The House That Doubt Built

High school is nothing but a metaphor. It's like you're stuck in this vortex of hell for 4 years, or 37 weeks, or roughly 720 days, or however you come to look at it, you're still... stuck. We spend our oh-so-fucking glorious days of high school submerged under water until we surrender to a group or posse so people can stick a label on us and go on with their day. I, Kayley Schultz, refuse to become anything -- or anyone's property.

I have a few friends. Not many, but just enough to get by. There aren't very many things I cared about in my life. I didn't care about the latest fashion fad, or any popular social network, or the new Justin Timber.. whatever his name was' album. I only cared about my mom, rock music, and my friends; Amelia, Neil, and Josh. I'd known Amelia all my life, and she was the only friend that hadn't strayed away due to being bribed with a cheerleading skirt or a minute of popularity. Josh, I'd met the first day of ninth grade. Millie and I kinda took him in since he was already a target, (just like the rest of the freshman, but the poor kid had the whole pimple-faced awkward nerd come-on about him, making him as vulnerable as ever.) Long story short, some JV jock knocked his lunch all over him, we helped him clean up, and now he's one of our best friends; and quite possibly the sweetest guy I've ever met. Neil used to be a jock, until he got kicked off of the team and has to take a few lower-classmen courses because he loved to ditch his core classes and get stoned. By accident, we just started talking, he started hanging with us every weekend, and soon became a huge part of our lives.

We all used to be the clowns of the school, but as our bond with each other grew stronger, so did we; so one day, they stopped caring. That was a good thing, considering we never cared about those assholes to begin with.

I looked up from aimlessly skipping through songs on Pandora as I heard feet pound the pavement leading up to my driveway.
"Kayley!" Millie screamed, knocking the breath out of me as she almost toppled us over, throwing her arms around me. I fumbled to catch my phone before it hit the ground, and latched onto it with a huff as I hugged her back. Josh gave me a shy smile as we made eye contact, hand in his pocket and pusillanimously waiting his turn for a hug. Once Mills pulled away, he walked up and pulled me into a one armed hug, which I happily curled into.
"Kay!" Amelia practically screamed, making me jump just slightly. I raised my eyebrow and smirked.
"You're way too happy for a Monday morning," I mumbled, pulling away to look up at Josh. "What did she get into? Did you take your meds?" I asked, seriousness evident in my voice. If she doesn't take her ADHD pills, she's all loopy and giddy in the morning, but by lunch she'd be crying on the floor and lashing out at everything.
"Oh, shut up. I've only had like 5 cups of coffee, which isn't like out of the norm for me," She stated, "You know I need at least 3 cups to deal with the peasants that walk the campus." I laughed and handed her my other ear bud as we walked down my steep drive way and onto the rocky asphalt. Josh awkwardly latched onto his backpack straps and I nudged him as I walked.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, just hard comin' back from that 3 day weekend," He faked a laugh. He still hated making the dreadful walk through those doors--shit, we all did. Having friends didn't mean that we still didn't want to set fire to the school, it just made the feeling alone aspect easier to deal with. We praised God for every Teacher in-service day and break we could get.
"Hey, where's Neil?" I mumbled. I got a monotone, "Sick," from them both; only to nod my head as Green Day silently played through my earbud, Mills humming along.
"You hear about the new kid?"
"New kid? Since when do you have the scoop on the latest gossip, Amelia?" I teased. She groaned, shoving me into Josh who caught me and brought me up right again, leaving me to snicker.
"I've known you since fucking fourth grade, Kayley Rose. That should be long enough to know that I despise my full name. Besides, the Barbies talk loud enough that we all get the school news whether we want it or not." Josh and I both laughed at that, because, I mean how true is that.
"Supposedly he's cute," She continued nonchalantly, blowing a bubble with her gum and bumping into my shoulder with every other step, the headphone wire keeping us almost intertwined.
"That shouldn't matter, Mills. One, how could anybody know what he looks like if he's new? And two, you know how the system works-"
"I know I know, but hear me out. We could maybe take him under our wing before the plastics or jocks get him, y'know?"
"We don't even know the dude. You're jumping the gun, babe. We can't get our hopes up because-"

"We'll just get fucked over." Josh finished for me.

JEREMY'S POV

"JEREMY! HURRY UP, YOU CAN'T BE LATE!" My mother screamed into my room as she rushed around the house. I rolled my eyes and tied my shoes.
"Mom, we're right down the street-"
"You still have to get your schedule and everything! You better be out the door in 10 minutes!" At this point, I heard the door close and huffed as I stood up and walked to the mirror, flattening down my hair. I grabbed my back pack and headphones with shaky hands, half shuffling-half skipping down the stairs and out the door. I walked to the car, throwing my back pack through the open window before jumping in. As my mom pulled out, she flew down the street, swerving around a few kids to floor it out of the neighborhood and down to my new school.

It sucked. Moving to a new school, I mean. Moving at all, really. Having to leave my friends at my old school, move over an hour away from them, basically leave everything of mine behind so that my mom could get a raise by working at a different department, starting over. It all just... fucking sucked, man. But I was happy for my mom. That's all that mattered, right? Right?

"Look, hunny. I know this is hard-" She stated empathetically as she pulled into the drop off line.
"Moving into a school halfway through the year? Yeah, I'll be fine," I assured... Wasn't too sure if that was a lie or the truth, but I managed to get away with it as she nodded slowly.I took a deep breath and hopped out of the car and closed the door.
"Love you!" I nodded in return as she drove off, leaving me to walk through the office doors as the late bell rang.
"Great," I huffed to myself, throwing open the door and gripping on tighter to my backpack as I walked up to the school office attendee typing hastily on her post-it note covered computer. I coughed to get her attention and she looked up and smiled, hands folded under her chin as she leaned on the table.
"How can I help ya, hun?"
"Um... I'm new?"
"Oh!" She practically shouted. "Well, welcome to Ocala High, I'm Miss Lewis, but the students here usually call me Miss S, you are?" I was kind of taken off guard by her nice-ness. It was the kind of rehearsed genuineness that made you extremely uncomfortable and a little sick to your stomach-- as if I weren't already, but I still managed to studder out my name.
"Mr. Mckinnon?" She asked, licking her thumb and searching through files that piled a-top her desk. I thought in order to have this job, you had to be at least the slightest bit organized.
"Aha! Here you go, sweetie. I'll write you a pass, just wait one moment, please," She told me, placing an envelope in my hand before pulling out a stack of passes. As she was writing out my pass, I saw 3 kids that somehow looked vaguely familiar duck under the desk and try to sneak past Miss Lewis. I looked down at them and smirked. The brunette smiled up at me and waved shyly before putting a finger to her lips. The blond guy ducked and booked it around the corner with the brunette as Miss Lewis returned with my pass; gasping when she saw the blonde girl trying to make it past her.
"Kayley Schultz!" The girl--I presumed was Kayley-- froze in her crouched position before slowly standing and turning to face me for the first time. My eyebrows shot up at how pretty she was.
"Yes, Ma'am?"
"Would you like to explain to me why you are trying to sneak past my desk?!"
"Well, I-"
"I don't want to hear it!" She locked eyes with me, throwing her hands up in the air as if to say, 'she asked me to explain, what the hell?' I laughed under my breath and shook my head. Miss Lewis snatched out another pack of slips, and scribbled her name on one and giving it to her.
"I catch you one more time, that's detention. Got it?" She asked, then turning to me and handing me my pass with a sickeningly sweet smile.
"Welcome again to Ocala High. If you have any questions, feel free to ask any teachers or come down and ask me." I nodded slowly and opened my envelope that held my schedule as I walked. I watched this Kayley girl storm past me and I caught up to her.
"Whoa, hey." She looked up at me and appeared to bite the inside of her cheek.
"Hey. You the new kid? Wait, obviously.. I mean, you're talking to me. And you're holding a schedule. I-... ignore me, nevermind." She trailed off, slowly getting quieter. She seemed flustered, it was cute. I laughed.
"Chill Kayley, it's cool." She stuffed her late pass in her pocket and raised her eyebrow.
"Okay... so you know my name. It's only fair that I know yours now, yeah? You are..?"
"Jeremy," I mumbled, holding open the office doors for her as she walked out behind me.
"Well, Jeremy. It was a horrible idea to come here."
"Oh yeah?"
"Would I lie to you?"
"Hmm, would you?" She rolled her eyes.
"Don't answer my question with a question." I smirked and looked down at my schedule. AP language? Where the fuck is AP language?
"AP Language for homeroom? Are you in Tenth or Eleventh?" I looked down at her as she stole a peek of my schedule.
"Eleventh, I guess."
"You guess?" She mocked. I mumbled a, 'Whatever'. She sighed and nodded her head to follow her down a hallway. "I'll lead you to it,"
"A-Aren't you late enough as it is? I'll figure it out, go to class." She raised an eyebrow and laughed under her breath.
"Where am I supposed to go when we have the same homeroom?"
"Oh." She smiled up at me, but her smile slowly dropped and her eyes trained on a door to our right.
"It was nice to meet you Jeremy, really," She mumbled, hand on the doorknob.
"You make it sound like it's the last time," I chuckled sarcastically, standing there puzzled at her response a few moments later.

"It just might be," She told me before opening the door and walking into the classroom.

KAYLEY'S POV

The metal door slammed, clicked and locked, all heads simultaneously turning towards me.
"Schultz!" Mr. Gray screamed.
"Sorry I'm late, sir, I-"
"I don't care. You've already disrupted the class, just take your seat." The class snickered and I rolled my eyes. Nobody let's me fucking explain anything here, do they. I slammed the pass on his desk and slid into my own as the door opened once again. The teacher sighed and frustratingly ripped off his glasses.
"And who are you?"
"Um, Jeremy Mckinnon?"
"Ah, come." Millie, who was 3 rows over looked at me and smirked.
"eight outta ten?" she mouthed. I rolled my eyes, but couldn't quite hold back the small smile that threatened to cross my lips. The kid was cute (A dorky kinda cute, but cute), and pretty charismatic too, but the system is bound to fuck everything and every kid up. I could already see the barbies clawing at each other in a desperate attempt to get to him first.
Jeremy was assigned a seat, 1 row over and back from where I was at. I could see him look at me and smile out of the corner of my eye, but ignored it as the teacher slammed a stack of books on a student's desk.
"Alright, if there are no more interruptions, I'd like to begin instructions. Today, we-- well, you, will begin reading the book Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury. You will be finished with this book in three and a half weeks, and will write a 3 page report due in four, understood?" He roared. We all nodded, some scoffs and groans erupting as the books were being passed back to each student.

Now, I loved reading.

If it were sheet music. Or if it were a book that I could easily get sucked into, but just by reading of the back, I could already tell that I'd be banging my head against a wall for the duration of it. I looked up and sighed, looking toward Josh, but my eyes catching Krystal already smiling at Jeremy. I rolled my eyes and turned around to an oblivious Jeremy who had just tapped me on the shoulder.
"You gotta pencil?"
"First day, and you don't bring a pencil?" He shrugged.
"Maybe I'm not good at remembering things." I studied his face before sighing and giving him my pencil; taking a pen of mine from my pocket and pointing it at him. "I want it back."
"You'll get it back, don't worry," He laughed. I nodded and turned around, chewing on my pen cap as I opened the book and began reading for the last 10 minutes of homeroom.

~~~

MILLIE'S POV

The bell rang, leaving us to jump out of our seats and practically run to the door before Mr. G could hold us. I looked over at Kay who was talking to James(?) no.. Jeremy? Pretty sure that was his name. He gave her back her bright blue pencil and she began walking down the isle and out the door with Josh. Jeremy and I went to exit as well until I heard an annoying voice and awkward cough. I looked back over to see one of the barbie's hands on his chest. I looked between the hallway where my friends were and to Jeremy. After a moments hesitation, I sighed and hopped stepped on the desk seat next to me, climbing over to Jeremy and fucking Krystal.

Kay's gonna hate me for this.

"Krystal, fuck off." Her head snapped towards me and she snarled.
"How about you fuck off, loser. I'm just trying to make friends with the new guy here." She smiled, running a manicured nail down his chest. Jeremy awkwardly tried to step back. I rolled my eyes and stepped between her and him.
"Listen slut, nobody wants shit to do with you or with the amount of STD's you carry. Stop trying to infect the new kid and stick with fucking the whole Varsity football team," I seethed. Jeremy's mouth dropped open and he tried to hold back a laugh as Krystal let out an obnoxious high-pitched gasp.
"You fucking bitch!" She screamed. "You'll pay for that, you waste of life!" I rolled my eyes, grabbing Jeremy's wrist and shoving past her.
"Really? I sure as hell won't pay for anything, hun. That's your daddy's job." I laughed as I walked out with the new kid. As we exited and a huffing Krystal stormed past us, I looked up at him and smiled.
"Hey, I'm Millie."
"Oh yeah, brunette I saw this morning, right?" I shrugged and smiled.
"That's me!"
"Hey, thanks for that back there. I was just so taken back by how forward she was. Wasn't sure how to react."
"I wouldn't be surprised if she asked if you wanted to fuck behind the bleachers." He scoffed and mumbled something that sounded like, 'yeah, something like that.'
"Hey, what's your schedule?" He took it out of his pocket, and I grabbed it, unfolding it and searching through the classes he was placed in.
"We have about 4 classes together, come on, I'll help you out." I led him to my locker to exchange my books, a letter falling out of my locker. I raised my eyebrow and stuffed it in my pocket, figuring it was some cheeky thing that Kay wrote and stuffed in my locker or something.
"So, you should get your books by the end of the week, and should have a locker by tomorrow. You have B lunch which is after 4th period. You wanna sit with me?"
"C-Can I?" I rolled my eyes and closed my locker, lightly slapping him in the chest.
"No, I offered it just to rub it in your face that you can't."
"Wow, you and that Kayley girl are awfully sassy."
"She's like my sister."
"I figured. All you guys did was talk all period," He stated.
"It's what we do, deal with it." I said through a laugh, opening the door to my American History class, Jeremy following behind me and taking the desk next to mine.

~~~

KAYLEY'S POV

Lunch rolled around and I walked with Josh (alone) to the cafeteria. Where Millie had been the last 2 periods, who knew. I never saw her in the hallway. I hadn't seen the Jeremy kid either. I wonder if one of the barbie's have him locked up in the janitors closet trying to eat his face.
"oop, incoming."
"In.. what?" I stumbled forward when I felt Millie hop on my back, kissing my cheek before hopping off.
"Hiya babe!" I turned around and smiled, but it faltered when I saw Jeremy with her.
"Hey, you two." I said slowly, looking at Mills who seemed to brace for a scolding.
"What's up, man? Josh." As Josh introduced himself, I grabbed Millie's hand and pulled her away a bit.
"Mills, what did I-"
"You can't deny that he's a nice guy, Kay. I told him that he could have lunch with us and that we'd show him around."
"Fuck, Millie!" I whisper yelled. "I told you, we can't take in anyone new. Sure he's nice or whatever, but somebody's gonna prey on that and corrupt him."
"No, that wouldn't-"
"Shayla, Grace, Jamie, Michael, shall I continue? Don't you dare tell me that it can't happen."
"Give him a chance, okay? Stop being a bitch about this. Everyone deserves a chance!" That shut me up. I sat dumbfounded as Josh and Jeremy's voices echoed down the hall.
"Did you just- call me a bitch?"
"I have before, and I'm more than willing to call you out on it when I need to. Babe, he's not hurting anybody, alright? Trust me!"
"He's going to go through hell like we did if we were to take him in."
"He can protect himself if anyone starts shit with him. If not, we got him. Please, please, please give him a chance. " I sucked on my teeth and after a moments hesitation, nodded slowly. She smiled and kissed my cheek. Josh and Jeremy both walked up to us and I looked up at Jeremy who sent my a crooked smirk.
"So, can I sit with you?" I looked up at him and nodded. Josh looked confused but went along with it, all of us walking out of the school doors and down to the Taco Bell across the street.
"One thing, never trust the school lunch," Millie interjected. "We're allowed off campus lunch, so we walk or drive to the nearest fast food place everyday." I saw him nod in my peripherals as I unraveled my headphones, playing some Rise Against as I stuffed one in.
"What are you listening to?" Jeremy asked. I shrugged.
"You wouldn't know them,"
"Really? Try me."
"Okay, Rise Against?" His jaw slackened slightly as his pace slowed to mine.
"Whoa, didn't expect you to be into rock music."
"Good or bad?"
"Amazing." I tilted my head to look up at him before looking back down as the sun shone right in my eyes. Why did he have to be so damn tall that I had to look up at him? I still let a smile cross my features anyways.
"Thanks, Jeremy."

~~~

"Wait, what's this?" I asked, pulling a note out of Millie's back pocket as she got back from grabbing some mild sauce for us.
"Oh, dunno. Haven't read it yet. It fell out of my locker this morning, I just figured it was you. " I shook my head, watching as Josh went up to use the restroom. I smirked as I unraveled it, watching Mills scoot close to me to read it.

The note read:

Amelia,
You're gorgeous, but I can't seem to tell you how I feel.

No name, no anything. Just that simple sentence. Holy shit.

Millie bit her lip and smiled wide.

"Who is this? Wait, it better not be a jock or I swear to God-"
"I wanna see!" Jeremy mumbled through a bite of his taco. He had a bit of sour cream in his scruff, but I stifled a laugh and threw the note over to him. It floated onto the bench and he picked it up.
"Damn, somebody's gotta secret admirer!" Not so secret. I've seen that hand writing before.
"Eh, it's probably a nerd or a jock trying to play a trick on me." I fought the urge to roll my eyes.
Josh came back and gave me a shy smile. I winked at him and smiled, nodding nonchalantly so only I could notice the gesture.
"Dude, someone's crushin' on Millie." Jeremy told him, passing him the note. He put on this whole clueless facade that made me want to scream to confess.

He's liked her for over two years now. About time he admitted it. Not as blunt as I'd like it to be, being as Millie couldn't see the signs unless it hit her in the face, but it was a damn right step in the right direction.

After that, we went back to eating and made our way back to school.

Jeremy was a really cool guy, I could give him that, but it was only his first day. He could be here today and gone tomorrow to another 'clique'. Just to be safe, I wasn't going to be letting my guard down anytime soon.