Stay Right Where You Are.

*Austin's P.O.V*

"Austin, please calm down okay?" Shayley's hand rests on my shoulder. "It's Alan, I'm so sorry I lied."

"W-why did you in the f-first place?" I say, attempting my best to recover from one of my infamous, yet frequent panic attacks.

"I'll explain when we get to The Gingerbread House." He gives me a consoling smile.

We called Alan and Justin's apartment The Gingerbread House because they were obviously both gingers. Though, don't look at me. It wasn't my idea. Blame Tino.

I smile back at him, and nod carefully. "Okay."

We return back down the corridor in which I had dragged him down, only to find a disappointed Justin and a huffy Tino.

"Where the fuck is he going?" Shay says angrily from beside me as we stare at the better half of me begin to vanish into the crowd of people.

"Home, I'm guessing." Justin shrugs, looking over at me as my heart practically crashes to the floor it dropped so fast.

He didn't even want to see me.

"Why?" I ask quietly, messing around with a string on my backpack.

"He thinks you hated him."

"W-what?" I say, eyes getting to be as wide as saucers. "I could n-never....I love A-Alan."

"Shhh." I feel Tino's calloused hand rest on my shoulder. "Let's just get a little shopping done and have a nice dinner, okay? Sounds nice, huh?"

We begin to walk back to his car as he keeps trying to calm me down.

"I'm tired." I mumble, knowing that feeling of hate for myself that began to fill my heart.

"Right after dinner you can go to sleep, okay?" Tino smiles gently, giving my arm a light squeeze before dropping it back to his side.

"You'll be sharing a room with him too." Justin says, turning his head to give me a half smile.

"R-really?" I say, my mood instantly lightening up as I practically squeal.

Justin nods, chuckling at my new expression.

"That's great, I..thank you!" I say, go giving Justin a brief, yet very tight hug.

He gasps, and begins to giggle. "Aus, it's not a big deal."

I nod. "Yes, I know that." I say, crossing my arms over my chest. "It's just...for the first time in two years I might actually be able to sleep."

Shay 'awes' out loud, and grips tightly onto Tino's hand. Lolwut, but I acknowledge Shay's reaction and give him a weak smile.

Now I just wanted to get home and be with my little Ginger Princess that I had missed so dearly. Surely he missed me too, I just interpreted his leaving wrong, I hope.

He had thought that I was mad at him for lying about his death, and no matter how badly it tore me up on the inside, seeing his face stitched together all my wounds, and I hoped he would stay to help do the rest of the healing.

I hop in the front seat while Justin an Shay decide they want a snack before shopping, and go off in search of pretzels.

"Who's is this?" I ask, pulling a cigarette out from under my ass.

None of us smoke, not like we were really allowed to anyway. It grossed Justin the fuck out. He'd kick anyone's ass who did, screeching about how they'd die of lung cancer.

"Alan's." Tino says quietly, putting the key into the ignition.

"What?" I ask, wondering if I'd heard him right.

Alan didn't smoke, he wouldn't dare, especially after the pain Justin would put him through.

"Alan's." He says a little bit louder. "It fell out of his pocket."

"How long has he...?" I ask, trailing off to turn my head, facing the window.

"A year, maybe."

"Why haven't you told Justin?!" I say, raising my voice as my head looks back over again to stare at Tino in shock.

"It makes him happy...but I will tonight, if you'd like." Tino replies, not at all phased at my little outburst.

"Alright, alright." I say, taking a deep breath as Justin and Shay re-enter the car, returning with their stupid pretzels.

"What's alright?" Justin asks, head popping between the space in between Tino and I.

"Oh, it was just something about Tino's bitchy boss." I lie, rolling the window down, letting the cool morning mist sweep through my hair as we begin to drive.

"Ah." Justin says, leaning back in his seat and I hear the click of his seatbelt.

-Time Lapse-

Walking into the apartment felt so abnormal.

"Hey J-J-Justin!" Alan slurs from the other room, a loud bang following.

The little asshole wasn't even old enough to drink yet, not like he had ever wanted to anyway.

I was feeling so alienated, and loud bang wasn't soothing me. Especially knowing that it was Alan.

"You alright?" Justin asks, walking quickly over to the hallway, waiting for his best friend to slither out of the shadows.

"Peachy!" He smiles, appearing at the end of the hallway, face lit up like it was Christmas morning as he wraps the other ginger in a tight hug.

I slid over and sat on the couch, just watching the little show. I didn't really want to get in on this.

"H-how was shopping?" He asks, leaning against the table for support.

"Uh, it was fine, Alan." He says, narrowing his eyes. "Do you happen to know where all the wine went?"

All the wine? How much did my little baby drink?! Last time I was here, he wouldn't even accept a girly-fruity drink, let alone bottles of wine? At least he had some class...

His eyebrows skyrocket. "No!" He lies, dragging out the 'o', making it sound extremely unconvincing, and I felt my overprotective side begin to make an appearance as I gripped the end of the couch as tightly as I could.

"You drank the entire fucking bottle and a half?" Justin throws his hands up in the air, shaking them angrily. "What the fuck, Alan?!"

I look over to Tino, wishing he'd say something to make Justin stop yelling at Alan. He was much to precious. Who cared if he did a...little drinking? Fuck. I cared. A whole lot, and now he was going to get addicted.

Tino, granting my wish, opened his mouth to speak, but the words he said made me want to split my head in half.

"Is that cigarettes I smell?"

I practically threw up on spot, waiting for shit to get entirely real, as Justin figured out the smaller boys filthy secret.

"Is. That. Cigarettes?" He practically growls at the now cowering Alan.

Oh Alan...

"No?" He replies, sounding more like a question than an answer.

"What did I say about smoking?" Justin asks, fury in his eyes as he goes after Alan.

He lets out a squeal, running away from him, but the older boy easily catches him, pinning him roughly to the ground.

"Were you smoking?!" He asks, holding Alan's wrists above his head.

Justin, I will fucking end you. I swear to god. I knew he wouldn't purposely hurt Alan, but their fights had always been awful. Luckily, Alan usually won. His rage was far worse than Trotta's.

"Yes!" Alan cries, screaming bloody murder as he squirms under Justin. "Now let me go!"

He drops his wrists, and stands up.

"Alan Anthony Ashby, you are lucky your boyfriend is here or I would kick your fucking ass!" He yells down at him, looking like he really would kill the younger boy.

"For the last fucking time," Alan cries, tears falling down his cheeks while he glared at Justin. "He. Dumped. Me."

And with that, Alan stormed off into his room, leaving me heartbroken on the couch, tears building up in my eyes.

"Alan..."I whisper softly before hiding my face in the pillow as the guys make dinner.

I feel the couch dip beside me and find none other than Justin giving me a small smile.

"You can't just blow up on him like that." I say, remaining my calm attitude no matter how badly I want to punch him into oblivion.

He sighs, scratching the back of his neck. "I know that. He just keeps finding these new ways of self-destruction and-" He pauses. "What if he succeeded one time?"

"In what?" I ask, setting my hands in my lap carefully.

"Suicide."