If Jealousy Could Kill

“Are you sure about this, Haruna?”

The brunette in question nodded her head from where she sat on the bench just outside of the hospital keeping Rina. Tomomi sighed softly, mentally biting her tongue. She wanted so desperately to beg Haruna not to go and just forget Rina but she knew doing that would only hurt Haruna even more than she already was. She couldn’t stop her worrying though. Rina had tried to kill Haruna and they said Rina was still ill. What if Rina tried to hurt Haruna again? Tomomi couldn’t bear the thought of it.

“I’m positive,” Haruna told her. “Are you sure that you don’t want to come with?” Tomomi could see the emotion pass through her eyes, silently asking Tomomi to come see Rina with them but the brunette shook her head. She wasn’t ready to see Rina. Even with Haruna well, she couldn’t forgive Rina. Not yet.

“I think it would be best if I keep my distance from Rina still…” Tomomi admitted. Haruna nodded, her eyes glancing over at Mami who stood awkwardly behind the couple, doing her best to pretend like she wasn’t listening. The awkward acting of Mami made Haruna smile; she never was good at concealing when she was listening to something going on right in front of her.

“What are you going to do in the meantime?” Haruna asked.

“I’ll wait out here for you two. Don’t worry about me, Haru. I think you should worry more about what’s going to happen with you and Rina; I’m guessing it’ll be a pretty heavy meeting.”

“Yeah…” Tomomi gave a weak smile and knelt down in front of Haruna. She placed a hand under Haruna’s chin, forcing her head up so the two girls were looking each other in the eyes. She leaned forward, giving Haruna a soft kiss.

“Don’t worry, darling. Everything is going to go fine,” Tomomi encouraged her. She wished she could believe her own words even though she didn’t. She didn’t believe everything was going to go fine if Rina was still emotionally unstable. Tomomi kept replaying the worst case scenarios in her head.

“Haruna, we should go in now. Visiting hours are starting and if you want the full time to speak with Rina…” Mami purposefully let her sentence trail off and Haruna nodded her head in understanding.

Tomomi pushed herself up, extending a hand out to Haruna. The injured girl grabbed it, allowing Tomomi to pull her up. She winced from the pain, although she did have to admit it was a bit less than yesterday. Mami was quick to come to Haruna’s side, allowing Tomomi to pass the injured girl into her grasp. She held onto Haruna’s arm, making sure the older girl was steadied.

“We could come back another day if you’re in pain…” Tomomi tired again weakly. Haruna shook her head, her breathing slightly labored from not just the pain but the worry she felt as well. Haruna could admit she was worried. Did Rina hate her? She didn’t want Rina to hate her; she didn’t want their long friendship to end over a girl. She had to see and speak to Rina; she had to repair this and fix it.

“No… I have to do this, Tomomi,” Haruna rejected her idea. Tomomi nodded her head, clenching her hands into fists as she forced out a smile. Why did Haruna have to be so stubborn? Why couldn’t she see that she didn’t need to be around Rina? Tomomi wasn’t trying to be revengeful against Rina; she simply wanted to protect her girlfriend.

“I’ll keep everything under control, Timo,” Mami attempted to reassure the brunette. It hurt Mami to hear Tomomi speaking so frightfully about Rina but she couldn’t say that she blamed Tomomi. It had been over two weeks since Tomomi had last seen Rina and the last memories she had of her were far from pleasant. She knew Tomomi didn’t want to see Rina and Rina didn’t want to see Tomomi.

Still, she wished there was some way to bring the two of them together…

“I’ll see you soon,” Tomomi said. She did her best to give them a smile despite how her heart broke on the inside. Mami tightened her grip on Haruna’s arm, pulling her into the hospital. Left alone outside, Tomomi sighed softly and collapsed onto the bench. She could only hope everything was going to go well.

Inside of the hospital now, the duo only had to wait at the reception desk for a few minutes before they were being led down the hallway Mami had grown so familiar with. She continued to hang onto Haruna despite the older girl grumbling about how she could walk on her own if people would give her a chance.

The two girls were led to a room Mami was familiar with. The nurse unlocked the door, pushing it open and stepping aside so the two visitors could enter the room. With caution, they both stepped inside, hearing the door close behind them. Mami could feel Haruna huddle a bit closer to her now, any tough girl attitude in her vanishing in a second. Mami took a deep breath before speaking.

“Rina…” The brunette in question slowly raised her head, her eyes connecting with Mami’s before sliding over to Haruna. Her eyes widened and her body stiffened at the sight of the brunette standing there. Was it really her…? But how? Last Rina heard, Haruna had still been in the hospital.

Mami glanced down at Haruna to see the brunette staring at Rina; she knew she could see a hint of fear in Haruna's eyes. Everything was coming back to her when she saw Rina and very little of it was giving Haruna a pleasant feeling.

Mami tugged on Haruna lightly and the distracted brunette looked up at her. She understood the unspoken question and nodded her head. With the agreement in hand, Mami slowly led Haruna over to the table where Rina sat on the other side. The blonde helped her friend sit down and Haruna coughed gently as she did, although Mami was nearly positive that cough was from the tension and awkwardness in the room rather than pain.

She took her own seat, biting down on her bottom lip before looking at Rina. She could see the pain in Rina's eyes and she knew the younger girl could tell how injured Haruna still was even after all this time. Mami knew this could hurt Rina but she also knew this might be something Rina needed to convince herself to try and recover.

"How have you been?" Mami began. She started their visits off the same way. Truthfully, Mami didn't know much of another way to start these things off.

"I've been fine," Rina responded absentmindedly. She slowly turned her head to look at Mami, an empty look now held in her eyes. Mami gave her a light smile.

"Have you been feeling better? I hope this has been helping you." Rina nodded her head and gave Mami what looked to the blonde to be a fake smile.

"Ne... Rina..." Both Mami and Rina turned to look at the brunette who had spoken in a low tone that was uncommon of her. Mami was even more surprised when she saw the confident and outgoing brunette's hands gripping tightly onto the end of her shirt, bunching it up and her eyes staring down at the table.

Mami glanced in between the two friends and she could see similar, solemn looks on their faces. She could hear Haruna shift in the chair next to her before speaking up.

"Do you hate me?" Haruna asked softy. She gripped onto her shirt harder, wanting to look up at Rina but feeling too scared to do so. She was scared of what sort of possible emotions Rina could be showing.

"No." The simple answer from Rina managed to get Haruna's attention. The brunette raised her head finally, her watery eyes staring into the blank ones of Rina. The girl sitting across from them gave Haruna a small smile. "Do you hate me?"

"No..... I could never hate you," Haruna murmured softly. She sighed, looking down again. She knew very well that she should hate Rina for all she had done but Haruna simply couldn't find it in her to hate Rina.

"When did they release you?"

"Yesterday." Haruna purposefully stopped herself there. Even if Rina said she didn't hate Haruna, the brunette knew that very little good could come from Rina knowing Haruna would be staying with Tomomi for who knew how long.

"And you came to see me already? I'm surprised." Rina let out a bitter chuckle that sent a shiver down Mami's spine. She was trying to watch how Rina was acting and feeling but Rina was making that difficult.

"Why are you surprised?"

"I thought you wouldn't want to see me so soon. Look at what I did to you. You have no reason to want to see me."

"Stop that; I have every reason to come see you." Haruna looked up again. This time, her watery eyes had turned hard with determination. "I don't want to lose you, Rina. I know we can fix things. All four of us..."

"What makes you think I want to fix things with Tomomi?" Haruna was surprised at the interruption from Rina. She hadn't been expecting Rina to be so callous about what she had just said.

"Wouldn't you do it for me? Rina, I want you and Tomomi to get along. I don't want you to hate her like this. I don't even know why you hate her."

"You don't know why?" Rina muttered in a low and barely audible tone. Haruna's eyes darted down to the table again. "She took you, Haruna."

"She never took me, you always still had me," Haruna began, "I know I messed up and I know I didn't manage my time well enough but that will change. I promise it'll change; I can have time for both of you. We can all go back to how we were."

"We can't."

"Why not?" Mami cringed from the desperation in Haruna's tone. This visit was going a lot worse than Mami had hoped it would, but Mami couldn't say she had been too hopeful for a good meeting between the three girls.

"Because she'll still be more important!" Rina snapped loudly, causing Haruna to jump in surprise. "You always used to come to me whenever you needed help but you don't do that anymore. You never need me because you always have her around!"

"Rina... I didn't..."

"I’ve spent years taking care of you,” Rina rambled without taking notice of Haruna’s weak words. “I fell for you and I tried to keep my feelings subtle, hoping that you would notice them one day… And I really thought you had. I really thought you had noticed how deeply I loved you and that you felt the same for me… But you didn’t. You never noticed because you were always too busy being a whore!”

"Rina!" Mami shouted in a scolding tone. Rina's head snapped over to Mami, her eyes widening and appearing much softer than they had in what seemed like forever. Mami could see how Rina began shaking as she turned to face a teary eyed Haruna.

"H-how could you say that, Rina? The Rina I know would never say something like that about me, what's wrong with you?"

"I-I-I'm sorry, Haruna. I didn't... I didn't mean to say it... I didn't mean it..." Rina's voice was shaky as she spoke. Mami glanced at Haruna to see the older girl wipe away her tears, her eyes hardening again. "I don't want to hurt you. I miss you..."

"You don't have to miss me, I never went anywhere and I'm never going to go anywhere," Haruna started in a shaky voice. She gripped the bottom of her shirt again before continuing. "I'm not going to leave Tomomi but... But I'm not going to leave you either. Rina, I can't love you as a girlfriend but I can love you as a sister. We can all fix this if you’d just try.”

"Why her?" Rina's head bowed itself, her locks falling into her face and shadowing it. Mami could hear a soft whimpering noise coming from Rina as she did that.

"What do you mean?" Haruna asked.

"Why does it have to be Tomomi?" Mami could hear Rina's voice breaking as she spoke and it didn't take her long to figure out that Rina was indeed n the verse of crying now... The blonde was just glad she wasn't yelling anymore. "What does she have that I don't?"

"I.... I don't know how to answer that." Haruna wanted to give Rina an answer - really she did - but she didn't know what to give. She didn't know why it was Tomomi. There was just a spark there that connected the two of them. Haruna couldn't explain it any better than that and she knew that response wouldn't be good enough for Rina.

"Why can't I be good enough for you?"

"You are! I just... I don't like you the way you want me to. I can't. I don't know what else I can say to make you understand..."

"Rina..." Mami began right when Haruna finished, "you're hearing it straight from Haruna now. Haruna has Tomomi and you could have..." Mami trailed off, her words stalling in her throat.

"Mami?" Haruna asked softly when she noticed the abrupt pause in the blonde's words. As she looked over at her, Mami shook her head and continued her words.

"You have Miyuki and you have me. You have Tomomi and Haruna as well. We can work this out but you need to stop chasing Haruna. You need to get better."

Rina gave a small smile. She wasn't stupid, she knew Mami was about to say that Rina had her. In a way, Mami was right. Rina did have her... But was it right? If Rina did tell Mami she shared her feelings, how genuine would it be? Rina didn't know. She had already hurt two people, she didn't want to hurt a third. She didn't want Mami to be a simple rebound used to fix the pain Haruna's rejection had caused.

"Please work with them to get better," Haruna said softy, "I want to see you released from here. I want us to go back to how we used to be."

A silence fell between the three girls and Mami started to shift uncomfortably. Rina had her head down again so Mami couldn't see how she was feeling; she did have a bad feeling that Rina was crying and she knew deep down, Haruna wanted to do the same thing.

"I think we should call it a day," Mami began, "I can bring Haruna back again but right now, I think we're all tired. I don't want to push you, Rina."

"Do you have to go?" Rina murmured softly.

"We'll be back again soon, I promise," Mami answered. Rina looked up and Mami could see that she had been crying at least a little. Despite the tears, she gave them the best smile she could.

"I understand."

***

"Tomomi?"

The brunette's body shot off of the bench and she whirled around. She felt relieved when she saw Mami and Haruna behind her, both of them appearing well and safe. Haruna gave her a weak smile and instantly, Tomomi knew something had happened. She could see it in how weak Haruna's smile was and the emotion in her eyes.

Tomomi made her way over to the duo and Mami carefully let Haruna slip from her grasp and into Tomomi's. The brunette had her arms wrapped tightly around Haruna's shoulders as Haruna held onto her waist. Tomomi placed a kiss onto the top of Haruna's head, feeling Haruna nuzzle her head against Tomomi's body.

"How did it go?" Tomomi asked softly. She could feel Haruna tense and she instantly gripped the brunette tighter, whispering a soft encouragement to her. She looked over at Mami who had a similar sad look on her face like Haruna had.

"Rina and Haruna both got a bit upset but they got talking. It's not perfection but its progress," Mami told her. Tomomi nodded her head, tightening her grip as tightly as she could get without hurting Haruna.

"Tomomi.... Can I sit down please?" Haruna murmured softly. Tomomi smiled from the tone. It wasn't a sad one; it was more a disgruntled one. She knew Haruna was begrudgingly asking for help but she was happy Haruna was complying and actually asking for help when she needed it.

"Sure, sweetie. We can give you a rest before we head home." Haruna nodded to Tomomi's words before letting the brunette lead her over to the bench Tomomi has previously been on. Tomomi sat down next to her but Mami continued to stand, her hands stuffed into the pockets of her jacket while her tilted back head looked up at the sky.

Haruna scooted close to Tomomi, laying her head down onto her shoulder. Why Tomomi? The simple question Rina had asked had gotten Haruna thinking. Tomomi was an odd person; Haruna had never encountered someone like her. She had never know someone who had convinced her to take a chance on love and settle down. It was never something that had crossed her mind with any of her flings until she had met Tomomi. The brunette who could mimic a chipmunk was changing her and Haruna had no idea what it even was about Tomomi that made her want to change.

There was just something about Tomomi that attracted Haruna to her.

***

Haruna laid on the bed, her eyes watching as Tomomi ran around the room, putting everything back in its place... Or as close to it as possible. When the younger brunette finally finished her rounds around the room, she quickly made her way over to the bed, crawling up on it next to Haruna. She laid down on her side, watching as Haruna slowly moved herself onto her good side so the two girls were facing each other.

“How are you feeling?” Tomomi asked as she reached out, laying a hand on Haruna’s cheek. She wanted so badly to wrap her arms around Haruna and hold her just like she always did but she knew she couldn’t. With the wound there, Tomomi couldn’t hold Haruna like that anymore until it was fully healed.

“I’m fine, Timo. You really can stop asking that question,” Haruna said with an amused tone. She had lost count of how many times Tomomi had asked her that same question over the course of the day. She found it cute really; it was nice to have someone worry so much about her.

“I’m sorry, Haru. I just worry about you, you know that,” Tomomi told her with a sheepish smile. Haruna returned her smile, scooting her body closer to Tomomi. She moved slowly, careful not to move so her clothing pulled too tightly against the wound. Haruna wrapped her arms around Tomomi’s waist, nuzzling her head against her girlfriend’s body. Even if Tomomi could hold her, it didn’t stop Haruna from holding Tomomi.

The brunette in question tensed a bit when Haruna wrapped her arms around her but she quickly relaxed. She pushed on arm underneath Haruna’s body, draping the other one lightly over Haruna’s side, just inches above where she knew the wound lay. Tomomi was a bit surprised at the way Haruna had been acting since she had woke up. It was almost like the incident had changed her into a softer person. She was less abrasive and a bit quieter. To most, Haruna probably wouldn’t seem any quieter since she still ran her mouth constantly but Tomomi had noticed the decrease in sarcastic and – what Haruna considered – witty comments from the brunette.

“Tomomi…” The brunette left her thoughts, looking down at the girlfriend in her arms. Haruna still laid against her body, her head pressed against her chest and facing downwards so Tomomi couldn’t see her emotions. “Do you think I’m a whore?”

“W-what?” Tomomi squeaked out in surprise. Haruna lifted her head now so she was looking at Tomomi, patiently waiting for her to answer. “Of course not!” Tomomi answered her quickly and placed a kiss on her forehead before continuing, “I don’t believe in such disgusting terms. No one ever has a right to use them, people who do are despicable….. Who told you that?”

“Rina…” As Haruna said the name, Tomomi could see a few tears slip into her eyes but the older girl quickly blinked them away. Tomomi gave her a sad smile.

“I’m sorry, Haru,” she apologized gently. Had she known it was Rina who had said such a thing to Haruna, she might not have been so forward with her thoughts. She knew indirectly calling Rina a despicable person couldn’t have made Haruna feel any better.

“Don’t be sorry,” Haruna said as she shook her head. Tomomi leaned down, kissing her forehead again before pushing Haruna’s head down against her chest.

“Why did Rina say that to you?” Tomomi asked softly. Haruna shook her head, moving closer to Tomomi, giving the younger girl a clear sign that she didn’t want to answer that question. “It’s okay not to answer, Haruna. Just know that she had no right to say it and she’s wrong.”

“You always know the right thing to say,” Haruna said. Tomomi laughed softly from the tone Haruna had used. She resisted the urge to give Haruna a squeeze for the tone like she usually does and settled from just swatting her on the back, much to Haruna’s amusement. Tomomi moved her hand further up Haruna’s abdomen so she could thread her fingers through the locks of Haruna’s hair. She gave her a small kiss on the top of her head before speaking gently.

“I never want to hear you call yourself a name like that again, darling.”