Status: Done.
Syrup and Syringes
Syrup and Syringes
Charles crawled out of his box this morning with a plan. Today was the day. He opened his trash can, and pulled out 20 bottles of maple syrup he'd collected. He carefully unscrewed each bottle and poured its contents into another can. Once each bottle was empty, Charles picked up the bucket and poured its contents over his head. Standing still for a moment to let the syrup flow down his body, he began to worry his plan to fuel his drug addiction wouldn't work. After pondering this, he realized he had nothing to lose and ran out into the street. A taxi came over to him, and he got in.
"To the park, my good man," said he.
After the cab reached his destination, the fare was $12.45. Instead of paying, Charles simply smashed the driver on the head with a can of sardines and ran away. He swiped the cab driver's pistol on his way, a lucky find. Through the park he went, shanking men, women and children on his way with a sword made of balloons. Finally his destination was reached: the fountain in the centre of the park. He threw a banana peel into the fountain, and the evil wizard appeared from the fountain.
The wizard conjured up a bear covered in peanut butter. The wizard then spoke:
"Fight my bear. Win and you will get one wish."
Charles charged at the bear and shoved his syrup covered arm in its nose. It was allergic to maple syrup, so it turned into gumballs and dispersed.
"Congratulations. I will grant you one wish. What do you desire?"
Charles knew what he wanted. It was his life's dream.
"I," said he,
" would like," said he,
"to be, said he,
"a," said he,
"supermodel."
The wizard yanked his beard, slapped his face, and tapped his chest thrice. He then very clearly stated,
"So be it."
Charles passed out. When he came to, he was laying in a bed out in Hollywood. He was wearing pink panties, and a pink lace bra. He sat up and heard someone say:
"Smile!"
So he did. His picture was featured in that month's issue of Playboy. It sold 67 billion and 2 copies, netting him a bajillion bucks.
He spent all bajillion dollars on his addiction: grape juice. He bought half a bajillion dollars worth of grape juice, and half a bajillion dollars worth of syringes.
He injected the grape juice directly into his brain, and after 1 dose passed out on a pile of syringes.
"To the park, my good man," said he.
After the cab reached his destination, the fare was $12.45. Instead of paying, Charles simply smashed the driver on the head with a can of sardines and ran away. He swiped the cab driver's pistol on his way, a lucky find. Through the park he went, shanking men, women and children on his way with a sword made of balloons. Finally his destination was reached: the fountain in the centre of the park. He threw a banana peel into the fountain, and the evil wizard appeared from the fountain.
The wizard conjured up a bear covered in peanut butter. The wizard then spoke:
"Fight my bear. Win and you will get one wish."
Charles charged at the bear and shoved his syrup covered arm in its nose. It was allergic to maple syrup, so it turned into gumballs and dispersed.
"Congratulations. I will grant you one wish. What do you desire?"
Charles knew what he wanted. It was his life's dream.
"I," said he,
" would like," said he,
"to be, said he,
"a," said he,
"supermodel."
The wizard yanked his beard, slapped his face, and tapped his chest thrice. He then very clearly stated,
"So be it."
Charles passed out. When he came to, he was laying in a bed out in Hollywood. He was wearing pink panties, and a pink lace bra. He sat up and heard someone say:
"Smile!"
So he did. His picture was featured in that month's issue of Playboy. It sold 67 billion and 2 copies, netting him a bajillion bucks.
He spent all bajillion dollars on his addiction: grape juice. He bought half a bajillion dollars worth of grape juice, and half a bajillion dollars worth of syringes.
He injected the grape juice directly into his brain, and after 1 dose passed out on a pile of syringes.