Fighting Feelings

Ashley P.O.V

" you have to go unless you want to get caught by my manager" I smiled, while trying to playfully get Marshall out of my Hotel room before my manager comes up to get me ready for tonights awards show.

" Hey I'm sorry, its not my fault anyway, your the one who wanted to go for seconds in the shower" he smirked back, while i tried to push him towards the door but it wasnt really working out since He had me exactly where he wanted me.

" excuse me, so you didnt enjoy it. Because I wont do it again if you didnt" I replied pretending to act like I was cut and upset by his comment. Turning around quickly he pulled me into him and wrapped his arms around.

" Now I didnt say that, I actually enjoyed very much. Just next time we have to time it better" He smirked as we smiled at each other, feeling the contemptness coming over again as we got swept into each other again.

"Okay Im going" He smiled giving me one more kiss before rushing towards the door, before my manager caught him sneaking out.

" So ill see you tonight at the awards ceremony?" he asked before opening the door. Tonight is the BET Awards where Eminem is up for a few and im also up for a few, plus we are both performing seperately so its going to be a hectic night.

" Sure will, Now Go" i replied before pushing him out. We both know it was risky him coming over last night since a lot of the performers are staying in this hotel, but Since we both were alone and bored we decided to risk it. Besides I needed to tell him about the wonderful news my manager handed me the other day.

Let me tell you he wasnt to happy hearing about my new Apparent boyfriend My manager has set me up with, now he didnt come straight out and say he wasnt thrilled but I can read marshall like a book these days and i can tell he was pretty pissed of to hear my new Boyfriend was a famous underwear model that had turned Actor, he also wasnt to thrilled that he will also be appearing at the bet Awards tonight, I can already tell this is going to be an eventful night.

You know the worst thing about today is I have to spend all day with my nagging manager while getting ready, I thought maybe I could enjoy some quiet time while getting my hair and makeup done but no I have been listening to her constantly in my ear, complaining about everything I say and making sure exactly how Im meant to act tonight, espicailly with my beau Jordan Hughes. Luckily I have met him a couple of times and we have gotten on fairly well, He isnt to thrilled on the idea either because he actaully generally likes someone else, but just like my manger his insists we act pretty dam friendly together.

Luckily Marshall has been distracting me from her demanding personallty, Its probaly three hours until I have to go to this awards ceremony and right now all i need to hear is someone elses voice other than Christines.

Me: Hey

Marshall: Hey, Hows your Day going. Still got Christine in your Ear

Me: Sure have. I think she has made me change three times already

Marshall: Did you like any of the dresses?

Me: Yeah I like the one Im wearing now, its very Simple and not glittery like the others

Marshall: she doesnt like it?

Me: Nah, she insists I wear something that doesnt make me look fat

Marshall: Are you fuckin serious nothing can make you look fat, you got an amazing body. I swear that woman is blind

Me: awww arent you a sweetie. But i guess shes right, it does make me look a little wide around the hips

Marshall: says the girl that thinks she looks fat in a size 6 lingerie. Come on Ash, trust me I have seen every inch of your body numerous times. You have been doing so well lately, dont let her get you down.

Me: I know I have, i guess im just nervous because its my first time back in public and I tend to give in to her manipulation when Im nervous

Marshall: I know, but she knows that as well, she playing with your emotions. How bout you send me a pic of the dress and I will honestly tell you the truth, you know you can trust me. I wouldnt lie to you.

Me: Okay, I know you wont lie, but if i do you have to tell me i would rather hear it from you, than some jerk fashion critic the next day.

Marshall: Sure will.

Me: Alright, well I will see you tonight. Are you sitting with Fifty?

Marshall: Yeah him and Royce. Who are you sitting with?

Me: Um Beyonce and my new buddy Jordan

Marshall: So i should just look for the white guy with the biggest comb over

Me: Marshall, you know this wasnt up to me

Marshall: you could have said no

Me: than what, she would have started suspecting i was dating someone. Least this way she still thinks the last time we saw each other was for the music video

Marshall: Yeah I know, I just dont get why she controls you life so much. Im sure you sons dont like you dating someone thats only a few years older then them.

Me: MARSHALL!!! Besides he's not. Hes a few years younger then me and dont bring my boys into this........... Im sure your girls wouldnt like to find out that you basically sleep with models only a few years older than Alaina.

Marshall: Whatever...........

Me: ............ Im Sorry that was rude of me, im just stressed thats all.

Me: I dont want to argue with you tonight, espicaily not on the phone.

Marshall: what so you want to argue face to face

Me: No i dont want to argue at all, thats why I apologised. Look Marshall If we argue than I will just want to make it right and when I see you tonight it will be a lot harder not to go up to you and apolgise properly and we both know how that usually ends up like.

Marshall: Haha yeah makeup sex Dont worry i can always sneak you into my dressing room.

Me: Not funny

Marshall: Im not joking, just text me whenever you want to go makeout. Ill be happy to leave for a bit. These award ceremonys suck

Me: Ill keep that in mind

Me........ I should go, chrisitine calling. I will send a pic

Marshall: Ill be waiting. See you tonight

Me: Yeah see you tonight.

Marshall ended up loving the dress which in a way gave me the confidence to tell Christine I was wearing it. Even though she hated it, she allowed me to wear it but made sure to be extra critical when it came to everything else.

She becomes extremely critical right before I'm about to hit the red carpet, which brings my nerves into a high and my confidence into a low, but luckily before I know it the red carpet seems to end and I can actually calm down knowing awards ceremony doesn't really have any paparazzi in your face asking questions and judging you.

Marshall p.o.v

Okay so now I know why I've been refusing to attends awards ceremonies, I had forgotten how boring they are until I had to sit through the first quarter of these awards.

Since Ashley was on just before this break and absolutely killed it with her performance she hadn't been out here yet sitting it in the crowd, instead I guess her manager had her backstage waiting patiently in her dressing room, but she sure did an amazing job on stage and may I say looked in incredible in her leotard.

I honestly think I had to make sure I wasnt dribbling just in case fifty saw next to me and noticed how intrigued I was by her.

" Eminem, it's good to see you again" drake said while coming up and greeting me and fifty. Since this is the BET awards, majority of the guys are rappers and are people I have met before.

" Yeah you to man" I replied smiling politely like I have been this whole night to everyone who has come up and asked where I've been or when's the album coming out.

I stayed and chatted to Drake and lil Wayne who came up just after Drake and talked a lot about the album and up coming collaboration I did with lil Wayne. I honestly tried to stay interested but like always seem to get distracted, and this time the only reason I got distracted was because Ashley made her way out into the audience, but luckily I wasn't the only one who noticed her presence, I seriously think majority of the guys turned and looked at how amazing she was in that dress of hers. I think everyone has a little glance because she is such a big artist and it's been a while since she has been to one of these. Seeing her and the way everyone reacted when she was around made me realize how big of an artist she is, since we have been hanging out so casually and so normally I haven't really seen her as Ashley Ann until tonight so I've totally forgotten that she was this famous.

" Hey Fifty" I heard her say, making me come out of my stance and realize that fifty had moved over to our group and Ashley is making her way over to greet him.

" Hey Ashley, can I just say that performance was amazing" fifty smiled pulling her into a hug and telling her how amazing she was in stage. All I could see was the small blush that would rise on her cheeks before she greeted everyone in our circle, of course making sure I was last. Luckily it wasn't awkward or anything and we were able to do the whole kiss on the cheek and hug without anyone noticing anything.

" congrats on your two last wins, now all you have to do is take out the big one" she said to me while we all stood in the circle, and the other guys talked quietly talked amongst themselves, noticing I wasn't really listening to them.

" thanks, but I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen" I replied politely but knowing very well that there is no way relapse was good enough for best hip hop award, I think it's going to go to someone like drake and lil Wayne who both had amazing albums.

" Well personally I think you'll win " she replied softly knowing the other guys weren't really paying attention to our conversation so she could get away with being a little cheeky.

" that's kind of you, to bad the statistics are not behind you on this" I smirked back, already well aware that relapse was my worst selling album out all the ones I have produced.

" Marshall, it's not about the statistics and I'm pretty sure you have everyone wanting more since relapse and not afraid. I bet you, this is yours without a doubt" she smiled, not caring that drake was basically beside me when she was boasting about my album and how it's going to beat everyone elses. You have no idea how hard it is to stand here and be so normal with her, when we usually are always all over each other or at least flirting with each other.

" Are you really betting on this" I cheekily smirked after hearing her say she was betting on me winning.

" I guess I am" she said as she stood there acting all innocent when deep down she knows very well what I really mean by her betting.

" Fine, but when I lose be prepared to Pay up" i smiled at her, not saying much since she already knows what this involves and knows we will work out the other details later on when we are alone. There is no way right now was the time, plus I was lucky enough to get that out before Christine came waltzng over and telling Ashley to go take her seat at the front with her toy boy Jordan. I already can tell by Christine face she didn't want Ashley talking to me or didn't want her near me, so instead of finishing out conversation we had to part ways and take out seats before the show started again.

I couldnt help but noticethrough this section of awards the way Jordan placed his hand on her thigh from time to time, and I know I student get angry or upset because we are just friends with benefits, but i have to admit it did hurt to see the way he was constantly whispering things into her ear, making her laugh like I usually did. Seeing the way they were so comfortable with each other hurt the most, there is no way she would ever be that comfortable with me in public, I can already tell if anything was to happen, our relationship would have to be very secretive and no one would be able to know about us, she would never sit with Eminem the way she is sitting with Jordan, she would never be comfortable with me having my hand on her thigh like he has, she would always tell me no or ' you'll make a scene. Because lets face it she would never want to be seen Romantically link with Eminem, I guess thats why we are keeping our hookups so secret, not only because of our children but just because of the general fact that Ashley Ann would never date someone like Eminem.

" Yo Em, You're up " Paul said to me making me look back to him and realise he means I'm up to go get ready for my performance. First I was releaved to be able to get away from watching her Toyboy Jordan flirt with her all the time and secondly it gives me a chance for me to finally text her and see if she might want to sneak backstage for a while, even though she probably will say no she seems to be having to much fun already.

" you nevous?" Paul asked as we made our way backstage and to my dressing room where i had to wait until I was called.

" Nah not really" I sort of lied a little, knowing Paul wouldnt be able to tell. Yes I know I have performed before and this isnt my first time at the bet Awards but still I couldnt help but feel nervous for some reason, I dont know if it was because this is my first time being sober or if Ashley has something to do with it. But trust me it is probably something to do with performing sober, usually Eminem doesnt let girls get in the way.

Sitting in the dressing room watching the show from the tv on the wall, made me relax a little, all the guys have decided to leave me alone for a while just to get my head in the game and get ready to perform. Ashley hadnt replied to my message which was something I was expecting, but it was only 2 mintues after I sent it that she actually won favourite Female Artist which is incredible for her, since she deserves it so much and as she accepted her award you can tell how stoked and excited she was.

" you're nervous arent you" I heard from the Doorway, making me glance up and see Ashley standing there, she must have come straight from accepting her award.

" nah I'm good" I lied again like I just did to Paul as she began to walk towards me, I was trying not to be nerovus but I just couldnt help it.

" You'll be fine Marshall, Everyone is going to be blown away" she said happily while placing her hands on my shoulders and reassuirng me not to worry. Unlike Paul, Ashley was able to tell I was nervous and worried about performing, I dont know how but she knows when I'm lying about something, which is weird because we havent known each other that long and I thought the guys Ive known for years would at least pick it up quicker than Ashley, but no hear she is comforting me before I head on stage.

" congrats on your Win" I commented as the room turned a peaceful silence between us, I dont know if she is in here because she got my text or if she was just stopping by after recieving her award.

" Thanks, now only you have to win the big one and than we both can end the night on high" she smiled while making her way in front of me and leaning on the dressing room bench. Man did she look Beautiful tonight, what I like most about her outfit is she didnt have to wear a super tight short dress like a few ladies here tonight wore to look sexy, here she is wearing a black sequin Tulle Hem dress and still managed to look the sexiest out of everyone.

" you're gonna be shocked when I dont" I replied, alreayd knowing i didnt have the talent and votes to win the award for best Album, not at a black dominated awards ceremony, where people still criticise whites like Ashley and I for winning awards when Black people should be. They think because where on this side of america and for many years BET awards was known for Black American poeple to be acknowledged for their talents, still these days whites arent really accepted.

" why do you doubt yourself" she asked curiousily as she went over and closed the door slightly more trying to give us more privacy.

" Why do you" was all I replied knowing where she was going with this. She cant really talk and ask me why I doubt myself when she constantly doubts everything about herself and about Ashley Ann.

" Okay, I had that one coming" she said, as she rose from her feet in front of me, already giving up on trying to comfort me and reasure me that I'm going to be alright. I saw the disbelief in her eyes making me realise I had snapped at her again when I didnt mean to.

" Sorry" I apologised quickly while grabbing her hand softly before she stepped back away from me. She is only trying to help and I should be grateful that someone actually notices how nervous I actually am.

" its okay" she smiled back, kneeling back down in front of me and resting herself on my legs as we began to talk to try and take my mind of performing and knowing we had some time before Paul and the others came back. Trust me I wanted to grip her by the hips and pull her close to me, but I knew it was to risky for us, so instead I had to settle with a few little pecks from time to time when she sat so close to me.

Christine P.O.V

Just as I thought, Ashley took the whole aspect of wining an award to go disappear from me after she got backstage again. I already have a fair idea where she is but are trying to convince myself that she cant be that depsreate and stupid to actaully go visit him right here backstage.

Making my way past the dressing rooms, the more I walked away from the stage the quieter It got. I was just about to turn back after looking for a while and being releaved that I couldnt see her with that itdiot Eminem, but as I made my way towards this one dressing room I could hear her laughter coming from it. As I got closer I was able to see the whole thing behind the slightly Ajar Door. I saw her standing there as Eminem leant against the bench with his arms around her pulling her close to him inbetween his legs. I couldnt help but notice how close they have actually become these last couple of months and how much they are actaully enjoying flirtying with each other, withing the two mintues of Standing there he had kissed her more than 10 times which is ridiculous.

You have no idea how much I wanted to run in there and drag her sorry ass out of there, but I knew that would already cause more distance between us which is something we cant afford beacuase the more distance made between us the more she gets sucked towards Eminem and his group of friends. So instead I just walked off like a mature Adult making sure they didnt see me spying on them as I quickly made my way back to the crowded backstage, thinking of a good way to get Eminem out of the picture so her new BIy Jordan can swoop right in.

It only took about two mintues until I came up with the best Solution for all of this and the best way to get Eminem out of her life for good and hurt both of them in the process.

Now its time for me to really stir up the pot, and stir things up between Eminem and Ashley

Just a quick chapter before I add a second part to this chapter:)