All Downhill From Here

I watched the slightly drunk and high Badger tell his own little story about Star Trek to Skinny Pete and myself while we were in the living room. Skinny was acting totally into the story and gave excited reactions as Badger continued on. It was actually rather amusing, more so his reactions and demonstrations of everything than the actual story, but I had to admit that the situation of his story was funny as well.
“Chekov screams, he sprays blood out of his mouth; Scotty beamed his guts into space!” Badger exclaimed, throwing his hands up above his head to add some sort of dramatic effect, I had assumed. I busted out into a fit of laughter while Skinny Pete grabbed a pillow from the futon he was sitting on and held it tightly in surprise. I was just about to comment with something when I heard the door slamming, causing me – and everyone else – to look over at the door, seeing Jesse standing there.
I chewed on my bottom lip and looked down at the ground. I really wasn’t expecting Jesse to be home until 5, considering he had gone to work, but, oh well. I hummed, feeling slightly awkward after Badger asked Jesse what was going on, and elbowed Badger in the arm, “I’ll see you later.” Before I got too much of a chance to walk away, Badger quickly turned and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me back and into a hug. “See you later, Carson,” he said, setting me back down on the ground and patting my shoulder with his hand. I laughed and then quickly fled up the stairs and into my room, closing my door behind me.
I walked over to my dresser and opened the drawer, pulling my fifty billion year old iPod I had gotten forever ago and my earbuds out and closing the drawer. I walked over to my bed and sat down before plugging the cord into the iPod and starting Forever Love by X Japan. I had wondered why Jesse hadn’t gone to work today, but I had hoped that he was going to leave again soon.
I still hadn’t forgiven him - which I was quite proud of myself for - for what he had done, considering that he hadn’t even apologized. I thought that it was rather odd that he hadn’t tried to apologized, but I guess he wanted to give me space... Or I had just been avoiding him enough for him to not get a chance to apologize. Either way, it kind of bothered me.



I sighed and skipped the song I had been listening to and looked back at my book, flipping the page. I had been reading for the past couple of hours and was kind of getting tired of doing It, considering I had been at it for so many hours now. I looked over at my alarm clock and saw this it was almost twelve thirty and sighed. My stomach was growling like crazy and it gave me the feeling like I was going to vomit. I looked back forward and jumped at I saw Jesse was sitting on the edge of the bed now.
“Fuck!” I shouted, flailing and almost falling off the bed in shock. “Jesus, fuck, Jesse,” I barked, putting my hand on my chest, feeling my heart beating extremely fast. Jesse raised a brow at me and his mouth began to move as if he were talking. “What?” I quickly asked, grabbing the cord to my earbuds and ripping them out of my ears. “I asked if you were okay,” he mumbled before scrunching his face, causing little wrinkles around his little nose. I nodded and took a deep breath, removing my hand from my chest and dropping it into my lap, “Yeah... I’m okay.”
He lifted up the plate that was in his hand and gave me a small smile, “I made you a sandwich, if you want one.” I looked down at the plates that had two sandwiches and looked back at him nodded, “Yeah, I do. Thanks.” He kicked his shoes off before sitting cross legged on my bed and grabbing a sandwich and taking a bite of it. I pursed my lips before grabbing a sandwich and also taking a bite. Bologna sandwich.
We sat there in silence for a few minutes and it was really awkward. I didn’t know if I should say something or not and I didn’t exactly know if he was going to say anything. I hated just sitting in the quiet with him and it was getting more and more awkward with the more time that passed. Besides, I kind of didn’t even want him here because I was indeed still mad at him for the other day. I was still quite bothered. I looked at Jesse and noticed his uncomfortable eating and nodded to myself.
“Uhm, thanks for the sandwich,” I mumbled, lifting the sandwich up. He looked up at me and nodded, giving me a small smile, “Oh, yeah, no problem.” Things fell silent again between us and I became frustrated, once again. I wanted him to leave, but I wanted him to stay something to me. However, what was the entire point of him being in here if he wasn’t going to say anything to me while he was sitting there? I sighed and put the sandwich down on the plate and rubbed my finger tips against my forehead.
“Look, Carson. I’m sorry I was acting like such an asshole the other day. It was completely unfair of me to be jumping your case about getting involved in my life and then turn around and do the same thing with you. I feel like such an asshole and I am so sorry,” Jesse rushed out, dropping the sandwich on the plate and looking up at me with a saddened look.
I stared at him for a minute and pursed my lips, shaking my head at him. “I am such a jackass and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me,” he replied, frowning. I raised a brow at him and nodded, letting a smirk touch my lips, “You are.” He stared at me before beginning to chuckle and smiled, “And you are so mean.” I smiled and shrugged my shoulders at him, “Okay.” He leaned over a punched my shoulder and rolled his eyes.
I smiled at him and sighed, “I forgive you, you asshole. But you are a jackass.” He nodded and shrugged, “Hey, well, you know.” He looked down and nodded to himself, letting a smile come across his lips. I pursed my lips for a moment and looked at his face, examining it a little bit, “I’m sorry that I hit you,” I said sincerely. I did feel bad that I had smacked him, especially as hard as I did. He shook his head and put his hand up, “Don’t worry about it. I totally deserved it.” “I still feel bad,” I mumbled, shrugging my shoulders.
Jesse moved the plate over to the other half of the bed and scooted towards me, wrapping his thin arms around my waist and pulling me into his chest, giving me a tight hug. He rested the side of his face against the front of my shoulder and murmured, “I love you, Carson. You’re my best friend.” I sighed and wrapped my around his neck, resting my chin on the top of his shoulder. “I love you, too, Jesse,” I said, closing my eyes and taking in a deep breath. I was happy that Jesse and I had made up, and I actually felt like the make up was sincere.