Fighting Feelings

Ashley P.O.V

" Ashley, 5 min Break before we start Recording" My manager yelled while I sat in the studio trying to finish this song I was working on. Its been a whole since Marshall and I first had sex, he stayed at mine till late as we sat and talked about things. We hung out three times in the same week after that night but since we both had our children last week and different individual commitments we haven't seen each other for the past week, but that didn't mean we haven't talked, we have been constantly keeping in touch through text message as we spent the week doing our own thing.

Its nice to have this casual relationship forming between us, surprisingly the sex doesn't make it complicated nor does it seem to become the most dominant thing that happens between us, Yes we tend to have sex a lot when we see each other, but its more like have sex, talk/hang out, maybe have sex again, Eat, more hanging out and maybe end our time with sexual pleasure but that all depends on how much time we have together. Since its already the end of February Marshall's album is getting closer to being released, that means he has a few hectic weeks coming up with preparation, leaving barely anytime for us to hang out. My manager is also getting me to commit to a lot of things as well , like interviews, Photo-shoots and planning my new Album, well its not really planning when your manager has already set a release Date, now I just have to write actually songs for the album and make sure its up to my perfection before being released, At least she has given me 5 minutes to have break and call Marshall to hang out tonight.

Marshall: Hey, just thinking about you

Me: You were, Aww how sweet.

Marshall: Yeah well I have tonight free, Wanna hang out. We can grab some take out for dinner?

Me: Yeah that sounds wonderful, your house or Mine?

Marshall: well since you finish before me, do you want me just to come to yours, I can grab dinner on the way over?

Me: yeah that sounds good. Say 7 ish?

Marshall: I'll be there

Me: cool, well I better go I only have 5 mins

Marshall: Alright, well I will see you tonight.

Marshall P.O.V

As always a huge smile was on my face after hanging up from speaking to Ashley. Its was quite a busy last week, with having the girls and work so it was going to be good to really chill out and relax tonight with Ashley, plus I know Ashley is going to need the relaxation I can already imagine how much her manager is pushing her, I still cant get over that she has already planned a release date without Ashley even having any songs recorded for it. I do feel sorry for Ashley I know her manager is pushing her a lot back into the spotlight without even asking Ashley, its like her way of punishing Ashley for recording love the way you lie with me, as much as I am happy and grateful she did record the song with me because it turned out amazing, I just hate that her manager is still holding it against her, I cant even begin to imagine what she would do if she found out that Ashley and I are not only hanging out but also sleeping with each other.

Before I know it, almost 6 hours had passed so quickly and I am back at Ashley's house where I was a couple of weeks ago with hot Nando's in my hand ready to have a relaxing night in with Ashley.

"Hey" she said softly after answering the door, as she stood there holding the door I can already see the exhaustion and tiredness of her.

" Hey, big day I see" I commented while walking in wrapping my free arm around her and pulling her close allowing me to place a tender kiss on her forehead.

" Pretty Hectic, what about yours?" she asked looking up at me and smiling while wrapping her hands around my waist, I have to admit I'm a pretty short guy but I love that Ashley is a few inches smaller than me, it allows me to pull her close and rest my arms on her shoulders without any problem or stain, she just fits perfectly in my arms.

" yeah Pretty busy, just album shit." I replied while she closed the door before walking into the kitchen/ family room.

" so I got us Nando's" I said as she went to the cupboards and began getting the plates and cups ready.

" I got us some chicken and some chips but I also got some salads since I know your on that stupid diet and probably wont eat the chips" I smirked once again referring to her diet as stupid. Since hanging out with her I have made it pretty clear that she doesn't need to be on any diet and that she is perfect the way she is, however I actually have started noticing that she isn't sticking to it to much when she is with me.

" Aww thankyou, so how much do I owe you." she asked smiling sweetly at me while getting the food ready, I can tell she is trying to cover up her tiredness and exhaustion with her smile but I can see it all in her eyes that the amount of work she Is doing is wearying her out.

" Nothing, but if you want you can give me a kiss" I joke seeing that we still haven't kissed this evening, its weird when you usually hear about people being fuck buddies or friends with benefits it means that you have casual meaningless and usually non affectionate sex then as soon as your done you go back to being normal every day friends, but with Ashley and I its different we tend to be affectionate towards each other all the time kissing and hugging, it doesn't matter if we have sex or not its just the way we are and where comfortable with that. Sometimes we don't even have sex, we just hang out and enjoy each others company, so I guess you say we are affectionate like a normal couple but we just don't have to deal with the whole Jealousy, trust and commitment issues that come with being in a proper relationship.

" I guess I can do that" she flirted back before stepping closer and wrapping both arms around my waist allowing me to do the same as our faces leaned in closer and eventually meeting each others lips, at the start it started of with just a soft kiss but the more we rested and moulded into each others arms the more it got heated and before we know it I am sliding my hand up and gently cupping her face while exploring her mouth with my tongue. I honestly could stay here for a while just enjoying the moisture of her lips and the faint taste of her mint lip gloss, and by the small moans that have escaped her mouth I am guessing she can as well, but we all know that food is a source of energy and I think we are going to need some for tonight.

" come on dinner will get cold" she whispered after breaking apart but still resting out foreheads together as she took my hand and the dinner and lead us to the lounge that sat In front of a wide plasma that was playing some kind of Drama show.

" so we can watch movie or just flick through the channels, Up to you?" she asked as we both sat down on the lounge and got comfortable within each other.

" Lets just see what's on, but I'm in charge of the remote, I know you like to tend to watch all those reality chick flicks" I joked taking the remote from her hands and smiling at her little chuckle to herself. It only took a few little different options to we finally agreed on the right show, I think we agreed with Modern Family I wouldn't usually watch it at home but it was the best thing on and besides from the tiredness of me and Ashley I can tell we wont be watching it for much longer.

" Want a chip?" I asked starting to hold up a chip above her, automatically she started laughing and playfully pushing my hand away, but she knows I am not giving up that easy.

" come on look how good they look, all greasy and covered in chicken salt. So yummy!" I joked, playfully hovering over her and holding her down lightly so she couldn't escape my grip, within seconds we are laughing and joking around as she tries to catch her breath from laughing so hard, eve though we were so tired and exhausted from work, it was like as soon as we started playing all the tiredness vanished.

" Fine.... Fine" she laughed trying to push my hand away from tickling her as the other one tried to feed her some chips.

" if I have some will you stop? " she asked, realising the only way I was going to stop tickling her if she was to eat the greasy food that her manager forbids her to even go near. I do feel sorry for her, the way I see it is you should be allowed to eat any foods you like since you only live once, the way you should do it is eat healthy most of the time but still have some treats and bad foods.

" yep sure will, Here you go" I laughed, handing her the chicken coated chips and watching while she actually enjoyed eating them, which I knew she would that's one of the reasons I didn't give up on her, I know she is just afraid to eat in front of people because she thinks everyone judges her and wants to change her like her manager does, but with me she doesn't have to be afraid to eat some bad unhealthy shit. I know exactly how she feels, I used to eat bad things 24/7, there were stages where I would get people to go down and buy my takeaway food while I sat enclosed in my home, but these days I can maintain and balance my good and bad food habits.

We casually played and joked around for a while before relaxing again on the couch and started watching the movie that played after Modern Family, I think I have seen the movie before when Nathan hired it from the video store but neve really got into it and fully watched it properly, and I knew tonight wasn't going to be the night that I did watch all of it because with the rate this exhaustion is taking over I don't think I am going to make it through half and hour.

Just like I suspected, I think it was within 10 minutes my eyes began to close and the sleep began to take over my body. I don't know if it was me who fell asleep first of if it was Ashley, but by the time I opened my eyes and checked my watch I realised we had only been sleep for nearly an hour and by the looks of the movie it was just beginning to get good. Honestly even though I had woken up the exhaustion was still there and I was still very tired and sleepy, looking down at Ashley who laid between my legs I saw that she was also fast asleep and probably didn't get to see any of the movie as well, I could have sat there all night just watching her peacefully sleep, for once you can see that there was no worry or anxiety on her face, like for once she wasn't worrying about her weight or her appearance, for once she was peaceful and calm. I didn't want to wake her but I knew it would be much more comfortable in her bed, so slowly I lift her gently and quietly unclasp our arms and hands that were entwined together over her chest before getting up from the lounge and lowering her back down hoping not to disturb her sleep.

Luckily all she did was stir a little before getting comfortable in a new position, allowing me to go off into her room and get the bed ready for her, I could never admit it to Ashley but I actually like Taking care of her and doing these small things for her, even though Ashley isn't my girlfriend I like looking after her and being affectionate to her without having all the problems that come with Relationships, I know that everyone sees me as the hard cold hearted rapper, but deep down I like being affectionate and caring towards someone that deserves it.

As I gently picked her up I started to feel her stir in my arms,

" Fuck, did I fall asleep on you?" she mumbled into my chest before lifting her head and rubbing her eyes trying to get the tiredness to disappear.

" haha yeah you did but don't worry I fell asleep as well, it must have been that dam Movie" I joked softly while placing her under the covers of her bed and lifting the blankets back up, as soon as I saw her move her hair away I realised that she was still fully dressed.

" Before you sleep, let me get these so you don't choke during the night" I whispered as I started to unclip her necklaces and bracelets, everything about her is perfect there are no marks or blemishes on her skin, she has perfect manicured nails, she has just the right skin tone, everything is perfect, I just wish she would see the perfectness as well. As I continued taking her necklaces of I could tell she was waking up more and becoming more conscious.

" If you want to feel me up or you have to do is ask" she giggled taking my hand that is struggling to unclasp this one necklace and moving it down to her breast that was only covered by this thin blouse, when she placed my palm on her breast I noticed that she was wearing a lacy bra and I couldn't help but smile and get a little turned on, I'm guessing she was expecting something to happen tonight since we have sex every time we hang out together.

" Yes but you were asleep remember" I replied making sure to squeeze it gently before sliding my palm down her stomach while leaning In and giving her a small passionate kiss and a few pecks on her neck while she laughed at my comment.

" goodnight Ashley" I randomly said lifting my head up and making sure she is tucked in before I start leaving the room, I know I was more than welcomed to stay the night but since she is half asleep I didn't want to just stay without her being aware of it. Since this is a really friendly casual Relationship she might think that if we start actually staying over at each others houses that it might start involve into something else which would be to quick for her after her relationship and honestly I don't think I am ready for any relationship.

I couldn't really understand what she mumbling while drifting of to sleep and as I left her bedroom making sure to close her bedroom door, I quietly cleaned up the mess we made in the lounge room before heading home myself for a very overdue sleep.

As I drove home I couldn't manage to get Ashley's sweet face out of my mind, the way she laughed at basically everything and the way she softly mumbled every now and than in her sleep, but the more I thought about her the more I was getting angrier at myself, I shouldn't be feeling this way. My whole view on her was changing and that's not a good thing, One of the reasons it was so easy to start this casual relationship was because I thought by now I would have started seeing negative things in her that I didn't like, or sides to her that every female has, I thought it would make me see why Its was good to swear of serious Relationships with Females, like it was going to reassure me that I made the right decision to never be in another serious relationship ever again because at the end of the day they all end up in heartbreak. But that's not what's happening, I'm not seeing the mood swings, or the outburst or the clinginess I was expecting to see, all I have been seeing is a generally caring, strong, independent woman that makes sure everyone is looked after before she even focuses on herself and a woman that makes me smile and happy whenever I am with her.

This scares me, there is no way I can actually begin falling for Ashley, I might have some attraction to her but I have figured outs that's all to do with the lust for her, I cant actually begin falling for her personality and begin to have actual deep feelings for her. There is no way Paul would be happy about that not to mention the anger her manager will display, Two massive celebrities like Ashley and I starting a relationship will just turn into some hectic Disaster. One of the most important things I care about it is my girls and having a private life, that would be flipped upside down if anyone was to ever find out about Ashley and I, that's why we keep it between us two and always go to each other's houses mostly at night and never go to hotels or restaurants, just in case some freak paparazzi follows and finds out about our secret, I cant even tell Fifty who is one of my closest friend.

To the outside world Eminem and Ashley aren't connected in any way, they aren't friends that are spotted shopping together regularly, they have only been pictured posing together a few a times throughout their entire careers when they were at very public events, nor have they collaborated together prior to the new Single Love the way you lie that is about to come out. This would be the first time Eminem and Ashley are even used in the same sentences or song title, and I'm just hoping this single doesn't shed any unwanted spotlight on the both of us and drag us into a world of Rumours, conspiracies or theories.

:)

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