If Jealousy Could Kill

“Do you think she’s awake?” Mami asked the eager brunette softly. Tomomi glanced back at Mami before nodding her head with clear enthusiasm. The nurses had said that Haruna was awake again and Tomomi believed them. She just didn’t know if Haruna was actually going to stay awake today or if she was going to fall asleep on Tomomi again like she did yesterday.

Tomomi led the two of them over to the room she had become so familiar with. She grabbed onto the doorknob made cold by the frigid temperature of the hospital. The brunette was slow to push the door open, opening it only a crack so she could peek into the room.

Her eyes were quick to find the injured brunette. Her body was slightly propped up on the bed, more so than yesterday at least. She wasn’t fully laying today. Seeing this made Tomomi a bit happier. If Haruna was able to sit up a bit, no matter how small it might be, then it meant she was getting better… Right?

“Haruna…” Tomomi said softly as she pushed the door open fully now. She could see Haruna glance over at them as much as she could, a small smile coming onto the brunette’s face when she saw her two friends come in. Mami shut the door lightly before they walked over to her side.

When she got to Haruna’s side, Tomomi grabbed onto her limp hand, lacing her fingers together with Haruna’s. She lifted Haruna’s hand, lightly kissing the back of it before lowering it a bit, holding it at a decent distance now. She rubbed her thumbs in small circles on the top of Haruna’s hand. Mami stood on the other side of the bed, her hands stuffed into her jean pockets while she leaned back on her heels.

“How are you feeling today?” Tomomi asked the injured girl. Haruna’s eyes glanced up at her and she could see the tiredness shining in them still, but she could also see that Haruna was more awake today than she had been yesterday. At least this meant that maybe Haruna wouldn’t be so quick to fall asleep on her.

“I’m bored,” Haruna answered. Her voice was still as frail as it was the previous day, it didn’t sound like it had gotten any better. Tomomi was determined to stay positive though. Haruna was awake for the second day in a row and today, she was sitting up more than she had been yesterday. Those were both improvements.

“I feel like being bored should be the least of your worries at the moment,” Mami told her. Haruna turned her head to look at her, her eyes gazing at Mami emptily.

“But I am bored,” Haruna stated. Mami laughed softly and shook her head. Even when lying in a hospital bed, Haruna never changed. The attitude was a constant thing with her; it was something Mami always did appreciate with Haruna… When the attitude wasn’t directed at her negatively of course.

“Do you hurt today?” Tomomi asked, intercepting the growing questioning between Mami and Haruna. Haruna turned her attention back to Tomomi and shook her head.

“I’m fine,” Haruna answered. It wasn’t the total truth but at the same time, it wasn’t a total lie. Haruna did hurt some, her stomach burned in agony if she moved too much. She could still clearly remember the burning pain that shot through her when the nurses attempted to move her even just this much. But, at the same time, the pain had faded a lot and Haruna was now in less pain that she had been yesterday.

“If you need anything, you know you can just ask,” Tomomi attempted to reassure her girlfriend. She knew Haruna never did like asking for help if she could avoid it but now was not a time for Haruna to be acting stubborn. Somehow, though, Tomomi didn’t think that would matter to the stubborn brunette.

“I really am fine, Tomomi,” Haruna attempted again. She cleared her throat, coughing lightly. She hated the way her voice sounded; she never did like it when her voice sounded so frail like this. It made her feel weak. It reminded her of just how weak her body was right now and it reminded her of the very real possibility of something still going wrong.

The three women continued to talk, although it was Mami and Tomomi doing most of the speaking. They both knew Haruna’s vocal cords were affected by the condition of the rest of her body and they knew she still needed rest, so they covered for the moments when Haruna found herself unable to speak. Tomomi in particular didn’t want Haruna pushing herself too hard; she didn’t want her girlfriend breaking down into another coughing fit like yesterday. Yesterday’s was already terrifying enough for her.

They didn’t know how much time had passed before they heard a light knock at the door. Mami and Tomomi turned in the direction of the noise in time to see the nurse gently push the door open. Behind her stood a familiar couple, one that made a smile come to Mami’s face. So they had come after all.

“Good evening, Haruna,” the nurse said as she stepped forward. “I’ve come to help you with your medication, and I’ve brought some new visitors for you.”

The couple who had accompanied the nurse stepped into the room, the male shutting the door behind them. The woman rushed over to the bedside, instantly capturing Haruna in a hug. Haruna’s body froze, the undeniable pain shooting through her body.

“Oh, Haruna! I’m so glad you’re okay!” the woman said as she hugged Haruna.

“T-thank you, mama,” Haruna choked out, still bound by the woman. She was surprised; her parents lived so far away in Osaka. They both had jobs that kept them busy. Them coming to see her was about the last thing Haruna expected.

“Darling, if you don’t let Haruna go then I think you might kill her,” Haruna’s father scolded his wife lightly. The woman giggled softly and released Haruna, her breathing slightly hard. Her mother always was an overreacting and over excitable person. Haruna got most of her personality from her father, although everyone always did say how much Haruna and her mother resembled each other.

“I’m sorry, dear. I’m just so happy to see you!” Her mother said happily to Haruna. The brunette coughed lightly before nodding her head.

“I’m happy to see you too, mama.”

“It’s been so long. You never come visit us anymore!” Her mother protested. Haruna laughed softly, her eyes trailing away from her mother and to watch the nurse who stood a few feet away from the bed, messing with pill bottles.

“Haruna,” the nurse spoke almost as if she had felt Haruna looking at her. “If there are too many people here, I can make a few of them leave. We want you to be the most comfortable you can be so you can reach a full recovery.”

“It’s fine, I don’t mind them all being here,” Haruna said. If she was being fully honest, she liked that all four of them were here for her. It reminded her that there were people do did honestly care about her.

“Just speak up if you feel crowded,” the nurse said and nodded her head. She gained back her silence, going back to focusing on pulling out the appropriate medication for Haruna.

“How did you two know I was here?” Haruna asked in a barely audible tone.

“Mami gave us a call,” her father responded. Haruna looked over at the smiling blonde quickly before turning her attention back to her father. “How did this happen anyway? Who did this to you?”

“Mami…didn’t tell you?” Haruna glanced over at her to see Mami shaking her head. Mami had considered telling Haruna’s parents that it was Rina who had injured their daughter but when she went to do it, she knew it was wrong to say such a thing. That wasn’t her place. All her parents needed to know was that Haruna was hurt and needed them; Haruna could tell them personally if she wanted them to know who the culprit was.

"She told us you would tell us if you were ready to," her father responded.

"You don't have to though, Haru. Take your time, we'll understand if you don't," her mother chimed in. Haruna nodded her head slowly in response.

"Thank you, but I'd rather not say right now," Haruna told them. Both of her parents nodded in understanding and Haruna was happy for it. She'd rather not think of her right now. It would come in time but now wasn't the right time.

"All right, Haruna, it's time for your medicine," the nurse spoke up afterwards. Haruna looked over at the nurse and Tomomi could see the small amount of fear there; she really was scared of the doctors putting her back to sleep.

Tomomi stepped away from Haruna's bedside to give the nurse more room. The nurse sat the small plate looking object down into a small table near Haruna's bedside.

"Open your hand, dear," the nurse instructed.

"Do I have to take them now?" Haruna asked with a small cough. Everyone in the room saw how the nurse looked disapprovingly at Haruna, clearly not having enjoyed her dissent.

"Only if you want to get better, of course," the nurse told her. Her disapproving look with quickly replaced by her trademark smile, whether fake or real this time. "This medicine won't put you to sleep; we'll give that to you near the end of visiting hours, okay?"

"Okay..." Haruna said hesitantly but lifted her hand the best she could. The nurse nodded, transferring the medication from her to Haruna. She grabbed a small paper glass, handing it over to Haruna as well.

The brunette reluctantly tossed the pills down, drinking the water before giving it back to the nurse. She always hated having to take medicine and now was no different, even if she needed it to save her life. It didn't mean that she had to enjoy taking the pills.

"Could everyone stop staring at me?” Haruna mumbled as she relaxed her body again. Tomomi giggled softly and hopped back over to Haruna's bedside. She grabbed onto Haruna's hand again, leaning down and giving her a kiss.

"Oh my," the two girls could hear Haruna's mother say. "So this is the girlfriend I've heard so much about!"

"What are you talking about?" Haruna asked. When she saw the smile on Mami's face, she instantly knew the loud mouth blonde was the culprit. Now she was wondering just how much Mami had let spill to her parents.

"We were told many things, especially how your new girlfriend was teaching you some manners," her mother said with a laugh. Haruna huffed softly, sinking down in the bed which only made Tomomi laugh softly. "We both just always thought it would Rina who you ended up with."

"Mrs. Ono," Mami hissed out lightly in surprise. Tomomi looked down frantically at Haruna to see her expression had darkened a bit. Her eyes were now diverted, staring at the floor. Tomomi couldn't read the emotion on Haruna's face but she knew it wasn't good.

"Oh.... Oh my. I'm sorry, dear," Haruna's mother said, picking up on the fact there was something going on between Rina and Haruna from how her daughter had responded. "Did anything happen between you two?"

"This isn't appropriate for right now," Mami responded roughly. Haruna's parents glanced at Mami in confusion. They had both picked up that something was wrong but they weren't picking up on what exactly was wrong.

Her mother glanced back at her daughter, her look softening even more when she saw the pain on Haruna's face. She always knew how to tell when Haruna was upset; she was her little girl after all. She knew Haruna better than almost anyone else knew the brunette.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories. You can tell us when you're ready," her mother said. She turned her attention to Tomomi, giving her a bright smile. "You best take care of our little girl."

"O-of course, Mrs. Ono!" Tomomi responded instantly. Haruna chuckled lightly at the nervous way Tomomi had responded to her parents. She had always wondered if she and Tomomi would ever get serious enough to warrant a parent meeting, she just never thought that first meeting would be under conditions like these.

"She's quite the handful, you know. Could be difficult to handle in the long run.

"Mama!" Haruna attempted to protest, but her voice came out cracked. She coughed again, Tomomi giving her a concerned stare. She still didn't like how often Haruna was coughing, it was always unsettling to her. She knew she was over-worrying but she just wanted Haruna to be fine.

"Oh hush, Haruna. You are a handful; heaven knows she's got quite the mouth on her these days.”

"That's for sure," Tomomi agreed. She giggled when Haruna tried to glare at her.

"She used to be so shy though, you know," her mother began. Haruna groaned, knowing full well what was about to come. "I remember the first time I took her to school, she hid behind my leg she was so shy. She's come out of her shell so much as an adult… Perhaps a bit too much at times.”

"Would you happen to have any baby pictures of Haruna?" Tomomi asked with a sparkle in her eyes. She knew if Haruna was in better shape, the brunette probably would have smacked her by now for this. Might as well take advantage of the opportunity to ask for baby pictures of Haruna.

"Don't you dare," Haruna muttered lowly, only receiving a laugh from her mother and girlfriend. “You know, it’s not nice to mock someone who’s in the hospital.”

“Oh, don’t get upset, Haru,” Tomomi told her and gave her a light kiss on the forehead. Haruna let her head fall to the side, a small, content smile coming to play on her face. There was a silence that came to the room before Mami shuffled her feet, gaining everyone’s attention.

“I have to go. I need to visit Rina today,” Mami said. It was only after she had said those words did she realize what she had just said. She had been so focused on giving Rina a visit today since she was unable to do so yesterday that she hadn’t thought about it.

Haruna’s parents still didn’t know it was Rina who did this and from the looks of it, it would take Haruna a while to let them know of it, if she ever did tell them. Haruna, on the other hand, still didn’t know where Rina was, or as far as Mami knew. She hadn’t heard Haruna ask anything about Rina since regaining consciousness and Tomomi hadn’t mentioned Haruna saying anything either.

“Where are you visiting Rina at?” Haruna’s father asked. Mami’s body froze and she exchanged a glance with Tomomi who made it clear with her own worry that she saw Mami’s mistake as well.

“She’s at work. It’s her first time watching the shop by herself and she wanted someone to check up on her, just to help her feel better,” Mami lied with ease.

“That sounds just like her, she always was a very soft person,” Haruna’s mother said. Mami nodded her head, thankful that her lie went over well. She stole a look at Haruna and saw the injured girl looking at her. She knew Haruna didn’t believe that lie, but she hadn’t expected Haruna to buy it. At some point, they’d have to explain where Rina was and Mami may have just pushed that encounter ahead of schedule.

“I’m sure we’ll see you again before we head back to Osaka, Mami. We’ll be here for a few days,” Haruna’s father said.

“Of course. I’ll see you later.”

***

Tomomi pushed herself off the edge of the bed she had been sitting on, turning on her heels so she was facing Haruna again. The brunette was back to laying, the nurses having forced her to do so in order to not hurt her wound. Haruna objected to it, of course, but she didn’t have much leverage to deny the nurses their orders they had for her.

“It’s time for me to go,” Tomomi told her lightly. She didn’t want to leave but visiting hours were over. She had managed to convince the nurses to let her stay an additional five minutes but she knew from the tone they had answered her with that she would not be getting another five minutes after that.

“Before you go, can I ask you something?” Haruna asked her. Haruna’s tone had gotten softer and Tomomi could tell the pain medication the nurses had given her only minutes ago was finally beginning to kick in.

“What is it, sweetie?”

“Rina… Where is she? I know Mami lied to my parents, so tell me the truth.” Tomomi’s body froze, her hands clenching themselves at the question. She had feared that Haruna would ask that because of Mami’s slip up, but she was hoping the long talks she and Haruna had had after Mami and Haruna’s parents had left would help her forget Mami’s words.

“We could talk about that another day, you know,” Tomomi tried. Haruna only shook her head weakly though, not wanting to take ‘no’ for an answer.

“I want to know where she is.” Tomomi took a deep breath once she heard her girlfriend’s words; there would be no getting around this. Even half-asleep, Haruna had somehow managed to corner her.

“Rina is in the hospital,” Tomomi responded softly.

“Is she okay?”

“I-I guess so…” Tomomi knew that the answer to that would depend on how Haruna defined the word “okay”. Physically, Rina was the picture of health. There wasn’t a thing wrong with her. But mentally… She was falling apart piece by piece; even the brunette who hadn’t seen her yet and still refused to see her knew Rina was falling apart.

“Then why is she in the hospital? Did she get hurt?”

“Haruna….. Rina isn’t in a hospital like this one. She’s in a different type,” Tomomi attempted. She really wanted Haruna to pick up on the hints so she didn’t have to say it out loud. She’d rather not say it out loud if she could at all avoid it.

“Oh… I see…” Tomomi almost wanted to sigh in relief that Haruna had caught her hints but she knew she couldn’t from the sad way Haruna had said her words. “I guess you should go now, huh?”

“I have to… But I’ll be back tomorrow!” Tomomi said in an attempted happy tone. Haruna laughed softly and nodded her head, smiling at Tomomi. The younger girl leaned down and gave her a long kiss before pulling away. She brushed her hands through Haruna’s hair before finally leaving the injured girl.

Haruna watched her girlfriend leave, a small sigh passing her lips once she was alone again. Her body situated itself under the thin blankets that covered her, her eyes falling shut. So Rina was in one of those places… Was that her fault too? Everyone kept telling her she wasn’t at fault for any of this but she was. She had led Rina on; she had done so much damage to an innocent person because she had been so blind. Everyone else seemed to notice Rina’s feelings beside Haruna. Mami and her parents… They all noticed it probably years ago but Haruna had stayed so oblivious to it.

How could this not be her fault?

***

“Are you mad at me, Rina?” Mami didn’t know if she should be asking that question or not but she felt a need to. In the almost entire hour and a half she’d been here with Rina, the brunette had barely moved an inch or spoken a word. Mami was doing most of the talking in an attempt to get her to speak but now visiting hours were almost over and Mami would have to leave soon.

Rina looked up at the blonde and she could see the worry in Mami’s eyes. Rina didn’t really know why she wasn’t talking to Mami much today, she simply wasn’t in the mood to speak with anyone, and that included Mami. She didn’t have an answer to anything about how she was acting.

“I’m not mad,” Rina responded in the quiet tone she had been using since Mami arrived. The blonde sighed softly, hanging her head. She had avoided telling Rina about Haruna but now maybe it was time. Rina did seem like she needed some cheering up and maybe hearing this could be what she needed.

“Rina, can I tell you something?” Rina cocked her head to the side in wonder when Mami asked her question, it sounded like it would be completely unrelated to her asking if Rina was mad.

“I don’t see why not.” Mami drew in a sharp breath before she decided it was finally time to tell Rina. The brunette would find out eventually.

"Haruna is awake."

Mami had expected a response from Rina - any kind of response - but she was met with nothing more than silence. She gazed nervously at Rina, wondering what could be going through the unstable girl's mind at the moment. Rina simply stated down at the table, her eyes wide. At this point, Mami didn't know whether to be thankful or scared that the guard was outside of the room during this visit. She didn't know what Rina was capable of and she hated that she thought like that.

"She's....alive?" Rina finally asked softly. She still didn't look up at Mami, still looking like she was nearly in a trance as she gazed down at the table.

"Yes. That's why I couldn't come see you yesterday; we were with her at the hospital all day and today..."

"We...? You mean Tomomi?" Rina asked darkly. Mami shivered from the tone she had used; she had made it evident how she still felt for Tomomi.

"Yes, Rina. Tomomi is Haruna's girlfriend; she's going to be there to care for Haruna." Mami wanted Rina to see this and accept this. She had to find a way to make the brunette somehow let go of Haruna so she could get better.

"What were you saying about today?" Rina asked.

"Haruna's parents came to see her today; I had to leave pretty early though to come see you."

"Do they know...?"

"No, I didn't tell them. They know why Haruna is in the hospital but they don't know who did it," Mami reassured her. "It's not my place to tell them that, I know Haruna will tell them when she sees it fit to say something to them about it."

"Is Haruna....? Is Haruna mad at me? I wouldn't blame her if she hated me now." Rina's voice began to crack and break with the sorrow as she spoke. The idea of Haruna ever hating her tore her heart apart. She couldn't even handle the simple thought of it.

Mami gulped at the question. In truth, Haruna hadn't asked about Rina at all so far. She had been more concerned on patching things up with Tomomi and the injured brunette hadn't considered the person who had put her in such a bad spot. Mami couldn't very well tell Rina that though, it would definitely cause problems again.

"Haruna doesn't hate you, she could never hate you. She cares about you, you know," Mami said. Mami thought that this in particular was fairly easy; of course Haruna could never hate Rina. But if Rina started asking more specific questions then Mami knew she might be encountering a fairly big problem.

"Do you think Haruna will come see me in here?" Rina had begun twistin her hands around each other, a soft sniffle leaving her when she thought about what she had done to Tomomi.

"Rina, she's still in the hospital and might be for a while longer," Mami began gently. "But when she gets out and if you're still here, I'm positive Haruna would come to see you."

"I hope so; I want to see her again." Mami could feel Rina's pain resonating from her tone but at the same time, she could see it in Rina's depressed eye that there was a bit if hope and thankfulness. It had made Rina even the slightest bit happy to know she hadn't killed Haruna as she may have feared.

"You will see her again. You're both going to get better and be released. Our lives can go back to normal once you do, I believe in that."