All Downhill From Here

I had spaced out, staring at my food that I had hardly touched since it had arrived at the table over fifteen minutes ago. It was cold by know, I knew, but I hadn’t been exactly in the mood to eat anything anyway. Around 11:50 ish, Jesse and I drove over to Andrea’s work and picked her up. Since I supposedly had been unresponsive when the two of them had asked where I wanted to eat, so they decided on Denny’s since it was close to her work and pretty cheap.
I slightly shook my head, coming back to reality once I heard Andrea ask me how my job search had gone. I looked up at her and shrugged my shoulders slightly, “Okay, I guess. I mean, I’ve put out a lot of applications, but I haven’t gotten a call back from any of them yet.” “Aw,” she said, giving me a sympathetic look and nodding, “I’m sorry to hear that. Stay positive, though.” I nodded at her and smiled, “Yeah, will do. Thank you.” I looked back down at my food and sighed, feeling a headache beginning to start. I ran my fingers through my hair before grabbing the cold slice of bacon off of my plate and taking a bite from it.
“Hey, I got an idea,” Andrea piped up, sounding rather excited. I looked back up at her suspiciously and raised an eyebrow, “Okay.” “We just fired one of our employees where I work and we’re now looking for a replacement. I’m sure that I can talk to my boss and get you that position,” she told me, excitedly. I stared at her for a little while before chuckling, “Oh.” “What?” she questioned, tilting her head slightly. “Oh, um, nothing. It’s just not what I was expecting,” I mentioned, shrugging my shoulders and shaking my head.
Although it wasn’t what I was expecting, it was definitely an option that might be good for me. I mean, sure, I’d be working with Andrea, but it’d be a job and a start. Plus, it would be an income of money. I would totally be willing to work with Andrea if it mean that I could finally be employed somewhere and it had a decent pay. It would be a lot less stress on my shoulders that I had, so that would also be really good for me as well. I would totally be up for it.
I smiled at her and nodded, “You know what? That would really be great if you could do that for me. I would honestly appreciate that, Andrea.” She grinned and nodded, “I’ll get an application for you today and bring it to Jesse’s tonight so you can fill it out.” I chuckled and looked between her and Jesse, “Sounds like a plan. Thank you for this offer, I really appreciate it.” Jesse turned in the booth and leaned against the wall, grinning at me.
“You know, that would be perfect for you, Carson,” he mentioned, nodding at me. I raised a brow and chuckled, “Oh, really? Explain.” “Well, I mean,” he shrugged and looked around the restaurant before looking back to me, “It’s a good place to start. You’ll get the money to help support yourself and you’ll be able to get back on your feet.” “Alright, alright... Hold your horses, now, Mr. Pinkman. I don’t even have the job,” I mentioned, rolling my eyes, “And you’re just ready to get me out of your house.” He scoffed and shook his head, “I thought I already explained this last night.”
I chuckled and shrugged my shoulders, “I guess.” “Carson, you know I enjoy having around my house, but you also know how much I want you to get back on your feet and actually live your life, right?” he questioned. I nodded and waved my hand at him, “I know, I know. I’m only kidding.” Oh, what a lie. I could see that having me around was somewhat frustrating to him... Anyone could see that. I looked down at the plate in front of me and pushed it away, leaning back in the booth and sighing. I looked back up to Andrea for a moment then over to Jesse. He furrowed his brows and rested his arm on the table, looking at me.
Andrea looked at her watch on her arm and sighed, “I think we ought to leave soon. It’s almost one.” Jesse tore his eyes from me and looked at Andrea, “Yeah? Alright, let’s go then.” “Just let me use the bathroom and then I’ll be ready to go,” she mentioned, standing up and heading to the bathroom. I sighed and leaned forward, resting my elbows on the table and my chin in the palm of my hands. I was feeling the headache getting worse and I was also feeling the tiredness begging to get to me. I was kind of ready to go home and for a nap.
I raised my eyes and looked over at Jesse, whom was staring intently at me. I slightly tilted my head and pursed my lips, wondering why he was staring at me so intently. He took a deep breath and rested the side of his face against the palm of his hand. “Carson,” he mumbled. “Hm?” I answered, raising a brow at him. “You look hella tired,” he told me. I nodded and chuckled at him, “Yeah? I really am.” That was the truth, and he did too. Neither of us got a lot of sleep last night. I wasn’t even sure if Jesse actually got any sleep, to be quite honest.
I sighed and shrugged my shoulders, “I can sleep when we get back to the house.” He nodded and scooted out of the booth just as Andrea arrived. They walked away from the table and I exited the booth and followed behind them out of the restaurant. I sat in the back of Jesse’s car and sighed, strapping up. I tried my best to keep in the conversation with the two, but I found myself drowning out their voices as I stared out the car window. At least I tried... gotta give me credit for that.
I snapped out of my trance as Andrea sighed loudly and exited the car. I realized that we were at Andrea’s work now. I shook my head and unstrapped my seatbelt, also exiting the car and shutting the door behind me. I was startled with surprise hug from Andrea as I turned around to get in the front seat. I chuckled awkwardly and slightly wrapped my arms around her. I was exactly sure why she was hugging me, but it was weird... I didn’t like it.
“I’m going to talk to my boss today and kind of beat around the bush that I know someone who will want the position and I’ll get the application for you so you can fill it out tonight,” she mentioned, pulling out of the hug. I nodded at her and rubbed the back of my neck, “Yeah, cool. Thanks.” I tried to put as much enthusiasm into my voice as I could, but it sounded more sarcastic than anything. She grinned and nodded, “You’re welcome. See you guys later.” She waved to Jesse before turning and walking up to the building and entering. I watched her and nodded, “See ya.”
I climbed into the car and closed the door, looking over at Jesse and putting my seatbelt on. “So,” I mumbled as he began driving out of the parking lot. He glanced over at me and then back to the road, speeding up to get onto the main road. “What’re we going to do now?” I questioned, hoping that he had something in mind for us to do. He stayed silent and didn’t bother to look over at me. I furrowed my brows and pursed my lips, wondering if he was just thinking or something.
He usually got like this when he was mad at me, but I couldn’t think of a reason that he could be mad at me. I was talking to Andrea and I was being nice to her, so that couldn’t be it. Maybe if he was mad, then it would be because I didn’t eat... Maybe he was just tired.... Yeah, he was tired! That was most definitely the reason. I could see it in his eyes and his expression. He had been yawning all through lunch, so that was it...
Something was definitely on his mind and it was for sure bugging him. I could see that something was up, whether it was him being tired or not... Now it was just if he wanted to talk about it. “Jesse? What’s on your mind?” I questioned, quietly, looking over at him curiously. After no response, I looked back over at the road as he pulled into a deserted parking lot. He drove the car till he was about the center of the lot before he shut the car off and dropped his hands into his lap, staring out the windshield. I looked out the windows before looking back at Jesse, confused. I pursed my lips and also looked out the windshield, figuring I’d give him a minute or two to gather his thoughts and clear his mind.
Finally, after a couple of silent minutes, he let out a loud sigh and shifted in his seat so he faced me. I raised a brow and looked over at him, noticing his slightly annoyed expression. “What the hell, man?” he asked, shaking his head at me. I looked around for a couple of second before returning my look to him, even more confused that I was a little while ago, “I could ask you the same thing.” “What’s wrong with you?” he asked, with a scoff. I stared at him for a moment, “Jesse... Wha- I don’t understand what you’re talking about.” “What the hell was that back there?” he questioned, putting his hands up and staring at me.
After a while without a response from me, he raised his brows and scoffed, “With Andrea.” What was he talking about? “Jesse, you’re going to have to explain this a bit more. I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I stated, leaning back in my seat and crossing my arms over my chest. “You know damn well what I’m talking about, Carson,” he barked at me, “I’m talking about that bullshit when Andrea said she could help get you a job.” “I don’t know what “bullshit” you’re talking about,” I simply stated, completely honest.
He rolled his eyes, “The bullshit of you not showing appreciation for what she’s about to do for you. She’s trying to help you... She’s showing her support for you and you’re just brushing it off like it’s no big fucking deal.” I scoffed and shook my head, looking out the windshield. I felt my blood begin to boil more and more every second. I was appreciative of what Andrea was doing for me; I really was. It was great that she could potentially get me a job where she works and I was so very grateful that she going to try to get me that position. I may not like her, nor do I adore her, but I can still be appreciative of what she’s doing.
I took a few deep breaths to try to calm me down before I said anything to him, in hopes that I wouldn’t completely go off on him and bite his head off. “Excuse me, Jesse. But I am appreciative and thankful for her doing that. I truly am,” I stated, not allowing myself to look at him as I spoke, “I’m sovery sorry that my enthusiasm isn’t at an all time high today like yours is.” Jesse shifted in his seat and scoffed. I could tell that my last, very sarcastic, comment upset him and pissed him off in more ways than one by the way he had shifted and also by the way he was sitting.
I looked over at him for a second and then looked down at my lap, sighing. The both of us were frustrated and neither of us were making our point clear, it seemed; something that we both were pretty good at. No matter how much explanation we gave, nothing was ever made clear and it only made the both of us more upset than we were before. We both had this way of making snappy comment and having bad delivery, which probably made the situation worse than it ever should be.
“You can be such a bitch sometimes,” he whispered, shaking his head. I quickly looked over at him and stared for a second before taking a deep breath and quickly unbuckling my seatbelt. I jumped out of the car and slammed the door behind me as I stormed away from the car. I shook my head and took my pack of cigarettes out of my pocket along with my light and lit up a cigarette. I stopped walking after I felt I was far enough from the car and leaned up against a light pole.
I didn’t know why I took his comment so seriously this time. He always says things like that, both in a serious and joking manner, and I’ve never taken it this seriously. It hurt more than it ever had and I didn’t like the feeling it gave me. I felt tightness in my chest that made everything seem ten times worse. I also felt like I wanted to cry, but was able to quickly get rid of that feeling. I took a drag of my cigarette and sighed, looking down at the dirt pile on the asphalt. I rubbed the back of my neck with the palm of my hand, taking a few more deep breaths before taking a drag.
I didn’t bother to move when I heard a car door slam shut and or when I heard the scuffling of shoes against the asphalt coming towards me. I still stared at the dirt pile on the ground until I saw dirty sneakers slowly appear in my sight. I sighed again and stared at his shoes for a little while until I raised my head and looked at the traffic. I refused to look at him until I was a little more cooled off, but I didn’t know how long that was going to take, and I’m sure nor did he.
“Carson?” Jesse mumbled. I had no response. He took a few steps closer, getting in my line of vision, making me take a deep breath through my nose and close my eyes. He sighed, frustrated, “Carson, please... I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.” I knew he didn’t, but it still hurt and he knew that. I was going to give in as easily as I usually would. I wanted to really want me to forgive him, but I doubted that would happen. I was one of those people who easily forgave, but never forgot. Ugh.
I felt his hand touch my arm and I tried to pull away, but it turned out his other hand had been resting against the pole I was leaning against. He felt close... Closer than he was a minute ago. I felt his breath against my face and I opened my eyes quickly, seeing how close he actually was to me. I looked into his eyes and sighed, putting the cigarette between my lips and taking a drag.
“I’m sorry, Carson,” he repeated. He sounded sincere and I could tell that he was just by looking in his eyes. I sighed, reveling that I had giving in and forgave him, and shook my head. A small smile touched his lips as he grabbed the cigarette from my mouth. He put it up to his lips and took the last drag that was left before dropping it on the ground. I rolled my eyes and blew the smoke that was in my mouth into his face, “Asshole.” He shrugged his shoulder and nodded his head to the car, “Let’s get outta here.” I chuckled and nodded, shoving him away.
I honestly hated how easily he got me to forgive him. Hated it. It didn’t matter what he did to make me mad, because no matter how mad that I got at him, I always completely gave in and forgave him. I don’t know, I guess he is just that kind of person that you can’t stay mad at for too long... Unfortunately. Sometimes, I really wanted to stay mad at him for couple days, let alone a few hours, with out giving in and forgiving him. Ugh, son of a bitch.
Jesse wrapped his arm around my neck and dragged me towards the car. I grabbed his forearm in my hands and followed beside him until we reached the front of the car. “Okay, so... Let’s go to the arcade,” he suggested, dropping his arm and leaning against the hood of his car. I raised a brow and crossed my arms over my chest, “The arcade? I sure hope you have quarters.”
“Obviously. I’m the one with a job, huh?” he chuckled. He pushed off the hood of the car and walked to his car door. “Ooh, ouch,” I placed my hand against my chest, pretending to act hurt, “That hurts, Jesse. That truly hurts.” He opened his car door and gave me a sly smile, causing my knees to buckle slightly. “I’m sure you’ll get over it,” he mentioned, climbing into his car and shutting it. Holy shit. I scampered over to the car door and climbed in just as he started the car up.



“You are going down, punk,” I snapped, bumping my hip into his, causing his character in the arcade game to die. “No fair!” Jesse shouted, bumping into my hip. I giggled, “Get over it.” “New game, bitch,” he demanded, glaring over at me. I pulled four more quarters out of my pocket and handed two to him and then put the two of my quarters in the slot machine. The new game started up and we picked our characters and immediately began fighting each other.
I consistently smacked the action button to hit Jesse’s character, which was working, but I was pretty sure I was breaking the button the more and more that I smacked it. After about two minute into the game, a big K.O came across the screen as Jesse’s character went flying, casing him to groan in annoyance. “Alright, alright,” he mumbled, turning away from the game. “Who’s the master?” I asked, raising a brow and looking over at him, “You,” he said quietly, sounding disappointed that he didn’t win.
“What was that? I didn’t hear you. I’m sorry,” I smiled, leaning closer to him. “You are,” he said, slightly louder.” “Repeat?” I chuckled. “You’re the master at Tekken Tag,” he said louder, looking over at me and chuckling and raising his brows. I grinned at him in triumph and crossed my arms over my chest. “Now can we just go get cotton candy or a fuckin’... funnel cake?” he asked in a begging tone. “Why? Don’t want to play video games anymore?” I laughed, shrugging my shoulders. “No-o-o,” he frowned, “I just don’t want to get my ass kicked anymore.” Aw.
I took the both of our tickets that the machine had spat out and then linked my arm with his. We walked away from the arcade and in search of either funnel cakes or cotton candy; either of the two would do just fine. The both of us had been at the arcade for about two hours now and had spent the entire time playing arcade games. We had and bunch of tickets now from the games that we had played and could potentially get anything we wanted in the prize room, either a big stuffed animal or a few little trinkets and doodads.
I was glad that I did decide to go with Jesse today. The lunch today wasn’t even that bad, and to be honest, went a lot better than I was expecting it to be. Plus, Jesse and I got to hang out before and after the lunch, so that was also really great. I really had a lot of fun today and was really happy that I got some time alone with Jesse. Bonding time with him and I had been long over due. It had been a while since the both of us had hung out and this trip had definitely fulfilled the need. I was quite satisfied, but the only thing that could make this day better would be a nap.
“Found it,” Jesse stated, pointing towards the building that had the words “Funnel Cake” written in big letters on the wall. Anyone who didn’t see that building was oblivious to the world. “What? Where? I don’t see anything?” I asked, looking around jokingly. He elbowed me in the ribs and rolled his eyes, “Shut up, Carson.” I giggled and shrugged my shoulders, “I was kidding.” He released my arm from his and walked over to the building, order us a funnel cake. I sat down at a picnic table in front of the building and read the carving in the wood, raising a brow at a few of the things I saw.
Jesse came over to the picnic table and set a cup down in front me, “I figured that we needed something to drink while we waited.” I looked up at him and then to the drink, nodding at him, “Oh, cool. Good idea.” “Coke,” he mumbled. I laughed and sat up straight, “You know me so well.” He chuckled and shrugged his shoulders, “Hardly. I mean, I’ve only known you for about three months.” I rolled my eyes and shook my head, “Oh, whatever.” He chuckled for a second before furrowing his eyebrows and staring at me, seeming slightly confused.
“Wait, is that right?” he questioned, slightly tilted his head. I thought for a minute and nodded, “Yeah, three months.” He stared at me in disbelieve and ran his hand over his head, “Wow.” He raised a brow at him with a questioning look. He took notice to my look and shook his head, “It just seems like we’ve know each other for a longer time. It’s kind of weird.” He shrugged his shoulders and looking down at the carvings in the picnic table, “Maybe it’s just me.”
I shook my head and also looked down at the table, “No, no. It seems like a longer time to me too. It is kind of weird.” He looked up at me and nodded, “Right.” I shook my head and grabbed the drink; taking a sip of it and putting it back down. It honestly seemed like we had known each other for a much longer time than three months. I couldn’t quite place how long it felt, but it seemed like forever. I was honestly glad that I wasn’t the only one who felt like this and that Jesse was feeling the same way. It was reassuring to me, to be quite honest.
“Carson, can I get your honest opinion?” Jesse asked. I raised my eyes from the table and looked at him with a questioning look, “Of course.” The both of us looking over just as someone brought our funnel cake over with two forks. Jesse thanked him and grabbed a fork, looking at me. I grabbed a fork and cut a little bit of the funnel cake and stuff it into my mouth. “What is your honest opinion of Andrea and Brock?” he questioned, looking at me with a serious expression. I just stared at him in shock, not at all expecting that kind of question.
My honest opinion of Andrea? How could I tell him that my honest opinion of Andrea was that I thought she was annoying and clingy and that I hated her? That would totally crush him and I never wanted to do that him. I also didn’t want to lie to him and potentially hurt him that way, cause I knew that was wrong. I didn’t know what the right ting to do was, so I just did what I thought was best for him.
I smiled at him and shook my head, “I like her. She’s really sweet and I think you guys are great together.” I saw his eyes light up and he smiled at me. “Wow. Really?” he asked, sounding surprised. I nodded “Yeah, of course. I mean, you guys are great together. I think you both get along with each other good... I really think that she’s good for you.” I actually believed that. I thought that they were great together and I do believe that she was good for him. She made Jesse smiled and she made him happy, and if Jesse was happy, then so was I. That’s all I really cared about.
He chuckled and nodded, looking at the funnel cake, “I really like her. I don’t know, I’m glad that I met her.” I nodded at him and stayed quiet for a little while, before saying, “I’m glad that you met her as well. You seem a lot happier than you were... Before.” That statement shocked him, causing him to look up at me, furring his brows, “Oh... Uhm. Yeah.” Shit. I shook my head. “Look, I’m glad that you like her. You know that you’re my best friend, so your opinion really means a lot to me and is really important to me,” he told me, giving me a slightly smile.
I gave him a genuine smile and nodded, “Well, your opinions mean a lot to me as well, and you are also my best friend, Jesse.” It nice to hear that my opinions meant a lot to him, even though I had been lying about my opinions about Andrea. Jesse truly meant a lot to me and I hated lying to him, but I didn’t want to risk hurting him more than I potentially could have with telling him the truth. “You can talk to me about anything, Jesse,” I told him, causing him to flash me a huge grin.