Can You Save Me Now?

I sit in the car and surprisingly there is classical music playing. I knew I was right about going to the tree house when we passed the edge of the town. I can see the occasional glances he shoots at me, I'm still angry and confused, don't get me wrong, but this whole thing is kind of soothing. There was no talking, just the music as we drove through the woods. There was no worry about someone laughing at me either.

He pulls up and parks in the small clearing. The underbrush getting too thick for his car to drive any farther, if I had my Jeep it would have made it. Were, as his Lincoln would not. He looks over at me and goes to say something then stops. He faces back forward, and grabs the steering wheel with both hands. He continues to look forward as we sat in silence for a few minutes. Then he rests his head down on the steering wheel, "I'm sorry Molly" he mumbles," I didn't mean to make you upset or angry. I'm sorry if I am a burden"

"You're not a bur--"

"and I'm sorry that I kissed you"

"Oh" I hate to say it but now that he said that, my heart hurt. I wanted to be able to remain in the falsity of my fantasy that maybe I was desirable, but there goes that.

"I mean isn't that what you want to hear?! Aren't you happy?! Isn't this what you wanted all along? You don't want to let anybody in", Now he looked at me. He was yelling to, but lucky his hands stayed on the steering wheel, clutching it so tightly that his knuckles where turning white. "Molly, I freaking tried. Just like I tried the day your dad died, for all I know you might not even remember that with how out of it you where. I bet you forgot the night you and your mom got into a fight and you showed up at my house drunk as hell and I listened to you talk for three hours, or how I held back your hair when you threw up?! Do you remember kissing my in the 9th grade and telling me you loved me? Or was I just a game to you? did that douche A.J. make you forget any one could ever actually like you?"

With that he got out of the car and slammed the door shut and walked into the woods, leaving me shocked, speechless, and confused. because I don't remember those things, the pills the doctor put me on for depression made me go crazy and forget everything in the past, that's why I stopped, that's why I moved to the attic. The cuts where the only medicine that helped.

Am I really this messed up, did I really talk to him? what happened to me? Someone please, talk to me!