Forever, Ever

"I was 15 and he was 20, he's the only man I've ever been with," she started quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. She was too afraid to talk any louder, as if the words would suddenly bring it all back if she spoke any louder.

"If I tell you, please don't say anything, don't stop me because I won't be able to start again," Ana warned Harry, turning to look directly into his eyes. He only nodded silently, willing her to continue on.

"James was... amazing," she spoke the words slowly, "at first. He made so many promises and he made me feel so happy. I loved being around him. I loved him so much at times I felt like I couldn't breathe, as if I was going to drown in my emotions every time I looked at him. Everything was kept secret until I turned 16 and I told my mother about it. She was... furious," as Ana said the last word, her eyebrows furrowed together.

"I don't remember my mother ever being so mad at me before. She said I needed to break up with him, she said it was wrong and he was disgusting, he was using me. And I hated her for it. I told her that I loved him, she wouldn't understand. We fought so much about it and eventually I threatened to move out. I can't even remember now what had caused me to finally do it, I just remember packing my things and then I was in James' house."

"After I moved in with James, it was easy to quit school. He told me he would always take care of me and provide for me, and I believed him, so I dropped out. Providing for me came with conditions though... He wanted me to be a stay at home girlfriend. He wanted me to be homely and domestic. I needed dinner on the table when he came home from work, I needed to have laundry done every day. The house was to be spotless, the bed always made, the bathroom always clean. It wasn't hard at first, I didn't mind cleaning around the house, it gave me something to do. But I started to miss my friends soon and that's when he started getting very... very angry," Ana sighed, looking down at her hands.

"I'd never been hit before in my life, my mother never laid a hand on me. I didn't know what to do so I ran. I ran away from him. I ran to my mother. But she wouldn't take me back, she wouldn't even open her door for me," Ana swallowed the lump that was starting to form again in her throat.

She didn't dare look up at Harry, instead she fixed her gaze on a spot on the wall across the room. She took a deep breath to gain back her confidence to continue speaking. With every word she could see it all replaying in her mind.

"He found me eventually, and he apologised and apologised and apologised. I forgave him for it, I'd somehow convinced myself that it was an accident and it would never happen again but I was wrong. After that... he just got so much angrier about things not being done around the house. I always worked so hard to do what he wanted me to do, and slowly it just started never being enough for him."

"I was quite an innocent child before him, and he was the only man I'd ever been with at that time. So.. when it happened, I didn't know what it was. H-he," she inhaled sharpley, trying to hold back tears, "he would pin me down on the bed a-and he would r-ra-, he would ra-," Ana couldn't get the word to come out of her mouth.

She gripped the sides of her head in frustration, willing the words to come out of her mouth. She could feel them, stuck right in the middle of her throat.

"And I didn't know what it was, but I knew that I didn't want to have sex with him a-and so when he was gone I searched for it on the internet and found out w-what... that word... meant. And s-somehow he found out and he was so angry with me."

"You think I raped you?! Is that what you think I did?" James yelled at the cowering girl in the corner. "You're mine, I can do whatever I want to you but I certainly did not rape you, you little bitch!"

Ana hid her face in her hands as she sobbed into them, bringing her knees up to her chest and trying to hide in the corner as much as she could.

"I'll teach you about pulling shit like that again," James muttered as he pulled his belt from the loops of his pants.

Ana never screamed so hard in her life.

Ana allowed herself a moment to cry softly into her hands. She could hear Harry sniffling behind her but she still didn't look back, afraid that seeing his face would cause the words to crawl right back into their hiding spot.

"I was afraid I was going to die, I felt like I could have. Every part of my body hurt, I was bed-ridden for weeks trying to recover. I never left the house after that, afraid that someone would see what he did to me. Things were... alright.. as alright as they could get, for a while. Then I started having days where I would just be so sick and so exhausted, so I would take to napping a bit while he was at work. One day I overslept and so I rushed to get his dinner ready. I had literally turned to set his plate down on the table as he walked into the kitchen. He didn't say a word to me until he had finished eating. He yelled at me but I thought that was going to be it, he had gone to bed afterwards. I stayed up cleaning the kitchen like he had told me to and then I went to go to bed."

"I thought he was sleeping but," she whispered, shaking her head. "He wasn't. I tried to get him to stop, I tried to get his hands off of me be-because I was afraid that if he," she nodded her head to indicate the word she could not get herself to say, "if he did that, h-he would... kill," she swallowed harshly, "he would kill the baby," she whispered.

She heard Harry sob next to her and closed her eyes tightly, trying not to break down just yet.

"But I couldn't get him to stop. It went on so long, I lost track of time, I'm not even sure I was conscious for some of it. When he was done he shoved me off the bed and I crawled to the bathroom. A-and when I reached down to check... there was so. much. blood. And I knew that the baby was gone. I was so terrified, I didn't even feel like I was in my own body at that point. I called the police and it was all just a blur to me. I heard James yelling and screaming and then I was being led outside to an ambulance and it was storming badly."

"The last thing he ever said to me w-was that he was going to k-kill me," she choked out. "And after I was released from the hospital, I immediately went to pack some clothes and a few things and then I ran and I hitchhiked and I walked, all the way here. And I've been so scared ever since that he's going to find me."

Ana took a deep, shaky breath, no longer holding back her tears as they flowed freely down her face. She finally allowed herself to turn and face Harry. His eyes were bloodshot and his mouth was open, letting out shaky, uneven breaths as he cried. His chin trembled as he tried to collect himself to no avail.

"I-I'm so sorry AnaBelle," he cried softly. "And you will never have to be scared when you're with me because I will never let anything happen to you," he said seriously through his tears.

His words caused Ana to cry more. She did feel safe with him and it scared her how fast she had become comfortable around him. Every fibre in her body told her that Harry was not the same person as James, and she knew that Harry would never be a fraction of a person that James was, but regardless, Ana wanted to protect herself. She wanted to make sure that no person would ever do something like that to her again.

"You will always be safe with me, AnaBelle," Harry whispered, reaching out to take the crying girl in his arms.

Ana collapsed into his chest, holding onto his arm as she buried her face in his neck.

"I will always protect you."