I Love You More Than I Can Ever Scream

Andy's P.O.V:

I couldn't help but wonder why Ash had reacted the way he did when Jake came in earlier, saying about us flirting. At first he acted as if it was true, and then he seemed to be pissed off because he put in his music and blanked Jake and I.
At first I wasn't sure I wanted to talk to Jake about it. But after confirming that Ash was in fact listening to music, I felt as though I would be safe to explain it all to Jake. I told him that I was actually in love with Ashley and always have been, Jake just smiled, and commented reassuringly throughout the whole thing, as I poured my heart out to him. Practically in tears, Jake said one thing that I never thought to be real or even considered by anyone else: "I don't know about you, but I've seen the way Ashley looks at you, dude. He only blushes when he is around you, I think he is just confused or is worried to admit how he feels for you," Jake had left soon after, leaving me to ponder about what he could have meant. Surely it couldn't be true, but then again, I admitted that we do 'flirt', so to speak.

Now that Jake had left, I wanted to know what was bothering Ashley and see if he was okay; who knows, he might even reveal what Jake had said to be true. There was a soft thump as I hopped gracefully from my bunk and proceeded to climb the ladder to Ash's.
My presence startles him at first, but he welcomes me and pauses his music. He is clearly distressed with something because you can see the layer of water in his eyes about to spill down his cheeks.
"Look, I am here for you if you ever need anyone to talk to. And just ignore Jake, because what you feel has nothing to do with him, nor does it have anything to do with me. In fact, it has nothing to do with anyone other than yourself, and you shouldn't let someone's offhand comment get to you. You should probably get some rest," I said, comfortingly, which Ashley returned with a grateful smile. He shyly asked me to stay with him, which I immediately took up because I couldn't bare leaving him whilst he is like this. We snuggled up on his bed, and he slowly closed his eyes, drifting off into what I hope to be a restful sleep.

His arms were wrapped around my waist, and his head rested peacefully upon my chest. I gently stroked his head in a soothing rhythm and watched his breathing slow down to a steady rate. He looks so sweet, so peaceful, he looks like an angel. I know, its cliché, but he does. The way his soft black hair caresses his delicate face, the way his lips lay slightly apart as he sleeps, it just makes him look all the more sexy. It was moments like this that I love, but it is also moments like this that make me wonder what it would be like if Ashley knew how I felt.

Snuggling in to him more, I could smell his sweet, peach perfume, and I smiled. His peach perfume is the one I love best. He blends it with his Axe body spray so it gives him a delicate but manly smell, something that only he would think about doing. I slowly closed my eyes, hoping to drift off into a much needed sleep. As my mind started to blur into temporary unconsciousness, I heard a sleeping Ashley whisper one word, 'Andy...' A small smile played at the corner of my lips as I drifted off into sleep.

It was the hubbub coming from the rest of the guys that woke me up.
"Dude, where did Andy go? He isn't in his bunk!" CC yelled,
"Calm it CC, I think I know where he is," Jinxx said, and I knew for sure that he would find me; I didn't want to move from Ashley, so I just pretended to be sleeping again as he pulled back the curtain.
"Are they finally together then?" CC squealed
"No, I don't think so..." said Jake, he didn't sound too convince. But then again, who would be if he saw two guys in bed sleeping when one of them has a crush on the other. And to make matter worse, Ashley stirred, not quite awake, and buried his head in my hair. That's when I realise how we were lying. I was lying in front of him, with my back towards him and my legs bent to fit on the bed. He was lying pressed right up against me, his legs crooked with mine, so I pretty much had my ass in his lap. His hand had slipped from my waist and was now considerably lower... I prayed to god the guys didn't notice this; I didn't know how they would take it, or how Ashley would for that matter.

Eventually Ashley awoke with a series of sleepy moans, and I finally opened my eyes, surrendering, as I knew I couldn't go back to sleep. The morning light was streaming in, and I could see the guys had already gotten out of bed. Wait... there is morning light? Did we sleep a whole day? My brain whirred as it tried to work everything out. Finally it solved the confusion and I remembered that we had gotten onto the bus late afternoon, not early morning... but still, we slept for an awfully long time. As I went to sit up and get out of bed Ashley's grip on me tightened, and he pulled me back down,
"Don't go."
"Ash, we have to; we have a meet and greet and interview at Hot Topic this morning. It'll be fun, honest,"
"Only if you say so, Batman," his beautiful brown eyes seemed to light up as he said that, with his incredibly sexy and seductive voice. Before I had the chance to get up again, Ash leans over, placing a hand on my chest and kisses me on the lips, straddling me to get across me and off the bed. I can feel my face heat up with blush and my heart race at his touch. Today is going to be a good day, I thought to myself.
It takes up to about 50 minutes to get all our make-up and war paint done, and somehow Ashley seems to take the longest, even though CC has by far the most to do.
"Hurry up Ash; we are going to be late!" I yelled across the bus to him,
"I'm coming," he replied, finally with all his make-up and war paint on.
"Gosh, how can it take you so long just to paint on those stripes? Look at me!" CC whined, and I have to admit, he is right... I don't even understand how anyone could take so long. I do mine quicker than Ashley does, and I have terrible ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder).
"Well, I want to impress, so it has to be perfect," Ash laughed, and I couldn't help but smile; his laugh is damn hot.

The queue of fans waiting outside of Hot Topic for us already was massive; you've got to love our die hard BVB Army, no matter what, they will do everything they can just to see us. As soon as we had sat down in at our table to doors were opened, and the fans were allowed in, forming the line to see us. I was sat on the end of the row, next to Ashley. Soon we were signing albums, and T-shirts, guitars and even drawings of us; some of the drawings and art work were amazing, and it was an awesome feeling to know you had inspired someone so much they bothered to perfect and draw an image of you. A couple fans brought us gifts, which I love. I was given a note book with a hand dawn batman logo on it, and a note stuck to it saying "This is for you; I hope you enjoy it - Sandi" she had bleached white hair, and pretty blue eyes. I put it down by the side of my chair, remembering to keep that with me later. Our fans really seemed to learn about us as individuals; Ashley was given some Hello Kitty stuff, and I received quite a few Batman related things. Our fans never cease to amaze me.

Ashley passed me a copy of the album for me to sign, and as he looked up at me; I found myself lost in his eyes again.
"Oh my God, is Andley real?" a bunch of excited fans asked, pulling me awkwardly out of Ashley's brown eyes,
"What's Andley?" we asked in sync.
"It's your name if you two are going out," they all replied, gaining us some intrigued looks from our band. Shit. I forgot about this morning.
"Err... No. No it isn't real, and no, we aren't going out," Ashley said, blushing slightly, but a hint of sadness lingered in his voice.
"Oh, that's a shame. Sorry. It just really looks like it sometimes," we both gave one another a sideways look, causing us to blush slightly, "Aw, you're blushing. You two really should go out, you know?"
"Oh, err, thank you. I, err, don't think that will happen any time soon, because I am sure most of you girls know that Ash is definitely straight, and so am I," I almost instantly regretted saying the last part, because all we ever talk about is being yourself and not caring what others think, but I can't admit that I'm gay. I could see Jake raising an eyebrow at me out of the corner of my eye, and I knew he was probably thinking the same. Damn it, Andy, you need to just tell Ashley or your fans or something, because you are lying right now. But no, I could never tell Ashley. It's far better if he didn't know.

After the meet and greet we go to the interview; it normally works with the whole band being there and me talking on their behalf, I'm not quite sure why it happens, but it does. I guess it is just because I jump in really quickly and no one wants to butt in. This time, however, they got Ashley and I to the side, and although the band was there, they weren't taking part in the interview. The interviewer started asking some of the questions the fans had given to her and some of her own, but after having an awesome meet and greet we were messing about a bit - well, we are always messing about,
"What colour are your toothbrushes?" she asked
"Black," I answered without even thinking... but in all honesty, she wasn't very interesting. I could hear Ashley was restraining a giggle, and I was worried about him because he wasn't quite himself, almost as if he was lost in thought. I glance over to him, meeting his eye before he turned away, looking shy again. I found myself lost though, I couldn't pull my eyes off him, as my whole train of thought went to him and how 'Andley' just sounded so perfect. I wish I could tell him that.
"You said before 'the greatest thing to do on stage would be to blow someone up' who and why would you blow up?" her persistence annoyed me, pulling me from my thoughts about Ashley and to her question. Her persistence wasn't actually annoying. But it's just the fact she wants an interview from us at bloody 10 in the morning, and I don't really know how to answer the questions.

At the end of the interview we made our way back to the tour bus and I checked my twitter. I couldn't help but smile when I saw a picture of Ashley and me at the meet and greet when the girls asked if Andley was real. Remembering the book Sandi had given me, I leafed through my bag, (I always take a bag to signings to collect anything I'm given) and finding it, I pulled it out and smile to myself as I walked to my bed and sat down before opening it. Inside there was a range of things, from pictures of people dressed up in war paint, to drawings of us; from profiles of us and our characters, to an Andley story. An Andley story... I instantly started reading it, imagining how I would feel if it were true.

Just as I started reading an intimate scene in the story between Ashley and me, Ash walked in, causing me to slam the book shut and throw it under my covers.
"What was that?" he asked, curious as to why I did that,
"N-nothing." Damn. I am so bad at lying.
"Oh sure, because that was very convincing..."
"Screw you, Purdy,"
"Not yet, you won't,"
"I won't ever. I think you should be saying that to those big-boobed girls outside,"
"But I didn't did I... now, Batman, show me what you were hiding or I'll have to come find out myself,"
"Fight me, Purdy,"
"With pleasure, Batman," Ash, jumped up, onto my bed, and grabbed my wrist, pinning it to the bed. He then did the same with my other wrist, and sat on my legs, pinning me down; "Do you give in?" his lips brushing against mine as he leant in so close. I could smell and taste the mint on his breath.
"Never," I say, leaning up a bit, and bringing my legs up so he slips from where he was sat, and repositions himself. He straddles me, pushing me back on the bed. Clearly he wasn't going to let me win.

"You aren't getting up until I've found out what it was you were hiding," I start blushing again, as his lips brush against mine, all I want is to kiss him, but I can't.
"You never let me win. It's not fair; you've been working out again," I whinge
"I've been working out just for this," He chuckled.
"Hmm, have you now? You've been working out just for me?"
"Yeah, I've been working out just so I can beat your ass, Batman." I love it when he calls me his Batman; no one else can make me feel like he does, but right now I am bricking myself because a part of me is so nervous about him sitting on my like this, but I also don't want him to move. He sat back up, resting his back against my legs and stretching his arms out below him, resting them on my butt.
"Ash, what are you doing?" I say sitting up to meet him.
"Oh, nothing, just waiting for you to surrender," his lips touch mine again, but this time they lock around mine. "I love you, Andy,"