Can You Save Me Now?

I never gave her the poem -- I couldn't! I didn't want her to think of me as creepy, or clingy, or... I don't know. I just don't want to lose her anymore than I already have. Sometimes, I'll sit around, and all I can think about is what to say when I see her next. But whenever I do see her, which is only ever at school, we seem to mutually ignore each other completely. She must hate me for all that I've done, and in all honesty, I wouldn't blame her.

But I've never known nights as long as the ones I've had since Molly and I argued. I got little to no sleep, but when I did somehow fall asleep, I would dream. It was always the same dream, or at least, the same setting and feel to it.

We were sitting in a meadow, Molly Marie and I. Surrounded by trees, flowers, and grass that hadn't been trimmed in a good while, the two of us spoke easily, about simple things. I had my head in her lap, and she was placing flowers into my hair, despite the protests I always gave at the beginning of the dreams. Eventually, though, I gave in, as I always would. After a while, we both fell into a silence, and I would close my eyes and hold my breath.

''Carter?"

And I'd open my eyes to look at her, about to say something to ease the worry that I knew would take her expression, but I couldn't bring myself to it. Instead, I breathe out, sounding as if I hadn't the chance to do so in such a very long time. "This isn't a dream, is it?"

She laughed, a sweet, beautiful sound, shaking her head. Her hair was curled loosely, and the curls bounced around her face, which was bright with a smile. "Of course not!"

I smiled then, reaching up to place a hand on her cheek. "I'm happy."

"As you should be," and those were always the last words of the dream before it ended.

Seeing her in school after those dreams caused my heart to ache terribly, and I wanted nothing more than to hold my Molly Marie. But no, she wasn't even mine to hold. Everyday was a drag, and I was more than content with hiding away in my room as soon as I got home each time. One night, though, I sat on my bed, reading a book rather intently. I barely heard the knock on my door, but I did notice my mother walk in, and I rose a brow. As soon as that lovely name left her lips, I scrambled out of the room, not caring where my book fell or if I lost my place.

I ran downstairs, and there she was. At first I wondered if I was dreaming again, if this was just a result of not eating and taking care of myself. Maybe I was going mad.

"...Molly?"

Molly Marie walked towards me, saying something that I couldn't quite hear before she pulled me close, and I complied with eagerness. I wrapped an arm around her waist, running a hand through her chair, letting it rest on her cheek. I felt dumb, unable to hear or see or feel anything but her. I couldn't help but kiss her mid-sentence, and after a moment she pulled away, and those few words were enough to put my heart on fast forward.

"--to love you again." And she kissed me again. If this was a dream, if I were going mad... oh, I'd accept it. I could feel hear heartbeat against mine and her shaky breath hitching between the kisses. When we pulled away again, the both of us were breathless, but for what seemed the first time in forever, smiling.

"My Molly Marie..." She flushed at the words, nodding slowly, as if to confirm it. "I've always loved you."

The rest of the night was a blur, and I can only describe it with the feeling of being love-drunk. We didn't let go of each other for the rest of the time spent that night, holding hands, hugging, watching movies together until we feel asleep in each other's arms.

I forgot what it was like to be happy. But oh, what a feeling to remember.