hi," I mumbled out, catching the attention of both Fuentes brothers. "I f-feel like f-fucking shit."

"You look it." Mike smiles slightly, eyes flickering down to my neck. He's opened his mouth to say something, but I beat him to it.

"No, Micheal, your b-brother didn't b-beat the shit out of m-me." I tease. When in fact, I wish he had. It would give me an excuse not to find him so genuinely nice and sweet. It would give me an excuse to hate him. I had to save myself for Austin. But the thing was, did I even want him anymore?

I felt my stomach drop at the thought. It was unheard of. Anytime there was a Kellin, there was an Austin to go along with it. It was the two of us against the world. The Dynamic Duo. Romeo and Juliet. We were in love, and I couldn't change it. Even if I could, I wouldn't...right?

My knees crumpled and I slumped even further down, catching myself before my butt hit the floor too hard.

"Kellin!" Vic cried out, before running to me, and getting on his knees. "Are you okay? What the fuck happened?" He looked up to Mike, who had also arrived at the scene.

"He's probably sick, dude." Mike says. "Chill out, its more than likely that he still has a shitload of booze in his system."

"Kellin, how much did you drink last night?" Vic asks. His hands had reached mine by now, and were holding on tightly. He was holding onto me so firmly, it was like he thought that I was just going to slip through his fingers. I felt bad, but eventually, I would.

"Just a l-little bit." I tell him, wincing at the sudden pain in my ribs. Oh yeah, that's right. John had kicked the fuck out of me the other day. It was more than obvious that the bruises hadn't healed quite yet. And I didn't mine. It was just less work for me to perform by myself.

"Bullshit." Mike chuckles, and immediately stopping once Vic turned around to give him a death glare. Vic leant over, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me up to my feet, so I was leaning into him, my face pressed to his bare chest. Fuck, he was warm. No wonder I slept so well last night, I had my own personal heater.

"J-Juss' a little d-dizzy." I mutter into him, trying to pull away. I was okay, except for the fact that my head was spinning and it felt like my body had gone through a car compactor.

"Oh, Jesus Christ." Vic huffs under his breath. He sets me on his bed, carefully pulling the covers up to my chin afterward. "You should really tell us how much you drank so we can get you some things."

"Th-Things like what?" I ask. "I'm...o..o-okay." Well, that sure was fucking cool, Kellin. Lose your train of thought in mid-sentence. That's not suspicious. If it didn't hurt so badly, I'd roll my eyes.

"I think we should give him something to eat." Mike says, and I had to stop myself from jumping out of the bed and flinging myself out the window. Fuck the pain. I'd deal with that everyday for a thousand days before eating anything, by myself, or in front of people. Especially Vic.

"N-no!" I blurt out, unable to contain myself. Luckily, I had thought of a decent lie before anyone asked questions. "I'd probably...p-probably throw it b-back up again. I d-don't wanna w-waste anything." Well, at least it wasn't a straight-up lie. I WOULD throw it up. And it would either be the effects of binge drinking, or my fingers.

Vic sighs, sitting down on the bed. He places his hand on my lower thigh and gives it a faint squeeze. "Kells...are you sure you aren't hungry? Its really no big deal if you throw up...it isn't your fault."

"No, I'm...I'm okay." I say through a fake smile. "But, d-do you think you c-could do like o-one thing f-for me?"

Vic nods quickly. "Anything you need. Anything at all, I'll bring it to you."

I felt my cheeks go red, and I found Mike grinning as he looked down at us. "J-Just my phone, p-please."

Vic nods again, before getting off the bed. "Its in your pants pocket, right?"

"Yes," I reply, before sheepishly looking down at my legs when he handed my phone to me. "O-one more thing, Vic."

"What is it?" He asks, with that stupid perfect smile of his. With those stupid perfectly white teeth. And stupid perfect and soft lips. Fuck Vic for being so perfect.

"C-can you do s-something...k-kinda personal for me?"

"Well," Mike says loudly, making a huge scene as he winks at his brother. "I'd really love to stay around, but I'd prefer not to see either one of you naked." With one final smirk, he left the room, closing the door quietly. I waited until his footsteps had disappeared before speaking again.

"What is it?" Vic asks, still smiling at me. Oh God, how do I ask this without sounding so fucking weird?

"My, uh, r-ribs hurt really b-badly." I say, ripping my eyes from his gaze. "Can you, like, f-feel around? To ch-check if anything is b-broken?"

He nods carefully, and he pulls away the blanket slowly. "Do you wanna take your shirt off?"

I was blushing so hard it hurt. "I, uh, d-don't think I c-can bend m-my arm that w-way...Can y-you d-do it, p-please?"

"Of course I can. But you're gonna have to sit up for me, okay, beautiful?" He says, holding his hands out for me to take. Regretfully, I do, since there's no way in hell I'd be able to do it by myself. Well I could, but there would definitely be some screaming. But, to my surprise, Vic easily pulls me into a sitting position, and can't wipe his new shit-eating grin off of his face.

"W-what?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "Its, uh, nothing. Lift your arms up, please?"

I nod, doing as he asked. I can't help the sudden increase in my heart rate, as if I wasn't nervous enough. Have you ever tried to ask someone to take your shirt off? Well, its fucking mortifying. I watch every movement closely, watching the tips of his fingers grasp the hem of my shirt and begin to pull it up. My breath caught in my throat when I heard him hold back a gasp, and I expected the worse. Was I really that badly bruised? No shit, Kellin. If it hurts to breathe, you've obviously fucked something up.

"Well, how b-bad is it?" I ask carefully, trying to peer down and catch a look, but his hand stops me.

"Matches your neck," He says quietly, reaching his hand out and ghosting his fingers over my rib cage. That successfully sent a shiver down my spine. "Are you aware of how skinny you are?" Lucky for him I didn't have any liquid in my mouth, because I would have choked and spit it all over him. Now that, would be a shame.

"I'm not skinny, Vic." I say flatly, seeming to gain an ounce or two of courage. "I'm average, and perfectly normal just like any other teenage boy."

"No, honestly, I don't think you are." He says stubbornly. Two could play at that game. "Can I see your wrist for a second?"

I shook my head a little too fast. I had done this too many times. A natural instinct now. Only two people have seen my bare arms in several months. It was crazily shocking how I had managed to keep my dirty little secret for so long. But of course, the stupid Fuentes' had to find out. They dug up something that I'd been trying to bury for years.

"Uh, no." I said. I had to say it. He'd seen enough. When he thought of me, I didn't want the first thing he thought was scars, or blood, or anything dark. I wanted to be another person that made him happy. And as far-fetched as I made it sound, I was going to make it happen.

"Well, why the fuck not?" He asks, before he stops for a moment, to think. Realization hits, as his face drops. His lips are moving, but I'd zoned out by then. I just, sort of, stared at him. Like a fucking creep. I really hoped he wasn't getting too weirded out. A little bit, I would understand. I hoped he isn't strict about stuff like that. Like staring, or poking, or I don't fucking know. I just didn't want him to think of me as a huge creep, or some shit like that. Wow, Kellin, way to worry about what other people think. I had promised myself I'd try to stop doing that.

My thoughts go right to the fact that I can't take off a single bracelet. Seeing Vic's disgusted reaction would only break my heart even more than it already was. But, I couldn't help but take a second glance at the voice in my head telling me that I could trust him. That he would understand. For once in my life, I decided that I needed to take a risk. Vic was too good to lose. There was no way in hell that I was letting this one slip through my fingers the way I did with Austin. He was different. He IS different. Everything that Austin isn't, yet still missing some of the vital points that I love about Austin. Why do I keep thinking back to him? He's in Michigan, and I'm...well, here. What seemed like a million miles away minutes ago, now seemed like mere blocks. I didn't miss him that badly, and I didn't feel so empty with Vic at my side. Vic could be my everything, my new heart. A new life.

But, every good side has a bad one trying to take over. As always, there was that one negative part of me that was telling me the same old shit it had told me when I first dated Austin. I'm not good enough, ugly, weird, fat, etc. Things I already knew. Things I embraced, and was willing to spend a life time trying to correct. Shitty as this sounds, perfection was gold. Hell, I don't even need to be one-hundred percent 'Barbie and Ken' perfect. All I ever wanted was to be able to look in the mirror, and smile back at what I saw. And until I drop dead, I will strive for it.

"Kellin?" Vic's cute little chuckle thing breaks me out of my thoughts. "You okay there, buddy?"

I blink. "Y-yeah...I'm fine." It wasn't a total lie.

"I just wanted to apologize," He blushes. "I know how you feel about...about your arms. I shouldn't have pushed you and-"

"Its okay." I smile at him, trying to lighten the mood. "No harm, no foul."

His eyes brighten. My stomach clenches. "Hey! You didn't stutter!"

I nod. "I only do it when I'm nervous."

"Good to know." He smirks. Oh fuck. Maybe I could've kept that to myself? Either over thinking, or not thinking at all, there is no in between.

Vic opens his mouth to say something else, but jumps instead when his door is thrown open.

"Well, hello ladies." Tony grins, walking in. I had a feeling that this was very like him to just arrive unannounced. Well, Mike was trailing in behind him. Obviously he invited him over. Not like I minded.

"Holy shit, Vic!" Tony beams, staring at me. "There's a ghost in your bed!"

"Oh, fuck you." I groan, reaching behind me and throwing a pillow at his face. Thank Fuck he was too busy laughing, and I hit my target, spot on. I heard an 'Oof' and when the pillow fell to the floor, I was met with a glaring Mexican boy. Vic and Mike burst out laughing.

"How dare you hit my beautiful, wonderful boyfriend right in his fucking face!" Mike says through giggles, and Tony punches him lightly in the stomach.

"Ouch!" Mike whines, frowning at his boyfriend.

"Don't be a little bitch, I didn't even hit you that hard." Tony rolls his eyes before walking over to the bed and sitting on the other side of Vic, closest to me.

"How ya doin', Kell?" He asks, smiling warmly.

"I'm okay," I reply, doing my best to return that genuine smile. "I hurt a little bit here and there, but other than that I'm pretty happy."

"Well that's good." He says, and Vic nods. Tony looks to him. "You look pretty pleased with yourself, you little bastard."

Vic shrugs, a grin plastered onto his face. "I saw a chance and I took it."

"While he was intoxicated?" Mike asks, closing the door before coming over and plopping himself onto Tony's lap. Tony sighs.

"Guess so." I mutter, looking up smiling at Vic. "S'alright, though. I usually stick to sweatshirts anyway."

"I can see why." Tony says, frowning as he looks down at my scar-ridden arms. "They contrast with your skin." I knew he was talking about my scars, and for once, I didn't really mind. They were my friends, and they deserved to know at least a little bit about my personal life. But, he was right. My skin was practically the color of milk, and the dark pink scars did no justice. I silently wondered if they would ever fade.

"And those ribs." Mike says, and I notice all eyes are practically burning holes into me. I was going to be good about this. They were curious, I was willing to answer questions, give explanations. They were amazing friends to me, and I wasn't going to lose them over one of my personal fuck-ups.

"Kellin," Tony asks, suddenly growing deathly serious. "Do you...eat?"

"No."