Can You Save Me Now?

I asked him if he regrets it and he says yes, how am I supposed to react? Was I not good enough for him? Was it bad? I was so confused and hurt. All I wanted was for him to come back and explain tell me it was a joke that I couldn't remember half the stuff I did with him. I wanted to know. I wanted to remember. I wanted to love him like he said I once did. How did it come to this. How could I so easily forget and move on with my life?

I heard Carter let out a deep sigh then begin to walk away. I wait until I could no longer hear his footsteps crush the leaves that just began to fall on the ground. And like the seasons change so does my life. Around every corner was a new surprise and just when I think I know the spring the leaves start to fall for Autumn. Was I the leaf? Am I falling? And for what, something that I vaguely remember.

I still sit on the forest floor for another hour before I have the strength to pick myself back up. I slowly climb the steps to my sanctuary. And lay down on the same spot as I did the first day Carter came here. My heart ached with regret for something I could not easily change. But this time I knew it was worth it. This time I wanted to feel the heart break if it came. I want to feel anything besides the numbing pain of my knife and the hollowness of my empty life.