The New Face of Failure

Oh please... she's a heartbeat away from tattooing your name on her ass. – Center Stage

Dancing was an easy way for Harper to get comfortable and Brendon made that even easier because he simply didn’t care how he looked when he danced. He was all over the place, twirling her around, knocking into other couples, and at one point he even tried to do a split on the floor. The goofier he got the more relaxed Harper got and she enjoyed dancing with him because she didn’t feel like she had to impress him like she wanted to impress Patrick. She wanted Patrick to like everything about her, and she didn’t want him to know about her horrible secret: her inexplicable fear of everything.

After a few dances, Harper motioned to Brendon that she wanted something to drink. She had just thrown up all the tequila that Pete and Charlie had fed her earlier and she was feeling dehydrated from that and the dancing. Brendon led her back into the kitchen.

“Thanks Brendon for the dance, it was fun, it really was,” she said to the boy. He was smiling wide and happy.

“No, thank you Harper. I enjoyed it A LOT.”

“Okay, Romeo, give the girl some space. She’s not into babies,” Pete remarked, pulling Brendon away from her and handing him another beer. He also had a water bottle for Harper, and she gave Pete a grateful look and took a swig.

“Oh man,” she sighed, enjoying the refreshing feel the water brought. “I have never appreciated water until this moment.” Pete gave her an amused look.

Harper’s eyes then searched the kitchen area for Patrick. She didn’t know how long they were on the floor, but it couldn’t have had been that long. “Where’s Patrick?” she asked them. Her fear started to catch up with her then when she suddenly had the thought that he might have left her alone there at that house with a bunch of boys she barely knew. Well, you barely know him either, she said to herself, trying to reason out the fear that was again taking over her mind.

“I don’t know, he was over there chugging down my whiskey,” Pete commented, pointing over to the sink area, where a half empty container of whiskey sat. “Hmm, that’s weird. Hey Joe!”

She looked over at Joe, who had his phone out and was filming Charlie freestyle rapping. “Shh, you’ll ruin the vine!” Joe chastised Pete.

“Seriously?” Pete walked over and grabbed his phone.

“Wha, Pete, what the fuck man?” Charlie cried out, stopping his rap.

“Where’s Patrick? Harper is looking for him.” Pete gave Joe a foreboding look and Joe looked alarmed.

“Dude, I don’t know. He was just over there a little bit ago. I can’t keep track of that little sprite boy. Try outside?”

Pete nodded and pulled Harper by the arm. “We will find your knight-in-shining-armor.”

He walked her outside onto their back porch and Harper’s eyes scanned the deck and stopped on the far corner and the image there seared itself into her memory. A blonde girl in tube top had cornered Patrick and her hands were tousling up his hair as her lips were pressing against his. Harper could feel her nausea returning and her chest tightening again.

“Oh, fuck, Avalyn,” Pete muttered. He pushed Harper out of the way and marched toward them.

“Oh no, it’s fine!” Harper called out to him, not wanting to create a scene, but Pete seemed to already have his mind made up.

He grabbed Avalyn by the back of the arm and pulled her off of Patrick. “Ow, Petey!” she exclaimed, turning around quickly and slapping him on the arm. “Why did you do that? You said you were too old for me!”

Pete wasn’t looking at her though. “Seriously, man? How drunk are you?” He stared intently at Patrick.

Harper didn’t have to be right next to him to tell that Patrick was beyond drunk. He looked at Pete with a glassy, spaced out look.

“I dunno,” he slurred. “I ha soma tha stuff o Avalyn’s too.”

Pete shook his head. “Are you stoned too?”

Patrick just shrugged. “Nefer been, I dunno.”

“Shit.” He grabbed Patrick by the crook of his elbow. “You’re fucking everything up.”

That was when Patrick’s hazy eyes met hers. “Arper,” he said softly. He pushed Pete off of him and stumbled over to her. As he got closer, she could smell the harsh stench of whiskey and tangy scent of weed on his clothes and it stung her nostrils. He was giving her a loopy grin, and she wondered if he even knew what he was just doing with that girl. He reached out for her hand. “You are the mos beau’ful girl I haf ever see,” he slurred.

She felt her cheeks heating up. “Uh, thanks Patrick, but you’re really drunk right now,” she said. He leaned forward, well, it looked more like he was falling forward and she jumped out of his way. Luckily, Pete was close by to grab him. One rule Harper had always given herself was to not let her first kiss with a guy be when he was completely wasted.

“Whoa, there buddy. I don’t think you want to do that right now,” Pete said, grabbing him firmly by the shoulders and holding him up. Pete looked at Harper apologetically. “So, um, were you planning on going back with him tonight?”

Harper hadn’t even thought about that. She felt stupid and naïve, just like the girls said she was. She went with a boy she barely knew all the way out to some random neighborhood and she now had no way of getting back. She could feel her panic rising. “I was, yeah,” she breathed.

Pete looked at her, concerned. “It’s going to be all right, Harper, calm down. You can stay in my room. When he’s slept and sobered up, he can drive you back to campus tomorrow.” He crossed his fingers. “No one will try any funny business with you, promise.” Then he dragged Patrick into the house, grumbling something under his breath the whole way.

Harper followed them into the house.

“Dude is Patrick wasted?” Joe exclaimed. He turned on his phone. “Okay, this I’m recording.”

Patrick shrugged off Pete. “Gerroffme.” He stumbled over to Joe.

“Patrick, can you feel your face right now?” Joe asked him.

“Negative Ghost Rider,” Patrick replied. He then pointed at the phone and said, “Hey! Hey! I have some very important news to report!” He paused and everyone in the room looked at him with interest.

Harper just gawked at him. “Oh boy, Patrick’s drunk,” Andy commented, coming up behind her.

Then Patrick jumped in the air and said, “Cannonball!!” and when he came down he landed on a wet spot, slipped and fell on his bottom. The room exploded in laughter and Harper rushed to help him up.

“Patrick, are you okay?”

“Ugh, now one of you kids go down there and find my nuts!” he exclaimed, pointing at his friends.

“Did you just quote 50 First Dates?” she said to him, as she grabbed his arm.

“Patrick goes into IMDB mode when he’s drunk,” Andy explained. “I think before that he was referencing Anchorman.”

As she helped Patrick up, she felt his hands grab her hair. “I love your hair,” he murmured. She could feel everyone staring at them, and she hated that kind of attention. “Harper, Harper, hey Harper,” he said, repeating her name multiple times. Joe was trying to stifle his laughter as he continued to film Patrick.

“What is it, Patrick?” She tried to pull his hands out of her still damp hair.

“I’m gonna give you the best blow J ever, with my mouth,” he said.

“Oh God, I can’t take it! This is the fucking best ever!” Joe exclaimed, bursting out in roaring laughter.

Harper looked at Pete who was also laughing, except when he saw the hurt in her eyes, he broke in and pulled Patrick away from her. “Hey man, let’s go ice those balls, and maybe your ass too.”

“Aw come on man! I was certain he was going to do some Spaceballs next!” Joe shouted after them.

Pete and Patrick started to walk away, although Pete did most of the walking and Patrick kind of lagged along, until the song changed and Daft Punk’s song came on the speakers. “Holy smokes!” Patrick exclaimed, pushing away from Pete.

“Dude, what are you doing?” Pete cried out.

“I love this song!!” then he started singing it at the top of his lungs and dancing around, trying to flip his hat like Michael Jackson.

“Yes, this is even better,” Joe said, turning his iPhone in Patrick’s direction. “I’m getting such good blackmail footage for years later when our band is super famous.”

“Yeah, poor Patrick,” Andy remarked, sounding sympathetic, although his grin said otherwise.

Patrick turned and looked at Harper. “Harper, come on! It’s time to get lucky!” he shouted and he started doing some weird hip thrusting motion and grabbed Pete to dance with him.

Harper slinked back behind Joe. “I now have confirmed that I will never smoke weed, ever,” she said.

Joe, who was still filming it, said, “Patrick doesn’t get drunk or high often, but when he does, it’s legendary.”

After that, she spent the rest of the night, hiding out in Pete’s room, which was littered with action figures, video games, and a few guitars. She laid down on the bed and stared up at his ceiling, wondering how she, of all people, ended up there in the bed of a boy she had just met that night, who wasn’t even the boy she came to the party with in the first place. She was pretty sure that Pete was even a lot older than her and Patrick, at least by three or four years. She could hear the party simmering down outside of the door and slowly the conversation died down, the music went off and the house was eerily quiet. Harper closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep, but the feeling of being somewhere new with people she barely knew scared her. She got up and crept out of the room. All of the lights in the house were out. She tip-toed down the hall and into the living room. There was Patrick passed out on the couch, his t-shirt pulled up slightly so she could see the pale skin that glowed when the moonlight from the window hit it.

She didn’t know why she had gotten up, or why she felt compelled to stand there watching him. A part of her was hoping that he would have also been up and sober, or could feel her presence and woke up. All she knew was that she was a little upset with him for leaving her alone at the party and going off to make out with another girl when she was certain that he brought her to that party because he liked her.

“Harper?” The whisper startled her and she spun on her heel and saw Pete, half-naked in a pair of basketball shorts only standing there scratching his head.

“Pete,” she gasped, her eyes staring intently at the tattoo of a bat with a heart in the middle of it that was inked directly on his pelvis. Oh dear lord, she muttered to herself.

“I’m not gonna lie, you’re being kinda creepy right now,” he said, glancing over her shoulder at Patrick. “I’m sorry about Patrick.”

She waved her hand nonchalantly. “It’s okay,” she said, although it really wasn’t.

Pete leaned against the wall. “He really likes you, you know.”

Flustered, she looked away from him. “Oh, I don’t know about that…”

“No, I do though. We’re best friends and best friends tell each other everything,” Pete smiled. “He’s not very good at this.”

She looked up at him. “Can I be honest with you?” he nodded. “Neither am I.” That made him smile bigger.

“Man, you two are gonna be hard, you know that?” He laughed lightly. “Promise me you won’t let tonight end everything. That girl, she’s a slut and she’s been gunning for Patrick ever since he lost all his weight and we started getting more gigs.”

“He seemed to be enjoying it too,” Harper pointed out gloomily.

“He was drunk and stoned out of his mind. Did you see how much of that whiskey he poured down his throat? Trust me, he didn’t know what was really happening. If he could have it his way, you would have been that girl.”

“Not when he’s drunk like that,” she replied.

Pete tilted his head from side to side. “Okay, not exactly like that, but you get my point.” He walked over to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “You should get some rest. I’m gonna be mad if I end up having to bunk with Andy and you sleepwalk all night. I put a lot of money into that mattress because my sleep is just as important to me as my music.”

She smiled. “Okay, I’ll get some sleep, or at least try.”

He lightly nipped her chin with his fist in a ‘atta boy’ fashion. “Good night Harper. I’m glad Patrick met you.” He walked upstairs to Andy’s bedroom and she crept back to his bedroom, feeling a little more at ease than she did a few minutes before.

When she woke up, she had an instant flash of panic of not remembering where she was, but when she saw a picture of the four guys all huddled together next to a broken down white van, her mind calmed down. Although Pete had dark blue curtains up, they weren’t closed all of the way, so some of the early morning light peeked through. Rolled over and looked at the alarm clock on his nightstand. Oops, more like late morning, she thought as her eyes focused on the time: 11:00 AM. She wondered if the guys were already up. Then she suddenly remembered that she had never texted Akemi or Cassidy that she was planning on staying the night. She reached for her phone, which she had kept under the pillow. When she clicked it open, there were several text messages from both Akemi and Cassidy.

WHERE ARE U? HARPER QUITE SCARIN’ ME, Akemi had texted around one in the morning.

HARPER UR BITCHY FRIEND KEEPS TEXTIN’ ME ABOUT U. CALL ME. Cassidy had texted around the same time.

SHOULD I CALL THE POLICE? IM GETTING REAL NERVOUS. PLZ CALL ME!! Akemi texted at 2:30.

I TOLD HER U R HAVING SEX. U BETTER BE CUZ THIS SHIT IS ANNOYING. Cassidy had texted at 3:00 AM.

Then there was a text from Akemi at 10:00 AM that said, IF UR DEAD I WILL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF. IF I DON’T HEAR FROM U BY TONITE I’M CALLING THE POLICE!!!

Harper sighed and dialed Akemi’s number.

“What the hell Harper?!” Akemi shouted into the phone.

“Good morning to you too,” Harper muttered.

“Harper! Where are you? Do you need me to come get you? I mean, I can call up Tiffany or Amber they both have cars here…”

“No, no, I’m fine, Akemi. Patrick will drive me back,” she said, although she wasn’t sure if he was even going to be up to the task.

“So… what happened last night? Did you cash in your v-card? What did he look like under those skinny jeans? Is he surprisingly ripped?” There was intrigue in Akemi’s voice.

“Um, nothing actually happened last night, I’m still, uh, still a virgin,” Harper admitted. “I had a little too much to drink and threw up and then Patrick got high and… yeah nothing happened.”

“What!? Well, first and foremost, you shouldn’t drink so much before you plan on having sex and secondly, this just proves that this guy isn’t right for you. You need to be with a guy who knows how to take charge and handle a woman,” Akemi declared. Harper sighed. She really wasn’t planning on having sex with Patrick that night at all, but she was hoping for a kiss, maybe. That didn’t mean Patrick wasn’t capable of taking charge… she just didn’t think she had enough time to see that side of him yet.

“Okay, whatever,” Harper said, trying to deflect Akemi’s argument. “I just wanted to let you know I’m alive so you don’t have to call the police.”

“When are you coming back to campus? I want to hear all the embarrassing details of last night.”

“I don’t know. I have to get up and see if Patrick is up yet,” she replied.

“Okay, but as soon as you get back, call me. I’m super hung over and I’ll be lounging all day,” Akemi said.

After they hung up, she decided to also call Cassidy.

“I knew you weren’t dead,” were the first words out of Cassidy’s mouth.

“Nope, alive and well, sort of,” Harper replied blandly. “Just wanted to let you know I was okay. I saw the text messages.”

“Did you call that friend of yours? I mean every time Derrick was about to get off, she seemed to be calling me. I had to put my phone on silent so that we could finish.” Harper stuck her tongue out in disgust.

“Uh, I really didn’t need to know that, Cassidy,” she replied.

“Ah still feeling prudish? Guess that means that emo boy didn’t score last night.”

“It got a little complicated,” Harper replied.

“With boys like that, it always does. Don’t worry, I was talking to Derrick and his friend Alex is single and he’s pretty freakin’ hot. I have already set us up a double date.”

Harper felt her chest constricting again. “What? Cassidy, I don’t know about that, I don’t think it’s a good idea…"

“Oh stop it. Your little emo boy will just have to learn how to share you.” She paused and then said, “So when can I expect you back? Derrick isn’t up yet.”

Harper sighed. “Don’t worry, it’ll be a while.”

“Good, if you see the door shut, please knock first.”

Cassidy hung up on her and then there was a loud knock on Pete’s door. “Harper, you up yet?” It was Pete. Oh, he probably wants to get in his room to change, she thought.

She jumped up and searched for her bra. She could never sleep with it on because it was just so uncomfortable, but she didn’t want to walk around Pete and Andy’s house without it on either.

She opened the door and Pete was standing there shirtless again. In the daylight, she could get a better look at the tattoo that was strategically placed on his pelvis. “Hey, hey, eyes up here, little girl,” Pete said with a grin.

She felt herself blush and looked away. “Sorry, I…”

“Never seen a tattoo before?” Pete asked her, raising an eyebrow.

“Not down there, no,” she replied. “So that makes girls get all crazy and stuff?”

Pete leaned against the door frame. “You tell me, you seem to be unable to stop staring at it.”

She blushed, and then understood why Patrick had told her that Pete was the one that so many girls liked. He was charming, friendly, playful, and sincere, all of the characteristics that any girl would want in a boyfriend. “The jury is still out.”

He laughed heartily. “Okay then, I guess I’ll have to live with that. So, have a good night’s sleep?”

“Yeah, that is one amazing mattress, I can see why you care so much about it,” she replied.

“You have no idea,” he said, “Hey, you hungry? We have cereal, lots of cereal.”

“Cap’n Crunch?” she asked him.

“Hell yes, we have the Cap’n!” he exclaimed and motioned for her to come with him to the kitchen.

“So… is Patrick up?”

Pete looked at her with that knowing grin. “He is up and very regretful. We had the pleasure of filling him in on some of his funnier moments of last night.”

“All of last night?” she asked tentatively.

Pete stopped. “If you’re asking if he knows about making out with Avalyn, then yes, he knows. Joe couldn’t wait to lay that one on him.”

“It’s okay that he did it, I mean, we’re just friends,” she hastily said.

Pete laughed. “Yeah, okay.”

They walked into the kitchen and Patrick was sitting on a stool at the kitchen island, his head down on it, a large glass of orange juice next to him. Joe and Andy were both talking at him, telling him all about how wasted he was the night before.

“Dude, you’re ass must be killing you because you fell really hard on it,” Joe exclaimed.

“It does, I don’t think I’m going to be walking right for the rest of the week,” Patrick groaned.

“Taken out of context that sounds really awkward,” Pete joked as he and Harper walked into the room.

“Hey Harper, good morning to you, gentlewoman!” Joe called out, bowing slightly.

She looked at him warily. “Good morning.”

“We were just giving Patrick all of the juicy details of what he’s like when he’s drunk and high,” Andy explained.

That’s when Patrick peered around at her, his eyes full of regret and shame. A part of Harper wanted to feel angry with him for embarrassing her in front of the other boys, her anger dissipated quickly as he spurted out his apology. “Harper, I am so sorry about last night. I don’t know what I was thinking. I thought I had a higher tolerance than that.”

“Patrick, you’re not heavy anymore so your tolerance level went down as your weight did,” Joe pointed out, and Patrick grimaced.

“Really, Joe?” Pete said testily, walking over to the fridge to get the milk out for Harper’s cereal.

“What? It’s a scientific fact. I’m not making fun of Patrick.” He gave Patrick a matter-of-fact look.

“No, you’re probably right about that,” Patrick sighed.

Harper sat down next to him on an empty stool. She leaned in and nudged his shoulder. “I guess I kind of deserved it. I did start the party off by throwing up everywhere.”

He looked at her and smiled with relief. “Yeah, but you didn’t…” he trailed off.

“Try to do a cannonball in the middle of the kitchen? No, that one is all you,” she said quickly trying not to bring to mind the image of Patrick making out with that blond girl named Avalyn.

He grinned. “Yeah, not one of my finer moments.”

“Au contraire, I think it was one of your best moments,” Joe retorted.

“Really? I was leaning on the Michael Jackson style dancing,” Andy replied. “We really need to work that into our set at some point.”

“Dude, yes, we can get Patrick to sing a cover of an MJ song. That’d be so bad ass,” Pete agreed.

“You sure you want him to dance to it though?” Harper teased. All of the guys looked at each other and started laughing. Harper bit her lip and looked at Patrick, “just kidding.” He was laughing too, though, so she didn’t feel so bad about making the joke.

“R&B is in my heart, and that includes Mr. Jackson,” Patrick admitted.

“Then you guys should incorporate like that into your music, you know? Hip hop and stuff. I think hip hop and rock belong together really,” she replied.

“Smart girl,” Pete said, handing her a bowl for her cereal. “Don’t worry, we’ve already been thinking about that.”

Patrick nodded. “It’s my fault, I think.”

Harper took a bite of her Cap’n Crunch and suddenly realized how hungry she was, and started shoveling the cereal in her mouth.

“Whoa, there Hunger Games, don’t need to inhale it all, no one is forcing you out of the house,” Pete joked, and she slowed down.

“Sorry, I just realized that I hadn’t eaten since, um, like five o’clock yesterday and what little I did eat I threw up with all that tequila you so graciously gave to me,” she retorted. She glanced at Patrick, who was grinning at her with satisfaction and she smiled back at him shyly. She enjoyed having all of his attention and wondered if the reason she was suddenly inspired with all of these witty thoughts was because she was trying to keep his attention on her.

“Ouch, okay then, we’re still bitter about that,” Pete replied.

“No, just don’t want to let you live it down,” she answered.

Pete laughed. “Patrick, did I mention to you yet how awesome this girl is?”

She felt herself blushing at his compliment and could feel Patrick’s eyes still on her. “Yeah, only about a million times, but it’s okay because she is awesome.”

She looked up from her cereal and met Patrick’s eyes, which were staring intently at her. She held his stare, her eyes and lips smiling.

“Okay, can you two stop with the googly eyes? This is getting too Sixteen Candles for me,” Joe exclaimed.

Harper blushed and looked back down at her cereal and Patrick glared at Joe.

“Oh Joe, you’re just bitter because Bianca didn’t work out,” Andy said, then looking up at the ceiling thoughtfully and counting off with his fingers added, “Or for that matter Jody, or Alissa or even Sarah…”

“Whatever they couldn’t handle what the Trohman was putting down,” Joe said in a grumpy voice.

Pete and Andy started teasing Joe about his lack of prowess with the female race, and that allowed Harper and Patrick to talk amongst themselves.

“So, when do you want to get back to the dorms?” Patrick asked her.

Truthfully, Harper really didn’t want to go back to the dorms. Cassidy and Derrick would probably still be there having sex, and she couldn’t handle Akemi’s 21 questions game. Plus, she really wanted to spend more time with Patrick. “Um, I mean, if you have something you need to do, I can go…”

“Oh, no! I mean, we are going to practice for a little, but you can stick around for that. The guys won’t mind.”

She nodded. “That actually sounds like a lot of fun.”

“Why don’t I take you to my parents’ house and I can grab some of my sister’s clothes for you. You and her look about the same size,” She raised an eyebrow at him, wondering what he exactly meant by that. “I mean you’re both pretty small, so it should be okay,” he added hastily.

“Okay, let’s go.”

He jumped off his stool. “Guys, I’m taking Harper back to my parents’ house,”

“Oh man Patrick, that does not sound cool and suave at all!” Joe whined.

“To get her some of my sister’s clothes,” Patrick finished, giving Joe a sidelong glance.

“Are you sticking around for band practice?” Pete asked her.

“Yeah, if you guys are okay with it?”

“Of course we are,” Andy replied. “Can always use an audience, makes us try harder.”

“Great, we’ll be right back then.” Patrick grabbed her hand, and the feeling of his skin against hers made her heart skip.

She waved at the guys and followed Patrick out of the house and into his blue Honda Civic. It was an older model, not as sleek and rounded as the new ones that were out and the blue was fading a little bit. However, Harper thought it was the exact car that Patrick would own. The drive to his parents’ house didn’t take very long and soon they were outside a two-story, beige vinyl-sided house with a small porch on the front. There was a clutter of mums planted out front amongst some burning bushes, adding a bit of red and gold coloring to the house.

“So, a little bit of a disclaimer before we go inside,” Patrick said, coming up next to her and steering her toward the cement walkway leading to the front door.

“Uh okay?”

“I’ve never, uh, brought a girl home, like just as a friend or you know as a girlfriend, so my mom and stepdad might get a little weird.” He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans, and Harper couldn’t help but look because they drew obvious attention to the area of him that always made Harper blush furiously.

“Oh, okay,” she replied, glancing away, suddenly thankful that she wasn’t a boy.

Patrick unlocked the front door and slipped inside, pulling her with him. The inside of the house looked as quaint as the outside. The front hallway was covered in hardwood and the walls were covered in family pictures. Harper caught one of a small boy smiling with very blond hair and a jacket and tie. “Oh my God, is that you?” she asked him, pointing to the picture.

Patrick looked at the picture and made a face. “Yep, there’s me in all my dorkiness, even back then.”

She looked at him and smiled. “You were cute. Still are.” When she realized what she said, she felt herself get pale. “I mean…”

“Patrick is that you?!” a loud female voice exclaimed, interrupting Harper.

Coming down the stairs was a small woman with graying hair. She had a wide smile and a sparkle in her eyes. “I was wondering when you would get home!” She reached them and drew Patrick into a hug.

“Hi mom, how are you?” he asked her, hugging her back.

She pulled away and looked at Harper. “I’m fine, honey, but I think the better question is who is this?” She held her hand out. “Hello, dear, I’m Patricia, Patrick’s mom.”

Harper took her hand and shook it, and glanced at Patrick. “Hi Patricia, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Harper, a friend of Patrick’s from school.”

“Oh, look at that! First week of school and you’ve already made a new FRIEND,” she emphasized the last word.

“Yep, look at me being all social,” Patrick retorted.

“Harper, you should get a tour of the house. Robert is out in the backyard mowing right now, he’s Patrick’s stepfather. Your sister is at her soccer game. I was really hoping you’d be back this morning for it,” his mother said with slight disappointment in her voice.

“Sorry mom, it was a late night with the concert and everything,” Patrick apologized. “But I actually need to get Harper some of Megan’s clothes.”

His mom looked at her with confused look. “Oh, where is your clothes?”

Harper grimaced. “Um, well, I, uh spilled something on my shirt last night and this is actually one of Andy’s shirts, but I slept in it, so, um…”

“Oh, of course, I understand. Guess you guys aren’t heading back to campus then?”

“I have to practice with the guys, mom,” Patrick explained, slightly frustrated. Harper figured that his mother probably knew this, but for whatever reason chose to ignore this piece of information.

“Oh, yes. The band. I see. Well, Harper, let’s go upstairs and find you something. Do you need to shower too?”

Harper could really use a good shower with female products instead of male products. “Uh, that’d be great actually.”

“Okay good. Patrick, why don’t you go get a shower too, you smell awful.”

Harper giggled at that and Patrick rolled his eyes. “Thanks mom.”

They all walked upstairs and Patrick’s mom took her to Megan’s room to grab some clothes. She helped her pick out a loose fitting tank top and a pair of jean shorts. “So, are you and Patrick dating?” she asked her, as she rummaged through Megan’s drawers.

Harper, who was walking around Megan’s room, looking at her multiple soccer trophies and posters of One Direction on the walls, stopped and looked over at his mom. “Oh, um, no. We’re just friends.”

“Oh,” she said a bit disappointed. “Well, Patrick is a very nice boy. Don’t let that whole band thing fool you.”

Harper glanced at her confused. “Oh I know. Patrick’s great. He’s really talented too.”

“Yes, just like his father and older brother.” His mother then got a faraway look in her eye and she seemed to drift off into her own thoughts. When she snapped out if it, she asked Harper about herself. “So what are you majoring in?”

“Oh , um English.”

“Oh you want to be a teacher?!” she said with some excitement.

“Well, no, I’m not really sure what I want to do. Well, I mean, I do know I want to become a writer, but other than that…” Harper just shrugged.

“A writer? Well, that’s nice. You’re a very pretty girl, I could see your face on the inside of a book jacket.”

Harper chuckled a little bit. “Thank you.”

She then handed Harper the clothes she picked out. “These should fit you. The bathroom is second door on the left.” She started walking out of Megan’s room then stopped. “Can I ask you a question?” she was glancing around shiftily.

“Uh, sure what is it?”

“Is my son gay?” she asked her in a half-whisper.

Harper’s eyes widened. “Uh, no, he’s not, nope. He’s definitely not,” Harper said quickly.

“Okay good. I was just getting worried. I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with it, but he’s always so shy around girls and he spends all his time with that Pete Wentz and I’ve heard things, so, that’s good.” She took a breath and smiled. “The towels are in the bathroom closet.” With that she walked out and headed downstairs.

Harper blinked a few times in surprise. “That was so awkward,” she murmured to herself. She headed out of Megan’s room, clothes in hand and as she walked toward the bathroom, she stopped outside of what must have been Patrick’s room. She could hear a Prince song coming from inside and Patrick singing along to it. She peeked inside his room and saw him in just his striped boxer briefs searching through his closet for an outfit. Harper had seen boys in their swim trunks before, but she had never seen a boy in just his underwear. The sight of his lean body nearly naked made her lower abdomen start to ache again and her heartbeat speed up. Images of him grabbing her naked body and pulling her close to him surfaced in her mind; his lips lightly pressing against her skin, his hands in places only she ever saw. She closed her eyes and listened to his rich voice carry throughout the room, imagining that he was singing it to her while they were laying on his bed.

“You don't have to be rich to be my girl, you don't have to be cool to rule my world, ain't no particular sign I'm compatible with! I just want your extra time and your… Oh hey!”

She opened her eyes and Patrick was staring at her, his face pale with embarrassment. He had put on a t-shirt and was pulling up a pair of grey faded skinny jeans. She shook her head to bring herself back into focus. “Oh, um, sorry, I…”

“How long were you standing there?” he asked her.

“Oh, um, not long, I heard the music and…well, you sound really good singing Prince, you know that?” she said. What she wished she had the courage to do was walk straight up to him and kiss him. If she was Akemi or Cassidy, she probably would have already done it.

“Thanks. I love Prince, he’s one of my biggest, um influences.” He buttoned up his jeans and walked toward her. “It’s a little embarrassing, but when I get ready, I like to get ready to music.” He was nearly on top of her now and she wondered if he could tell that she was just thinking about what it would be like to have sex with him. “Did my mom help you find something to wear?”

She held up the shorts and tank top. “Yep, uh, just have to shower and stuff.” She said, her head getting light now that he was so close and his eyes were studying her. “Your mom asked me if I was your girlfriend,” she suddenly blurted out.

Patrick’s eyes widened. “Wow, really? What did you say?”

She felt her breath catch in her throat. Am I his girlfriend? Is that what he wants to know? “Um, well, I mean, I said, no?” Patrick’s intrigued look fell into something that she thought was disappointment, but she wasn’t sure. “I, uh, yeah, need to shower now.” She tried to make herself move, but her body felt frozen right there, her back against the door frame as he trapped her there. All she wanted to do was kiss him, but her mind was screaming in fear; fear that she wouldn’t be good at it, fear that he wouldn’t really want it, fear that she wasn’t ready for what came next. “Patrick,” she started, but he didn’t let her finish. He placed a hand on the side of her face and he searched her face for any sign of rejection. She just closed her eyes and pursed her lips slightly, readying herself for what would surely happen next. She could nearly feel the heat of Patrick’s breath on her face and she knew that he was going to kiss her. Oh my God, it’s happening! Her mind screamed.

“Patrick did you want to, Oh my!” Harper’s eyes flew open and she felt Patrick pull away and turn around quickly, Harper was guessing so that she couldn’t see how excited he was getting.

“Mom, really? What do you want?” Patrick cried out. He looked flustered and upset.

Harper looked at his mom and then at Patrick. His mother looked happy, but at the same time very embarrassed for walking in on them. “I wanted to know if you want to take back some bottles of water and these cute ice cube trays for your dorm,” she said helplessly.

“I think I’m going to shower now,” Harper announced and she ran down to the bathroom as fast as she could, slamming the door shut behind her, hoping that her embarrassment would wash off like the stench from last night’s party.