Lies 1-50

I ripped the pages out of my notebook like they never meant anything to me. The were just words, they never did have any real meaning anyway. The fire in front of my face was burning my eyes, they were dry and itchy from the heat.

"CHARLOTTE!"

They had been looking for me for hours. Noah knew where I was the whole time, I suspected, but he knew I needed my alone time.

Levi went to hug me, but I pushed him off. "Traitor," I hissed.

"What?"

But I didn't answer, I ran. I ran until my blinking couldn't water my dry eyes and until I realized I had left my notebook of three pages at their feet.

I had no where to go. The tour was over, so I could've just run away. I could have just abandoned them like they abandoned me.

You know you can't do that.

My conscience was beating at my brain, battering my heart. I knew that if I left, the only tie I'd have to my family would be torn, that single bridge burned.

So I did the unexpected and went back.

Noah just nodded at me, he knew what I was going through. He was the only one who cared for my feelings anymore.

I wondered how, even though he knew, Levi could possibly do that to me. I knew you couldn't exactly plan those things, but you could be more careful.

"Sorry I overreacted." I muttered, looking at my feet.

"It's fine." Levi said with a sad smile.

Yeah, but it wasn't fine.

"Come here!" Natz pulled me into a tight hug and then smacked my back really hard. "IF YOU EVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN, I'LL KILL YOU!!!"

"Yeah, yeah, sorry."

"No you're not. But that's fine, I understand."

"I know."

I rolled my eyes around a few times and started laughing. It lightened the mood a lot, and I'm sure Noah was glad. He didn't like my temper tantrums.

At home I cornered my best friend and pushed him up against the wall.

"Noah, I want a baby."

"I know."

"So...? What are we going to do about it?"

"Um... I don't know. Each other?"

"Haha. No seriously."

"Char, I can't control that sort of thing. It just... you know, happens."

"Well I know."

But really, I didn't. I wasn't making sense, I was trying to hard to make sense and that was why. I was a ball of flaming jealousy that ate at my very core and spewed chunks of my intestines to the hungry dogs I called my friends.

"Well if you know, why ask?"

"I don't know. Why do you have to make this so awkward for me?"

"Because I do. Char, we can't just up and decide to have a baby and expect it to happen magically."

"Well, no, obviously not."

"Unless you're Skittles the leprechaun. Then everything is magical!"

"Yeah I know."

I sighed with this melodramatic tone that I couldn't stand coming from my own mouth. I pulled the last three pages from my diary, the one I burned, out of my back pocket and handed them over to Noah. Contained in those few pages were my thought on the last month of my life. I wanted nothing to do with it anymore, I had even written the world's smallest suicide note on th eback of the final page. Maybe that was the only thing that had meaning to me in that book.

"Cahrlotte, I love you. You've just got to be patient. We'll have kids when we're ready."

"Well I am ready, and I'm freaking sick of waiting. I want a baby."

"I know, love, I know."

"And I'll do anything to get one."

And suddenly, I had the most devious plan wash into my brain.

It was sick, but it called to the begging mother in me.

I knew exactly what I had to do.