If Jealousy Could Kill

Tomomi paced back and forth, wringing her hands together. It had been three hours since she and Haruna were brought to the hospital and out of those three hours, she had been out here pacing for an hour. She had already seen the doctors and gotten fixed, the cut Rina gave her wasn’t as bad as it had initially looked. Tomomi wouldn’t need stitches or anything, unlike Haruna who probably needed them. She would need to come back for checkups but right now, that and the bandages taped tightly to her face were the worst of it for Tomomi.

The doctors were quick to patch Tomomi up, only taking two hours after all the tests were finished. The doctors told her the worst part about her wound would be the permanent scar on her face, but it didn’t matter to Tomomi. All that mattered was knowing if Haruna would be okay. Tomomi had to fight the doctors to make them let her come down here for Haruna. She knew she needed rest but she couldn’t rest, she needed to know Haruna would be alive and well soon enough.

Tomomi didn’t know that though; no one knew that. The doctors hadn’t come out to speak with her, Mami and Miyuki had left some minutes ago to go check on Rina after getting a call from the brunette’s own doctors. Tomomi didn’t know which hospital they had taken Rina to; she only knew which type of hospital it was. She was doing her best not to think about Rina, she didn’t want to let her mind wander to any of that. She simply wanted to focus on Haruna right now.

“Miss Ogawa?”

Tomomi’s pacing came to a stop, her body whirling around to face the doctor who was now standing behind her. The injured brunette rushed over to the doctor, eager to hear whatever news he had to offer on Haruna.

“You shouldn’t be walking this much. Even if you cut was not life threatening, it’s still taken a lot out of you. You lost quite a lot of blood, you know. It’s best you sit down and get some rest,” the doctor scolded her. Tomomi whimpered softly, taking a step back from the doctor. When they had agreed to let her go wait for Haruna, one of the conditions was that she couldn’t stand too much. She knew her body needed its rest but she couldn’t very well just sit down while Haruna might possibly be dying in there.

“I’m sorry, sensei, but please… Tell me about Haruna. Is she okay?” Tomomi didn’t care about herself. Anything could happen to her; she just wanted Haruna to be okay. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself if something had happened to Haruna because of her.

The doctor sighed, running a hand through his hair. This was typical of couples. When both of them were in an accident, the first one treated would always care more about their partner than they did themselves. It could create trouble quite often. He could only be thankful that Tomomi was being relatively calm and not creating a scene, he still wished she’d allow herself a moment to rest though.

“Please come with me,” the doctor told her. Tomomi nodded before following the doctor down the hallway. They came to a stop outside of a room and Tomomi could only guess that it was the room Haruna was in.

“Is everything okay with her?” Tomomi feared the worst. What if Rina had done some serious damage to Haruna? She couldn’t handle that. She couldn’t even stomach the thought. She couldn’t imagine going back to living life without having Haruna by her side.
“I’m afraid that she went into circulatory shock soon after we attempted the transfer to the hospital.” Tomomi’s breathing stalled in her throat; she had no idea what that meant but from the look on the doctor’s face, she assumed it wasn’t a good thing.

“S-shock?” Tomomi squeaked out. The doctor sighed softly, clutching the clipboard tightly against his chest. This was his least favorite part of his job; he always hated having to deliver bad news to any family or friends of the patient in question. It didn’t help when the loved one’s in question didn’t understand his medical talk.

“Your friend did a very good job of keeping Haruna calm and treating her wound, she was able to help Haruna forget about what had happened. When the ambulance transferred her and refused to let your friend come along, I’m afraid that calmness didn’t stay with her either. Her body went into shock and began to shut down.”

“Is she…?” Tomomi couldn’t finish; she didn’t want to finish. Haruna couldn’t be… The word didn’t even want to come into Tomomi’s mind. She couldn’t handle it; she couldn’t handle this. Just when she was sure that she had found her true love…

“Do not misunderstand, Miss Ogawa. Haruna is still alive, but she is barely alive. We believe we’ve gotten her stabilized and brought her out of shock but it is too early to tell if she will survive. We will do everything we can to keep Haruna alive and return her previous condition of life to her. You must understand that Haruna’s biggest worry is not the knife wound or the shock any longer, it’s the infections now.”

“Infections?”

“Knives can carry a lot of bacteria that can easy cause infections once entered into the human body. The person who attacked Haruna did nearly hit an artery which makes this all the more critical. She’s lost quite a lot of blood and her wound was exposed for a long time, she is in danger no doubt. We cannot see an infection in her yet but there is still time for one to develop, we’ll keep a close eye on her condition throughout the night and next few days. If worse comes to worse, we may need to put her in a medically induced coma to save her.”

Tomomi wanted to break down and cry. Her legs shook beneath her and her hand had flown up to cover her mouth. The tears pooled in her eyes, a few small sniffles coming from her. Haruna could really die from this; it was a true and real possibility. Tomomi didn’t know what to do. Her girlfriend was in severe danger and she was absolutely useless to do anything about it.

“Haruna is asleep now but if you want, I can let you in to see her. Please do your best not to wake her up, though I don’t think you could. She’s heavily sedated so she most likely will not be up any time soon.”

“I-I’d like to see her,” Tomomi managed to choke out. The doctor nodded, stepping forward and slowly opening the door. He stepped aside, motioning for Tomomi to go in. The shaking brunette took slow and careful steps into the room and the doctor closed the door behind her.

Tomomi’s feet stopped as soon as she got into the room. Her tears only got worse as her eyes laid on the motionless girl in the bed. From this distance, she could see the countless wires hooked up to Haruna’s body, the only things sustaining her girlfriend’s life. As Tomomi took a few careful steps forward, she could also see an oxygen tube hooked up to Haruna.

How was it possible? It was one stab wound; how did it cause all of this for her? How had it done so much damage to the usually strong girl? This was nothing like the movies and Tomomi was torn between being sad and grateful it wasn’t. Tomomi was happy that Haruna didn’t die quickly like she had seen happen in so many movies but she was sad to see her girlfriend having to suffer so much. She couldn’t even imagine the pain Haruna must be feeling.

Tomomi pulled a chair over to Haruna’s bedside, practically collapsing into the plastic material. She wiped some tears away from her face before reaching out and grabbing onto one of Haruna’s hands. The younger brunette tensed from how chilly Haruna’s hands felt. It was like there wasn’t even any life within Haruna from how cold she was.

The brunette reached out her free hand, brushing the bangs out of Haruna’s face. She gave a small smile at how peaceful Haruna’s face looked; perhaps she was getting peace in being this sedated. Tomomi could only pray that was the case, she certainly didn’t want Haruna suffering.

She began rubbing small circles over the top of Haruna’s skin with her thumb. The tears fell down Tomomi’s cheeks before splashing down onto Haruna’s cold hand. No matter what, Haruna wouldn’t move or open her eyes. It was like the older girl was practically suspended in time. Physically, she was right here with Tomomi but mentally, she wasn’t anywhere to be found.

She was gone.

And Tomomi hated that. She didn’t want Haruna to disappear on her but that’s what it felt like was happening here. She was helpless to do anything but watch as Haruna slowly faded away.

Tomomi shook her head, her eyes looking up at the machinery Haruna’s sleeping form was hooked up to. The only piece she noticed was the heart monitor but she didn’t know much of what it meant. She knew the beeping line meant that Haruna’s heart was beating but that’s all she knew. The numbers and symbols on all of the equipment were a foreign language to Tomomi.

The brunette’s eyes fell on the oxygen tank nestled hidden away beside Haruna’s bedside. Her eyes trailed back up to where the clear tube was hooked up through the sleeping girl’s nose. She couldn’t believe it; her independent girlfriend even needed help breathing because of what should have been a simple wound. She’d only been stabbed once, what would have happened if Rina had stabbed her multiple times?

The thought made Tomomi shudder. She wouldn’t think about that. She shook her head to clear the thoughts from her mind. Still holding Haruna’s hand, she decided to use her other one to fish out her phone from her pocket. One quick call to Mami; that was all she needed. It would help calm her down.

“Hello?” Tomomi could hear the worn out way Mami had answered the phone, she sounded so absolutely exhausted.

"Hey, Mami..."

"What's up? How is Haruna? Is she okay?" Tomomi could feel a new set of tears pool in her eyes. It wasn't Mami's fault; she didn't know how bad things really were. She still wished Mami hadn’t asked. She didn’t want to reiterate the words the doctor had told her; she couldn’t handle saying them aloud or even hearing them again.

"She... She's asleep..."

"Will she be okay?" Mami sounded hesitant to ask her questions, she had probably picked up on Tomomi's mood from the way the brunette was speaking.

"I-I don't know..."

"Oh, Timo. I'm so sorry. You don't have to tell me. Do you want one of us to come back to be with you?"

"No. I-I'll be fine. I just.... I'm worried. What if Haruna doesn't pull through?"

"She will. God knows that woman is a fighter; she isn't going to just let anything kill her... Not after she's met you."

"What do you mean?" Tomomi's tears had stopped and her hand was gripping Haruna's harder now. She desperately wanted the older girl to give her a squeeze, to show her some sign of life and consciousness.

"I can see it in how she looks at you and how she acts, she loves you. I’ve never seen her look at someone like she looks at you. You've changed her world and I know Haruna wouldn't want that to end. You've got to stay positive and hope for the best. She'll survive this; Haruna is capable of surviving anything.”

"I hope you're right...."

"I am right. After all, when have I ever been wrong?" Mami asked.

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

"That was a rhetorical question, smartass." Tomomi couldn't help it; Mami's words had made her giggle. Mami always did know just what to say to make Tomomi laugh. The blonde chuckled from her end of the phone when she heard the familiar giggling. "I'm glad I could make you laugh."

"Thank you, Mami."

"Try to be happier. Haru wouldn't want you crying over her. She'll get better, I know she will. You just have to stay positive. Are you sure that you don't want Miyuki or I coming back to be with you?"

"I'll be fine. You two need to check on Rina... How is she? Have you seen her?"

"Not yet. They haven't been able to calm her down yet, they say she keeps screaming and crying. We might not get to see her after all if she doesn't calm herself."

"I see." Tomomi had nothing else to say. She didn't want to hate Rina but it was Rina's fault that Haruna was teetering on the edge of life and death. For that, Tomomi had developed some hatred for the seemingly sweet brunette. At this point, there was a part of Tomomi that never wanted to see Rina again.

"Please don't be mad at Rina; she's ill. This place will help her and we... We can go back to normal." Tomomi felt bad for Mami; even she knew how the blonde was blaming herself for this. But normal? She didn't understand how any of this could seem normal again. She would never be able to look at Rina the same way again.

"I guess... I should let you go," Tomomi said softly.

"Yeah. Call me when you leave the hospital, okay?"

"I'll make sure to." The two girls said their final goodbyes before hanging up the phone. Tomomi sighed softly, pushing her phone into her pocket again.

When she was done, she could hear the door open. Her head snapped over to see the Doctor from before step in.

"Miss Ogawa, your doctor would like to see you about your medication," he said. Tomomi nodded, setting Haruna's hand back down and pushing herself out of the chair. She leaned down, giving the sleeping girl a kiss.

"Please open your eyes soon."