Fighting Feelings

Let's just say that we have finally gotten into a really good routine with this whole hooking up thing, these days we are able to just know when it's the best time or when it's getting to risky, even if there are days where one of us are too tired to actually have sex and stay up all night doesnt mean we still dont keep them company. I have come to the conclusion that this is what Half of the arrangement is all about, I know the sex is a big part but I believe the whole aspect of keeping each other Company and actually having someone to talk to is one of the reasons we get along so well and keep running back to each other for more. Being in the spot light gets hard and lonely very fast, so to know you have someone else that is as big as you just takes of that little bit of Pressure and loneliness even if it is for one night or so.

" So after going through possible dates we have organised for you guys to do a surpsie performance of Love the way you lie at the Electronic Expo, since Eminem is Headlining it" Paul said from the opposite side of the conferance Table. Since Both my manager Chrisitne and Marshall's manager Paul are in Detroit they decided to schedule a meeting with Marshall and I and some other other important guys to Organise upcoming Dates for the Production and promotion of the single,Love the way you lie. Which Marshall and I both didnt mind since we are hanging out later on today anyway.

" I just suggested having Marshall do a surprise appearance at one of your Concerts but Chrisitne said that it will be better if you do it at Electronic Expo, it will work out better for you." Paul continued giving me a quick glance to show he is referring to me. As soon as he says Christine I start to become suspicous because I know Christine only looks out for the best publicity and doesnt give a shit about me.

" so The Elecronic Expo is on the 14th of June" I confirmed before sliding my apoitment book over to me and having a quickl glance at it. Straight away I see that once again she is only looking out for herself and nothing to do with me.

" Everything Alright?" Marshall asked probably noticing the concern that had come over my face. Honestly I dont get wh Christine does this, she must think I'm like a robot or something.

" Yeah its just I'm in Europe the week before and I'm not supposed to be back until the 16th" I mumbled while studying my appoitment book, hoping Christine will hurry up and explain how she is planning on doing this and making me back in time for this Expo.

" Dont worry Ashley I have worked it out , If we move those two london Interviews across, than we can head straight over to Ireland for your performance, than hop back over to london straight away so you can do your last two interviews. Than right after your last performance we will hop onto the plane and head to the Exp. You can rehearse before we go to Europe, because we will arrive like an 1hour before you go on stage, giving us enough time to get you ready" Christine eplained, making me feel exhausted just listening to her. She has managed to squeeze basically one week into 3 days.

" is this even possible?" I asked soundoing very shocked and astonished that it is even possible to do this much work and performances in such a short time.

" yeah of course, you will just miss out on some sleep thats all" She laughed back, not actually realizing that I am not keen on this plan, but by the looks of it Chrisitne has done a lot of reaserach and planning into this.

" Hey if its not convienent it doesnt matter we can always reschedule. I dont want you to try to fit it all in" Marshall said softly from across the table, to everyone it probably just sounded like a friendly gesture but as I looked at him I can tell he is actually very concerned about me because he knows what Chrisitne is like.

" She'll be fine wont you? and hey if she gets a little tired she can always take something to keep her awake" Chrisitne said before I even got the chance to reply to Marshall considerate gesture, I couldnt belive Christine would say something like that esically towards him, its like she knew he was clean and how much he hates drugs. He didnt reply to her nasty comments he just glanced at me and tried to reassure him not to listen to her and that I would never consider taking drugs without anyone around us noticing that our relationship goes beyond work.

" Yeah I'll be fine and besides it works on my benefit anyway because if I cramp it all in that means I can have a coupe of weeks off, which also means that she doesnt get paid for at least three weeks." I joked while pointing and referring to Chrisitne. I can already see that Christine nearly looses her temper from my little comment as I already know how much she hates haivng days off where she can't get paid. Both Marshall and I can't help but chuckle quietly as we see her fuming in anger.

We both sit there giving each other cheeky looks as both of us managers seen to be discussing the final plans for our duet together even though its still a long time before we even shoot the music video for it. I understand that they want everything to be organized but I hate that my manager who once hated the thought of me doing this song is now making sure everything is perfect and that without a doubt this single will go ahead, I guess she sees how much money and popularity it's going to receive because she finally has noticed how popular Eminem is at the moment. In a way this totally suck, to think she only wants me doing duets with popular people and not because of the meaning behind the lyrics.

" Are you sure your fine with these dates, Paul won't mind changing them" Marshall whispered as we sat back at the table while both of our managers were on the phone organizing things for this single. You have no idea how grateful I am to have Marshall as a friend because just somehow he noticed the pain that I hide behind my smile and how bothered I get from my manager comments.

" yeah don't worry about it. I'm sure everything will work out" I replied smiling to show him that I wasn't to concerned on how much sleep I'm not going to get, I know I'm lying it's just Marshall has enough to worry about and doesn't need to anymore problems to deal with.

"But thanks anyway" I added smiling showing him I really am grateful for him thinking about how I feel instead of just seeing the money and publicity involved in this. Marshall smiled back before quickly getting up and heading over towards Paul, I started wondering if I have said something wrong since he barely looked at me before walking away, but just when my mind started to wander of and mentally slap me and assume all these things Marshall began walking back over towards me and not saying anything but instead nodding his head to follow him out of the meeting room.

I actually didn't know what to do or to say, should I tell my manager where I'm going or should I just follow Marshall and see where he went, but when I look over at her and seeing she is bickering with someone on the phone while Paul looks on totally confused about the whole thing I realize it's best to just follow Marshall and to stop over thinking things.

So smiling over at Paul who has glanced back at me I get up and begin walking towards the door taking one last glance before opening it and walking out.

" Took you long enough" Marshall smirked before grabbing my hand and walking across the open warehouse studio till we reached his recording room.

"Marshall we're goin....." I started to say but was quickly shut up by Marshall who smashed his lips to mine after he closed and locked the door. Straight away I knew what he bought me in for and just by feeling his lips on mine, all the worry about getting caught was soon pushed behind allowing me to enjoy this moment of intimacy with him since we haven't been able to spend a lot of time together.

" Don't worry I told Paul to call me if they want to see us. I am apparently showing you a new song that I want your opinion on" he laughed after taking a few seconds to reassure me that we aren't going to get caught or anything. Feeling a tad relieved that no one is going to walk in on us I can't help but start kissing again.

The moment of innocent kissing soon developed into a more heated scene with groping and passionate kissing as I sat on a table with Marshall standing in between my legs, enjoying each other as we made up for the past couple of weeks without being intimate with each other.

Since I only had a dress on it was easy for Marshall to develop the scene into a more Erotic one, because within seconds he was pleasuring me with his fingers before involving it into oral as well. As much as I was starting to worry that someone was going to hear my moaning and swearing every time he found my clit with his tongue, I couldn't help but let the pleasure take over and allow Marshall to have his way with me.

Knowing we only had a little while before someone became suspicious I tugged on him and looked down at his eyes that were plastered on mine, straight away he knew I want I wanted, so within a few quick seconds we had travelled of the table and over to the back wall allowing us more stability and control over our moves.

I already can tell by Marshall's face as I lightly tug down his pants and touch him that he is already really close to losing it and I can see the lust in his eyes as He lifts me up and sinks into me fully making our bodies become one.

I don't know if I am just seeing things but Marshall loves kissing while having sex, he isn't the type to just thrust in and out, he always seems to love our bodies being connected all the way up, from his hands softly tracing up my upper body to his lips that kiss every inch of my body from my shoulders and up. I have never met a guy who loves to make me feel good in every way rather than just making my Lower half feel good and I guess today is no exception, even though we are doing a quickie in his recording room he still manages to show the same affection he shows when we spend hours lying in bed, sometimes when I closed my eyes I would forget we are in the same studio that we recorded our first song, and even though I know he has probably done it a million times in this studio with numerous girls I still like it how he makes me feel like I'm the only one.

" Shit..... Ashley .... I don't think I.... can hold off anyyy.... longer....." Marshall moaned softly into my ear as his thrust became more sloppy showing me he is close to cumming. Even though i'm still not there yet and ready to cum I still push forward and making him come closer to releasing.

"Ashley ..... I.." he stuttered looking at me in the eye, showing me his concern and how much he doesn't want to finish without getting me off as well, but I just simply smile at him

" Just let go" I said after seeing how much he is trying to hold off, hit honestly I don't care if he doesn't get me off because as corny as it sounds he has made me feel wonderful this entire time and I know there will be other times for us.

" Oohhh... fuck" he moaned after thrusting a couple more times before he came, obviously taking not of what I just said and letting the pleasure and moment take over his body. Just like always we stay connected for a few seconds as he gathers himself up and comes down from his High, before disconnecting our bodies.

" Shit.... sorry...." he apologized after realizing he finished before I even got the chance to cum.

" Marshall don't worry about it" I stated while fixing my crinkled clothes and pulling my dress back down, making sure to smile and show him that it's fine.

" At least let me finish you off " he said while trying to close the gap between us. As much as i would be happy with him finishing me off I knew that Christine would be looking for me.

" Marshall it's fine, besides someone is probably already looking for us" I smiled trying to show him that it's fine that he finished before me, I have no idea why he is apologizing I know there is nothing to worry about since we can spend hours doing it, it's just today wasn't the best day and majority of it was probably my fault I guess being worried about getting caught played apart in it all.

" Whatever, your probably right" he mumbled while fixing his pants up. I could tell he was a tad embarrassed about it all.

Looking up at each other I thought he was going to give me a few more kisses like he always does after we have sex but instead I could barely get him to look at me in the eye

" I'll call you later" he said after turning and making his way towards the door, not even having the courage to look at me and instead walking out of the studio making sure to slam it behind him, leaving me standing there confuses as hell, but more importantly sad and hurt from his actions. I can't believe we just had sex and he left right after barely noticing me.

Tears came to my eyes thinking about how he just used me to get off and than treated me like I was nothing and made me feel like a piece if shit. All of the amount of times we have done this he has never made me feel this low or treated me like a toy.

I knew I had to get out of this dam studio before I was about to break out crying, right away he has made me feel like my ex has bringing up so many memories that I didn't want to resurface.

Marshall P.O.V

Now that wasn't meant to go down like that. why the hell did I just leave without even giving her a goodbye, that's not how this friendship is meant to be.

" Well if we've finished here, I would like to go" Ashely said to her manager after making her way back into the meeting room, just like I had a few seconds before her. Not even looking at her for more than a few seconds I can tell she is devastated and crushed which she has every right to be. I treated her more like a toy than an actual human. I am ashamed to even look at her.

" well you came with me and Um well I still have a few things to sort out here. mind waiting" her manager replied sounding quite stunned that sarah is keen to get out of here. Jut looking at her I can tell she is on the merge of crying and it kills me to know I caused those tears.

" Don't worry I don't mind walking, I can use some fresh air" she replied before turning round and walking towards the door not giving her manager a Chance to reply. it crushed me even more to see how desperate she was to get out of here and seeing her walk out of the studio made me relapse I needed to fix this.

As much as i wanted to get up and follow her right away I knew that would be to suspicious with Paul and Christine so unfortunately I had to wait for a few minutes after until I could announce I was heading of as well.

Driving down the street I am relieved that she hasn't gotten to far knowing these streets aren't safe for someone as pretty as Ashley , I don't think I would have been able to sleep knowing she walked home all that way. As I made my way up to her, seeing the tears in her eyes as she looked up at me made my heart sink.

" Go away" she stated while continuing to walk bit bothering to even look at me.

" You know I'm not going to do that. please can you just get in?" I pleaded hoping she wasn't going to continue to be stubborn but since she is Ashley Ann I know it's going to take a lot more than a small plead.

" Why so you can use me again and than leave like I'm nothing" she replied finally letting the tears go and show all the Sadness that she has been keeping inside.

" Seriously just get in, you know I will stop and drag you in here if I have to. come on it's about to rain" I stated showing her how serious I am about her getting in. Even though I am meant to be apologizing at this stage I had to be stern to show her that I am not fucking around.

" Fine but only because it's about to rain" she said before opening my passenger door and jumping in, crossing her arms like a little girl showing me how angry she is which made me giggle to myself.

We drove in silence for a few minutes while I tried to figure out how to start the conversation and figure out how to show her how sorry I am.

" Look I'm really sorry about before , I didn't mean to walk out like that after we finished. I was just really embarrassed" I finally apologized when we stopped at a red light, the one thing I love about my car is the tinted windows you can drive all around town and no one can see you, or know who else you are with.

" You're embarrassed!!.. what about me how hurt and embarrassed I am. " sHe yelled back so I got the hint about how she was feeling. I already knew I had stuffed up and probably made her sad since the moment I walked out of the studio.

" I know okay, you have no idea how bad I feel about treating you like that, but I swear I didn't mean too" I argued losing my cool just like she has. Here we are in a car and practically arguing like an actual couple while everyone else is oblivious to anything that is going on.

" I felt you used me like a fuckin toy" she mumbled after calming down, but becoming more emotional about it all. just hearing the sadness in her voice made my heart sink and all I wanted to do was make her feel better. so turning at the light I made my way down a street until I was able to pull over and actually talk to her properly.

Placing car in park I quickly unclasped my seatbelt and leaned over taking her face in my hands and kissing her passionately before she even had a chance to protest, but luckily as she felt my lips on her she didn't pull me off but instead started enjoying the kiss.

" You're not a toy to me Ashley, and I don't want you to think that I'm only using you for sex, because trust me if I needed to use someone for sex I have contacts." I whispered as I took a few seconds from kissing her, gently wiping her years as I looked into the hurt eyes that I had caused.

" Look I am really sorry about before. I guess I was so angry and embarrassed" I continued explaining hoping she understood how deeply sorry I am and how much guilt I am feeling right now. even though I have done that numerous times to women, Ashley was different she is like one of my best friends and the sex is just a bonus because we know how hard it is to have relationships in the spotlight.

" Why but Marshall, why were you so embarrassed?" she asked while taking my hands in hers, tying to get me to open up about everything. I know walking out before was a way to avoid the conversation but I guess after all the hurt I have caused she deserves some explanation.

" Because Ashley, I finished before I could even satisfy you. Do you know how that makes a guy feel. why didn't you even let me finish you off? " I explained hoping she started to understand how much your confidence gets shut down from finishing so quickly.

" Yeah Marshall but we had to be quick. I didn't want you wasting your time giving me head just to make sure I got off" she replied smiling to try and show me everything is alright how she isn't worried about getting off, but she just doesn't seem to understand where I'm coming from.

" But maybe I wanted too, maybe I wanted to get you off. Have you ever thought about that" I argued making her face go sad again as she quickly took her hands from mine and face back round to the front.

" Look..... this sex agreement we've got going on, I don't want you to think it's just about pleasuring me. I don't just have sex with you just to get off, I like making you feel good" I tried to ease the tension between us and calm the situation down hoping she sees where I'm coming from and sees how hard This is to talk to her about this situation.

" So can we promise each other in the future if we have sex we don't stop until we both cum" I joked seeing the smile appear on her face, knowing I have eased the tension.

" Well what happens if it takes ages." she joked while turning her face towards me And showing me how she is finally happy.

" Well than we will have sex for ages and take it as a challenge to get the person off" I smirked smiling towards her and seeing that she is over our argument.

" Fine I promise" was all she said. Her smile just making me lean over to her side and give her a kiss which quickly turned into a make out session while we were parked outside some randoms home. imagine if they knew that two of the biggest stars were in the car hooking up and talking about there sex lives, the things they could tell the press.

After hooking up for a while I started the car back up and began driving to the main road again.

" Want to grab some lunch? " I asked turning towards and grabbing her hand that was in her lap and just holding it softly while we were stuck in some traffic.

" Yeah sounds good" she replied smiling even though she knew by lunch I just met some crappy take out from a drive through since no one knows about our friendship.

I drove to a nice lookout after grabbing our takeaway hoping to make it a tad nicer than just plain eating in the car, but I guess when your with Ashley it doesn't matter where you are, you'll always seem to enjoy yourself.

It is nice seeing her happy and smiling again, knowing that the sadness had gone and she is actually enjoying my company.

We didn't flirt much while having lunch, in matter of fact I don't think sex was ever mentioned again, we instead acted more as close friends talking about family and general things. We talked about how good love the way you lie is going to be when it comes out and even maybe a potential part 2 but from her point of view. She told me that she is doing a few concerts that are coming up and that they want to do one here in Detroit, her manager thinks it will be good press to do it in the place she now calls home, but as she told me I could hear the uncertainty in her voice, it's not like she doesn't love Detroit but I don't think she wants to express it to the world and let them know she has moved here, one of the reason she did is because she wanted more privacy and she knows she isn't going to get that if she tells the entire world.

" Marshall, your phones ringing" she said which I was hoping she didn't notice was ringing in the back. Straight away I recognized the special allocated ringtone that is blasting and straight away I start to worry.

" Sorry, this won't take long" I said as I stopped the foot massage I was giving her to answer my phone.

Ashley P.OV

I'm glad that Marshall and I have sorted things out, I guess I didn't understand that Marshall didn't want this sex thing just to be random fuckinf from time to time he wanted both of us to get all the enjoyment possible out of them and that he wants to prove that he isn't using me.

I don't mind that we have to sit in a car and have lunch while parked at a park or something, to be honest there are few people eating their lunch in their cars probably having a quick lunch break from work and instead of sitting in the office decided to come out and enjoy the scenery.

Since it's raining the car has actually become quiet cosy, it feels nice sitting here sprawled out with my feet in Marshall's lap, listening while he compliments how nice and soft my feet are as he continues giving me a gentle massage, this actually had to be a perfect lunch, no pressure by anyone just a quiet relaxing lunch with a close friend that constantly is making me laugh.

I knew he was avoiding the incoming call he was receiving hoping I didn't hear it, but after telling him that's it's fine to answer I watched as the happiness drifted from his face. I'm guessing who ever is on the phone is bring some bad news because Marshall is asking a lot of questions and keeps asking how she is. I have no idea who he is referring to but since it's a female it has to involve one of his daughters.

" Everything alright?" I asked after he slowly hung up, noticing the sadness on his face while still softly rubbing my feet.

" Yeah I guess " was all he mumbled placing his phone back in his pocket. Straight away I can tell he is upset about something but since it's Marshall he has gone into hiding everything behind a wall.

Lifting my feet from his lap and sitting up straight, I knew there is something bothering him and intended in finding out.

" Come on, Marshall you know you can tell me" I said softly straightening up and placing all my attention on him, hoping he sees that I am listening to him.

" you know how I was telling you about my great aunt Edna?" he said softly sounding like he is about to burst out in tears.

" Yeah, she is quite sick and your making sure she is getting looked after 24/7" I answered remembering exactly what we have talked about. It was after we had sex one night and as we laid in bed he finally decided to open up to me, telling me about this woman that treated him like a son and is more like a mother than his actual mother.

" She had a fall earlier and she's a bit distressed and upset and wants to see me, that's all" he replied like it wasn't a big deal, but deep down I can tell he is actually really bothered and upset about it but is afraid to show any emotion.

" Well why don't you go see her? I asked wondering why he doesn't go Help her out when I Can tell he really wants to.

" I just don't have time, I will soon" he replied making up some lame excuse as to why not go. straight away I can tell it's killing him to act like he doesn't care because that's the person he is so used to being, the person that doesn't allow anything to hurt him or show his true emotions unless he honestly trust you.

" Well we have time now, we can stop by and check up on her" I declared hoping he will want to, but all I got was a confused expression on his face as he stared at me.

" We?, come on you really don't want to come check up on some old lady" he said trying to be cool ad collected, making up every excuse not to allow me to come and see her with him. I know he doesn't trust a lot of people and always secretly goes to visit her whenever he can making sure no press finds out her information.

" Are you serious Marshall I'm more than fine with it" I commented softly while grabbing his hand and holding it to show him how much I am keen to go visit her. Since I have been living over here in America I always miss out on family things and the one thing I regret is not spending enough time with my grandma before she passed away.

" Come on, I promise you you'll

won't even know I am there. besides I can tell you really want to go" I continued speaking softly trying to get him to ease up and allow me in a little bit, allow me to see that side of him he always shows late at night after we spend ages just talking together.

" Fine we will quickly go pass" he said before we both packed up our things and got ready to leave.

I knew she lived in his home town of st Joseph and knew no matter what this was going to be hard for him, to bring someone he doesn't fully trust into his childhood town, the place that keeps all his memories that he has tried so hard to forget. I just know I have to tread carefully because if I say the wrong thing it might ruin our friendship forever

Sorry it's takin so long, just a quick pointless chapter:)

Enjoy !