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Fighting Feelings

Love the way you lie

Marshall P.O.V
“ so do you reckon she will be alright or is it still a touchy subject” I asked Fifty on the phone as I sat in my studio by myself. I was currently talking to Fifty about seeing if Ashley wanted to sing the chorus for Love the way you lie. I know I said I was going to stay away from her because I wasn't going to let myself fall for her. She was stunning and she could have any guy she wanted, so I could tell she was the type to mess around and get over guys easily. Girls that look like that, can't say no to Temptation, but I also knew that she had been through an abusive relationship and this song was really important to me so I wanted someone that knows how the women feel in those kind of relationships.

“ yeah I reckon she will be keen, I think show her the song first and see what she says” he said startling me as I realised I let myself wander of and think about her. This shouldn't be happening, I have no idea where these feelings even came from, its not like I haven't seen her on TV or even met her before. We have been both in the industry for many years, Why all the sudden can I not get her out of my head, maybe I was still intrigued and surprised how different she was, she defiantly wasn't what I expected.

“ alright yeah I might do that,” I answered after thinking about what Fifty had said, it has been nearly a month since the poker night and we haven't spoken since. I know she is in Michigan as well but with my new album coming and trying to raise 3 teenage girls my life is so busy at the moment that I hadn’t had time to really do anything, including watching TV which is a good thing because I haven't seen Ashley on it. There have been a few occasions when the girls talk about gossip they have heard about her but I tend not to listen to much, but when I do its always about her dating some model that is younger than her.

I really don’t understand where all these feelings are coming from, I don't understand why my heart starts beating faster whenever I hear or see anything or Ashley. Was I that lonely?

It was the start of a New Year, Start of year that was going to be one hectic and busy year but I couldn't wait for all of it to come. My album comes out in 5 months and I still have a couple more songs to do. I wasn't going to be touring as much just because the girls hate it when I go away and because it isn't fair on Kim to make her have the girls when I have them, she deserves to have time to herself as well.

This year will be the first time I actually am doing festivals and concerts being sober, back in the day I was usually as high as you could get enjoying the groupies and all the free Drugs people would throw at you, but these days I am more responsible and I always try to think about my girls before I do anything stupid, but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy a few random nights with desperate groupies that I have known for ages, come on I am a guy who has needs and sometimes I just need time to let all my stress out, but that doesn’t mean I don't want someone to actually go home too and be able to show all that love I am hiding inside, but with all my trust issues I just can't seem to allow my heart to get hurt again.

Ashley P.O.V

Another stupid rumour about me dating some younger model has spread around the internet and TV. I hated that this was how people saw me, thinking all I do was date models and party all night long, this actually be the total opposite, I have actually come a recluse these last couple of months. The last time I went out was the poker night at Fifty's house, since than all I have been doing is looking after my boys and writing songs whenever they are at school.

I haven't really talked to anyone besides my mum and dad who live over in Australia. I have talked a few times to Fifty and sometimes with Beyonce whenever she wasn’t busy touring.

I have actually just gotten of the phone with Marshall, who asked if I wanted to come and hear a song that he was working on and was wondering If I would be interested in collaborating with him. I was a bit sceptical about it all at the start, just because Eminem is known for having offensive songs, but after hearing this song I automatically fell in love with it and was so excited to work with him on it. So all I had to do now was call and say I would defiantly do it, unfortunately even though I was a grown woman I still had to show everything I was going to release to my management team, and as much as that sucks it was still the right thing to do.

They listened to it and called up last night, trying to get me not to go and collaborate with him. For some reason they think he is a stuck up prick that doesn’t care about anyone else’s feelings but his own. They also think the song is to dark for my kind of image and collaborating with him could wreck my perfect reputation they have built up for me. But I honestly have gotten to the point where I don't care what they say or what they think, I honestly believe in this song and Believe Marshall and I can show what it feels like to be in a Domestic relationship, even if that means I have push my boundaries and push that image I have in the music Industry.

Fifty P.O.V

I saw Ashley arrive at Marshall's studio ready to work with him on their new song. He allowed me to listen to it and its amazing, Ashley is going to kill the chorus, and I know so many people are going to relate to this song both from Marshall's point of view and and Ashley's.

Watching her get out and get ready, I could see she was stressed and tired just likes its been for the last 6 months, I wonder how she does it, how she keeps a strong face while the media throws so much trash at her.

“ are you okay?” Marshall asked softly while placing some papers away, the majority of the guys had left for the day knowing Marshall was working with Ashley this afternoon. I'm about to leave as well, not wanting to get in the way but first I wanted to make sure she was okay and was still looking after herself.

“ Yeah, just waiting to quickly say hello to Ashley” I replied, still watching her from the window as she got her things ready from the car, even just watching her I could see the tiredness in her eyes and the stress wearing away at her body, she still looks amazing but its not hard to notice she has lost some weight.

“ your worried about her, aren't you?” he asked again as he came over and looked at her through the window as well. I didn't know how Marshall could tell I was worried about her, I am not a big one to show emotions or feelings but neither is Marshall, he is probably the hardest person to read and its been like that since Proof had died, always been to scared to show either a hint of weakness of feeling.

“ yeah, she's been pushing herself to much. Even though she is meant to be on a break, I can just imagine her management trying to get her back to being on top” I muttered, the worry becoming more invisible as I continued talking about how much pressure her management especially her manager puts on her to always be on top and making sure she is looking gorgeous all the time.

“ does she get along with her manager” he questioned, looking away from her and towards me. I was wondering why he was asking me that, but after seeing the concern and uncertainty grow over his face I could tell he just wanted to learn more about her. Its so surprising how similar they are to each other and I'm not talking about their alto egos Eminem and Ashley Ann, I'm talking about their more personal side, I'm talking about Marshall and Ashley.

“ sometimes, they have different ideas to each other” I answered slowly. Obviously Marshall noticed the concern and suspicion on my face as I went back to looking at Ashley, letting the silence take over again.

“ it's just she insisted that it was only us and the producers here while she records her part of the song. I was just wondering if they got along, because big Artist like Ashley usually bring their Manager and people from their crew, she is the first one that hasn’t. Not that I'm complaining, its more relaxed without them “ He said, breaking the silence between us again and telling me what Ashley had insisted on before coming today. I defiantly knew what he was talking about now, it isn’t the first time Ashley has insisted on working without her manager, but lately she has been doing it more often, but I know why she did insist not letting her manager come today.

I turned towards Marshall thinking to myself if I should mention anything or not, I didn’t what to risk saying anything if it was going to hurt him in anyway. The one thing about Marshall is, he isn't as tough as he used to be, his emotionless face might make people think he is heartless and cold but he is the total opposite when he is comfortable with someone, he just has to trust you enough to show you that side of him.

“ What?” he asked, as the silence took over and you could tell I was thinking if I should tell him or not, but Marshall is my friend and as much I was hoping he wouldn't get offended he deserved to know.

“ the reason why Ashley insisted working alone is because Her manager doesn't want her doing the song with you.” I muttered quietly, feeling a tad bad for telling Marshall the real reason why.

“ she obviously doesn’t like me and she thinks working with me on this song can wreck her reputation” he cut in, finishing my explanation for me. So Marshall already figured out why her manager didn't want her to work with him, but he didn't sound that surprised about the whole thing.

“ and she thinks the song is to dark and depressing. But don't let it get to you. She doesn't want Ashley to mess up this stupid perfect image she has built for her, but when Ashley believes in something there is not stopping her, and I know for a fact she loves this song and believes in it” I added , glancing at Ashley and seeing she was about to walk in the front door.

" that's good" Marshall got out right before Ashley walked in the door, once again hiding her tiredness with that smile of hers and the cheery attitude while greeting both of us. As much as she pretends she is alright, I will never underestimate the pain and sadness she is going through because I know she can hide it better than other people out there, even when she is in the spotlight.

"alright, I'm off" I said after getting of the phone to my girlfriend and walking back over to the lounge area where I saw Marshall and Ashley laughing about something. I was going to ask if she was okay here knowing she still gets very shy and insecure with new people, but from seeing the way she was laughing and mucking around with Marshall, I decided not to just in case I get her upset.

" See you soon" Ashley smiled while giving me a big hug, the love she has for people around her is so rare and the way she treats everyone with pure kindness is something you don't see everyday, that is why it makes me so mad to even think her ex boyfriend abused her and hurt her the way he did.

" don't worry, I will look out for her and make sure she doesn't over do it" Marshall said while walking me out the front door, seeing the kindness in his eyes I knew he will look after her, since he knows what she is going through probably more than me.

" thanks" I smiled saying my goodbyes before leaving the studio, feeling a tad more relieved knowing Marshall will take care of her. They might not agree with me, but they are both so similar but not just as Eminem and Ashley Ann but more Marshall and Ashley. The history they both share with the music industry and the things Ashley is going through right now knowing Marshall has been through similar things, makes me less stressed and very hopeful that Marshall might be able to get through to her.

Marshall P.O.V

Without being to obvious I did observe Ashley more since Fifty told me she was going through a lot of struggles, Most of the time she will being laughing and smiling while we were mucking around but there are these split seconds when she thinks I am not looking, that I see her smile disappear and the pain starting to show. It is sad to see, I know I don't know her that well but for some reason I want to get to know her and try to help her, since first meeting her there is something about her that has just stuck with me and I cant seem to stop thinking about it.

" so you have a lot of games here" she stated while glancing around the room, since it was later at night and we both had no children to get home to, I asked if she wanted to stay for dinner and hang out a bit. It saves us both going home to lonely mansions.

" yeah, I don't go out much in public so I try to keep myself occupied here" I replied feeling a tad embarrassed by saying I'm a loner, which in some ways is true. From the way the media betrays me, I have been made to seem like a recluse when it comes to my private life, they think I rarely go out and spend most days tucked away in my mansion, a lot of it was thanks to my big mouth mum who seemed to have a pretty good idea of the person I am today, when it true honesty we haven't seen each other in so long.

" you don't need to be embarrassed, to tell you the truth I hate going out in public myself, sometimes I can feel sick just thinking about stepping out into the spot light, just knowing everyone is watching and judging you" she quietly said, looking down once again trying to hide the tears and pain that she obviously felt about the whole situation. It was strange sitting across from someone you have watched on TV nearly your whole teenage life and now seeing a whole different side of them, it was strange seeing how different she was portrayed in the media. that's when I realised the lady in front of me wasn't Ashley Ann the amazing, perfect sexy singer that is every boys dream girl, she was just Ashley, a single mother of two who is letting her insecurities take over her life and was to busy loving and taking care of everybody else around her so she doesn't have to sit and face her insecurities about herself.

" it sucks doesn't it" I agreed while happily listening to her about some experiences she has had with the media, we even started talking about more of us and some bits that we didn't share with the media. It was nice talking to someone that really understood where you were coming from, it didn't feel like a counselling session or like someone was judging you in anyway, it just felt nice to talk to someone that knew where your anger and frustration was coming from.

We actually ended up pretty late the other night, after having dinner we kind of just got so interested in hanging with each other that we forgot the time that was passing. I taught her how to play Pac Man on the old games slot and also taught her some more card tricks, while she in return just gave out this amazing contempt atmosphere throughout the studio, while listening to me complain about certain things in the media, I didn't even realise how long I was complaining for, since she never glared at me or judged me once, she just sat back listening to me rant, somehow knowing I needed to get all this frustration and anger that was building up inside finally free.

" I had fun, we should do this again sometime " I shyly said while we both walked out of the studio together since it was dark. I really enjoyed myself tonight and not once did anything remind me of the past which would have caused me to start hating myself for everything that has happened.

" We should, are you going to Fifty's party next week" she asked, smiling before getting her into her range Rover, even through the dark I could still see the outline of her smile that she was constantly hiding behind.

" yeah I am, what about you?" I replied, kind of hopping she was going to go, not that I don't like Fifty's parties it just the guys that go never really care about my addiction problems. I have been tossing up for so long, worried that I might give in and have a pill. I really don't know how strong I am to be around these people and parties where people can smoke Pot right In your face.

" yeah I am, should be good" she lied doing everything possible not to let her insecurities and confidence problems be seen through her face, once again trying to be brave and happy. I was glad Ashley is going because I know now not all my focus is going to be on Drugs and alcohol, knowing Ashley will do a great job secretly distracting me for the night without even noticing it.

Us getting a long so well in the studio didn't make me place down all the walls and barriers I have placed up to protect me from getting hurt,especially from the hot wannabes, it just made me more considerate on how she was feeling and going through these days, but I still wasn't going to budge and let her closely to me, knowing she was probably going to get sick of me and stop talking to me when she finds someone better.

Short Chapter:) Enjoy