Another Sad Song From The Unknowing Life
Prologue
I thought I was the first person to go to the funeral, so I decided to stay in the car with the belt seat unfasten. With a deep breath I got out of the car and walked through the trees and closed my eyes for a few minutes. It wasn’t quiet at all, like it should be. Just exactly in the way she wanted. The music was playing very loud her favorite band.
I wanted to see her before she got buried.
But I was afraid for the second time in my whole life. My steps were very slows, looking at the ground with a poker face. No feelings. No emotions. At least no one could see I was dying inside, since she said goodbye for the last time, I died. I died at the moment I walked into your room at the hospital and what I found out was your body bathed in blood coming from your wrist.
You died in my arms.
My joy and soul were gone with her last breath. I was with her the day she passed away. We had a fight, she was mad at me about something I could not and will never know, that really pissed me off, the clinic and her condition were driving me insane (very ironic to be honest).
In front of the coffin, lying with a pale face, I saw her. There was not blush on her cheeks. Not anymore. She stood still with her eyes closed. I took her hand like I used to do. The wind was could like her body. It was impossible to explain but I felt like breaking down in pieces. My heart was breaking into pieces. My head was a mess - How could you do this to me? - I whispered near to her ear, pretending she would listen to me – How could you do this to all of us? You told me once to invite to you funeral the people who cares about, you would hate and even come from hell if it was full of hypocrites… and guess what? It’s not… there is a lot of people here to say goodbye, to bury you and I fucking wish it wasn’t… because then you will come back like you promised and I… I could kiss you and huge you and will never let you go again…-
I stayed quiet for a few seconds, sobbing.
– How couldn’t you see how much people cared about you? How much we looked after you? How much they loved you? …HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU? Because I won’t stop loving you, I won’t – I could not still stopping the crying and let it came in a sea of tears. –Wake up, I don’t want to miss you, I want you to be here.
I don’t know why, but I started running away from your funeral and fell over the red roses. Over my knees, and screamed from the bottom of my lungs to the emptiness.
Wake up.
I wanted to see her before she got buried.
But I was afraid for the second time in my whole life. My steps were very slows, looking at the ground with a poker face. No feelings. No emotions. At least no one could see I was dying inside, since she said goodbye for the last time, I died. I died at the moment I walked into your room at the hospital and what I found out was your body bathed in blood coming from your wrist.
You died in my arms.
My joy and soul were gone with her last breath. I was with her the day she passed away. We had a fight, she was mad at me about something I could not and will never know, that really pissed me off, the clinic and her condition were driving me insane (very ironic to be honest).
In front of the coffin, lying with a pale face, I saw her. There was not blush on her cheeks. Not anymore. She stood still with her eyes closed. I took her hand like I used to do. The wind was could like her body. It was impossible to explain but I felt like breaking down in pieces. My heart was breaking into pieces. My head was a mess - How could you do this to me? - I whispered near to her ear, pretending she would listen to me – How could you do this to all of us? You told me once to invite to you funeral the people who cares about, you would hate and even come from hell if it was full of hypocrites… and guess what? It’s not… there is a lot of people here to say goodbye, to bury you and I fucking wish it wasn’t… because then you will come back like you promised and I… I could kiss you and huge you and will never let you go again…-
I stayed quiet for a few seconds, sobbing.
– How couldn’t you see how much people cared about you? How much we looked after you? How much they loved you? …HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU? Because I won’t stop loving you, I won’t – I could not still stopping the crying and let it came in a sea of tears. –Wake up, I don’t want to miss you, I want you to be here.
I don’t know why, but I started running away from your funeral and fell over the red roses. Over my knees, and screamed from the bottom of my lungs to the emptiness.
Wake up.