An Nimh Milse

"Ugh the bus," Sheila muttered as they stood at the end of their driveway waiting to be picked up. "I hate that bus."

"You're in sixth grade," Fallon groaned. "You have it so easy, you have no idea."

"You think so now," Sheila nearly shouted at him. "You already know what I'm going to have to deal with. When you were my age you thought this was hard!"

"Just be thankful you don't have Mr. Grayson," Darcy sighed running a hand through her hair. "He was an ass."

"Isn't he retired?" Fallon asked kicking a rock around the sidewalk.

"Did he?" She frowned, "He was an old shit so maybe. Maybe he died; good fucking riddance."

The bus turned the corner onto their road and Sheila moaned, "I just want to go back to sleep, it that too much to ask?" Neither of them answered as the bus they'd ridden for six years rattled up the road. The thing was so damn old Darcy was surprised it wasn't a safety threat.

Just as it groaned to a halt in front of them the neighbor's door flew open. The house had just been sold after belonging to an elderly couple with a mean little mutt. The woman had insisted it was a schnauzer but Darcy was convinced it was born in the very depths of hell and the devil was its mother.

A boy, whose age she couldn't quite place, with white blond hair came racing out. His red plaid button up shirt was only half on and his belt was undone, forcing him to hold up his pants as he raced towards them. Darcy instinctively hung back a little, forcing the driver to wait.

"Freak's back," one girl shouted as she boarded. "Nobody look her in the eye, it'll kill your soul and you'll end up just as freakish as her." Darcy didn't look at them as they giggled; she kept her eyes on her shoes before she reached her usual seat in the middle of the bus and put her backpack in the pace next to her.

The boy climbed onto the bus a moment later, still dressing himself as he walked along the aisle looking for a seat.

"Lookin good there, new kid! There's a lot of sex appeal in coming to school half-dressed," a different girl shouted, receiving a collection of giggles from her friends.

"I'm ready when you are sweetheart," he smirked back as he finished the last button on his shirt. "Wanna take it to the back seat?"

"Pervert!"

"Just calling you out on your bull shit," he shrugged. "Besides I would never get into bed with a skank like you. No offence, but you aren't worth catching whatever disease you carry." Darcy couldn't see the girls face but she imagined a look of shock and anger that gave her a little bit of satisfaction.

The boy looked around for a seat and Darcy ducked her head. Don't choose me, she silently begged as she nervously bit her lip. Go sit next to Fallon; you're about the same age… I think. She frowned eyeing him from the corner of the eye. He looked young in the face but his body was much more mature than that. Nice broad shoulders and a trim waist, she couldn't see them but she imagined the pectorals and abs the guy must have and damn he was fine.

"Is this seat taken?" She looked up into eyes so green she was instantly transported back to that meadow her family once visited. She was that little girl watching the clouds and seeing the blue birds and he was the warm grass around her, towering his way to the sky.

"Uh… no," she mumbled quickly looking away.

"Great," she could hear the smile in his voice as she grabbed her bag and he sat down. "I'm Gavin Long."

She nodded, her eyes cast down to her lap where she nervously twisted the ring around her thumb. "I'm Darcy, Darcy Findlay."

"Darcy," he frowned looking up at the roof of the bus. "That means dark one right?"

"Yes," she nodded shortly, "and Gavin means white hawk."

"You know your names," he smirked.

She shrugged, "I've looked up a few."

"Well Darcy I should thank you," he smiled at her. "Without you I would have missed the bus and on the first day of school that would have been humiliating."

She gave him a half-smile, "Too bad you still forgot your backpack." He paused looking around before a look of dread washed over his face.

"Fuck, fucking damn it," he cursed. "Every god damn time."

"You forget it often then?" She questioned as he pulled out his phone. He didn't answer as he turned to the aisle and called someone. Darcy sighed heavily and turned to the window.

"Scared off the new kid already freak?" Darcy cringed and sank further into her seat. This is why you shouldn't have sat next to me, she thought. You don't understand, you don't know the dominos you just tipped over and hell I'll be put through.

Gavin hung up the phone and turned to face the back, "Jesus Christ, will you shut the fuck up? No one is impressed; you're just proving what a bully you are." He turned back towards Darcy with an apologetic smile and she stared at him with wide eyes. "Something on my face?"

"No," she shook her head, "no, sorry.

He frowned at her for a moment before shrugging and holding up his phone, "Sorry about that, I didn't mean to blow you off I just needed to make sure my mom go my backpack to school for me. It has my inhaler and if I don't have it, it could get pretty bad for me."

"You have asthma then," she raised an eyebrow. "How was running for the bus?"

He chuckled, "My heart is still pounding and my lungs feel a little tight."

"Oh you're fine," she rolled her eyes and gave him a small smile, "nothing a little dirt can't fix."

"Did you're parents say that too?" he asked with wide eyes. "Mom I have a cut: go rub some dirt on it. Mom I have a broken leg: go rub some dirt on it-"

"Mom I'm missing a limb: go rub some dirt on it you'll be fine," she said with a small giggle and he laughed harder.

"Damn, your mom must be heartless," he choked out. "My parents drew a hard-line and missing limbs."

"Your parents haven't reached the level of not caring that my parents have," she smiled and shrugged, "but don't worry I'm sure they'll get there in time." They talked the ride to school and continued to talk before classes forced them apart. It was a rare experience, having a nice conversation with someone. But she found talking to Gavin as easy as breathing.

She tried, she tried so hard not the get her hopes up. She tried not to get attached to his boy. But when lunch rolled around and she took her usual seat alone in the corner she found herself looking for him. This boy with the white blond hair could change everything for her and she knew it.

"Hey," he said sliding into the seat across from her. "Can I sit here or do you have friends coming?"

"Friends?" she laughed bitterly, "uh- no, no friends. Not really an area I'm familiar with."

"Really?" he raised an eyebrow, "Because from the talk we had this morning I would have though making friends came as a second nature to you."

"This morning was the exception to the rule," she said with a half-smile. "Speaking of which, you should go."

He frowned, "you don't want me here?"

"Well I do," she sighed, "but if you sit with me you'll live to regret it. I'm kind of an outcast for a reason."

"I'm not afraid of them," he said nodding towards the crowd of kids. "And you shouldn't be either."

Why shouldn't the Little Bird fear the Birds of Prey, she thought but gave him a smile and nodded. Why shouldn't she be weary that they'll tear her to pieces? They always have in her brief encounters that left her bloody and scared. Now the Hawk, who was so much bigger and stronger than her, was trying to get her to stand up to them.

The Little Bird allowed herself to care.

~*~

"YOU ARE SUCH A FREAK!" a girl screamed down the hall after her but Darcy didn't look back. Fuck you bitch, she thought as she flipped the girl off over her head. People stared at her as she walked down the halls to her locker.

It was the beginning of October during her senior year and it was the first time since freshmen year she would be facing the school alone. Gavin, who turned out to be a year older than her, had graduated and was off to college in the northern part of the state. He'd promised to call and come home a lot but she'd only received a few texts in the six weeks he'd been gone. He said it was because of his new girlfriend, Amanda or whatever. Apparently she was really needy, always trying to get his attention and he would forget to call.

Darcy didn't like her. She'd never met her but she already bore a spiteful hate for the girl. She didn't say anything to Gavin, he was happy and it wasn't her place. If he liked her then Darcy could tolerate her continued interference in their friendship.

But, with it being nearly two weeks since his last text, Darcy was starting to feel like her one friend, the one person she desperately needed, was avoiding her. The birds of prey could smell her fear, her weakness, and their torment had reached new levels. She tried to stay strong but, without the Hawk there to protect her, the little bird was drowning.

I can do this, she thought. But she knew it was just another pretty lie.

She opened her locker after school and trash rained down on her, staining her new white hooded poncho that had been a gift from Gavin. Anger bubbled inside her chest and she clenched her fists. Deep breaths, she reminded herself, you don't have to be afraid of them. He said so, he promised. Swallowing hard she grabbed her books; stuffed them into her messenger bag and shut her locker.

She walked home, avoiding the kids on the bus whose torment she refused to deal with today. She found Monday's were always the hardest since the Birds of Prey had all weekend to come up with way to torment her. One year, she told herself. Then I'll be off to college and out of this place, one year… I can do it.

She turned onto her street and heard a commotion. She looked up to see a flash of blond hair before it disappeared into his car and pulled out the driveway. She frowned as she watched him driving away while his parents waved after him. He passed by and didn't even glance in her direction.

"Mr. and Mrs. Long!" she shouted running up to them, "was that Gavin?"

"Of course," his mother smiled as his dad walked inside. "He was here visiting all weekend and doesn't have classes today so he stayed a little longer."

"He was here… all weekend?" she whispered as her life line frayed further.

"Yes…." she frowned, "you didn't know dear?"

She shook her head, "No… he doesn't tell me much these days."

The woman sighed, "He's always been very out of sight out of mind, my son, but I'm sure if you call him he'll be happy to hear from you. He told us you don't text him or call him anymore. well I have to go, dinner is in the over, have a good day, dear." She turned and walked inside, leaving Darcy, out in the cold fall air, alone with nothing but a hollow feeling in her chest.

"I call him," she whispered to no one, "he doesn't pick up… I text him… and he doesn't answer." She couldn't breathe, she couldn't think, all she knew was the pain that spread over her body as she processed this. No, she thought, it can't be over, I won't let it be over. Pulling out her phone she dialed his number, wiping away the tears that had fallen. "Come on," she whispered as she wondered into her backyard. "Pick up, pick up…"

"Darcy," his cheerful voice echoed in her ear. "I'm just starting up some studying, can I call you later?"

"Please, don't lie to me," she choked out. "Gavin after everything we've been through please don't lie to me."

"I-I'm not," she could hear the frown in his voice. "Darcy, are you okay?"

"Well when I spent the day getting called a freak, have garbage dumped on me and find out my best friend didn't tell me he was in town, I think I'm entitled to be a little emotional about it." she nearly snapped, "Why didn't you tell me you were in town, Gavin?"

He hesitated, "I-I don't know. I guess I…" he trailed off and her furry grew.

"Just spit it out!"

"I didn't want to have to deal with Darcy drama!" he shouted and she felt the little bird go under. "Alright? Are you happy? I just wanted a weekend at home to be with my family and not deal with your crap."

"My crap?" she demanded.

"Poor Darcy, always getting picked on," he mocked her. "Poor Darcy, she didn't do anything to deserve this-"

"I don't do anything-"

"Exactly," he shouted, "you let yourself be a target! You don't do anything to stop it!"

"Gavin-"

"And once I got here and I didn't have to hear about it every day was like a breath of fresh air."

She tried to swallow the lump rising in her throat, "All those times you forgot to call, or text, you said it was because of your girlfriend."

He was silent.

"Does Amada even exist?"

There was another pause, "No."

She was silent for a moment as her hand balled into a tiny fist, "I tried to tell you…" she whispered. "Your first day here I told you not to sit with me."

"Darcy-"

"You should have listened," she growled into the phone as she hung up and marched into her house. She ripped off the stained poncho; tossing it in the trash as she passed before making her way to her room and locking the door.

The Hawk had returned to the Little Bird and pulled her from the water. but once on land the hawk started to attack the little bird. The Hawk, who made her start to care, showed her why she shouldn't have. But the Hawk was smarter than the Birds of Prey; he didn't just blindly swipe, he targeted the spots that would cripple her.

The Hawk clipped the Little Bird's wings and left her as lunch to the Birds of Prey.

The Little Bird would never fly or care again.