Can You Save Me Now?

I was sitting in the waiting room thinking about how this day went from bad to worse. Of course it had its good parts as well, but mostly it was all bad because I was a stupid arrogant girl, I thought everyone else was my problem. But all in all I was.

I finally started to let some one in then ended up shoving them out of not only my heart but a physical shoving which resulted in God know what. I am sitting here thinking about how I was so close to telling him about my life about my father's death. And just as I was about to let him completely into my world I got scared.

"Hey Q.T. what philosophical thing are you thinking of now" Carter said emerging from nowhere. I want to tell him but something caused me to snap at him. "Wow hot shot knows a word like philosophical?!" His face flooded with disappointment and hurt, and I already felt bad for saying it. "Carter I'm..."

"Don't worry about it. I get it you absolutely hate me." He began to walk away. If this were a movie I would have stopped him and begged him to here my side of the story. But this is not a movie and that's not what I did. Instead I stayed silent and just followed him out to my car. I wish I want scared to let someone in, but for so long I had to learn my independence because I had no one. My dad left me alone, he was the only thing I ever really had and he left me here in this eternal damnation of self-independence and self-abuse

Carter though reminded me of my dad, I guess that's why I almost let him in. And also why I shut him out. But like I said before no one will ever know unless I tell. I am the key to this secret in my life. But most importantly I am the lock...