The New Face of Failure

Kirby: I always thought we'd be friends forever.
Kevin: Yeah, well forever got a lot shorter all of a sudden. – St. Elmo’s Fire

She refused to move from her bedroom, and it became her own personal prison. She spent all day, texting back and forth with Patrick, when he wasn’t wrapped up in the studio recording with the guys. He didn’t seem to be upset with her, but she knew he was worried about her.

SO DID THEY PUNISH U?

NO. she texted. I’M PUNISHING THEM.

LOL. HOW R U DOING THAT?

BY NOT ACKNOWLEDGING THEIR PRESENCE. I HAVEN’T LEFT MY ROOM SINCE THEY BROUGHT ME HOME.

THAT’LL SHOW THEM.

DON’T MAKE FUN OF ME. ☹

SRY, I’M NOT. MY DAD WAS CONCERNED ABOUT U WHEN WE CAME BACK FROM THE STUDIO W/O U.

OH YEAH? WHAT DID U TELL HIM?

THAT U HAVE CRAZY PARENTS.

PRETTY ACCURATE

I CAN’T BELIEVE THOSE THINGS UR DAD SAID ABOUT U

HE’S NOT RATIONAL WHEN HE’S UPSET.

I’M SRY HE SAID IT THOUGH. IT MADE ME FEEL BAD.

DON’T. I KNOW U AREN’T LIKE THAT. I KNOW WHAT WE ARE AND THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS

OOPS, HARPER, G2G THEY NEED ME IN THE SOUND BOOTH.

Harper also spent her time talking to Cassidy, who was feeling beyond guilty for her part in everything.

“Harper, I am so sorry. You’re parents like didn’t give me an option. It’s like they KNEW you weren’t here,” she said into the phone.

“No, it’s okay, Cassidy. It was my fault for putting you in the middle of it. You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re not the one who gave them the heads up that I was lying.”

“That’s true. I can’t believe that bitch friend of yours.”

“Former bitch friend,” Harper corrected.

“Yeah, former, God, she should have just played along.”

“Well, she didn’t know…”

“Oh please. That girl is smart, when she heard the lie that you told your parents, you know she knew exactly what you were up to and she was so jealous that she wanted to ruin everything for you.”

Harper couldn’t deny that she had the same exact thoughts about Akemi. She was so angry with her for turning her back on her, for blaming her for reasons that made no sense. She and Akemi were friends for so many years, the best of friends, and for Akemi to push her aside so quickly pained Harper. She just didn’t realize how deeply at the time because she had Cassidy and Patrick and all of his band mates, and she didn’t have time to process the fact that her best friend didn’t want to hang out with her anymore.

“So what happened when your parents got there?” Cassidy had asked her.

“Oh, God, you don’t even want to know, it was terrible,” Harper replied.

“Okay, you realize that you HAVE to tell me now. What happened?”

Harper filled her in on the events that happened the day before from the moment her parents stepped into the apartment to the flight home.

“Holy shit, your dad said that stuff… about you… in front of Patrick and the other guys?” Cassidy finally said, stunned.

“Yeah, talk about embarrassing. I felt like a baby getting yelled at for touching the stove.”

“Did you tell him that none of that could be true because you’re still a virgin?”

Harper hesitated, “Well…”

“Wait, what? Are you telling me you are NOT virgin anymore!?” Cassidy squealed into the phone.

“Okay, not so loud, I think my parents can hear you from the basement,” Harper whispered.

“What! How did this happen and I did not know about it? I want details, excruciatingly delightful details.”

“Nope, I’m not giving those out. That’s weird,” Harper quickly said.

“Come on. I’ve told you all about me and Derrick’s romps, I want to know what little Punky Patrick is like in the sack.”

“Oh God, that is a terrible nickname, Cass, never use it again,” Harper groaned.

“It’s what I’m using, deal with it. Come on Harper, just tell me what you thought, at least.”

“Fine. It was… really awesome. The first time hurt, but the…”

“Wait, you have had sex with him multiple times? What did you guys fuck like every day while you were there?”

Harper blushed. “Not the first night…”

“Sex freak! I knew you were going to be one!! Oh my God, Harper, this is amazing. When you get back, we are going to Condom Kingdom and I am buying you some edible panties and a vibrator…”

“Whoa, Cassidy, I don’t need all of that stuff, sex with just him is enough,” Harper cut in.

“Whatever, you’ll eventually need to spice things up, especially if you plan on keeping him around.”

Harper felt the familiar tug of anxiety in the pit of her stomach. “Well, when I need it, I’ll get it. I just don’t think we need it now.”

Cassidy sighed. “Okay. But when you do, I’m the one taking you.”

“Deal.”

The one person that she wanted to talk to who hadn’t even tried was her sister. To be fair, Harper didn’t leave her room to even try and make conversation with her, but Charley didn’t try and come talk to her either. She heard her mother at her door and definitely heard her father’s booming voice, but for some reason her sister didn’t want to talk to her. It wasn’t until Harper’s third day of self-imprisonment that she finally heard Charley.

KNOCK. KNOCK.

“Harper?” she heard her call out warily.

Harper was pounding away on her keyboard, her mind focused on her story. The last two days that was all she did, sending completed chapters to Patrick. He said that he loved reading them because it made him feel as if she was still there.

“What do you want?” Harper called out.

“I want to talk to you,” Charley replied.

Harper closed her laptop and jumped off her bed, striding over to the door. She unlocked it and opened it slightly, walking back to her bed.

Charley stepped in her room, shutting and locking the door behind her. “Hey.”

Harper looked at her with as much of a blank face as she could manage. “Hey.”

Charley glanced around her room. “So, how’s your boyfriend?”

Harper looked down at her hands, her fingers starting to pick at her already decimated cuticles. “He’s fine. Busy with the recording stuff.”

Charley walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge. “Oh. That’s good.” she was silent for a second before bursting out with, “Harper, why didn’t you tell me?”

Harper just shrugged, keeping her eyes down. “I didn’t want a lot of people to know. I thought that the less people who knew the less likely it would be for mom and dad to find out.” she grunted. “Boy was I wrong.”

“They were pissed off when they got home from the store that day. And when they couldn’t reach you, I got a little scared too. I mean, Harper, what if something happened to you?”

Harper threw up her hands. “What could have happened!? I was with Patrick and his friends, I was safe. They would have protected me from anything that could have happened.”

“You don’t know that Harper. What if you were at a party and someone started shooting up the place?”

“I wasn’t in Detroit or Camden Charley,” Harper retorted.

“Okay, I got that, but… Harper, something could have happened. I don’t know I think it’s kind of selfish.”

Harper’s eyes lit up with rage. “Selfish?! Oh come on, Charley, stop being a hypocrite. Let’s talk about selfish and how I had to turn the other way while you and Austin had sex on your bed in our old room. Never mind that I was totally uncomfortable the whole time and grossed out, but I did it because mom and dad wouldn’t let you and him down there by yourselves and I knew you wanted to do that… stuff.”

Charley blushed. “Okay, you have a point.”

“Thanks,” Harper said acerbically.

“Well, I’m glad you’re home,” Charley offered weakly. “I really have missed you. It’s not been the same since you left. I mean Austin is so busy with football because the scouts are hounding him and all my friends are just so lame… And you and I haven’t really talked in a while.”

Harper started feeling a touch of remorse. It was true that since she started dating Patrick and hanging out with Cassidy more that she hadn’t been checking in on her sister as much. She figured that Charley was busy anyway, what with it being her senior year of high school and all. She didn’t think Charley really wanted to talk to her all of the time.

“Sorry,” Harper said in a low voice. “I’ve been so caught up with everything at school that I guess I just…”

“It’s okay. I mean, I get it. You’ve fallen in love. I can’t really blame you. I’m actually happy for you,” Charley said.

“Really?” Harper looked up at her with a unsure smile.

“Yeah!” Charley exclaimed. “Harper, you deserve a great guy, and it seems like this Patrick guy is pretty awesome.”

“He is,” Harper said warmly. “I mean, he’s definitely not your type, but,”

“He’s the perfect guy for you,” Charley finished. “I know. I figured you weren’t going to fall in love with someone like Austin or your roommate’s boyfriend.” She patted Harper’s leg. “I hope I get to meet him someday soon.”

“Oh you will. You’ll have to come visit me for a weekend. We can go to one of his band’s shows and then hang out at Pete and Andy’s house afterward. It would be a blast.”

Charley laughed. “It’s so weird hearing you talk about partying and hanging out with people. I feel like I’m seeing a whole new side of you.”

“Being with Patrick has made me open up more, I guess,” Harper replied.

“And how open are we talking?” Charley asked her, winking at her innuendo.

Harper wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Charley…”

“What? You didn’t think I was curious? My older sister doing daring things like lying to our parents, driving to a big city and spending a few nights in the same bed as her boyfriend? Come on, I’m sure you two did it.”

“You and Cassidy are so alike you know that?” Harper said, sighing. “Yes, we had…” she paused and said in a lower voice, “sex.”

Charley giggled. “My big sister is all grown up.”

“Oh please,” Harper muttered. “Having sex doesn’t make you a grown up. Why does everyone keep saying that?”

“I don’t know, I just figured that’s what you say,” Charley replied offhandedly. “So, I know you are on like a hunger strike or whatever, but Austin is having a party at his parents’ house tonight and I want you to come with me.”

Harper squirmed in her spot. “I don’ t know Charley. I may go to some parties and stuff now, but going to a party back here? It’s not like I had a lot of friends in high school.”

“So what!? You’ll be with me. Come on, we haven’t hung out in a long time. It’ll be fun.”

She had to admit that she was getting tired of her room, and felt like a complete loser sitting there on her computer while her boyfriend was out recording songs and probably heading to another party that night. A bit of jealousy came over her at the fact that he would be out with his friends, getting drunk and fending off (she hoped) girls who wanted to sleep with him because he was in a band.

“Okay, fine. Help me put an outfit together though. Just because I go to parties now, does not mean I know how to dress for one still.”

Charley loved the challenge and threw an outfit together for Harper to wear and even helped her with her makeup and hair. As they were finishing up, Harper got a call from Patrick. She was sitting in her desk chair as Charley was curling her hair, and she jumped out of her chair to grab her phone, knocking her head against the hot barrel of the iron. “Ow!” Harper exclaimed as she answered the phone.

“Harper are you okay?!” Patrick said, his voice ringing out of the speaker.

“Yes, I’m fine,” Harper said weakly. “Charley was curling my hair and I kinda jumped to quickly to answer your call and the barrel hit my head.”

“Jeez, sounds brutal,” Patrick quipped.

“Utterly,” Harper said, smiling. “Anyway, how are you? How’s that song going, what was it called?”

“I’ve Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea that Says You Should Shut Your Mouth?”

“That’s not a song title, that’s a freakin’ sentence!” Charley cut in.

“Charley!” Harper hissed. “Sorry, I have you on speaker so she can keep doing my hair. But, she has a point.”

Patrick laughed. “Pete’s idea. I think we will have to shorten it to Summer Song when we play it live.”

“Then why not just call it that?” Charley asked him.

“Umm…”Patrick trailed off as he was thinking.

“Charley, it’s their song, they can call it whatever they want,” Harper said.

“Fine, bring your head back here.”

“So, what are you guys up to?” Harper asked, turning her attention back onto Patrick.

“Well, we just finished our session. Two more to go and then we are driving back to Philly,” he answered. “Pete and I got into a little argument about some chord progression, but it’s all good now.”

“Who won?”

“Well, when it’s about lyrics, he typically wins out, but on music, it’s me.” She could hear the proud smile on his face through the phone. “But anyway, we are about to head out to some place that Martin and Rich want to take us to. They said it was a surprise?”

Harper took to biting her nails nervously. “Oh yeah? Where do you think they’re taking you?”

“I don’t know. I’m sure it’ll be someplace with alcohol. Those guys love to drink.”

“Yeah.”

“So, what are you doing? Besides getting burnt by a curling iron,” he chuckled.

“Very funny. No, we’re actually getting ready. Charley has somehow convinced me to go to a party at her boyfriend’s house.”

“Oh yeah? Who’s all going to be there?”

“I don’t know, a bunch of people I never talked to in high school.”

“I think he wants to know if there will be any hot guys there,” Charley retorted.

“What!” Patrick exclaimed. “I don’t…”

“It’s okay, Harper is too in love with you to see other guys,” Charley said.

Harper turned around and glared at her sister, who was just grinning. “Oh, well, I wasn’t. Okay,” Patrick stammered.

“Patrick, I have to go and kill my sister now,” Harper said. “Have fun tonight and be careful.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Patrick said. “But I want you to make sure you’re careful. I mean me and the guys aren’t there to make sure nothing goes wrong.”

“Boy I feel so lucky, four of my very own bodyguards,” Harper quipped. “I’ll be careful babe, promise.”

“Good, all right, well I love you Harper.”

“Love you too, Patrick, I’ll talk to you later.”

They hung up and Charley let out a long ‘Awww.’ Harper cringed. “Are you finished yet? I’m starting to regret saying yes to you.”

Eventually, they finished and headed out to Austin’s house. Austin lived in a modern style mansion in the gated community in town. His parents owned several of the drugstores in the their town and had a lot of disposable income, which Charley was hoping would be hers one day when she and Austin got married. Austin’s parents loved going away for weekend vacations, which meant that Austin had the house to himself, a lot.

They pulled up into his driveway, and Harper tried to calm the nerves she was feeling when she saw all of the other cars. She should have been used to this; she went to parties like this with Patrick all of the time. There were always a lot of people, and in most cases, people she didn’t even know. At least at this party she would know a lot of the guests.

Charley led them into the house, and they were instantly greeted by familiar faces. A lot of people were surprised to see Harper there and there were girls who blatantly ignored her just six months back who were now hugging her and asking her how college was. Harper felt a little smug when she had seen their rapid weight gain and tried to hide her smirk.

“Harper?? Holy shit, I did not know you were coming!” Austin exclaimed when her and Charley found him. He picked her up into a hug. Austin was bulky in the chest and arms and taller than any of the guys in the band. Harper had to hand it to her sister. She did manage to pick the friendliest of the football players at their school to be in a relationship. He never made Harper feel weird or self-conscious.

“Hey Austin, yeah, Charley convinced me to get out of my bedroom, for once,” she replied.

“Good, I’m glad… hey, I heard about your parents cock blocking you in Chicago. Dude, that must have sucked.”

Harper narrowed her eyes at Charley who just shrugged her shoulders and mouthed, ‘sorry.’

“Yeah, it wasn’t great. But, it’ll be okay.”

“Yeah, when Charley told me, I was like, ‘your sister did what?’ I mean I gotta hand it to ya Harper, that’s some bold shit. I’m proud of you.” He squeezed her shoulder.

“Wow, uh, thanks Austin,” Harper replied. “So, where’s the alcohol?”

Austin showed them to the fridge and handed Harper a bottle of beer. Harper took it and started her slow road to intoxication. She remembered how nervous she was about drinking for the first time, and in a few short months, it seemed so commonplace to her that it lost its aura of recklessness fast.
Once Austin and Charley got together, they started groping each other, laughing and kissing as they sucked down their beer. Harper felt a little wistful in that moment, wishing that Patrick was there. Instead of dwelling on it though, she decided to amble around the party and people watch. Before, if Akemi or Charlie dragged her to a party, she would hide in a room or in the farthest corner, pretending that whatever was on her phone (which was usually Tumblr posts about Doctor Who, Harry Potter and the like) was more interesting than the party.

Through the living room she went, which was quickly converted into a dance floor, and then through the large dining room where some football players had set up a beer pong table. She even ventured into Austin’s game room, where guys were playing Grand Theft Auto on a wide 70’’ flat screen. She could feel herself buzzing after a few drinks, and eventually made it back to the kitchen, where she found herself coming face to face with the one person she didn’t want to see.

“Harper?” She looked drunker than Harper was, her eyes bloodshot and glazed over as if she was also high. Her long, black hair was tied up in a messy bun and she was dressed in the shortest skirt that Harper had seen.

Harper brought her now fourth beer to her lips. “Akemi,” she said stonily. Akemi was giving her best fake smile, but it receded when she realized that Harper was not going to be playing fake with her.
There were a few other people with her, two of the girls who cheered with Akemi and a few guys that used to be on the basketball team. They were all looking at Harper with disgust, which confused her a little bit.

“How are you?” Akemi asked her, emphasizing each word.

“I’ve been better,” Harper replied shortly. “How about you?”

“Oh, I am just GREAT,” Akemi said back. “I heard about what happened to you. Sorry about ratting you out to your parents. If I had known I might have been able to prevent them ruining your week with your boy toy.”

“Yeah, you sound really sorry about it,” Harper said, raising an eyebrow.

Akemi just shrugged and the crowd around her snickered. “So tell me Harper, is it really true though?”

Harper glanced at the other people around her, their eyes all staring at her as if they knew something that she didn’t. “Um, I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

“Oh come on, about your boyfriend and his friends,” Akemi prompted her.

“Huh?” Harper was a little confused now.

Akemi rolled her eyes. “Come on Harper, there’s not need to be shy about it, we all know what you did.”

“Um, I have no idea what your talking about,” Harper stated.

“Harper!” She turned and saw Charley pushing toward her with Austin in tow.

“Isn’t it true that you spent the entire time in Chicago fucking all of them?” Akemi blurted out. “I hear you had all of them in you at least a dozen times.”

Harper could feel a lump forming in her throat, as her breath got caught. “W…What?”

“Harper, get away from her,” Charley said, getting up to her and grabbing her arm. “Akemi, go fuck yourself.”

“Oh come on Charley. You aren’t the little bit curious about what your sister was doing with five guys in a van for like 11 hours?” The snickering around her grew louder and Harper could feel her face burning up. She closed her eyes, thinking of Patrick holding her, telling her that everything was going to be okay. “I bet they had her hopped up molly and she was giving out blow jobs like it was the Bogo at Payless!”

“Hey Harper, if I had known you were that fucking wild, I would have had you suck my dick a long time ago!” One of the guys, she thought his name was Brad, shouted and the snickering swelled into laughter.

“Harper, it’s going to be okay, I promise. I love you” she heard in her head, Patrick’s face swimming in front of her eyes. She could feel her breathing calm down, her heart starting to beat just a bit slower.

“Brad, she wouldn’t touch your disease infested cock with a ten foot pole!” Charley shouted. “Come on, Harper, let’s go.” She could feel Charley pulling her arm.

Harper’s eyes sprung open and stared straight at Akemi, fire emanating from them. “Akemi, you shouldn’t go around spreading lies about people. That tends to bite you in the ass.”

Akemi started to retaliate, but Harper moved quickly, dumping her beer all over Akemi’s head. Akemi screeched. “You fucking weirdo!” and all of the people around her jumped out of her way, avoiding the beer. Harper couldn’t help but smile as she watched the amber colored liquid dripping onto Akemi’s shirt.

“Say what you want about me Akemi, but at the end of the day, you’re still someone’s one night stand. That’s all you’ll ever get.” Shaking with anger and embarrassment, Harper spun on her heel. “Can we go now?” she asked Charley and her sister just nodded dumbly, unable to believe what she saw. They tore through the party, all of the other kids’ eyes staring at her. She could hear the whispers, but she didn’t care. She didn’t plan on coming back there anymore or seeing any of them ever again.

“Jeez, Harper, college has changed you,” Charley joked as they stepped into the car.

Harper hugged herself tight, leaning her head back against the headrest. Silently, her eyes filled up with tears and she started crying.

“Hey, hey Harper, it’s okay!” Charley exclaimed, growing serious. She left the car in idle and reached over to hug her sister. “Don’t let them get to you. They’re all assholes. Austin is going to beat all of their asses.”

“I… I c..c.can’t believe s..sh..she would say that stuff about me,” Harper sniffed, wiping her tears away.

“Akemi has always been a ladder climber. She doesn’t care about having real friends, she cares about having a lot of friends. Screw her. What should it matter, you’re never coming back to this stupid town after you graduate anyway.” Charley rubbed her back. “Call Patrick. I’m sure that will make you feel better.”

Harper pulled her phone out of her purse and dialed Patrick’s number. It rang several times before going to voicemail. She hung up before it could record. “I guess he’s busy.”

“What! Harper, call again,” Charley ordered, pulling the car into drive.

Harper tried again and this time the phone only rang twice before going to voicemail. Did he just ignore my call? Harper asked herself, staring at the phone in disbelief. She couldn’t believe Patrick would ignore her call.

“No answer still?” Charley asked her.

“No, he probably has the ringer off,” Harper said, omitting the fact that the second time he had purposely ignored her call. “It’s okay, I’m fine,” she said sullenly, curling up in her seat and staring out the window, trying to ignore the nasty feeling in the pit of her stomach.