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You Found Me
The Fourth Chapter
When we got to Gerard's house, we went through the living room and I threw my bag on the couch. We were heading to the door that led to the basement when I heard Mikey's voice.
"Hey, Gerard, I went to the store and got this new video game, do you want to play?" He walked into the hallway. "Oh. You're here, Frank. Never mind then." He said with an edge to his voice. He turned on his heel and started to walk away.
"Wait, Mikey," Gerard called out. Mikey turned around and pushed up his glasses. Mikey was taller than me, but everyone was taller than me so it wasn’t weird. He had badly straightened hair and was the skinniest motherfucker I had ever seen.
"Maybe Frank wants to play, too."
Mikey looked at me, his eyes cold and his jaw clenched. "Do you want to play the video game, Frank?"
I swallowed and looked at Gerard. He gave me an encouraging smile. He wanted me to play, but if I did Mikey would kill me. I shook my head no and looked at my shoes.
I heard Mikey mutter "Good" and shuffle away. Gerard opened the door and pounded down the steps, while I followed more slowly.
Gerard's room had one window and it was almost always covered, so it was dark. Artwork covered the walls and floor and it wasn’t hard to figure why he was getting an art scholarship. The bed was shoved into a corner and the sheets were Star Wars themed with coffee stains. Dirty clothes littered the floor. It felt more like home than my room ever had.
Gerard sat on the bed and cast me an annoyed look. "Why did you say you didn’t want to play? You could have bonded with Mikey, or at least stand up to him. You can't let people think you're weak, Frank."
I felt irritation run through my body. Gerard was usually only like this when he was drunk, and even then he was usually teasing. When he talked to me like I was stupid when he was sober, it made me feel stupid.
"Maybe I'm tired and just don’t want to play, Gerard." I sighed and sat on the floor. You could practically see the dirt in the carpet.
Gerard looked me over once, nodded, and asked if I wanted to help him start to box things up.
"No," I responded, but I stood up to help him anyway.
We dragged boxes into his room from upstairs. We stayed silent most of the time, only speaking to make random comments. We packed for about an hour before Gerard decided to watch a movie instead.
"What do you want to watch, Frankie?" he asked me, kneeling beside his movie stack.
"Night of the Living Dead," I replied, and jumped onto his bed. Gerard put the movie in and turned off the light. When he crawled up onto the bed and was settled next to me, I put my head on his shoulder. Gerard reached his hand around and rested his arm on my shoulder. Five minutes into the movie, I was fast asleep.
**************
When I woke up, the end credits were playing and I felt Gerard playing with my hair. I sighed softly and moved to cuddle closer with Gerard. I heard him laugh quietly and he pressed a soft kiss to the top of my head.
"Hey, Frankie," he whispered.
"Hi, Gerard," I moved away and smiled at him.
"I need to tell you something really important, Frank. But you have to promise not to freak out."
"I promise."
"Okay. Well, the other day, I got a call. It was from the college I'm going to. They said that the dorms are available to move into now. So, I decided to move into them in July rather than August."
I felt my heart jump into my throat. "Oh," I breathed out. "Oh. Well, I mean we still have the rest of June and some of July right? It'll be okay. It'll be okay." I kept repeating the same thing over and over in my head. It'll be okay. It'll be okay. I tried to fight back the tears that I knew were coming.
"I don’t want to leave you, Frankie, you know I don’t. And you'll be there soon enough on a music scholarship. And speaking of that… I think you need this more than I do."
I gave Gerard a curious look as he got up. My curiosity was too strong for me to think about Gerard leaving. I watched him as he walked to a corner of the room that we hadn’t cleaned. He grabbed something and put it behind his back so I couldn’t see. I sat up on the bed, eager to see what he had.
When Gerard came back to me, I stood up and climbed over his shoulder. He laughed and pushed me back down onto the bed.
"Close you eyes, Frank!" he commanded with a smile.
I closed my eyes and waited, bouncing. I felt him set something on the bed next to me and I reached my hand out to touch it.
"Okay… Open."
I opened my eyes and immediately looked to see what he had put down. I gasped when I saw Gerard's beautiful acoustic guitar sitting on the bed. Gerard had had it since he was twelve, but when he started to draw he abandoned music. He had let me play it a few times before because I had taken guitar lessons, but he never suggested that I keep it.
"Seriously, Gerard? You're giving me your guitar?" I couldn’t believe it.
"Yeah! I figured, you know, you can actually play it and since I cant, why should I have it?"
I didn’t reply, I just reached for it and grabbed its neck. I ran my hand along the smooth body of it. I put it in my lap and ran my fingers along the strings, plucking a few. The guitar was out of tune due to not being played in a long time.
Cradling the guitar in my arms, I tuned it and started to play. Playing the guitar felt like home to me. Nothing could ever cloud my mind; everything seemed amazingly clear. I didn’t think about anything except for the instrument in my hands and the music I was creating. School and bullies and parents, they didn’t exist anymore. The only thing that mattered was the guitar I was playing. I strummed the guitar and got lost in the soft music and the feel of the strings on my fingers.
When I stopped playing, I opened my eyes. I hadn’t even realized that I closed them. I blinked a few times, focusing in the now dark room. When I started playing, the sun was still filtering through the small window. I glanced next to me and saw a pair of hazel eyes peering at me through the dark.
"Have you been practicing?"
"No, not since the last time you let me play."
"Wow. You're really good, Frank. You're going to be famous one day, I know it."
I blushed and looked down to hide it, even though I knew he couldn’t see it in the dark. "I'm not that good, Gerard." I looked up and saw Gerard open his mouth as if he was going to say something. Before he could speak, the door at the top of the stairs opened and somebody walked down.
"Gerard, I'm home now. Oh, hi Frank!"
I mumbled a hello and listened to Gerard talk to his mom about how he already started to pack.
"Okay, Gerard. Well, me and Mikey are going out, we'll be back in about an hour. I won't come back down, but I put beer in your fridge, so don’t bother trying to sneak up and steal some of mine. Bye, Frank."
"Thanks, mom," Gerard said with a sheepish smile and a wave.
She just rolled her eyes and smiled, going back upstairs to the main house.
We were quiet until we heard a car start to drive away. As soon as we couldn’t see the headlights through the window, Gerard got up and walked to his mini fridge. He opened it and grabbed a beer.
"You want one, Frank?" he asked, but he was already closing the door, knowing I didn’t. I hadn't had one drink or smoke in my life and I intended on keeping it that way. I couldn’t afford to do that and keep my grades up.
As the night went on, Gerard got steadily drunk and I couldn’t help the longing I felt towards my best friend.
*************
By ten Gerard was drunk off his ass and I was surprised he hadn’t puked yet. We were playing Mario Kart because that was the only thing Gerard had in his room and he was too drunk to go upstairs. While we were playing on Rainbow Road, Gerard kept getting a really concentrated look on his face and then he would fly off the track and he'd laugh hysterically. I couldn’t help but crack a smile when he got excited over being in 12th place.
"Maybe you should go to bed now, Gerard." I said, turning of the TV.
Gerard groaned and complained, "Frank, you're such a killjoy."
"Well maybe that’s not such a bad thing." I pushed Gerard onto his back and pulled the covers up over him. I could see his eyes start to drop, showing how tired he really was.
"Goodnight, Gerard," I whispered and kissed the top of his disgustingly sweaty head.
He moved over on the bed and said, "Frankie, sleep next to me. You'll be cold."
I was going to protest that it was summer, I wouldn’t get cold on the floor, but I knew it would be useless. I sighed and climbed up onto the bed.
Gerard cuddled into my side and I felt his breath on my cheek.
"I'm gonna miss you a lot when I leave, Frankie." He whispered.
"Yeah, I'm going to miss you too."
I saw Gerard open his eyes and I felt my heart beat start to quicken.
"Frank… I think I'm gonna…"
I felt my breathe hitch in my throat as Gerard closed his eyes ad leaned towards me. I stayed still as Gerard hunched over me. I felt his breath ghost over my lips and my eyes fluttered shut. Gerard closed the gap between us and pressed his mouth to mine. It was awkward and not at all the way I imagined my first kiss. After Gerard moved away, I heard him breathing.
"I'm going to go to sleep now," he said softly.
"Me, too," I replied.
I listened to Gerard's breaths become more and more shallow and I knew he was asleep. I couldn’t stop thinking. When I finally stopped my thoughts, I was able to drift into an uneasy sleep. The last thing I though was how I forgot to call my parents and I was so screwed tomorrow.
~End Chapter 4~
"Hey, Gerard, I went to the store and got this new video game, do you want to play?" He walked into the hallway. "Oh. You're here, Frank. Never mind then." He said with an edge to his voice. He turned on his heel and started to walk away.
"Wait, Mikey," Gerard called out. Mikey turned around and pushed up his glasses. Mikey was taller than me, but everyone was taller than me so it wasn’t weird. He had badly straightened hair and was the skinniest motherfucker I had ever seen.
"Maybe Frank wants to play, too."
Mikey looked at me, his eyes cold and his jaw clenched. "Do you want to play the video game, Frank?"
I swallowed and looked at Gerard. He gave me an encouraging smile. He wanted me to play, but if I did Mikey would kill me. I shook my head no and looked at my shoes.
I heard Mikey mutter "Good" and shuffle away. Gerard opened the door and pounded down the steps, while I followed more slowly.
Gerard's room had one window and it was almost always covered, so it was dark. Artwork covered the walls and floor and it wasn’t hard to figure why he was getting an art scholarship. The bed was shoved into a corner and the sheets were Star Wars themed with coffee stains. Dirty clothes littered the floor. It felt more like home than my room ever had.
Gerard sat on the bed and cast me an annoyed look. "Why did you say you didn’t want to play? You could have bonded with Mikey, or at least stand up to him. You can't let people think you're weak, Frank."
I felt irritation run through my body. Gerard was usually only like this when he was drunk, and even then he was usually teasing. When he talked to me like I was stupid when he was sober, it made me feel stupid.
"Maybe I'm tired and just don’t want to play, Gerard." I sighed and sat on the floor. You could practically see the dirt in the carpet.
Gerard looked me over once, nodded, and asked if I wanted to help him start to box things up.
"No," I responded, but I stood up to help him anyway.
We dragged boxes into his room from upstairs. We stayed silent most of the time, only speaking to make random comments. We packed for about an hour before Gerard decided to watch a movie instead.
"What do you want to watch, Frankie?" he asked me, kneeling beside his movie stack.
"Night of the Living Dead," I replied, and jumped onto his bed. Gerard put the movie in and turned off the light. When he crawled up onto the bed and was settled next to me, I put my head on his shoulder. Gerard reached his hand around and rested his arm on my shoulder. Five minutes into the movie, I was fast asleep.
**************
When I woke up, the end credits were playing and I felt Gerard playing with my hair. I sighed softly and moved to cuddle closer with Gerard. I heard him laugh quietly and he pressed a soft kiss to the top of my head.
"Hey, Frankie," he whispered.
"Hi, Gerard," I moved away and smiled at him.
"I need to tell you something really important, Frank. But you have to promise not to freak out."
"I promise."
"Okay. Well, the other day, I got a call. It was from the college I'm going to. They said that the dorms are available to move into now. So, I decided to move into them in July rather than August."
I felt my heart jump into my throat. "Oh," I breathed out. "Oh. Well, I mean we still have the rest of June and some of July right? It'll be okay. It'll be okay." I kept repeating the same thing over and over in my head. It'll be okay. It'll be okay. I tried to fight back the tears that I knew were coming.
"I don’t want to leave you, Frankie, you know I don’t. And you'll be there soon enough on a music scholarship. And speaking of that… I think you need this more than I do."
I gave Gerard a curious look as he got up. My curiosity was too strong for me to think about Gerard leaving. I watched him as he walked to a corner of the room that we hadn’t cleaned. He grabbed something and put it behind his back so I couldn’t see. I sat up on the bed, eager to see what he had.
When Gerard came back to me, I stood up and climbed over his shoulder. He laughed and pushed me back down onto the bed.
"Close you eyes, Frank!" he commanded with a smile.
I closed my eyes and waited, bouncing. I felt him set something on the bed next to me and I reached my hand out to touch it.
"Okay… Open."
I opened my eyes and immediately looked to see what he had put down. I gasped when I saw Gerard's beautiful acoustic guitar sitting on the bed. Gerard had had it since he was twelve, but when he started to draw he abandoned music. He had let me play it a few times before because I had taken guitar lessons, but he never suggested that I keep it.
"Seriously, Gerard? You're giving me your guitar?" I couldn’t believe it.
"Yeah! I figured, you know, you can actually play it and since I cant, why should I have it?"
I didn’t reply, I just reached for it and grabbed its neck. I ran my hand along the smooth body of it. I put it in my lap and ran my fingers along the strings, plucking a few. The guitar was out of tune due to not being played in a long time.
Cradling the guitar in my arms, I tuned it and started to play. Playing the guitar felt like home to me. Nothing could ever cloud my mind; everything seemed amazingly clear. I didn’t think about anything except for the instrument in my hands and the music I was creating. School and bullies and parents, they didn’t exist anymore. The only thing that mattered was the guitar I was playing. I strummed the guitar and got lost in the soft music and the feel of the strings on my fingers.
When I stopped playing, I opened my eyes. I hadn’t even realized that I closed them. I blinked a few times, focusing in the now dark room. When I started playing, the sun was still filtering through the small window. I glanced next to me and saw a pair of hazel eyes peering at me through the dark.
"Have you been practicing?"
"No, not since the last time you let me play."
"Wow. You're really good, Frank. You're going to be famous one day, I know it."
I blushed and looked down to hide it, even though I knew he couldn’t see it in the dark. "I'm not that good, Gerard." I looked up and saw Gerard open his mouth as if he was going to say something. Before he could speak, the door at the top of the stairs opened and somebody walked down.
"Gerard, I'm home now. Oh, hi Frank!"
I mumbled a hello and listened to Gerard talk to his mom about how he already started to pack.
"Okay, Gerard. Well, me and Mikey are going out, we'll be back in about an hour. I won't come back down, but I put beer in your fridge, so don’t bother trying to sneak up and steal some of mine. Bye, Frank."
"Thanks, mom," Gerard said with a sheepish smile and a wave.
She just rolled her eyes and smiled, going back upstairs to the main house.
We were quiet until we heard a car start to drive away. As soon as we couldn’t see the headlights through the window, Gerard got up and walked to his mini fridge. He opened it and grabbed a beer.
"You want one, Frank?" he asked, but he was already closing the door, knowing I didn’t. I hadn't had one drink or smoke in my life and I intended on keeping it that way. I couldn’t afford to do that and keep my grades up.
As the night went on, Gerard got steadily drunk and I couldn’t help the longing I felt towards my best friend.
*************
By ten Gerard was drunk off his ass and I was surprised he hadn’t puked yet. We were playing Mario Kart because that was the only thing Gerard had in his room and he was too drunk to go upstairs. While we were playing on Rainbow Road, Gerard kept getting a really concentrated look on his face and then he would fly off the track and he'd laugh hysterically. I couldn’t help but crack a smile when he got excited over being in 12th place.
"Maybe you should go to bed now, Gerard." I said, turning of the TV.
Gerard groaned and complained, "Frank, you're such a killjoy."
"Well maybe that’s not such a bad thing." I pushed Gerard onto his back and pulled the covers up over him. I could see his eyes start to drop, showing how tired he really was.
"Goodnight, Gerard," I whispered and kissed the top of his disgustingly sweaty head.
He moved over on the bed and said, "Frankie, sleep next to me. You'll be cold."
I was going to protest that it was summer, I wouldn’t get cold on the floor, but I knew it would be useless. I sighed and climbed up onto the bed.
Gerard cuddled into my side and I felt his breath on my cheek.
"I'm gonna miss you a lot when I leave, Frankie." He whispered.
"Yeah, I'm going to miss you too."
I saw Gerard open his eyes and I felt my heart beat start to quicken.
"Frank… I think I'm gonna…"
I felt my breathe hitch in my throat as Gerard closed his eyes ad leaned towards me. I stayed still as Gerard hunched over me. I felt his breath ghost over my lips and my eyes fluttered shut. Gerard closed the gap between us and pressed his mouth to mine. It was awkward and not at all the way I imagined my first kiss. After Gerard moved away, I heard him breathing.
"I'm going to go to sleep now," he said softly.
"Me, too," I replied.
I listened to Gerard's breaths become more and more shallow and I knew he was asleep. I couldn’t stop thinking. When I finally stopped my thoughts, I was able to drift into an uneasy sleep. The last thing I though was how I forgot to call my parents and I was so screwed tomorrow.
~End Chapter 4~
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Sorry it took so long, guys. The next chapter will be up sooner, I promise.